Author has written 1 story for Yu-Gi-Oh. Name: Myth Gender: One of them Age: Old enough to write, young enough to be alive Birthday: May 18 Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriages Are Wrong (A Little Humor) 1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. 2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, menopausal women, women who have a medical condition which makes it harmful to be pregnant, women who have had a tubal ligation, men who have had a vasectomy, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans. ((Meaning of Each Letter in Your Name)) A: Hot My name: M: Makes dating fun My name is Tiffany I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else I'm locked up All day long. When I'm awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says it's my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But it's now much too late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is tiffany I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me Please pass this on and do your part to stop child abuse. This is a true story. All schools have a class clown, someone that gets on everyone's nerves and that no one likes. There was one of these boys in this one school. Nobody liked him at all. He had no friends, the teachers hated him for his disruptiveness, and the students found him annoying beyond belief. He never seemed to care. One day, he had finally stepped on his teachers last nerve. What the teacher did was make everyone in the class stand up and tell the boy something they didn't like about him. As each of the thirty students stood up and said something about him they didn't like, he only sat and didn't seem to mind. All of the students did it. That day, when school was out, the boy went home, grabbed his dads gun, and shot himself in the head. If you think that the teacher was to blame, and that what she did was morally wrong and completely shameful, copy and paste this into your profile. Then, if you would have been the one to stand up and say "I'm not going to do this" then add your username to the list. Antire5, EmoWolves of Shadow, Killercat-nya, Juura99, LoveUntilWeBleed, SoapMaster, Bast14, NarutoXKyuubiXlovers21, The Lone Swordswolf, Kinarth, TheNeverEndingParadox, Gaara's-wife24, Mirai Cheshire, MythQueenOfDarkness THE BLACK MAN WHO SPOKE THE TRUTH A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "When I was born I was black," "When I grew up I was black," "When I'm sick I'm black," "When I go in the sun I'm black," "When I'm cold I'm black," "When I die I'll be black." "But you sir..." "When you're born you're pink," "When you're sick, you're green," "When you go in the sun you turn red," "When you're cold you turn blue," "And when you die you turn purple." "And you have the nerve to call me colored" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... If you hate stereotypes, copy and paste this into your profile. Bold the ones that are for you: I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. (Does bi count?) I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO. I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy. I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff. I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks. I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7. I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black. I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon. I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse. I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist. I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep. I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE. I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I CHAT I MUST be having cyber sex. I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins. I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan. I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion. I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED. I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast. I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s. I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times. I'm GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist. I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake. HOMOPHOBIA IS STUPID!! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it Dear bullies, See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked His friend out of suicide. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. Re-post this if you are against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't. I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said. ZODIAC SIGNS (Bold your Zodiac Sign) AQUARIUS - The Slut (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost. PISCES - The Addict (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost. LEO - The Cool One (7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost. CANCER - The Smart One. (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost. ARIES- The Irresistible One (3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost. SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits (11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost. TAURUS- The Aggressive One (4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost. LIBRA - The Partner for Life (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost. CAPRICORN - The Cute One (12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it… Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost. SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost. VIRGO- The Promiscuous One (8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost. GEMINI - The Liar (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost. Which month baby are you JANUARY BABY FEBRUARY BABY MARCH BABY APRIL BABY MAY BABY JUNE BABY JULY BABY AUGUST BABY SEPTEMBER BABY OCTOBER BABY NOVEMBER BABY DECEMBER BABY Notes To Self...Of DOOM! 1. Do not introduce yourself as role-playing character in public. 2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public. 3. Do not answer fictional characters in public. 4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public. 5. Do not go out in public. 6. Disregard last number. Do number 1-4. 7. Note Expressions. 8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you. 9. Floor is slippery when wet. 10. Lake is slippery when dry. 11. Only talk to strangers you know. 12. Strangers you don't know are spies...kill them all. 13. For legal purposes be sure to delete last note. 14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you. 15. Kill them for security purposes. 16. Crying doesn't solve anything. Try violent mood swings. 17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible. 18. The men in white coats are not your friends. 19. Ask them for a room full of sharp, pointy objects. 20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket. 21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, not the best cure for drowning. 22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. 23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age. 24. Always remember, uh...uh...damn. 25. Train armies of flying monkeys. 26. Goldfish don't like milk. 27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits. 28. Find out who invented the word 'pianist'. 29. People are staring at you. 30. So act insane. 31. People are weird but not as weird as me. 32. Do not taunt animals at the zoo. They have feelings...and teeth. 33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people. 34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do it as much as possible. 35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry, it's only me. Bonding. 36. Never pet a burning dog. 37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you're wearing a parka. 38. Naked men dig parkas. 39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka. 40. You know what would look good on you? 41. Immolated cockroaches. 42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug. 43. The size of Danny DeVito. 44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. 45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers. 46. Stalking is fun. Do it a lot. 47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree." 48. No matter what people say. There is a way into your fantasy world. 49. The way is rum. 50. Constipated people don't give a shit. 51. The Ten Steps to Dying. a. Fall down. b. Be rushed to hospital. c. Not be saved. d. Be mourned over. e. Be buried in dirt. f. Have your grave looted. g. Rot. h. Rot. i. Rot. j. Have your bones reanimated and used for pain, destruction and terror. 52. You cannot kill the snow. 53. The snow can kill you. 54. Grass can kill you too. 55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I couldn't get his lucky charms. 56. Catch and castrate leprechaun. 57. He is real...no matter what the men in white say. 58. Staple paper in the middle of the page. 59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally. 60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that. 61. Pretend to be so around the n00bs. 62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon. 63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway? 64. Go ask Senior Diablo for bigger pitchfork. 65. Remember to kill HIM. 66. Tell the small children in the TOYS 'R' US that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood. 67. Note reactions. Avoid parents. 68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory. 69. Scream. Doctors don't like it; they give you a shot of something nice. 70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise people will ask embarrassing questions. 71. Eat the evidence. 72. But not if it’s broken glass. 73. If in the presence of someone much wiser then you, point in a random direction and shout, "LOOK, a distraction." Then run. 74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats little children. 75. Disregard last note. 76. Note reactions. 77. On average, 100 people choke to death by ball point pens every year. 78. Stock up on ball point pens. 79. Learn to fly. Tell no one. 80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. 81. Do not stick fingers in a blender. 82. Blender...Bad...Ouch. 83. Blood loss is bad. 84. Find way to reattach fingers. 85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM. 86. Answer every question with a question. 87. Ask people what gender they are. 88. Note reactions. 89. Refer to people as mortal. 90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me. 91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible. 92. Start by drowning them in fire ants. 93. Find the creators of pop-up messages. 94. Kill them. 95. Brutally. 96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. 97. Dunk head in boiling water. 98. Disregard last note. Was written by voice #7. 99. Gullible is written on the ceiling. 100. Investigate this whole 'critical mass' when the klaxon dies down. There were 3girls They were looking through peoples MySpaces. The girl slowly came upon this one myspace. It had creatures in the background and the man looked like a psycho. She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was. Right then, an instant message came up. It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like my MySpace?? XxLoVemExX: What?? XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?? SatanStalker: Well, you should know; youre looking at my MySpace right now. XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?? SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace. XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make any sense, how? SatanStalker: I just do. Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you. Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say. At the time the girl was wearing high shorts. She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what ever she could. Her and her friend started to get worried now. XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me. SatanStalker: You should be afraid. SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you just said about me with your friend like a minute ago. They were in shock. Her friend: Holy crap man just block him hes a fcking psycho! The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes watching us? SatanStalker: I am. SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me from coming to your house. XxLoVemExX: What? My house? SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its not a problem. XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out. SatanStalker: Your screen name says love me, trust me that wont be a problem. SatanStalker has just signed off. The girl and her friend were really scared. Girl's friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone. They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight. All of a sudden the girl's friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok. Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up. She goes and knocks but no one said anything she opens it and finds her friend there on the ground dead. She started to scream but when she turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom; her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head. If you do not repost this in the next two minutes here will be three men, one in your bathroom, one in your room, and one killing your parents at that very moment. Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for? Repost or you are going to die. (Good thing I don't look at anything on Myspace) Girls don't realize these things I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy" I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy. I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along. I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care But most of all I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world. I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for... I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it. I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family. I'm sorry That I cared I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different. I'm sorry That I let you speak when you wanted, when I had so much that I wanted to say. Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' Spare the fenders, save the trees, give your sober friend the keys. FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost. FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away. FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. FRIENDS: Ask me for my number. FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. FRIENDS: Let me make an idiot of myself in public. FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only a little while. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. If the voices in my head paid rent, I wouldn't be broke. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets. No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me. The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality. I've got a mind like a steel-trap; rusty & illegal in 37 states. Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon. They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well I think guns help. I mean if you stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill too many people. Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it. If all else fails, try reading the instructions. Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying! I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder. Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies… When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. Some words of wisdom: Killers stab you in the head, Boys stab you in the heart, Friends stab you in the back, But best friends don't carry any knives. Break my Heart I break your neck Flying is easy just throw yourself at the floor and miss Sometimes violence is the only way to get what you want. Life isn't passing me by it's trying to run me over I know I seem mean but it's because I don't like you. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. My best friend is insane. If you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile. (You know who you are.) A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Therapist = The/rapist...scary thought You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! I don't obsess! I think intensely. If life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then, when life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll teach 'em. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it. When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell. "Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?" Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the titanic... and look how that turned out. There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry. Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary. Who ever says 'as easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried to. It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you! You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me. I'm not insensitive, I just don't care. I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert. The voices in my head don't like you. My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems. Boys are like slinkies...they're not good for anything but it's fun to watch them fall down the stairs. You can't make somebody love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope for the best! War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes! The statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're OK, then it's you! (What if it's all of us?) Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is optional! Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it. You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never have. According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless. Don't steal. The government hates the competition. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. Tell the truth and run. Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to. Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate. Just like rubbish does. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. Generally, generalizations are wrong. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research. If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years. We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality. If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. Anyone can die, have the courage to live. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. Be OPTIMISTIC... all the people you hate are eventually going to die!! Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!! Boys: can’t live with em, and it’s illegal to shoot em. What happens if you get scared half to death... twice? Heh. I'm looking forward to regretting this. I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying? It's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it? Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. If a Turtle lost it's shell, is it homeless or naked? If your name is Will, and youre in the army, do you get worried when people say, "Fire at will!"? Maybe this world is another planet's hell. A boy gave a girl 12 roses and one fake one and said, "I will love you until the last rose dies." I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? forget scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crud up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that. I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight. I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me. I've never been smart, but I have a brain, I know I'm not normal but feel insane, Not always right but I'm never wrong, Overpowering weakness to be strong. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars, and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" Silence is golden... but shouting is fun! Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls. The crazy people made me their leader, but then my mum took me away from the asylum we were in... For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is where you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is where you do or say a totally random thing, like 'do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?' or start having a thumb war with yourself. This is this cat. |
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