YO! At school I'm known as Cheeto and Flora Laura. But I hate the name Flora Laura. I prefer Cheeto. I love the musical Rent. I have 2 friends who also use fanfiction. They are kittiekat10105 and ChocolateMooseMouse. Anyways, I have an emo friend, girly friends, and many other odd personalities in my friends. my friends and I have an awesome game that we made up. Those of us that use fanfiction are writing a story about it. It is called The Story of Atlantis but it isn't finished yet.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile

If you have ever wished with all your heart that you could give Roger a really BIG hug so he would stop angsting, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you don’t believe in stereotypes, copy this into your profile.

If people have said to you that Rent is just about 'Gay people with AIDS that sing', kick them & copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever was watching a TV show that you hated, but didnt realize it, copy and paste this in your profile.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

if you had a fire in an igloo would it melt?

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

Why are they called stands if they're meant for sitting?

Why are flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

If it's illegal to drink and drive then why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

Why do they call it a building? Why isn't it a built?

Why is verb a noun?

Are there seeing-eye humans for blind dogs?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

Do pediatritions play miniture golf on Wednesdays?

How can a houuse burn up while it burns down?

Why is the THIRD hand on a watch called the SECOND hand?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?

Why is it called after dark when really it's after light?

Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are dead?

Before drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

The truth is finally known! Barney seems innocent and sweet but in fact he is Satan. It's all very simple:

1) Start with the given: CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR

2) Change all U's to V's (which is proper Latin anyway): CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

3) Extract all Roman Numerals: C V V L D I V

4) Convert into Arabic values: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5

5) Add all the numbers: 666

Thus, Barney is Satan.

A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project, he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."

And for plenty of good reasons, since:

1. It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. It is a major component in acid rain
3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. Accidental inhalation can kill you
5. It contributes to erosion
6. It decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. It has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was water. The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?" He feels the conclusion is obvious.

What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking -- "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I'd better carpet the toilet too."

What's with this weird hotel custom of leaving a piece of chocolate on the pillow? I awoke thinking my brain had hemorrhaged some sort of fecal matter.

Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think that next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."

Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."

Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?

If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?

Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"?

Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?

How come you have to pay someone to rotate your tires? Isn't that the basic idea behind the wheel? Don't they rotate on their own?

All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? Are you kidding me? No wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did those idiots expect the horses to do, anyway?

Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"

Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!

Did you see these new minivan ads? All they talk about are cup holders, kiddie seats and doors. What kind of advertising is that? When you see an ad for a suit, do they say, "And look at the zipper! Carefully hidden, but easily accessible when you need it!" I think not!

After much research, we present the annual aeronautical engineers report on the theory of Santa:

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish & Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15 of the total -378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there's at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with. This is due to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits/second. That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has .001 second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles/household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles; not counting stops to do what most of us do at lease once every 31 hours, plus eating etc. So Santa's sleigh must be moving at 650 miles/second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles/second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles/hour.

If every one of the 91.8 million homes with good children were to put out a single chocolate chip cookie and an 8 ounce glass of 2 milk, the total calories (needless to say other vitamins and minerals) would be approximately 225 calories (100 for the cookie, give or take, and 125 for the milk, give or take). Multiplying the number of calories per house by the number of homes (225 x 91.8 x 1000000), we get the total number of calories Santa consumes that night, which is 20,655,000,000 calories. To break it down further, 1 pound is equal to 3500 calories. Dividing our total number of calories by the number of calories in a pound (20655000000 / 3500) and we get the number of pounds Santa gains, 5901428.6, which is 2950.7 tons.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 lb.), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300lb. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see #1) can pull 10 TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with 8, or even 9, reindeer. We need 214,200. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. This is four times the weight of the ocean-liner Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles/second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within .00426 of a second. Meanwhile, Santa, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 lb. Santa, being very conservative in terms of guessing Santa's weight, would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 lb. of force. If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

A Merry Christmas to one and all!!

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it's easier to go faster when you're always going downhill.

The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

One in every four Americans has some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, than its you.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

"I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things I have not." --Lucille Ball

Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege.

Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Pride of nationality depends not on ignorance of other nations, but on ignorance of one's own.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

Careful. We don't want to learn from this. -- Calvin

Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.

To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.

No problem is so big and complicated that it can't be ran away from.

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hands.

If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for two weeks.

The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.

When all is said and done, much more is said than done.

There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.

Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

No Jesus, no peace; know Jesus know peace.

National Atheism Day: April 1st

Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Never judge a book by it's movie.

If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

For people who like peace and quiet - a phoneless cord.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

There are two kinds of pedestrians--the quick and the dead.

Some people are going to leave a mark on this world, while others will leave a stain.

Don't be so humble, you're not that great.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.

The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.