Let me say one thing right off the bat: there is nothing on this page that will interest you. I'm not going to post anything I write up here. The only reason I got an account in the first place was so I could post signed reviews and have new chapter alerts for my favorite stories sent to my e-mail inbox. This account is basically blank (except for that stuff down there that I just didn't have the heart to delete), so you can just click the back button and be on your merry way.

Supposedly) Funny Stuff

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!

If you ever actually read these things, copy and paste this into your profile.

9 Things I Find Annoying:

1. People Who Point At Their Wrist While Asking For The Time... I Know Where My Watch Is Pal, Where The Hell Is Yours? Do I Point At My Crotch When I Ask Where The Toilet Is?

2. People Who Are Willing To Get Off Their Ass To Search The Entire Room To Find The TV Remote Because They Refuse To Get Up And Change The Channel Manually.

3. When People Say, 'Oh You Just Want To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too.' Damn Right! What Good Is Cake If You Can't Eat It?

4. When People Say, 'It's Always The Last Place You Look.' Of Course It Is. Why The Hell Would You Keep Looking After You Found It? Do People Do This? Who And Where Are They? I'm Gonna Kick Their Asses!

5. When People Say While Watching A Film, 'Did You See That?' No Loser, I Spent 12 Dollars To Come To The Cinema And Stare At The Damn Floor.

6. People Who Ask, 'Can I Ask You A Question?' Didn't Really Give Me A Choice There, Did Ya Sunshine?

7. When Something Is 'New And Improved.' Which Is It? If Its New, Then There Has Never Been Anything Before It. If Its An Improvement, Then There Must Have Been Something Before It, So It Can't Be New.

8. When People Say, 'Life Is Too Short.' What The Hell? Life Is The Longest Damn Thing Anyone Ever Does! What Can You Do Thats Longer?

9. When You're Waiting For The Bus And Someone Asks, 'Has The Bus Come Yet?' If The Bus Came, Would I Be Standing Here Dumbass?

(Credit to xFireChickx)

10 Ways To Annoy People

1. Go Into A Grocery Store And Follow Someone Around Asking, "Guess What?"

2. Go Into A Department Store And Sneak Up On Somebody Who Is Talking On A Cell Phone And Whisper, "Who're Ya Talkin' To?" And When They Say, "Hey Dude, Can I Have A Little Privacy Please?" You Say, "No, 'Cause You're In Public, Bud. You Can't Have Privacy In Public!"

3. Do The Old Trick When You Put Dog Crap In A Bag Then Set It On Fire, And Leave It On Somebody's Doorstep. So If They're Going To Try To Stomp It Out, They Have To Get Dog Crap All Over Their Shoe.

4. Prank Call The Same Person Over And Over Asking Them What Color Their Underwear Is.

5. If You're A Guy, You'll Love This One. Go Into Hot Topic And Pretend To Have A Heart-attack, And When A Hot Blonde Does CPR, Start Kissing Her. (Warning: This One Can Get You Slapped And Maybe A Butt-whooping From Her Boyfriend)

6. Go Into A Public Restroom And Use The Toilet Paper As A Mummy Wrap, And Jump Out Screaming, "Boo!"

7. Come Running Out Of A Restroom Saying To Random People, "Whoa Dude! Come See The Size Of The One I Just Made!"

8. Noisily Chew Gum Behind Someone Who Is Trying To Read, And When They Turn Around, Spit It Out And Hold It Out To Them And Say, "Hey, Want Some? It's Watermelon!"

9. Go Into The Toy Section And Leave A 'Used Diaper' On The Ground And Say, "The Dolly Had An Accident."

10. Go Into A Mall At Christmas Time And Pull Off Santa's Beard Screaming, "Holy Cow! It's A Fake! He Ain't Real!"

how to have fun in a department store

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.

You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

You shalt paste this in your profile.

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it