OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to
administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.

WARNING:

I like cereal and me and my friends all have problems. Yay! Problems!

Awesome Quotes (note: not all of them belong to me. In fact none of them belong to me)

"Give food to a dog and it thinks, 'you gave me food, you must be god.' Give food to a cat and it thinks, 'you gave me food, I must be god.'

All of those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is

research.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good

On the other hand, you have different fingers

"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes."

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

I had amnesia once or twice.

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars".

The sky already fell. Now what?

Smoking cures weight problems...eventually...

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill.

The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

When I get bored I go to a Seven-Eleven and ask for a two-by-four and a box of three-by-fives.

I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle.

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out."

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

I wrote a few children's books...not on purpose.

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me.

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

Some people are afraid of heights. But not me, I am afraid of widths.

The truth of Halloween is that it is a holiday that celebrates millions of children begging for food.

Trash, trash, trash, trash...ooh! Garbage!!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I could take over the world,but Im just to busy.

Never try, never fail.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend

If at first you don't succeed, redefine what you did as success.

Chuck Norris jokes section:

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris is the reason that Waldo is hiding.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard, there is only another fist.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris drives and ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Chuck Norris can win Connect Four in only three moves.

Copy and Paste section:

THOSE WHO ARE CLINICLY INSANE BUT STILL HELP SAVE THE WORLD : PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile (P.S. It's why we're friends :D)

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

Survey Time!

One: Grab the nearest book, open to page 18. What's line four?

"The blood lust was on you, Khaz." Hunter smiled indul-

Two: Stretch your left arm as far out as possible. What's there?

Air

Three: What is the last thing you watched on Television?

SpongeBob

Four: Without looking guess what time it is!

8:50 p.m.

Five: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My brother taking a shower.

Six: When was the last time you stepped outside? What were you doing?

I was leaving for school

Seven: Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

The profile I copied this survey from.

Eight: What are you wearing?

PJs

Nine: Did you dream last night?

No, not last night. I don't have dreams that often, but when I do, they're whoppers!

Ten: When did you last laugh?

Probably when I was hanging out with my friends by the bus stop.

Eleven: What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Paint

Twelve: Seen anything weird lately?

Define weird

Thirteen: What do you think of this quiz?

Nice try! This isn't a quiz, it's a survey! There's a difference!

Fourteen: What film did you last watch?

In a movie theater? Can't remember. At home? Can't remember either. I don't watch movies that often.

Fifteen: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Buy a plane ticket to Japan, buy a personal translator, buy a huge stock of Nintendo and Square Enix., buy a PS3, buy a ton of games that my friend has that I want to play, and then I'd buy a plane ticket for my friends and family to Japan.

Sixteen: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of the guilt or consequences, what would you do?

I would movie Nintendo and Square Enix world headquarters to the US.

Seventeen: Tell me something I don't know about you.

Where to start? Ooh! I know! I'm a guy!

Eighteen: Do you like to dance?

I occasionally dance when I'm at home and hyper, if you can consider what I do 'dancing' of course.

Nineteen: George Bush:

Kill

Twenty: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

It kind of depends on the ethnicity of the mother. I would like her to have a name that reflects her culture.

Twenty One: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Something like Alex or Sam.

Twenty Two: What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?

Oh God, so much to say, so little time. Uh, hi?

I am a HUGE KH fan. 'Nough said.

The number of manga/anime/video games that I like: too many to count.

What door am I to?I don't know. I thought of this name while my brother (another KH fan) was trying to create an account on Club Penguin. He wanted to be Door to the Light, but there wasn't enough room, so he was DoorToThe instead, and now, so am I.

KH Survey

1. Your favorite KH guy?

Tough to choose. Real big tie between the following: Sora, Roxas, Riku, Axel, and later Ven and Terra

2. Your favorite KH girl?

Older Kairi is kinda hot, but it may change to Aqua once she is release. They're both so sexy :)

3. Your least favorite KH guy? Why?

Tough to say once again. Probably Ansem the Wise. What kind of idiot lets experiments on people's hearts go unnoticed? Doesn't he at least check up on his apprentices? He better have a good reason for that.

4. Your least favorite KH girl? Why?

There's not that many to choose from, but probably Namine. In CoM, she was so depressing, although I do not blame her.

5. Favorite World? (Includes both KH1 and KH2)

The World that Never Was, Hollow Bastion/Radiant Garden and Twilight Town. They are all awesome and awesome things happen in those places

6. Least Favorite World?

Atlantis. Aeriel must die! I hate singing! I am a guy, it is understandable.

7. Favorite Weapon? (Includes both KH1 and KH2)

Did someone say WEAPONS?! Anything capable of killing a Heartless I love.

8. Least Favorite Weapon?

Did someone say WEAPON? The struggle club and the wooden sword. They can't kill Heartless.

9. Fav. Summon?

I am not a particular fan of summons. I can beat the game without them and why waste Drive/Magic when I got Forms/Spells?

10. Fav. Form? (a.k.a. Sora's Forms)

Final form. Here's the math behind it: When Sora goes Final, he joins with his nobody, Roxas, and gets all of his powers. Roxas is either equal or about equal to Sora's power and has the ability to control the element of Light. So Final Form is Sora + Roxas = Uberness. Plus, it is so awesome, Sora can float and the Keyblades attack automatically. Super Uberness.

11. Favorite Pairing?

SoraxKairi: They're meant to be

RoxasxNamine: Since SoraxKairi is meant to be, so are they

12. Least Fav. Pairing?

Anything yaoi

13. Any cool crack pairings you've heard of? List 'em.

none that I know of that ain't yaoi

14. Weirdest Pairing(s) You've Ever Heard of?

Any Organization pairing

15. An "Kh-pet-peeves" you have?

Axel's death. That was a terrible way to die. But the death scene was cool (although it was censered). His death also caused the RoxasxSora fight, which brought out Final form and we got a cool Keyblade because of it, so he did not die in vain.

16. Fav. Partner in KH

Riku, he is awesome.

17. Do you believe in the Xemnas/Saix theory?

What theory?

18. Do you believe that Zexion is emo?

No, but my friend who is self-described emo loves him so maybe?

19. Do you believe that Marluxia is gay?

Let's see, he has pink hair, pink flowers, and turned the weapon that represents doom, gloom, and death the most pink. So, what do you think?

20. Do you believe that Kairi is the most annoying character in KH?

What is with all of the Kairi haters? Sure, she does nothing, when she says that she is going to fight, she fights for one scene and never does again, and is relatively useless doesn't mean that she is the most annoying character in KH or does it?

21. If Roxas had to choose between Namine or Olette, who would you root for? Why

Xion, they're best friends like Sora and Kairi

22. What's your theory on KH: Birth by Sleep?

I spoiled Birth by Sleep for myself during exams because I was bored and had nothing better to do. I could post all of the spoilers regarding the endings of all the characters, but I won't because I'm not a jerk, but I will say this: The first cutscene in either Ven's story or the beginning of the game involves him being shirtless. He's supposed to be naked, but the game gave him pants. KH Codes doesn't make any sense at all and yet it's supposed to be deeply linked with BbS and is after KH2. The final episode involves King Mickey writing his letter to Sora.

23. Was Chain of Memories a waste of time?

No, it had a good chunk of story that affected KH2 and it also involved half of Organization XIII dying too. I would not want to fight Marluxia in KH2, 'nough said. What was a waste of time was Re: Chain of Memories. They had to stop making Birth by Sleep in order to make that remake. If it wasn't for Re:CoM, I would probably be playing BbS on my PSP that I will buy sometime around this Christmas.

24. If you had the choice of meeting one character, who would it be?

After years of debating, I have decided Sora. Because Roxas and Sora are so awesome, and since they technically qualify as the same person, I can meet them both.

25. Which KH character do you relate to most?

Sora. Happy-go-lucky attitude and we're both awesome.

26. What's the most embarrassing moment that ever happened to you that had something to do with KH?

The fact that I have this survey on my profile.

27. Have you every cosplayed as a KH character? If so, who? If not, who as?

No, but I am going as either Sora, Roxas, or Ven next Halloween depending on who's the coolest

28. The Funniest Moment in all of KH would be...?

Zexion playing Twister with Demyx. 'nough said.

29. The Hardest Enemy/Boss was?

Sephiroth, but after a while he became too easy. I really want to fight the Lingering Sentiment in KH2 Final Mix + and there's also the secret boss in Birth by Sleep. That guy has a ton of killer attacks but only 1 bar of health. The only way to win is by being super cheap.

30. What was a good edition in KH2 that made it oh-so-addictive?

Just about everything

31. Hayner or Pence?

Huh?

32. Zexion or Marluxia?

What are you asking me?

33. Riku or Roxas?

WHAT ARE YOU ASKING ME?!

34. Roxas or Sora?

Seriously, stop it! I have no idea what you are talking about!

35. Axel or Demyx?

in fetal position Stop it, please stop it

36. Kairi or Larxene?

Kairi, wait what are you asking again?

37. AkuRoku or SoRiku?

Never heard of them, but I do know that they are yaoi and I want no part of that

38. Namixas or Namiku?

If you're asking NaminexRoxas or NaminexRiku, I'll go with the first one

39. Zemyx or AkuRoku?

Never heard of them, and no yaoi

40. SoKai or SoRiku?

SoKai

41. Sea Salt Ice Cream or Paopu Fruit?

Both!

42. Cloud or Leon?

Not this again! Mommy!

43. CloTi or Clerith?

Clerith, I want Tifa's boobs, I mean, Tifa for myself.

44. Simple and Clean or Passion?

Huh?

45. List all of the KH characters you've fallen for. (Including Final Fantasy characters)

None.

46. What crossovers would you like to see with KH?

Anything that is well written and has a good plot line, otherwise, as long as it's not a book.

47. Does anyone in KH look like another character? List them all!

Axel was purposely made to be like Reno

48. Which new KH game can you absolutely NOT wait for?

Now that 358/2 is out, I have no choice but to direct all of my lack of patience to Birth by Sleep

49. Do you like KH1 or KH2 better? Why?

KH2, better graphics and story, but has easier gameplay, which is both good and boring.

50. LAST QUESTION! What makes Kingdom Hearts one of the best games in the world!?

The story line. It's all about the unexplained questions whose answers only lead to more questions.

THANK YOU FOR TAKING THIS SURVEY! PLEASE POST THIS ON YOUR PROFILE WITH YOUR ANSWERS! SPREAD THE KH-FEVER ACROSS FANFICTION.NET

ABOUT CODES:

My Codes story is something that is being co-written by me and two friends. We update the story during free time at school and the rare time that we get together outside of it. We can get a bit of progress done, a chapter a week is an estimated amount of update time.

It is going to be a massive crossover, but only one at a time. It may take some time for us to decide which anime to go to next because, well, there are so many of them. I have already thought of something to do in Fairy Tail, even thought up a nice fight scene between Shadx and Natsu. You will be surprised to see Shadx's powers, he has three stages when he fights someone, so his fight scenes will be epic. Organization XIII will take control of Nirvana and Sora and co. will help Natsu and others destroy it. :D

FYI, the beginning scene in the first chapter is important. How important? I haven't thought of it yet, but I do have an idea or two.

My friend who started this story really likes Zexion, so for the sake of it: let's say that he didn't die in Castle Oblivion. He used his illusion powers to fool the Riku Replica and Axel into thinking he did, much like Aizen did with Ulquirorra.

My friends and I are OCD, so we will try to remain inside both KH and any other anime we go to's plot line.

As for Sora, he will have all KH2FM+ powers at his disposal, including Final Form. For those of you who haven't heard of the KH2 remake, they changed a lot. For example, Sora gets a new drive form that uses no friends and gives him attacks from the previous game. Also, drive forms will not consume friends in all of my KH stories, that is just a gameplay thing and it doesn't need to apply in, well, just about anything besides the game. Also, Anti-Form can and will appear along with all other forms. It will not have as many drawbacks as it had in the games, but it still will have some. Like Sora not being able to morph back into regular form during battle.

Can you guess which OC Organization XIII member I am?

Stories that I plan on writing:

NegimaxKHBbS-Ten years ago Negi's father disappeared, ten years ago Birth by Sleep happened. See the connection? Because apparently, I am the only one who does.

NegimaxKH-Sora meets Negi story. It's going to be more epic than it sounds, I just need to think of it.

NegimaxDBZ-For some reason, no one has crossed these two stories despite the fact that they both use kai, so I will.

NegimaxKH2-Sequel to NegimaxKH, the first two or three chapters can be written now, the rest will have to wait until BbS comes out. It will definitely include this: Negi and the dog (whose name that I cannot spell or remember) will fight Sora and Roxas in the magical world tournament match. It will be epic.

Stories that my friends are writing that I will post on this site:

Death note- I am unaware of the details yet, but it will feature Ixealia from Codes, but not as a Nobody.