![]() Name: Kayla Gender: Female If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two million people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blviee taht I cloud aulactly uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanig. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in wht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be tatol mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wohle. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipomorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! Real Friend Rules #1: When you fall down I'll laugh at you and beat the daylights out of whoever knocked you over. #2: I will not hesitate to tell you when your cooking tastes like run over skunk hyped up on mountain dew. #3: No matter what you say, I am sticking you with the food bill. And don't forget that I eat A LOT. #4: I will not hesitate to point out that you have a hole in your pants, especially in public. #5: I will always find you a date for the prom, always. #6: When you turn red I will know that something good has happened and will annoy you till you tell. #7: When you smile I know you are planning something evil and that i must be a part of it. #8: When you stop talking to me... I will find out why! Even if it is not legal. #9: I will always be able to tell when you need a vacation and start packing for you. #10: When i am mad, you will know... #11: No matter what anyone else says and despite logic, I am not short and you will tell me I'm not... GOT IT?? #12: When the guy at McDonalds messes up your order of curly fries, I will be the first to yell at him... because I was going to ask to have some of them... FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (Aka: drinking buddies BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste! FRIENDS: Would ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap! A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it? Repost this if you truly a believer My name is Tiffany I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else im locked up All day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is tiffany I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me And you can help Sickens me top the soul, And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem And because you are effected, Do something about it! So all I ask you to do Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE Please pass it on. For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. Fav Cars/Trucks Chevrolet Corvette Roadster Ferrari Enzo Chevrolet Camaro Pontiac Firebird Mitsubishi Eclipse GT Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4 Spyder Dodge Demon Roadster Peugeot 908 RC Ford Shelby GT500 Spyker C8 Aileron Zenvo ST1 Ascari KZ1 Bugatti EB110 GT Bugatti Streamliner Bugatti Veyron Cadillac XLR Citroen C Metisse Mercedes Benz SLR 722 Peugeot 908 RC Saleen S7 Twin Turbo SSC Ultimate Aero Toyota FT HS Venturi Fetish GMC Topkick Funny Quotes The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. If you die I'll find a way to bring you back and kill you myself Normal people worry me Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do Don't regret doing things, regret getting caught Everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a BAD EXAMPLE I reject your reality and substitute it with my own - Adam, Myth Busters The early bird my get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese It's mind over matter I don't mind ‘cause you don't matter I went insane and all I got was this stupid jacket Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back I didn't create sin, I've just perfected it. Join the Dark side, We've got Cookies! I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. If talking to your self is the first sign of insanity, what’s sign two? I only love two people and your not one of them I’m a cold and heartless bitch, but I’m damn good at it Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over. Show me a sane man and I’ll cure him for you. Thank you for visiting reality, come again, … Now entering your life, Welcome I know a thousand ways to always say the wrong thing. They say the truth will set you free, then, how come every time I say the truth I get sent to my room? I’m already imagining duck tape over your mouth. Until I was 13 I thought my name was shut up. When you find yourself with out a friend in the world you know you have succeeded. I’ve already won so shut up and bow before me. I’m smarter, stronger, and older than you so show some respect. I KNOW A SONG THAT GET’S ON EVREYBODYS NERVES, EVREYBODYS NERVES,EVERYBODYS NERVES… I see stupid people and they don’t know they’re stupid. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives me lemons, I squirt lemon juice in life’s eyes. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice with them, then sit back and let the world wonder how in the seven hells you did it. Don’t think of it as ditching school, think of it as a self approved field trip When you fall, I'll laugh When the world fall to chaos, you'll know I won A friend will tell you he's not worth it. A best friend will call him and tell him he has 7 day's to live. A friend will tell you he's not worth it. A best friend will walk up to him and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?" I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now! Fight Crime: Shoot Back! How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost? All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Bitch. All that matters is whose Bitch you are. Common sense is such a rarity in guys it’s a God-forsaken superpower. I dare to be different. I like to be unique. ‘Cause I know I’m cool when people call me a freak! Just when you thought you were the center of attention - I showed up! You and your girls might turn heads, but Me and mine, we break their necks! Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a Barbie doll. When people you don’t even know hate you, you know you’re the best. That’s why I love my Haters. I’m not done yet. Hell, I’m just getting started! Imperfection Is Beauty. Madness is Genius. And it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely stupid. I’m a wishful thinker with the worst intentions! Love me or Hate me - either way I’m on your mind! I rock your style just to make it hotter! If God wanted me to fit in, He would have made me a clone. A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap them across the mother-- room They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people. Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. Of course I'm talking to myself who else can I trust? So what if we act immature idiots? We are having fun. PLEASE READ. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail: 1.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. 4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. 5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min. 7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. 8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. 10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. 15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). 16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. 17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. 18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave. 20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave. 23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary. 25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?" 26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! 27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. 28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" 30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. 31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her. 32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." 33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..." 35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby. 40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour. 41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it. 44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam. 45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras. Daddy's Poem: Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow, Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home, Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say, What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone, And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all, About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls. There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats. One by one the teacher called, a student from the class, To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare, Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their. "Where's her daddy at?" She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day." The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom, And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak, And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique. "My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away, But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know, All about my daddy, and how he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike, He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone, And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone. 'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart, I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest, Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears, Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life, Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd, She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star, And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year, When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away," And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise, A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside, Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side. "I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out, And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt. Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed, But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose. And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star, And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them. I went to a party, Mom I felt proud of myself, I made a healthy choice, I got into my car, Now Im lying on the pavement, My own bloods all around me, Im sure the guy had no idea, So why do people do it, Mom Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Someone should have taught him, My breath is getting shorter, Mom I wish that you could hold me Mom, One message: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE |
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