About Me:

I am a young woman who loves to read and write novels. I live in a small apartment with my 4 cats. One is a diluted tortoiseshell named Lulu, one is a normal calico named Mitzi, one is a orange and white one named Gizmo, and the last one is a fat black one named Castiel.

I got hooked on novel writing in either '05 or '06 by CosmicalMadison. Comical Madison and I have been friends for as long as we remember and we can't even remember how we met. Ever since we met she has been by my side and i truely cannot live without her. she is the most amazing friend i could ask for and i am glad to have her. i hope we stay friends forever. LOVE YA LOTS COSMICALMADISON. CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU AT ALL. DON'T EVER STOP BEING MY FRIEND BECAUSE I WOULD DIE IF YOU STOPPED BEING MY FRIEND. I WOULD ALSO DIE IF YOU DIED.

Usernames:

aslanfan1(past)

joeluv(past)

keviee(past)

hamster6276(present)

The Name Game:

Soap Opera Name (middle name and current street name): Lucille Maple

Super-Hero Name (favourite color and favourite drink): Blue Cream Soda

Star Wars Name (first three letters of last name, first three letters of first name, last three letters of mother's maiden name): McGPamRan

Arabic Name (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name): Aglcrje

Goth Name (black and the name of one of your pets): Black Rocket

Witness Protection Name (mother’s & father’s middle names): Marie Martin

Nascar Name (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad): Patrick Ernie

Fly Name (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Paen

Copy & Paste:

"If your skin is almost always cold...copy and paste this onto your profile."

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Check this out...

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

try not to cry on this one:

A girl and her boyfriend were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: no it's not. please, it's so scary.

Guy: then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now please slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

(She gives him a big hug)

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me.

The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that his brakes weren't working, but he didn't want his girlfriend to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live, even though that meant he would die. If you would do the same thing for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On NytolSleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)’ from the profile of ME LOVELY JAZZY

Quotes & Sayings:

They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people. Do you?

"Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs."

"Don't walk in front of me because I may not follow. Don't walk behind me because I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

"If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?"

"Whoever says nothing's impossible should try nailing jello to a tree."

"I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

Was in a review for After Camp rock response to the would you rather walk Elvis (Nick Jonas's Dog) or Daisy (Danielle Delease's Dog)

As for your questions...
I couldn't find what Daisy looks like, but I'm going to say her, because
Elvis looks HUGE and he'd probably be walking me.
thanks cosmicalmadison. you are a good friend who makes me laugh

Heard in My Psychology class

Teacher: The soldier would sleep with his hand on a pistol under his pillow.
Student (surprised): He slept with a pistol under his pillow??
Teacher: It is very dangerous to sleep with a pillow under your bed

Heard in My Yearbook/Newspaper Class: yes i share it with cosmicalmadison

Teacher: You can call anyone as long as it's for research purposes.
Student (excited): Can we call Japan??
Teacher: No, they're sleeping now.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"