hey, I'm Lauren.

I haven't done many fanfics, but this is a window into my life:

I live in Frankston, Victoria, Australia. I'm a twi-hater, i can't stand the fact that twilight doesn't have real vampires or good fight scenes or the proper names for things. i love vampire academy and most things concerning cryptozoology. don't know what that is? there's this fan-dangled, brand-bloody-spanking new thing called GOOGLE! LOOK IT UP! anyway, I'm a bit of a smart-arse and i like stand-up and Australian comedy because it's funny. i am a confusionist. it is different from following Confucius, because i worship the cosmos, Douglas Adams, and all things confusing to people who have a narrow mind and are conformist. one question i pose to those people: WHAT IS NORMAL? I HAVEN'T HEARD OF THAT DISEASE, AND I DON'T WANT IT!

now that I have scared most people off, the rest, please read and review any of my work, and keep thinking crazy thoughts!

remember: "insane" is the normal people's way of saying "fun"!

who'd a thunk it, I'm encouraging disturbation of the world. is that even a word? meh, is now!

oh, and I wish I was a ranga, they have cool hair! they should be proud of it.

one last parting phrase and then I shall stop rambling: I am not racist, I hate everyone equally.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS CAN KISS THE DARKEST PART OF MY LILLY-WHITE...ooops, sorry mum.

Choose Your Favorite Characters from Movies/Books/Tv Shows etc. and do this!

1.Damon Salvatore (tv version) / 2. Rose Hathaway / 3. Anna Valerious / 4. spike / 5. tenth doctor / 6. Willow Rosenberg / 7. lissa dragomir / 8. dimitri belikov / 9. illyria / 10. willhemina harker (the League version) / 11. annabeth / 12. Captain Jack Sparrow

1.Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic before?

nup. hmmmmm, that'd be interesting...

2. Do you think four is hot? How hot?

i spose, but he's too old.

3. What would happen if 12 got 8 pregnant?

hmmmmm, that's not really possible, but...

4. Do you recall any fic about Nine?

maybe, not sure.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

hmmmm, not really.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

tenth doctor and illyria, definately!

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

run, fast.

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

anna valerious comes across a time-travelling jewess witch, what's the first thing she does? throw a sword at her. Oh!

the fun times to be had!

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

not that i know of...

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

somehow i don't see lissa and jack getting together.

11. What kind of plot would you use for Four to de-flower One?

the pair of them are players, and over a hundred years old... unless will the bloody meets a human

damon before katharine shows up...

12. Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

some of them might...

13. Does anyone on your friends list write Eleven?

maybe... give her some time.

14. Would anyone on your friend's list read Two/Four/Five?

there isn't any. and if there was, i'm sure i would!

15. What might Ten scream at a moment of passion?

i'm not sure i want to find out.

16. If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

your guardian angel, by red jumpsuit apparatus

17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

warning: alcohol intake, crude language and a very confused witch can be a potent mix. especially when willow starts on the rum...

18. What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

they'd be too busy trying to kill each other.

19. How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?

it's kinda complicated.

20. How Emo is Seven?

well, you would be too if you found out you specialized in some freaky element after all the family you had left died in a car crash that also killed your best friend before you brought her back to life. and also, that freaky element does make you depressed.

21. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

Damon and Lissa are in a happy relationship until Illyria runs off with Lissa. Damon, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night-stand with Annabeth and a brief unhappy affair with Jack Sparrow, then follows the wise advice of the tenth doctor and finds true love with Anna Valerios.

22. What title would you give this story?

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!?!?

23. The end, by the way, I set you up on a date with Two!

I'm cool with that. straight with exceptions.

(STOLE THE REST OF TEH QUESTIONS FROM PENMASTER51! LUFFLES TO HER!! )

24. How would you feel if Seven/Eight were in a fight? man, i wonder who'd win? he's a badass, but she can just compell him into giving up.

25. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours? i wanna ride in the TARDIS!

26. How would you react if you saw (8) and (11) in a closet together with a rubber ducky? close the door, tape it up with caution tape and tell no one to go in there or else they'll get the shit beaten outta them.

27. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever? she does it to everyone, who cares?

28. If you saw (9) and (3) in bed together, what would you do? walk out. fast.

29. What would you say if you found out that (12) was a rapist? not. suprised.

30. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find (10) rummaging through your stuff. What do you do? I'd tell her to turn into bats and then bugger off outa my room!

31. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world? he's a vampire, it wouldn't work. and damon? optimistic?????? drugs.

32. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now? naw, that's cute! i'd tell him i'm gratefull but i would rather spike to will.

33. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say? just magic those tangles out, or go buy your own!

34. (7), (9), and (4) have banded together at 3 in the morning and starts to sing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is the first thing you think? well, i'd be dreaming about spike, lissa and illyria singing "i was gonna clean my room, but then i got high, ooooh oooh ooooooh..."

35. (2) and (11) are your teachers. What would you do? listen and learn, because rose would beat the shit outta me, and annabeth would send me down to see hades for detention. *shudder, i don't know which is worse.