Yo, this is the oldspiceweasel, formerly the review weasel, formerly nothing before that. I spawned into existence from a combination of memes and the wishes of small children, coalescing into the form of a devilishly handsome and charming person. I quite obviously am a man of high society that has ALL of the money. Nahhhh, just kidding. I have only some of the money. A very small sum. See what I did there? Some/Sum? No? You suck.

I don't tend to take fanfiction seriously. If I'm not feeling too lazy and actually review something I'm probably either really impressed or wondering what dark god dreamed your horrible mistakes into existence. Don't PM me about stuff, by the way. I can absolutely assure you it won't get through. Yeeeeeessss...feed me your impotent silence. I don't write fanfiction either, I'd rather focus on my original works. Seen some neat ideas here, though.

Things I like:

Tacos. Everyone should like Tacos. Tacos rule.

Your Mom. Tell her I said hello. Her cookies were delicious. So was she.

Well written fanfiction and original fiction. Remember kids, grammar is NOT just a cracker.

Productive, non-toxic discussion forums where people are reasonable and pfffffhaaaaa!!!! I couldn't keep a straight face typing that. Those don't exist!

Ponies. No, not in the weird way. In the "holy shit this show actually doesn't suck" way. Blame my younger relatives. It's their fault.

Old Cartoon Network. Back when cartoons weren't vehicles for millenial views and badly written meme jokes. I'm looking at you, We-bare-bears. Cut that out.

Tridents. Everyone should have a trident. Ask Chris Bucholz.

Big butts, and I cannot lie. All you other brothers can't deny.

Ike. Them commies won't take mah murrica.

List based humor. See above and below.

My new car. Her name is Veronica.

Gardening! Where else can a white guy wear a sombrero without being called culturally insensitive?

The Big Bang Theory. Chuck Lorre, just let us be free of your gradually more crappy programming. Please?

There is no last thing I like. The list will grow.

Things I dislike:

Fanfiction writers that think they can do better than the original authors. Seriously, those guys gotta chill.

People who think that those who don't write fanfiction have no right to make negative critiques. Once again, chill out peeps.

Pears. Never let me eat pears, I HATE pears!!

Your pet cat. It probably thinks that it's better than me. It's probably also plotting against you. You should totally get a ferret.

When people put in shit like "Oh my kami" or "Kami damn it" or something like that. NOBODY SAYS THAT. EVEN IN JAPAN. Stop torturing our eyes!

Turtles. They know what they did.

Stat Sheets. They generally do nothing but incite nitpicky flamewars.

When people call fanfic writers Authors. You're an author when you write something original. Fanfiction is just your take on the original work of someone else.

Haiku. It makes me want to throw my sofa at someone.

The number 7. It looks like an upside down check mark.

Weeaboos. I don't think I need to explain myself on this one, I'll leave that to mai waifu-chan-sama-senpai-sensei desu yooooooo!!!

When fanfic writers ask for donations on . You guys realize that could get the site in trouble if a publishing or media company finds out, right? It's not a big stretch for someone to say you're profiting off their content if YOU LITERALLY ASK FOR DONATIONS IN YOUR FANFICTION CHAPTERS.

Hellish dystopian worlds with no glimmers of hope. They're too predictable.

Politicians. Nobody needs this one explained, right? We watch the news. We know they're really lizard people.

There is no last thing I dislike. You'll know when the list grows.

These are some interesting ideas I've thought of, but am too lazy to write, so feel free to play with them:

Saints Row Crew meets the Justice League. Hilarity and shenanigans ensue.

The adventures of Old Spice Guy in Equestria.

The Holy Fail War: 7 of the lamest and most bumbling characters in all of fiction try and kill each other. All of them must continually and hilariously fail. My lineup is below.

Saber: Dave the Barbarian.

Lancer: Grim (Billy and Mandy)

Archer: Some Imperial Stormtrooper

Caster: Tim the Enchanter

Rider: Inspector Gadget

Berserker: The Tasmanian Devil

Assassin: Boba Fett

Dresden and Cons: Harry Dresden/John Constantine buddy cop fic, featuring Albus Dumbledore as the overstressed wizard police captain that thinks they're loose cannons.

Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Awesomeness Challenge: Harry goes to a very different hogwarts with very different professors. Snape must be a slick master of devastating one liners that continually delivers awesomely sick burns to Harry Potter, and students must always react to said burnitude with "OOOOOOHHHHH, BUUUUURRRRRRN!!!" One professor MUST be richard from LFG, and voldemort must be a dangerously savvy wizard constantly fed up with his hilariously incompetent crew of minions the entire time.

Blasting Off: Louise summons team rocket, who immediately see her villainous potential and work tirelessly to make her a proper subordinate of giovanni's organization.

RWBY meets the transformers: "Transforming weapons, you say?"

CAPTAIN PLANET VS. GODZILLA: The power to destroy Tokyo is YOURS!

Jaune-Jaune's Bizarre Adventure: In which Jaune is not an Arc. He's the latest in a long series of JOESTARS! LET THE POSING AND MUSCLES COMMENCE!!! Featuring guest appearances by Major Alex-Louise-Armstrong.

My Little Tony: Friendship is Tragic: In which Tony Stark is made to live in equestria and hates every second of it.

The Dragonborn goes to Krynn: For this one, just play the dragonborn totally straight. An overpowered nord that flings people off of mountains and plays both sides of good and evil for his own benefit whilst stealing every magic artifact that isn't literally bolted down. So basically, a lunatic. Make him a badass if you want, but insanity is gonna be the real kicker here.

Avatar: The Epic Bender: In which aang didn't run away from the weight of his responsibilities...exactly. He was just taking a vacation. A long, drunken vacation. DRUNK! Aang and his merry band of accomplices to grand larceny and mass property damage make life difficult for Zuko, the Fire Nation, and really just everybody, with the power of alcohol and inappropriate uses of waterbending.

More may pop up soon. If you wanna use it, go ahead. It's not like I own any of this crap.

Hell, technically speaking you could literally take anyone's ideas on this site and use them. I mean, what are they gonna do, claim copyright infringement? Plagiarism? I'm sure the content creators their fics are based off would get a kick out of that. There's something to think about, eh? Ehhhh?