Personal Bio

Name: Mary Shaw

Middle Name: Margaret

Kids: Get off my lawn or i'll rip out ya tongue!

Age: 67

Personality: Quick tempered, short fuse, possible tongue-ripping reactions to screaming, same-old same-old

Hobbies: Ventriloquism, Ripping out peoples tongues, the usual

Fav. Colours: Crimson (Like Blood)

Likes: Dummies, dolls, tongues, hiding behind curtains of someones room and scaring them to death, normal stuff

Dislikes: People, Old People, living people, yellow frilly dresses, people with tongues, disrespectful little boys!

NOTE: I apologize for all those people who are people because instead of reading your FanFictions I might just have to rip out your tongue! Sorry, it's nothing personal!

:Quotes:

Reno 911!: Officer S. Jones: "Sir, I will not hesitate to beat your ass with your own shoe!"

Reno 911!: Officer Wiegel: "Uh, sir? A little less attitudeand a little more reverance for baby Jesus!"

The Mighty Boosh: Moon: "One time I saw a man looking at me, yes, with his eyes. And then he picked up a tube. And he looked, in the tube, and he made the moon big, inside the tube. The moon big inside a tube!

The Mighty Boosh: Spirit of the Jazz: "I'm gonna creep inside you like a warm kitten"

The Mighty Boosh: Old Gregg: "Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from out of space"

"Never pick a fight with and ugly person, they've got nothing to lose!"

"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet!"

The Mighty Boosh: Desert People (Sung): "I love the chosen one!" "Loving him is lots of fun!" "We love the chosen one!" "Not as much as me!"... "I love him with my heart!" "I love him with my body part!" "We love the chosen one!" "Ev'ry body shoosh!"

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come."

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?"

"I could have ate alphabet soup and crapped out a better essay!"

"Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Girls: No Shirt, No Charge!"

"He who laughs last, didn't get it"

"When there's a will, I wanna be in it"

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it or she'll take it anyway!"

"All generalisations are false, including this one"

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

"When you die, if you get a choice between going to regualr heaven and pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmm, boy."

Talladega Nights: Texas Ranger: "Old man, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!"

Anchorman: Brian: "I know it sounds harsh, but God does not want her to live."

"I'm scared and disoriented!"

"I'm a cross-dressing Nanny!"

"Shit!-ake Mushrooms"

The wonder of the world is gone, i know for sure.

All the wonder that i want i've found in her.

As a whole becomes a part i strike to burn.

And the flame returns.

Every intuition fails to find its way.

One more table turned around and back again.

Finding i'm more lost than found when she's not around.

When she's not around i feel it coming down.

Get me what i could never ask for

Connect me and you could be my chemical, now

Give me the drug you know i'm after

Connect me and you could be my chemical.