Update day is Wednesday. Not every Wednesday. Just on that day in general.

9/24/14 Note: K guys, I'm NOT gonna abandon my stories ok? but I have too many story ideas to focus on just one right now ( in other words I'm neck deep in plot-bunnies), so I'm not gonna post any more stories till I get the whole thing written out. (I'm not sure if I'm continuing Guard duty, so I just went ahead with that one) Unfortunately this means all my stories are on hiatus FOR NOW. I'm also thinking of fixing up some of my old ones. Sorry guys..

"Lie accomplished"-Dane Cook

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"- Stephen Wright

"I have the body of a eighteen year-old. I keep it in my fridge."-Spike Milligon

"Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with."- fortune cookie

"Run."-fortune cookie (o.o)

"Next time you wave use all five fingers."- fortune cookie

"You are nobody until you have been ignored by a cat."-fortune cookie

"Your only young ounce, but you can stay immature indefinitely."-fortune cookie

"I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug."-?

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."-E. Degeners

"The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government."-Thomas Paine

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."- George Globol

"Don't let your mind wonder, its too little to let it out alone."-?

"What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?'-?

"People are like slinkies completely useless but still fun to push down stairs."-?

"Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol."-?

"Volcano: a mountain with hiccups."-?

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot".-Steven Wright

"A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say."- Michael Wissner

"There are no rules,

but one.

Which escapes me."-Captain Jack Sparrow

"There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared, and that is twins."- Josh Billings

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we're missing until it arrives."-?

"I will kill you so hard you will die to death."-?

" A train station is where the train stops,

a bus station is where the bus stops.

On my desk, I have a work station..."-?

"Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out." "That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay sonic the hedgehog and dresses like the child catcher from chitty chitty bang bang?" Simon inquired. "No, probably not."- Simon and Isabelle (Thats why Simons one of my few fav.s from M.I. So far anyway. He kinda went downhill in book 2 ..the vampire-thing reminds me too much of Twilight)

"Here comes a dramatic flash-back scream! AAAAAAH!"-Ginjiro

'Dirt smells nice. Dirt = worm poo...' "I like the smell of poo!" -? (please tell me if you know where I heard this!)

"My feet are on fire!" Passalos wailed.

"Not shiny! Not shiny at all!" - from House of Hades

"Throttle him!" Ares cried

"Throttle everyone! Who are we talking about again?" - from House of Hades

"Its a freaking stealth turtle!" -Leo

'If a tree falls in the forest and crushes a demon, does the tree get cursed?' - from House of Hades

"I am the mother of all terrors!" Nyx cried "The fates themselves! Hecate! Old age! Pain! Sleep! Death! And all the curses! Behold how newsworthy I am!" - from House of Hades

"Anyway, I have to jump off this beam now and possibly hurtle to my horrible death. I'll talk to you tomarrow." - Clary

"In the beginning, the universe was created.

This made many people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams

"Ooops! Spontaneous dance move!" - Ginjiro

"..and hinted, maybe hinted, at a bright white-silver sunlight on the horizon that came in sideways at the streets, burst out from behind the haze a dozen times only to fade away coldly, as if embarrassed by its own attempts, before finally making that great bold leap and declaring to every eye that dared to look, GET UP YOU LAZY BA@#$RDS!" - The midnight mayor

(This! #points up# Is what it does to me. Every. Morning. #not amused#)

Finished stories:

Bunny - (Black butler/Harry Potter) one shot

Pillows and spilled coffee - (Death note) one shot

Springs - (Death note) one shot

Turtle - (Fullmetal alchemist/Teenage mutant ninja turtles) one shot

Revenge - (Black butler/Harry Potter) multi-chapter (5)

Curse of a sweet tooth - (Harry Potter) one shot

Expedition - (Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

Confusion - (Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

Accident - (Harry Potter) one shot

Never fall into a vat of wine - (Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

After the fox - (Oh! Edo rocket) one shot

Last chance at freedom - (Harry Potter/Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

Bad joke - (Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

The zebra incident - (Harry Potter) two shot

Mistaken identity - (Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

Flying class - (Harry Potter) one shot

Bird brain - (Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

The game - (Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

Envious mustache - (Harry Potter/Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

Snipe hunt - (Up) one shot

Big gulp - (Fullmetal alchemist) one shot

Guard duty - (Fullmetal alchemist/Harrt Potter) one shot?

On going stories:

Allie's school for magic - 2 chapters (Pokemon)

All for a fish - 1 chapter (Fullmetal alchemist/How to train your dragon)

The curse - 1 chapter (Ouran high school host club)