Author has written 3 stories for Artemis Fowl, and Harry Potter. Hi, I'm StubbornTenshi, I guess I should tell you a few things about me as a fanfictioner. For one I'm much more of a reader than I am a writer (like you couldn't tell from my number of favourites =P ), and when I do write it is generally VERY slow as my muse only comes for few and very far in-between visits =( Some of my favourite animes include: DNAngel Yami no Matsuei (Hisoka is undoubtedly the most kawaii guy on the planet!!) Full Metal Alchemist Bleach D.Grey Man (I'm majorly obsessed with this, much to my friends eternal disbelief) xxxHolic (again very obsessed) Burst Angel Wolf's Rain Kuroshitsuji Junjou Romantica Tsubasa Chronicles and anything basically that contains yaoi!! that means boyxboy for those who don't already know and many, many more!! This means that most of my friends think I'm totally mad but I'm not! (I swear) and it also means that I'm almost always on my computer but thats great for me anyway =) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx My Stories Blood really is thicker than water: Unfortunately I've given up on this entirely and it has been adopted. When the new author updates I'll send out the new title etc. When Movies Meet Real Life: My only (at the moment) oneshot. Just so you know, any slashy vibes you might possibly pick up were entirely unintentional (not that my brother believes me, but he isn't a fan so I generally ignore his input =P ) Harsh Lessons: This is a SLOW work in progress that WILL at somewhat irregular intervals be updated. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I found this and thought it was the most funny thing I'd read in, like, forever. I mean it literally had me laughing into my drink as I read it so that I almost couldn't breathe. It's that funny! Seriously! 103 (now 104) Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort Sure-fire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Crucio'd round the block and back again 1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?' 2. Laugh at him. 3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...' 4. Knit him things. Really hideous things. 5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month. 6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows. 7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess. 8. Dance the Funky Chicken. 9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath. 10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again. 11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him. 12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night. 13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live' 14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?' 15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his. 16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals. 17. Be cheerful. 18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!' 19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ. 20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.' 21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.' 22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?' 23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars. 24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps. 25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. poof there poof gone poof there... 26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one? 27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you. 28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?' 29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices. 30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly. 31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll. 32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is. 33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!' 34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling. 35. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'. 36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways' 37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head. 38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!' 39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger. 40. Buy him a stress ball. 41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph. 42. Call him Tommy-boy. 43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo. 44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes. 45. Say he 'looked better under the turban' 46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some. 47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'. 48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length. 49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away. 50. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful' 51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'. 52. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter. 53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party. 54. Tell him what Snape's really up to. 55. Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles' 56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment' 57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk. 58. Ask him to dance a polka with you. 59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible. 60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?' 61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you. 62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London... 63. Throw tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them. 64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he. 65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry. 66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies. 67. Steal, snap and bury his wand. 68. Tell him Lucius did it. 69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details. 70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive. 71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty. 72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause' 73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling' 74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son. 75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?' 76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.' 77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him. 78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy." 79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy' 80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle. 81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance. 82. Cuddle him at random moments. 83. Sign him up for Little-League. 84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies. 85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly. 86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie' 87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world. 88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore. 89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice. 90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements. 91. Write sonnets for him. 92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning. 93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant. 94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie' 95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'. 96. Mock his baldness. 97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments') 98. Get him drunk. 99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah' 100. Let him catch you trying on Death-Eater robes. 101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive. 102. As he's plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like "Not gonna work," or "stupid." 103. Call him "Champ" or "Tiger." Refer to yourself as "Coach." 104. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx If you approve of gay-marrigaes put this on your profile and add your name to the list. Gaara's-pandachan101, art-is-a-BANG-2-hard-to-resist, Lee-All-The-Way, Starchip13, Wistful-Dreamer, Calypphire, StubbornTenshi If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever had a crush on a book character copy this to your profile xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile! 1) Being gay is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Studies show that three out of four people are clinically insane. Think of your three best friends. If they seem okay, than you're the one!" If you have an insane friend, or are insane yourself, copy this to your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list, Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, WanderingTeen, Erik's Muse, Celticfox, StubbornTenshi If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this onto it to make it even longer. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. "Aoccdrnig to a If you could read that put it in your profile. You know you live in 2007 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx My favourite quotes from GREAT fanfics: Will: "By my troth, it is no addition to his wit, nor no great argument of his folly...for I will be horribly in love with him." Jane: "Will, only you could admit such a thing by quoting Shakespeare." From 'The Dust of Time' By Mizzy Theo: “Quis does non iuguolo mihi mos tantum planto mihi validus.” Hermionie: “What does not kill me will only make me stronger. Nice.” From 'Black Wings' By Harpy Wings Sirius: “No consideration for others, those Potters. Left us standing out in the hall way.’’ Remus: “And with us dead on our feet.’’ James: “Honestly I don’t know ... the kids these days just have no consideration for others. First he leaves us standing out there on our poor feet and now he won’t even introduce us to his friends. You’re embarrassed of me aren’t you?’’ Harry: “Hermione, Ron this is James—’’ James: “Just enchanted to meet you.’’ Harry: “This is Remus—’’ Remus: “Hello.’’ Harry: “And this is Sirius—’’ Sirius: “It’s so fabulous to finally meet you. Our little Harry hardly talks of anything else.’’ From 'CAUTION: Marauders Travelling' By aroar11 ‘Never cross a Malfoy, you won’t see them coming’ Pureblood unwritten rule from Janara's 'Not Your Usual Veela Mate' 'Sirius, I love you, but you’re odder n’ me' Thought of Harry from 'Faith' By Pay Backs A Bitch Doumeki was averaging about a four on the Watanuki spaz-out scale. It may be a small number for a Watanuki, but for a Doumeki this was equivalent to re-enacting Hiroshima. From 'The Golden Dragon' By KageKitsune XXX Noi sighed. “Sunako, you need professional help. You know that?” “Yeah, but where can I get a proper assassin at such short notice?” Sunako asked. From 'My Scary Fair Lady' By Night's Fang “Don’t play with fire, kill no one, stay away from Dark Lords...” Harry muttered sarcastically. “...eat something, don’t run in the hallways, use no magic...” Draco interrupted. “...don’t annoy the teachers, no pranks, be good...” Harry took over again. “... and above all,” they chorused, “eat no lemon drops.” From 'Winter and Ice' By Dinkel It was just one of those things that WAS. There wasn’t any point in analyzing it, or trying to explain it. The sun rose. The sky was blue. Doumeki needed Watanuki. From 'Indelible' By Amaranth Adanae ‘God spat on me when I was born, I know it. It is only because of some Merlin-forsaken prophecy that I am cursed to this fate. You are all relying on me to save your butts, well all I can say for your taste in savors is, You are all so screwed.’ From 'In Another Life' By Moon's Blood Trillian: 'You never see pregnant women out of doors until the second trimester, when everything’s settled down a bit. If they’re let outdoors before then they have to be gagged, bound, unconscious or under police escort.' From 'Inexplicably Parental' By Demus "Albus, this must stop!" Minerva demanded to the headmaster who sat impassively behind his desk. The rest of the staff nodded in assent, happy to let the deputy headmistress handle this situation. "This has gone far beyond playful pranks! Just this past week they jinxed Gregory Goyle so that he could only respond by shouting 'No Vacancy' at everyone, drew a Dark Mark on seven of their classmate's arms when they fell asleep and conjured up what they call the Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man no less than three different times! "Hermione Granger now insists the answer to every question is 42! Blaise Zabini has begun carrying around a large book with the title Necronomicon Ex Mortuus and claims to be the Dark Lord's stenographer! Neville Longbottom has begun his own 'Little Shop of Horrors' with cuttings from Pomona's private greenhouses and has trained his toad to attack on command! This is- This is- maddness! And it's only their first year!" From 'The Curse of Fate' By Mistress Nika The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the pouring rain. Featured in 'A Pirates Life For Me' By Skye-Chan 12 "Family are the insane people nature stuck you with, but you know you cannot live without them." - Unknown Featured in 'Ianto Jones or Harry Potter?' By Hope Night "They might as well put up a flashing neon sign at the gate. Warning…friendly natives…lock and load." From 'Unspoken' By Chaps1870 - from Area 52 Archives xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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