ArchangelJake
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Joined 09-30-11, id: 3299346, Profile Updated: 10-11-12
Author has written 2 stories for Call of Duty, and Zombieland.

I am Russian, and I hate stereotyping, so get a chance to know me before you hate me.
I am Russian, I love kick boxing and it's a great sport, and I like to kickbox when I have gloves.
so if you hate russians, well to bad, da? 'Cause I'm here to stay!

I am heavy fighter. I don't go looking for trouble, I just defend myself.

So, Dosvidanya!

I am Russian, so I must kill anyone I see who isn't Russian.
I am fit, so I MUST eat only healthy food.
I am into Fighting, So I must get into truouble.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm MEXICAN, I I MUST steal everything I don't have.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.
I DON'T DO FASHION so I MUST be poor.
I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that".
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy.
I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK so I MUST be a stuck up bitch.
I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser.(Enjoy it while it lasts theres no second chances.)

I like DANCING, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm a COUNTRY GIRL/BOY so I MUST drink beer.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I WRITE SAD POETRY so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a BIG DICK/WIDE PUSSY.
I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
Im a girl and I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
Im a girl and I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.(Fuck yeah I'm Russian get over it.)
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.(I'm not insecure I just like to look good.)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-achiever.
I act freaking CRAZY so i must be craving attention.
I LAUGH ALL THE TIME so i must be a party girl.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm british, so I MUST be either a football (soccer) obsessed drugee/alcoholic or a rich and snobby with high society english.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I GO TO A NEEK SCHOOL, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a neek, so I MUST not swear or talk about sex.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.(I am not weak I love to work out.)
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm OVERWEIGHT so I MUST eat too much.
I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I MUST be a VAMPIRE.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I'm not the MOST POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE and IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and/or SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue.
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.(No just see how much people run there mouths.)
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I don't act DEPRESSED so I MUST be weird.

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Fallen Angels Make The Best Lovers by AmericanHorror420 reviews
'I had come to aquire a love for that man that I didn't know the name of, and I knew that I would never see him in person again. You see, he was an angel of God, and he was to stay in Heaven with Him, making it impossible for me to love another.' MxOC
Legion - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,750 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/5/2011 - Published: 11/11/2011 - Michael - Complete
Not Just And Examination by AmericanHorror420 reviews
Pulled aboard the HMS Surprise, Abigail Winston is in need of Stephen's assistance. When her shirt is removed for him to examine her, lust begins to take over. Abigail is willing, and Stephen has been lonely on the ship for a long time... *One Shot* SxOC
Master and Commander - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,254 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/16/2011 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dragon's Breath reviews
I give all rights to Infinity Ward for the CoD Modern Warfare 3 later chapters will start blending with story, please my friends enjoy and review
Call of Duty - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,703 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/22/2012 - Published: 10/5/2011
Survival of Trust reviews
Alot of OCs i dont own zombie land rated m for a reason later chapters will explain
Zombieland - Rated: M - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 663 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/29/2011