lalaland91
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 06-11-08, id: 1601909, Profile Updated: 01-08-09

I don´t even know if someone is going to read my profile probably not, but what the hell. I´m only here to read all the wonderfull fanfictions out there,they help me passing time while I´m waiting for the movie, because I live in Germany the movie is going to come out on the 15th of january 2009 yap that late!

So something about me:

I´m not intressting

But anyway. As I said I´m living in Germany, in a small town near Stuttgart.

I´m 17 (yay me not)

I was born on my moms birthday and also the same time as she was born.

I have a very interesting story to tell. Well here we go. Some while ago while we visited my uncle his wife told me a story about my grandma. (You have to know My parents are fom Macedonia) So my grandpa (R.i.P.) and my grandma visited the parents of my grandma in her village (Grandma=village, Grandpa=City) and in some corners they had garlic. My Grandpa began to be curios, but did not want to ask. So while they were talking they heard strange voices from the loft, garret Idk. So my grandpa asked if everythings allright and my greatgrandmother (R.i.P) just answered: "Oh, well nothing much toworry about , that are only the vampires." My Grandpa thought that she was just joking and laughed, but she told him that they indeed have vampires in the village and some of the villigares sometimes talk with them. After I heard that story I couldn´t speak for 3 min. but after the 3 min. I only said : " Take me to that village". They all looked at me and said that I´m completely crazy , after that, they said that there are no more vampires there they would know of. I felt like crying. Oh and after I asked them about cross´ they said: " First of all we are muslims we don´t have cross´ second of all vampires are not afraid of them"


Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

If you think that describes Edward Cullen, copy it into your profile!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The World Is Ugly by kiwixpsychedelic reviews
Edward has been blind since he can remember, Bella is his new guide, he falls in love with her, completely charmed by her voice. But when his sight is repaired, will he be dissapointed by what he sees? full summary inside BXEhuman rated M please review!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 19,520 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 221 - Updated: 5/7/2011 - Published: 6/17/2008
Upper East Side Story by adia90 reviews
In the jungle known as the Upper East Side, playboy extraordinaire Edward Cullen needs to find a bride in order to unlock his inheritance. Throw in platonic friend Bella Swan. Thank God for good friends, or will they mess? AH AU EB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 71,825 - Reviews: 1628 - Favs: 1,660 - Follows: 2,041 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Edward, Bella
A Stained Seduction by BlueBlood359 reviews
The Seduction of Edward & Stained Glass Windows re-worked. The plot is the same but the rest is MUCH different. Trust me, It's worth re-reading. : A/N The rating will only be a T for the first few chapters, then it will be moved to the M section.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 36,257 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 276 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 11/4/2009 - Published: 9/22/2008 - Bella, Edward
One Night Standers by KellmettRocksThatHat reviews
Bella has a one night stand with a beautiful, bronze-haired stranger. The next day she starts work as a secretary and learns of her bosses less than angelic ways when it comes to women. So who is this boss?A certain Mr Cullen. R&R. AH. OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,224 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 7/10/2009 - Published: 8/22/2008 - Bella, Edward
One Year in Heaven's Hell by hellopants reviews
This is the sequel to The Curse of the Smiley. It will make no sense if you don't read Smiley first. Our little Oren is teaching Edward and Bella a few new tricks! Read and enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 68,043 - Reviews: 1991 - Favs: 1,214 - Follows: 1,155 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 3/9/2008 - Complete
The Curse of the Smiley by hellopants reviews
Bella and Alice love life at college, they are best friends and have a great apartment. Then Bella finds out she is pregnant from a one night stand with Alice's cousin.. Edward! Rated M for chp 17! I do not own twilight or the Characters, all human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 71,459 - Reviews: 1713 - Favs: 2,342 - Follows: 742 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Heaven Help Me by Alexander-In-Autumn reviews
Bella needed a friend. What she got was a hot gaurdian angel named Edward, who's determined to make her happy. How long will he stay on Earth to complete his job? Evil Mike, sweet Edward, shy Gothic Bella.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 102,019 - Reviews: 1652 - Favs: 915 - Follows: 906 - Updated: 11/26/2008 - Published: 8/11/2007 - Edward, Bella
Campus Liaisons by Isabel0329 reviews
Bella Swan starts her first semester as an English professor with just the right thing – a one night stand. But what happens when that one night stand shows up in the most unexpected place? All-human, OOC. Rated M for language and sex.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 45,079 - Reviews: 2717 - Favs: 3,773 - Follows: 1,747 - Updated: 11/7/2008 - Published: 8/22/2008 - Bella - Complete
All The Pretty Corpses by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
COMPLETE Bella Swan is a siren to the vampires. They come far and wide to hear her beautiful voice. NOT a song fic. BXE Darker side of Stephenie's vampires.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,132 - Reviews: 781 - Favs: 503 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 11/2/2008 - Published: 5/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The End Of The Rain by whitereflections12 reviews
My version of Ian and Wanderer's first night together, the night after all threat of rains ends and they have moved back on their own. I was just DYING to write this...some sort of compulsion, lol.
Host - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,468 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 55 - Published: 10/11/2008 - Ian O., Wanderer/Wanda - Complete
Stained Glass Windows by BlueBlood359 reviews
A sequal to The Seduction of Edward..... When Edward finally gives in will Bella finally get what she wants or will the road she's taken lead only to heart ache?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 53,597 - Reviews: 2192 - Favs: 1,066 - Follows: 678 - Updated: 9/22/2008 - Published: 7/19/2007 - Complete
The Seduction of Edward by BlueBlood359 reviews
Alice gets a vision about Bella that leaves Edward stunned. Will he get what he has secretly wanted. Or will he be too stubborn to do something for himself for once. But when Alice tells Bella of her vision, Bella becomes determined to make it happen.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 13 - Words: 27,903 - Reviews: 916 - Favs: 1,295 - Follows: 495 - Updated: 9/22/2008 - Published: 3/30/2007 - Complete
Your Guardian Angel by ANNEMARIECULLEN reviews
JACOB AND NESSIE! Takes place AFTER Breaking Dawn. Jacob and Nessie's relationship has its struggles as she grows older. Will she fall in love with Jacob? JACOBS POV. Summary SUCKS! Read and Review! Will have lemons!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,876 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 9/15/2008 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
Queen of Hearts by Rach Cody reviews
Ok so we have all read the "Bella is new to town, Edward is a playboy who falls in love with her" etc...I hope I can show you this is different! Its my first fanfic r&r please! Give me a go! love Rach M rating for now...hehe
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,109 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/26/2008 - Published: 8/17/2008
Funeral Mute by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Edward is a soul collector and Bella just died – more funny than dark. These are not my personal beliefs. ONE-SHOT
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,395 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 298 - Follows: 53 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Picking Charlie's Brain by vjgm reviews
It is Post Breaking Dawn, and Bella is changed, and married to Edward. Charlie finds out that Bella is a vampire, but no one believes him. They take him to the hospital and put him under the care of the skilled Dr. Dover! Fun ensues :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,413 - Reviews: 383 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 109 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Charlie S. - Complete
You May Now Kiss the Bride by vjgm reviews
This is my version of the wedding starring then minister, Emmett Cullen. With Emmett in charge, you know that humor will be involved. How does Emmett handle this important job? Will he behave? Or will Bella and Edward kill him? ONESHOT of SILLINESS.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,887 - Reviews: 615 - Favs: 1,269 - Follows: 201 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Emmett
Morgue by hellopants reviews
A funny no longer one-shot I came up with sitting in a hospital waiting room. Those crazy Cullen's are at it again! VAMPIRES! It's being continued thanks to bribes from My-Bella and E. C. Cullen. The new stuff is what happens when Edward gets home!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,696 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 6/25/2008 - Published: 3/11/2008
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8476 - Favs: 7,705 - Follows: 1,830 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
The way back by caracol reviews
Sequel to "A rite of passage". All human. Very OOC. A story about becoming adult, dealing with your past and your future.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 77,798 - Reviews: 2060 - Favs: 2,233 - Follows: 728 - Updated: 5/10/2008 - Published: 3/13/2008 - Complete
A rite of passage by caracol reviews
AU All Human. Bella and Edward are best friends. A story of self discovery and the loss of innocence. This story is about how two people deal with sex, love, trust, friendship all while growing up. Very OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 35,392 - Reviews: 1187 - Favs: 3,048 - Follows: 710 - Updated: 3/13/2008 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Complete
Coming of age by caracol reviews
Companion piece to "A rite of passage" from EPOV: A story of self discovery and loss of innocence, through love, sex and friendship. Must be read after or concurrently. Very OOC. All very human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,768 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 197 - Updated: 2/27/2008 - Published: 2/25/2008
Under Arrest by vjgm reviews
Add on to Family Therapy. Want to see what the Cullen kids did to get arrested and make Carlisle's Book of Shame? Read on! If you have not read family Therapy Cullen Style, this will not make sense.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 706 - Favs: 1,098 - Follows: 306 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete
Vampires in Vegas by vjgm reviews
Alice and Rosalie decide to take Bella to Vegas for a bachelorette party against her will. The boys feeling leftout, decide to get themselves into a little trouble too. 1st fanfict...rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 40,254 - Reviews: 1488 - Favs: 2,030 - Follows: 439 - Updated: 9/28/2007 - Published: 9/21/2007 - Complete