Hey :3

Here's some things for you to ponder…

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does an alarm clock go off when it begins ringing?

Why does cleave mean both split apart and stick together?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Can you cry underwater?

Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

And for your viewing pleasure...

16 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity! : )

1. at lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down

2. page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice

3. every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that

4. put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

6. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat--with a serious face

7. specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk

9 don t use any punctuation

10. sing along at the opera

11. go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

12. put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day

13. five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you are not in the mood

14. Have your friends address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom

15. when the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

16. when leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"