Name: Asteria

Age: 15

Looks: Brown wavy hair and blue eyes

Personality: crazy, energetic, fun

Likes: Greek mythology, manga, anime, books, glee, hetalia, death note, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Mistborn

Hobbies: ballet, singing, theater, reading, drawing, and rock climbing

Random Stuff:

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with a lot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux, Aintzane411, BillieMaysSaysKaboom, Nuns N' Bagels, animelover inf, Lady Lilane, RaNdOm CaT927, green-girl09, AquosBrawlerStar, Catluvur, SmartPerson18, teashadogs, Alexpuppy789,

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. (Power to the crazies!!)

If you have your own little world, copy this into your profile. (Yes, I have my own little world... It's called the Nintendoverse!)

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (I did like 5 seconds ago)

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile. (Can it be all of the above?)

Milk tastes good. Why would mushrooms have legs? If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! (Shroom Vision! There is a purple elephant dancing on my ceiling.)

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! (Have you met my friends? You'd have to meet them to understand.)

If you love to sadistically torture your favorite characters in your stories, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Yes, I'm not alone!)

If you think Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. (sometimes... I just wanna shoot something because I have writers block.)

99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks myspace is a dumb way to make friends,relationships,etc. post this onto your profile. (Does Fanfiction have a cure for that? The answer is HECKZ YES!)

If you have been caught randomly dancing, copy and paste this in your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. (Its entertaining.)

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE copy this in your profile. (Preppy people... Go die.)

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your carcass off. (LOLZ! Losers. XD)

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on:Sweet Nightmare's Good Byes: Naruto, Kakashi (Naruto) Sora, Riku, Zexion, Roxas )KH2) Daisuke, Dark; DNAngel , Ichigo (Bleach) Cloud (FFVII), XxDark_maiden201xX : Ryoma (prince of tennis) Yuri, Wolfram (Kyo kara maoh) Usui Takumi (Maid-sama!), Ginga no Yousei: Fuuma, Kamui, Subaru, Sorata, Nataku (X/1999) Allen, Madarao, Kanda, Lavi, Wisely (D.Gray-man), Mikhail Blanc, Brera Sterne, Alto Saotome (Macross Frontier), SmartPerson18: Pit (Brawl), Max (Beyblade), Takuya (Digimon), Momiji (Fruba!) Hatsuharu (Fruba! Again!), Alexpuppy789: Italy (Hetalia), Matt (Death Note), Near (Death Note), L (Death Note), Momiji (Fruits Basket), Fuji (Prince of Tennis), Eiji (Prince of Tennis),

How To Tell The Difference Between Best Friends and Friends:
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN Bitch RUN!'
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!! (He he, no kidding.)

Add this to you profile if you think it's funny:
Father:"You’re in big trouble Miss!"
Child: "I didn’t do anything!"
Father: "YOU KICKED HIM!!"
Child: "It was an accident!"
Father:"In the Face...?"
Child: "My foot slipped..."
Father: "Five times?!"
Child: ... (Yes?)

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! (That doesn't surprise me...)

Normal people worry me. (They honestly do.)

Your a great friend, but if the zombies chase us, I'm tripping you. (Yes Cherry, I would...)

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. (I am right now...)

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop, POST THIS (Join the club)

A good friend would bail you out of jail, your best friend would be sitting next to you saying "that was awesome" copy this on your profile if you have a best friend. (This is me, Tiffy, Cherry, and Olivia)

If you love chocolate copy and paste this to your profile. (CHOCOLATE!)

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horoscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you even bothered trying. (Tiffy!)

When the going gets tough, I go watch anime.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they @#!*% me off. (Tiffy! (again))

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! (Thanks to my buds!)

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. (Stupid druggies)

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. (To my loverlies!)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile (Why are you here?)

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (Tiffy! (a third time))

If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile (read about the rabbit)

If you know that August 13, 2011 is the 20th anniversary of the beloved Super Mario World, copy and paste this into your profile (This is to you Mario!)

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If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile (After every chapter! (INSIDER))

Shadow's whisper28's ways you know you're insane: (It's almost scary because I've done most of these...)
1.) You're bored, so you go eat a bunch of hot chocolate mix, then run around busting karate moves yelling something like 'FERALIGATOR!'
2.) You've been scared of that monster under your bed for YEARS.
3.) You make friends with above monster, find out his name is Gronth, and that he LOVES orange juice.
4.) You begin to enjoy your nightly talks with Gronth.
5.) You walk around with your finger gun, staring at people and pointing it at them, occasionally hissing 'freeze ray!' or 'Die!'
6.) You stare at your ceiling spinning in a circle, talking to no one about how the lights look like goldfish.
7.) You talk to yourself all the time, whether people are around or not.
8.) You've attempted to eat unknown substances, trying to gain unearthly powers.
9.) Little stupid things irritate you, ex. - nobody can say EM spectrum. They have to say the whole thing. Electromagnetic spectrum.
10.) You make up holidays so you have an excuse to eat candy, get sugar high, then play Battery on expert breakneck speed on rock band.

If a simple question takes you hours to answer copy and paste this on your profile. (22=5!)

Why is it that when something says 'do not eat' it makes it so tempting, why is that when something says 'eat me' you wonder what physico killer put it there? (I have no idea?)

If you have @#!*% talking to people but you can write people talking to people, copy and paste this on your profile. (Me and my anti-social friends)

If you speak dork copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Everyone is an idiot in some way (even me.) If you agree with this, copy and paste this into your profile.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
Post this on your profile to make someone smile!

Ways to creep out your roommate:
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon...''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.''

10 commandments of a Teenager
1)Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs. (Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. (Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents. (Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights. (Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class. (Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex. (like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (Just leave ‘em in the middle)

15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed...

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. (I'm a girl!)
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool cuz that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. (hentai included)
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
I play the VIOLIN, so I MUST be ASIAN
I can wear a SIZE 0, so I MUST anorexic
I wanna be a DOCTOR, so I MUST love blood and guts
I have a BIG BUTT, so I MUST be BLACK.
I have a great MEMORY, so I MUST be smart
I have STOLEN, so I MUST be a THIEF.
I have a DEVIANT-ART, so I MUST want to get discovered.
I hate MYSPACE, so I MUST have no life or friends.
I like to CUSS a lot, so I MUST I have anger issues.
I don't like SCHOOL, so I MUST be STUPID.
I dress PREPPY, so I MUST be white.
I shop at AMBERCOMBIE and FITCH, so I MUST be skinny and WHITE.
I like to CLEAN, so I MUST be a neat freak.
I like to BUY everything I see, so I MUST be a SHOPAHOLIC.
I have a FACEBOOK, so I MUST think I'm GROWN.
I wear short SHORTS, so I MUST be a whore.
I wear TIGHT CLOTHES, so I MUST want to show off my BODY.
I wear VANS, so I MUST be a SKATEBOARDER.
I wear NIKES, so I MUST be BLACK.
I wear CONVERSE, so I MUST be PUNK.
I don't go to the MALL, so I MUST not have a LIFE.
I don't like to EAT A LOT, so I MUST be BULIMIC.
I love my own RACE, so I MUST dislike the others.
I dislike my own RACE, so I MUST have ISSUES.
I hate CHOCOLATE, so I MUST hate all sweets.
I watch OLD SHOWS, so I MUST be stuck in the past.
I like RAINBOWS, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm OPEN MINED, so I MUST do everything.
I hate RAIN, so I MUST not like water.
I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST drink MILK.
I think MILK is disgusting, so I MUST be lactose intolerant.
I like going to RESTAURANTS, so I MUST be fat.
I hate the subject of SEX, so I MUST be prude.
I actually LAUGH during HORROR MOVIES, so I MUST have no a SYMPATHY.
I like to BAKE and COOK, so I MUST be FAT.
I think ANIME BOYS are better than REAL BOYS, so I MUST be CRAZY.
I can't stand TWILIGHT, so I MUST be a loser.
I love VAMPIRES, so I MUST be WEIRD.
I have BRACES, so I MUST look like a nerd.
I hate my BODY, so I MUST have poor SELF IMAGE.
I can't SWIM, so I MUST be BLACK.
I want to be RICH, so I MUST be POOR.
I love KID MOVIES, so I MUST be CHILDISH.
I have A LOT of CRUSHES, so I MUST be a WHORE.
I love CHOCOLATE and SWEETS, so I MUST be a FAT.

95 Percent of teens would have a breakdown if Justin Bieber were standing on the edge of a tower ready to jump, copy and paste if your a part of the 5 who would bring a lawn chair and popcorn!! (LOLZ! That is so us!)

If you randomly start singing when people say certain words, copy this into your profile. Hey hey you you I don't lik ur girlfriend. (No way no way I think you need a new one!Hey hey you you I could be your girlfriend!)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile! (To Fanfiction!)

Stuff to do in an elevator:
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you HATE and I mean HATE people who like to put cruel comments on other people's stories without thinking twice.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you laugh secretly at some people or keep on comparing them with characters because they resemble some characters, copy and paste this into your profile.

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now (More of 2...)

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me people: MWAHAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guy!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life

7. Money Money Money: Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your sorry butt.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you"

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone, copy this into your profile.

95% of the teenage population would be in a crisis if Miley Cyrus, Justin Beiber, the Jonas Brothers, and Selena Gomez were on top of a 5 story building. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're one of the 5% that would be screaming into a bullhorn, "JUMP, BITCHES, JUMP!!!

So You Want To Be A Death Eater: Your Guide To Everything Evil!

Greetings, new follower:

If you are reading this letter then you have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If by some unprecedented chance you are reading this and you have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest you put down this letter and leave now, or the consequences for you will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.

Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which you must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing).

The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly.

Yours in infamy,

Lord Voldemort

So You Want To Be A Death Eater?

Welcome to this helpful guide to being a Death Eater. This leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful servant to the Dark Lord. It will if you know what's good for you. Please read every page before eating.

Aims of the society:

World peace
To be evil
To conquer the world
Elimination of all Muggles
Elimination of all Mudbloods
Elimination of Albus Dumbledore & the Order of the Phoenix
Elimination of (miscellaneous)
To serve Lord Voldemort (that's me!)
To create sanctuaries for endangered breeds of snakes
This statement is a lie.

List of Equipment required for new Death Eaters:

(Equipment marked must be obtained from Messers. Gorgon & Black Limited, outfitters to the intensely evil and terminally stylish since 12 BC. Their premises are on Knockturn Alley, but they now do mail order as well.)

Long Black Robes (Casual)
Long Black Robes (Smart)
Short Black Robes (for summer wear)
Long Black cloak (silk is preferable to velvet, as it is much more absorbent)
Black mask (informal)
Black mask (sequined)
Black boots (Stiletto heels are no longer permitted)
Black leather gloves (barbed wire ornamentation optional)
Wand
Extra wand in case of losing first wand
Plastic imitation wand in case of losing Extra wand

Cane (For favored members only. Unauthorized possession of a cane will result in a heavy fine. Before possessing cane, it is necessary to pass a rigorous series of tests to ascertain that your carrying-a-cane-in-a-nonchalant-yet-evil-fashion skills are up to scratch).

Coffin
Dueling sword
Disguise kit, containing: Nun's outfit, false beard, beekeeping veil, Muggle policeman's costume, etc.
Saw
Assorted chains
Handcuffs
Pointy stick

Recommended Reading:

Curses and Counter-Curses by Professor Vindictus Viridian
Evil: A Beginners Guide by Professor E. Maledict
The Illustrated Torturer's handbook by Bellatrix Black
What Not to Wear in the Torture Chamber by Narcissa Malfoy
Sex, Lies, and Unforgivable Curses: The Authorised Biography of Lord Voldemort by Peter Pettigrew
Caring For Your New Tattoo: An Informative Guide St. Mungo's Hospital Skin Department

Death Eater may also own snake or dragon or hippogriff. But only Lord Voldemort may possess a basilisk.

Death Eater Rules:

No Death Eater shall be a spy for Dumbledore.
No Death Eater shall play the harmonica.
All Death Eaters must be proficient in the Dark Arts: murder, Unforgivable Curses, yodeling, yoga etc. An annual examination will be made to make sure that all members are up to scratch.
No Death Eater shall behave with integrity unless it is a genuine accident.
A Death Eater must be pureblooded.
No Death Eater must ever mention that the Dark Lord himself is not pureblooded.
No Death Eater may kill another Death Eater without a very good reason.
All Death Eaters shall answer Lord Voldemort's summons immediately. (Unless you are having a shower, in which case it is permitted to don a bath robe first.)
All Death Eaters shall have vaguely sinister surnames.
All Death Eaters shall overtake on the left.

Frequently Asked Questions:

What happens if Voldemort is displeased with me?

As this is a fairly run (and currently short-staffed) organization, you will probably receive a warning. And some soul-destroying torture. A second offense and you will probably die a slow death. Options include:

Being slowly eaten by a manticore.
Being dissolved in a vat of basilisk venom.
Gradual impalement on your own wand.
Being tied to a chair and forced to watch episode after episode of The Wiggles/Blues Clues/Dora the Explorer.
Death by Mandrake (according to season).
The Pancake curse. (This newly developed spell will carve you into wafer-thin slices. Victims killed in this way are traditionally cooked in hot fat and served with maple syrup or lemon juice at Death Eater feasts.)
Being flayed alive and used as a life-sized glove puppet at Death Eater children's parties.
Avada Kedavra (if we're in a hurry/ feeling rather unimaginative).

What should I do if I decide to leave the organization?

Make your funeral arrangements as quickly as possible.

(See above)

What is the salary like?

You should be in this job for the principle of the thing, not for sordid reasons. So let's just say that it's much, much better than they pay at the Ministry. There will also be opportunities for pillage, looting, theft, etc., and Christmas bonuses are guaranteed.

Does the Dark Mark hurt?

Of course it does; this is an evil society after all. What are you, a wimp?

Can the Dark Mark be removed by laser treatment?

No. Only a moron would ask such a stupid question.

But it can be temporarily obscured by a good-quality concealer. (Make sure it's a shade darker than your skin tone, as a lighter shade will simply draw attention to the tattoo. Pat translucent powder over the concealer to make it last longer.)

Is there a retirement age for Death Eaters?

You probably won't live long enough to have to deal with this problem.

Can I kill personal enemies or just opponents of Voldemort?

Murder is encouraged on principle; however, personal killings should be reserved for each individual Death Eater's free time, as obviously serving Lord Voldemort is much more important. Occasional massacre outings/ dark revels may take place as rewards for good (i.e. bad) behavior.

What should I do if Voldemort is defeated at the height of his powers by a one-year-old boy?

This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it.

The Death Eater Anthem

(To be memorised by each new recruit as soon as possible). Please note that this tune should never, never, never, never be sung to the tune of "Blackadder," an inane Muggle television program to which we are completely oblivious and never watch. Honestly.

Who lurk beneath the undergrowth?
When all is dim and dark?
Who murder people in their beds
Or sometimes in the park?
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
Our blood is pure as pure!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We all love Voldemort!
We serve the Dark Lord every day,
We're always very loyal
And if with us you don't agree
We'll boil you in hot oil!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We're evil as can be!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
But if we're scared we'll flee!
Our curses are incredible.
We're known for our Morsmordres
And though our leader is insane
We always follow orders.
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We're wickedness collective!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
Yet rather ineffective!

Health and Safety:

Being a Death Eater is naturally a dangerous job. Lord Voldemort accepts no liability for any pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience while in his service. No good will come of any attempts to sue him as a negligent employer. Trust us.

However, in order to protect members, these safety guidelines have been developed for Death Eaters both during leisure time and on missions for the Dark Lord:

Don't try to take out Harry Potter yourself. It is extremely presumptuous. Leave it to Lord Voldemort, who has much more practice.

Employ masterly deceit to conceal your allegiance to the Dark Lord: e.g., if someone accuses you of being a Death Eater, laugh carelessly and say: "No, I am not a Death Eater. Would you like a cup of tea?" This Machiavellian trickery should be enough to convince them.

If this does not convince your accuser, have them discreetly murdered. (Sussex and Fox Ltd, of 13, Knockturn Alley, run a very efficient assassination service and are currently offering cut-price deals for friends and associates of the Dark Lord. Present your membership card at the counter for further details.)

Keep your wand on you at all times, even if you are asleep/on a hot date/in the bath/on the beach/wearing very tight-fitting leather garments (or all of these at once).

Ostentatious indicators of evil, such as manic laughter/dressing entirely in black swooshy robes (Snape, this means you)/ making sinister comments/killing people should be practiced only in private.

If you suspect someone of being a spy, kill them and their family at the first opportunity. If it turns out they were not a spy at all, pass it off as a light-hearted practical joke.

Only eat food prepared by yourself or your faithful minions. Do not trust your spouse(s)/partner(s), no matter how pretty he/she/they may be.

Similarly, do not accept drinks from anyone. This may cause offense when visiting a pub or bar but it's better than being dead. Obviously.

Do not take off your mask for any reason while on a mission. If people see your face while you are conjuring the Dark Mark/ massacring etc, they may suspect that you are a Death Eater.

Do not try to smoke while wearing your mask, as it is not fireproof.

Never address your colleagues by name while on a mission. Survivors may recall it at a later date. For the same reason, never mention your address or telephone number to anyone you are kidnapping/raping/torturing/killing, no matter how attractive they may be. Evil relationship experts have stated that romance is unlikely to flourish under such circumstances anyway.

Burn all sensitive documents. Not only will this deter spies, it is also amusing as it contributes to global warming.

Set up an anti-Apparating spell round your residence (but make sure you have a Portkey handy so you're not embarrassingly trapped there if the place is attacked by Aurors).

Prepare a secret hideout for yourself should your cover be blown. Failure to do this may lead to your sharing a hideout with another Death Eating family, which often results in friction over use of bathroom facilities, television, etc.

Don't upset Lord Voldemort. It will only end in tears. (And multiple burns, fractured limbs, mortal torment, etc.)

Anyway, Copy and Paste anything you want.

77 Ways to Annoy Your Teachers

#1: When the PA comes on, scream "I HEAR THE VOICES!" and run around the class room.

#2: Bring a cheesy top hat to school. When the teacher tells you to "put on your thinking cap", put it on and claim that it is your thinking cap.

#3: If the teacher stops lecturing, clap your hands and chant "Don't stop! Don't stop!"

#4: Perform the classic "pin on the teacher's chair" prank

#5: Randomly shout out "Will you be my FRIEND?" (much like Klemper!)

#6: When your reading teacher asks if you read the assignment, casually say "I saw the movie."

#7: When you are caught doing something bad, such as talking, blame it on your imaginary friend

#8: Make a really big deal out of random things

#9: Make a huge show out of going up to the board to do a problem

#10: When talking about different cities/states/countries in Social Studies, claim "I went there!" for each one

#11: Whisper loudly for no apparent reason

#12: If a teacher mentions anything having to do with a song you know, stand up and belt out that song

#13: Bring a really strong and/or disgusting perfume/body spray and permeate the air inside of the classroom

#14: If a teacher asks you a question, smile slyly and say "It's a secret," mysteriously

#15: Drop your books on the floor periodically

#16: Hack into the PA system so that every time it comes on, it plays "Barbie Girl", the "Barney" theme song, or the "GhostBusters" theme song

#17: If a teacher asks you a question, snap at them and say "Hey! I ask the questions here, not you, buster!"

#18: Draw smiley faces everywhere

#19: Stay in the bathroom for a really long time

#20: Sing the school song at random times

#21: Go crazy with whoopee cushions

#22: Whenever there is lightning/thunder, scream like a girl and dive under your desk

#23: Randomly turn to the empty desk next to you and pretend to hold it hostage

#24: Talk in an annoying accent all day

#25: Run down the halls screaming "IT'S COMING!" When asked what, scream and get in their face "Don't you know? IT'S COMING!"

#26: Host a jocks versus nerds food fight

#27: Bring a stuffed animal to school. Act like it's a live thing all day.

#28: Talk like a combination of Mr. Lancer and Technus the whole day (oh the horror…)

#29: Randomly scream "OH MY GOSH! It's HANNAH MONTANA!"

#30: Hack into the computer system

#31: Bring your cell phone to class and set it for a really annoying ringtone. When it begins to ring, let it play until it's all done, then say "Oh, was that MY phone?"

#32: On a completely random day, throw a surprise birthday party for your teacher

#33: Criticize your teacher's favorite sports team

#34: Fill in your verbal answers with lots of "fillers" (that is, "ers", "ums", "uhs", etc.)

#35: On a test/worksheet, put down "I don't know" for every question, even if it's multiple choice

#36: In computer class, randomly scream "IT'S NOT WORKING!" When encountered, say "Are you BLIND? IT'S NOT WORKING!"

#37: When talking about the weather, fake a forecast in a deep weatherman voice (or act like Lance Thunder)

#38: Pose or freak out at the security cameras

#39: Repeatedly ask teachers for their autographs

#40: In the middle of a lecture, shout "HEY! I'm doing something over here you know! Jeez, some people are RUDE!"

#41: Stand outside of the classroom and act like a security guard. Ask people trying to get in for an ID

#42: During a tornado drill, grab the fire extinguisher and spray it all around

#43: Pull the fire alarm

#44: Come to school in your pajamas. When a teacher asks you about it, have a meltdown

#45: Go into the bathroom. When a teacher goes in, scream "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"

#46: "Graffiti" all over the whiteboard/chalkboard

#47: When there is a substitute, say "No, no, no, you're supposed to do it THIS way," to everything they say or do

#48: Come to school dressed as a superhero, Dora the Explorer, or Boots the monkey.

#49: If the teacher is late, help out by "taking over"

#50: If you disagree about something, start a huge rebellion

#51: In band, when the teacher tells you to stop, keep playing. When he/she finally gets your attention, say "That meant to stop? I wondered why everyone else stopped playing suddenly!"

#52: Advertise a "trash the teacher's lounge" event secretly

#53: When a teacher comes down the hallway, scream and jump into your locker

#54: Talk in rhyme all day. When asked about it, blame the GhostWriter (in rhyme, of course!)

#55: Write/say all of your answers in code/another language that your teacher doesn't know

#56: Change all of the clocks

#57: Place alarm clocks in random parts of the room and set them off so that they go off every five minutes

#58: When given an assignment, break down and cry "I CAN'T DO THIS!"

#59: Wear a bag over your head

#60: Do something annoying during a test

#61: In gym, when the teacher announces you'll be wrestling/boxing, stand up and proclaim "Violence is NOT the answer!"

#62: Take a sleeping pill so that you sleep during class

#63: If a ghost comes into the class, throw the Fenton Thermos at the teacher's head and smile innocently

#64: Spill balls all over the floor

#65: Shout out random things

#66: When given an 'F', say that you failed fashionably

#67: Wear slippers to school. When encountered, say "SHH! I'm spying!" in a loud whisper

#68: Dump sticky stuff EVERYWHERE

#69: In gym class, if hit even the slightest bit, act melodramatic. When encountered by the teacher, say "I see the light" dramatically

#70: Flip everything upside down

#71: Poke teachers in the stomach repeatedly. When encountered, say "I'm seeing I you're a robot, cause you drone a lot!"

#72: Give play-by-play commentary on everything

#73: Chew gum in class and make a big deal out of it

#74: When a teacher mentions something about you or your name, yell "STOP MOCKING ME!"

#75: Keep asking for Band-Aids. When asked about it, say "I'm making a modern art masterpiece! Why must everybody criticize me?"

#76: When answering a question orally, blather on and on

And for the Grand Finale…

#77: Get all of the kids to do a "High School Musical" thing all day

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."

"Are you insane? Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?"

"He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..."

"Brilliant! It's Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won't have the time to poison us all!"

"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..."
"Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically.

"Why were you lurking under our window?"
"Yes -- yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.

What my mother taught me:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

You Say Hannah Montana
I Say Avril Lavigne
You Say Jonas Brothers
I Say Linkin Park
You Say Justin Bieber
I Say Everyone is better then Justin Bieber *True!*
You Say Rap
I Say Rock
You Say I'm Weird
I Say Thank you
PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE!

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Geeks are smart. Geeks are cool. Geeks make up over 70 percent of the Universe's populace, or this one's, anyway. So geeks overpower all the rich and popular people, anyway. If you are a geek and proud of it, put this on your profile.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special? Maybe it's plot by Frito to get people arrested so they don't have to pay up!)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's "just a suggestion!")

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (Well... duh, a bit late, huh?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...And you thought...?)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And... I'm taking this because...?)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor and outdoor use only." (As opposed to... what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (O.O Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Maybe, ooh... fly American Airlines?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my... was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Iron: Do not place in any bodily orifice while turned on. (Because some things are not meant to be ironed out...?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity! Copy and paste this onto your profile!