Hia there! Just to tell you I am not osessive about things I just like intensly (read the comment below and then you'll see why I said that!). Okay? Good, now I like intensly Storm Hawks, Anything Japanese, Pokemon and Shakespere! I don't do much apart from read fan fics and write stories and play the piano.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

Amatures built the ark. Professionals built the titanic...

There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

Who ever says 'as easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried to.

A Good Friend

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, " You will die in seven days..."

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

18 Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and clean your teeth.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

16. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!"

17. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match.

18. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!

20 Things To Help You Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcy awwwww, i love him, again, still laughing, artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still), Miracle Jade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books), xXxNyte-chanxXx (Edward Cullen-Twilight duh...Ian MacPhie-Love at Skate series) finger craker (Edward Cullen of course, what type of question is that??) Narrator01 (Jacob Black, Seth Clearwater, Edward Cullen and Emmett Cullen from Twilight, Aladdin from Aladdin, The Beast from Beauty and the Beast, Harry Potter, George, and Ron from Harry Potter, Iggy from Maximum Ride, and numero Uno would probably be Aladd from my story, Tigger and the Rock Hearts.) Diehardstormhawksfan (Aerrow from Storm Hawks), Invader Lana (Aerrow and Finn from Storm Hawks) XXSilverXTwilightXX (Aerrow from Storm Hawks)XXXAnastasiaXXX (Demetri from Anastasia, I think he's soo cute).

think that falling in love with non-existent people like characters in books or movies is perfectly normal. If you agree with me, copy this into your profile.

You Know You Live In 2011 When You..

1.)You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.)You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have an email or facebook or myspace
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.)As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you keep reading this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.)And you were to busy to notice number 5
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.)Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did!

99.5 of teens would cry if the Jonus Brothers were standing on the roof of a twenty story building ready to jump.
But 0.5 of teens would bring a good chair and some popcorn.
If you are one of the 0.5 of teens who would bring a good chair and some popcorn, copy and paste this to your profile

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

_.·-"-·._ This is SnOoPy. Copy and
_/) c_c_(\_ paste him in your profile to
(/(_ O _)\)_ help him gain world
_( ' ')~( ' ')_ domination

If you can't stand Twilight fangirls, copy this into your profile right now! We must rebel I say! rebel!

If you fellow Anti-Twilight fans agree Edward Cullen's like the new freaking Elvis or something like that, then copy this into your profile...

If you peoplez think lolz is better then lol copy and paste this to your profile and add your penname

If you've ever ran into a tree copy and repost this

When you smile at me, I know you must be plotting something that I'm involved in.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best one are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along. The one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

If you think being unique is more important than being cool, repost this.

If you've ever tripped on air repost this

The good news: I was right. The better news: You were wrong.

For me, Crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you are Crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If Fanfiction is to you what Myspace is to other people, copy this onto your profile

Some say the glass is half full, others say it's half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel... of course, it's usually the oncoming train

My mind works like lightning, one flash and then it's gone.

Hate is easy. Love takes courage.

If you're lost in the desert and your canoe loses one wheel, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?
The answer is ice cream because it has no bones.
If you're wondering who wrote this and how much crack are they on, my friend, I don't know the answers to these questions.

If you met my family, you'd understand

Some people are like slinkies, they're good for nothing, but they sure make you laugh when you push 'em down a flight of stairs.

A word to the wise isn't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls

Well-behaved women rarely make history

I am the girl who doesn't go to school dances, and when I do, I sit in the corner and read a book
I am the girl that people look through when I say something
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading,writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face
I am the girl who doesn't spend all her time on Myspace or talking to a friend on her cellphone
I am the girl who hasn't been asked out in a year
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have time to do anymore, who can express herself better with words than with actions, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and repost if you're 12 or older and still watch some shows on Nickolodeon (Once again, not sure if I spelt that right, or if spelt is even a word...)

The shinbone: A device used for finding furniture in a dark room.

Sometimes I wonder "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" then it hits me.

People who say anything is possible, havn't tried to slam a revolving door

Copy and repost this if you walk into doors/walls like normal people drink water

I know it's going to be a bad day when I fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.- I absolutley hate Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, but I love that line!

If you've ever had a crush on an anime character copy and repost this onto your profile

I'm the type of person who walks into a door and apologizes.

If you've ever threatened a computer repost this

Procrastinators unite! ... tomorrow!

I was uncool before being uncool was cool.

chainsaw beats scizzors, paper, AND rock!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question copy and repost

Add your name to the list so the girls who are unique and different can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but they are not alone.
PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, Mikiness-Teh-Goddess, Kawaii-Inu-Mimi, hungrylikethewolf1994, ellaoptimistic, twilight22lover, Bookangel812, Jazzy's Seer, Miss C. Cullen, Ya Sas Artimis, Vic Taylor, Erma Buckles, butterfly1415, NotEveryJulietNeedsARomeo, Kisara the BlueEyesWhiteDragon, talkstoangels77, duckie lover 151, Geassvampire96,

Perfection is overrated.

She's my best friend. Break her heart, and I'll break your face!

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing!

Copy and repost if you've ever been bothered by someone who thought they know you better than you know yourself

A good friend picks you up when you fall down. A best friend picks you up, then trips you again.

If you hate racism repost this.

There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you lose the argument that it becomes weird.

Remember When...
Getting HIGH meant swinging on the playground?
The worst thing you could get from boys was COOTIES?
Mom was your hero
And Dad was the boy you were going to marry?
When your worst enemies were your siblings?
And race issues were about who ran faster?
When WAR was a card game?
And life was simple and carefree?
Remember when all you wanted to do was GROW UP?
Put this on your profile if you're still five on the inside :)

If you know somebody who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile.

I agree with the dictionary
Girls before Guys
Fun before Studying
Friendship before Love

Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky. They were amazingly beautiful, but the only thing I could think of was: What the hell did I do to my ceiling?

If you are one heck of an Anime\Manga freak, put this in your profile and add your name to the list: HarpieAna, Depthmon, Lady Lilane, Rainbow 35, Raakshii, duckie lover 151, Geassvampire96, TemarixShikamaru1996.

Hate: A special kind of love we give to people who suck.

Stress: The body's punishment for overriding the desire to strangle some jerk who deserved it.

If you've ever crashed into a wall when you were not sugar-high repost this

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was blamed.

Boys are like trees, they take fifty years to grow up.

The only sane people are the ones willing to admit they're crazy

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you ever HAVE slapped someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile

If you solemly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...(taken from Sir Spamalots profile)

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

The Review Revolution...

Even if the fic has 10002464 reviews already...

Even if the fic is older than time itself...

Even if it was abandoned a loooooooooooooooooooooong time ago...

Even if the author turned out to be a total psychopath...

Even if the OC is a Sue and the spelling would make a dictionary cry...

I will review every fic I read. What goes around comes around, and more people will review my own fics. I have joined (another) Review Revolution.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No.
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Choose—me or your life?
Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and boy runs after and says..

The reason you don't cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life

If you trip on air copy this into your profile!

If you are a complete mangafreak and you are PROUD OF IT, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SkywardShadow,Hinarulover, Princess of Blah Blah Blah

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (as long as its in a movie or cartoon though)

If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a Nintendo fan to your very core, copy and paste this into your profile.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!)

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile. (yes... TV... the game Atmosphere... stupid gate keeper... -_-)

If you are obbsesed beyond obbsession with ANY anime or manga, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: TurotTrainer,kpizkool, BubblesBoo, SukiraOfTheLight, Morning's Child, SilentSinger948,Hinarulover, Princess of Blah Blah Blah

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

Duct Tape is like the Force. It has a Light side, a Dark side, and it holds the universe together

30 reasons why girls are the best:

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. It took the vilest, most evil creature in the universe to convince Eve to eat the apple but it only took a woman to convince Adam.

Smart-ass Comebacks to those Corny Pick-up Lines:

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life: in your wildest dreams.
HE: Your place or mine?
SHE: Both, you go to yours and I'll go to mine.
HE: Does beauty run in your family?
SHE: Well it obviously doesn't run in yours.
HE: I can see forever in your eyes.
SHE: But all I can see is never in yours.
HE: I looked up beatiful today in the thesaurus and your name was included.
SHE: Thanks! I saw your name next to jerk.
HE: You're like a dream.
SHE: Go back to sleep.
HE: What do I have to give you for one little kiss?
SHE: Chloroform.
HE: I want to give myself to you.
SHE: Sorry, but I don't accept cheap gifts.
HE: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
SHE: Yeah, but this time, don't stop.
HE: I think you're th best looking girl here.
SHE: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then.
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Sure, but only if you buy my girlfriend one too.

If you know your best friend is for life without a doubt, copy this onto your profile.

I Have A Few Questions . . .

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Do stairs go up or down?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

When French people swear do they say “Pardon my English?”

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of ever line ((HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny))

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

That was crazy I hope I didn't brain my damage.

If living means that I must bow down to you guys, I'll happily stand tall and die!

"We were told to kill you on sight."
"I was told where your mate and offspring reside."
"Welcome to America. Enjoy your stay."

I'm no physician, but there appears to be a dagger through my chest.

Bad news Cale. I'm afraid your position as my closest and dearest companion is being replaced by the fellow who just tackled a dragon

A mountain that eats people . . . I want one

I don't do well with authority. Is that going to be a problem?

If I had no sense of humor then I would have committed suicide long ago

If ignorance is bliss then you must be orgasmic

Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

If at first you don't succeed . . . go back and reload the gun.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot
Warning: Survivors will be shot again

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat

There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

If it's stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid

Shoot first, shoot later, shoot again, then when everyone's dead, try to ask a question or two

If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough of it.

I'm not littering . . . I'm donating to the Earth.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser.

Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

Life is like robbing a bank; so worth the while!

You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there

Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there are footprints on the moon

Don't look at me with that tone of voice!

It's a wonder they haven't locked you up yet

He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own

He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness

Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable

Fiction is a lie and good fiction is the truth inside the lie

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

You've gotta die in creative ways.

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a truck. Then the truck backed up and ran them over again.

If it's not nailed down, it's fair game.

To err is human, to forgive is not Company Policy

When in doubt, use brute force. When that doesn't work . . . RUN LIKE HELL!

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

You can't fall off the floor, but you can always pick yourself back up.

Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.

Push something hard enough and it will fall.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn't have been notified.

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum

Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view

Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

Therapist = The/rapist. Scary thought . . .

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people.

'A B C D E F G, I will kill your family.'

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're intoxicated by my very presence

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

GUYS GET IT RIGHT
1. If you like Her ... ASK HER OUT already.
2.When you hug her, put YOUR ARMS around her WAIST and hold her close.
3. when you WALK next to her, get as CLOSE as you can to her.
4. if she's the only one in your life, TELL HER.
5.ALWAYS let her know how much you like her, love her, or think about her.
6. give her presents and cards for no reason, SHE WILL RETURN THE FAVOR... ALWAYS. (you don't have to buy us presents)
7. if she hangs up on you, call her right back!
8.always offer to pay, if she says NO twice, then let her pay but make a deal that you get to pay next time (date offer too!).
9. kiss her lightly every chance you get.
10. look in her eyes and kiss her on the lips, forehead, or nose.
11. if she says she's cold, don't be an idiot and say 'me too' and stand there, give her your jacket or just simply hold her in your arms.
12. don't force her to do anything she's not comfortable with.
13. invite her to dinner or somewhere where you can talk, instead of the movies.
14. try not to ask her if she's mad at you EVERY TIME you speak to her.
15. Always tell her you LOVE her only if you really mean it.
16. DON'T pressure her to do anything she isnt READY to do. When she is ready, she will let you know. She just wants everything to be more SPECIAL and PERFECT. So appreciate what she does do with you.
17. DON'T go and tell your friends anything that happens between you two, cause it will hurt her and make her mad...and it will NEVER happen again.
GUYS- repost if you are going to treat your next gf this way, or do treat her this way.
GIRLS- repost if you think guys should do this
EXTRAS
When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running through her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing, she is processing everything you say, AND EVERYTHING YOU SAY SHE WILL REMEMBER(good and bad).
When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers 'I'm fine' after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, she doesnt want to be annoying, she just wants to make sure you care about her.
When a GIRL says I love you, she means it.
When a GIRL(who loves & or is dating you) says 'i miss you', no one in this world can miss you more than that.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday.(

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her
When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go
When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong
When she ignores you
Give her your attention
When she pulls away
Pull her back
When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word
When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared
Protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up
When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes
don't look away until she does
When she misses you
she's hurting inside
When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away
When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -
Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-
When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-
Tease her and let her tease you back.-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-
Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-
Let her know she's important.-
Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

Luv u all u fan fictioners.