If you don't have copy and paste icons, then you aren't living. Yes, you can take these if you want. And yes, i think they are awesome.

People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.

Don't knock on Death's door. Run up, ring the doorbell, and run away. He hates that.

It takes 42 muscles to frown and 28 to smile, but it takes only 4 to reach out and punch someone in the face.

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friend's head.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Don't piss me off or I'll eat you.

Don't mess with me, I've got a stick.

One day, we will look back at this, laugh, and nervously change the subject.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then, you find the person whose life has given them vodka and have a party.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back, relax, and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Right now I'm having amnesia and de ja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

"Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that."

"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with."

Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together."

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable."

"Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either."

"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you."

"Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls."

"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."

"You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary."

"Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door."

"I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on."