Stuff about me!

Name: Call me Lexxi.(: No, it's not my real name but that's what I'm going by.(:

Age: I'd love to tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

Gender: I'm a girl.

Ya, so my sister introduced me to this site and got me interested in writing. You can check out her stories on her profile, The Indredible Klutz. Seriously check it out.

Hobbies:

-Singing

-Music

-Reading

-Drawing

-Acting

-Competitive Cheer

-Talking. A lot.

Blanket Disclaimer

Nothing except characters of my own invention are mine. I'm just borrowing others for a while to play with! Yay!!!

Why doesn't George of The Jungle have a beard?

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but i think that a gun helps 'cuz if you just stand there and yell 'BANG' you won't accomplish much

That which doesn't kill you will most likely come back and try again...

What's the definition of OK?

What's a hacky and why is it in a sack????

9 Things I Don't Like

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their but to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why in the world would you keep looking after you've found it?

5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor.

6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say 'life is short'. What the freak?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I still be standing here? I don't think so.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be mean.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I must be a SLUT.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLOURS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in A BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be snobby.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a wimp.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOUR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be over controlling.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs/nuts.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IMMATURE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm A WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. and I MUST worship the devil.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be pedantic.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm INSECURE so I MUST be an attention whore.

I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I like PUNK MUSIC, so I MUST be a FREAK.

I LOVE MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I AM FRIENDS WITH A CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press, no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE TO ANYONE.(:

The MR Pledge

I promise to remember Max, whenever I must lead.

I promise to remember Fang when I would rather not speak.

I promise to remember Iggy, whenever something explodes.

I promise to remember Nudge when someone just keeps talking.

I promise to remember Gazzy when it just plain stinks.

I promise to remember Angel when someone manipulates.

I promsie to remember Jeb when someone is a traitior. I promise to remember Ari whenever life's not fair.

I promise to remember Lissa and Brigid when they are a player.

I promise to remember these, cross my heart, hope to sing, and take a chainsaw to my wing.