So...I'm Sir Kiwi. (And the text is cut off, but the the Joker is saying is: "So you're here to get me off. No double entendres, please." I believe this is from the comic Joker: The Devil's Advocate, but I'm not 100 sure because I don't have 80 to spend on a book...unless it's a text book.)

This is something I'm going to try, I have a 'beta' who reads all my stuff and said person bloody loves them- after my beta fixes my murder of the English language. Trust me it can get really bad, so forgive now- if you can get around it the stories are, so I’m told, worth it.

I’ll do a little slash a little other random stuff and give into my whimsies. Be kind and I’ll do the best I can for you.

5/2/2011-...So hi. What? Don't give me that look!

Okay...so I haven't updated anything for a VERY long time. Sorry. Life got in the way. I just my sweetheart back from Japan and said dear just got out before everything went crazy over there- and sadly we were expecting to be closer this time around but again, we find ourselves in different parts of the country. That, and a good guy I know just let me know that I was sexy. Yeah- I'm over the damn moon because that guy is one fine addition to males. But I'm...not good with emotions...and rather than stay friends with pent up physical wants (and at this point NEEDS) we talked it out and said 'to hell with the deep emotional stuff' we trust each other enough to let the other close and get physical so we're going to see what happens. That and I found glow in the dark condoms that you can use. lightsaber battle? Anyone?...but here again...he's in another part of the country.

So, I'm in the middle of freaky live stuff of the 'what if's' and having to deal with the very real issue of money...or more the lack there of while still working out college. THEN on top of that I'm frustrated in a new ways with no REAL outlet...I do have the internet...which after much debate isn't helping...nor is skype. So after crazy...I'm going there again but in new and not so wonderful ways. But I'm still working on a lot of stuff...I just haven't put any of it up because I haven't had the time/energy/will to do anything 'right'. So...for anyone still out there still reading this new stuff is coming. I just don't know when...sorry...again...



10/27/2010 – Oh god…has it been that long? Oops. So maybe you’re guessing where I’ve been…or maybe you don’t really care at all and if that is the case what are you reading this? But back to me and why there hasn’t been an update for a while. 1) My editor ran off to Japan in the hopes of falling in love with a Yakuza boss, 2) I got committed over a misunderstand and when I had the gull to get upset about it….they…um…didn’t take it too well.

BUT, I did learn something from this. That mainly being: never overact to anything when in a psych ward…or on airplane for that matter.



Quotes:

"This is my timey-wimey detector. it goes bing when there's stuff. Also, it boils an egg at 30 paces; whether you want it to or not...I've learned to avoid chickens." said by Dr. Who

"If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk." Said by Bobby Singer from Supernatural

"You're not going to try and kill me are you? cause that'd be awkward."-Dean from Supernatural

"What's he so mad about all the time?"
"He's not mad"
"Well, he's got a mean way of being happy.

"Oh god, my pants! What did you do with my pants?!"
"I ate them in the throws of passion."
"I've got to find my pants! No pants is the first clue to sex!"

"HAY! Do I hit your kids!...oh...acutely..I do hehehe...KILL HIM!"-Joker

"Why don't you just give up? Go on, roll over and die for once! Be your best friend!"-Joker

"No not really, we have guns and we'll find you.-Sam from Supernatural

"Mom, I have to tell you something...and it isn't as bad as you think."
"Oh really?"
"I'm a professional dominatrix."
"OH GOD!"

"Get your power-glove off her!"

"Look I just think if you get married you should also be ready for a divorce. Like, just in case."-
"Like having a parachute on an airplane?"
"Yep."

"Attention passengers. As you can see the captain has lit the 'Oh shit we're going to die' sign. So if you could make sure your seat-belts are buckled and hold on tight."

"Fine not enough!? Than you should know that soon all of Gotham will suffer some sort of cruel ironic bird related fate at the hands of Penguin!" said by Penguin

"Impressive...now lets go smash it."-Superman

"Just because kittens are born in the hearth oven, doesn't make them muffins."

"You have WHO, tied up WHERE!?"-Joker

“KNEEL BEFORE TODD!!”

"Well...earths doomed. Lets go home."

"Evil beware- we have waffles"-Raven

"Alright Joker, get ready for a bit of Bat-magic!"-Batman

"Dark magic is easy and fun...like legos."-Harry Dresden

"I react badly to fear. I don't usually have the good scenes run or hide- I just try to smash the thing that is making me afraid."-Harry Dresden

"Well, it takes two to...you know...have hardcore sex."

"Eat my sparkles!"

"I'll just step inside this police box and arrest myself."-The Doctor (as in Who)

"Not for nothing, but Cas, the last time person who looked at me like that...well, I got laid."-Dean from Supernatural

"Look, I may not be a planner, or a detail man...or a tax-payer, but when push comes to shove I work- and I get the job done."

"I'm like that pirate captain who, when forced to walk the plank, is going to blow the ship up so everyone's gotta swim."

"When your boss asks what you’re doing over the weekend, the correct answer is neither ‘pills’ nor ‘Irish girls’."

"A fuzzy blanket and a cat may feel very similar when in a dark room. Blankets however, do not have sharp claws."

"Damn it! Shooting people isn't nice! Give peace a chance! Or at least stand still!"-From Freeman's Mind

"God damn kids today! They all have god damn guns and are sniffing god damn glue!"

"Leaping tall buildings in a single bound...I should put on some underwear..."- from the Dresden Files

Books I really like:

-Stephen King's Dark Tower series (you should read them if you have the time and can stand the craziness that is King)

-Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books, (a vampire love story in which vampires brust into flames when they walk into the sun.)

-Batman: Arkham Asylum- A Serious House on Serious Earth by Grant Morrison and Dave McKean ("It's SALT. Why don't you sprinkle some on ME, honey? Aren't I just good enough to EAT?")

-Lord of the Rings series By. J.R.R Tolkien (My childhood bedtime stories)

-Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind (...I've got nothing for this one.)

-Luna by Julie Anne Peters (Bittersweet but good.)

-Succubus Blues by Richelle Mead (...What? Don't look at me like that- it was a fun read.)

-Empress Orchid by Anchee Min (This is a really good book!)

-Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson (Hiro Protagonist- a name you never forget)

-Looking for Alaska by John Green (http://www.youtube.com/user/vlogbrothers)

-The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher