Hi I'm Erin and I just got this fanfiction profile and I love reading fanfics so hopefully I'm good at writing them. I love The Last Airbender and Twilight.

Funny Packages

On a Jolly Rancher wrapper: May become lodge in your throat (Well, no shit Sherlock!) On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:!...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash!!...)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and put this on your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle)...

Bella: "It's...a cow."
Edward: "No, Bella. It's a dinosaur. Of course it's a cow!"
Bella: "You...want me to eat it?"
Edward: "No. I want you to throw a stick at it and see if it brings it back."
Bella: "Feeling a little sarcastic today?"
Edward: "Just a bit."

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as uniquie, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you believe pollution should be punishable by death put this on your page!

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If your profile is in a never ending state of change, copy and past this onto your profile

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you like Sharpies, penguins, cookies, close friends, MSN, AIM, and the internet, copy this to your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Sparrowflight, Frostpaw, Crazy Rayne, XxPoisoned DreamsxX, XxInSaNiTyxIsxEsSeNtIaLxX, MidnightEmberMisery

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile!

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile.

-If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it even longer!

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

No boy is worth crying for, and the one that is won't make you cry. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, Mysterious Miracle, Frostpaw, Crazy Rayne, XxPoisoned DreamsxX, XxInSaNiTyxIsxEsSeNtIaLxX, MidnightEmberMisery

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried when Fred Weasley died ((In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows )) and are not afraid to admit it, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to this list: Littlewhisker, CrimsonnightGryffindorLoyal, Frostpaw, Crazy Rayne. (I LOVED FRED, DAMMIT.)XxPoisoned DreamsxX(ME TOO!), XxInSaNiTyxIsxEsSeNtIaLxX (It's all about FRED!), MidnightEmberMisery (and her brother was very sad as well)

BEST FRIENDS N FRIENDS:

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BESTFRIENDS:Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall

BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain

BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected

BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS:Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS:Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"

BEST FRIENDS: are sreaming and running with you

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap.

Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.

I thougt this was really sweet!

If i dont call you
Its because i'm waiting for you to call me

When i walk away from you mad
Follow me

When i stare at your mouth
Kiss me

When i push you or hit you
Grab me and dont let go

When i start cussing at you
Kiss me and tell me you love me

When im quiet
Ask me whats wrong

When i ignore you
Give me your attention

When i pull away
Pull me back

When you see me at my worst
Tell me i'm beautiful

When you see me start crying
Hold me and tell me everything will be alright

When you see me walking
Sneak up and hug my waist from behind

When i'm scared
Protect me

When i lay my head on your shoulder
Tilt my head up and kiss me

When i grab at your hands
Hold mine and play with my fingers

When i tease you
Tease me back and make me laugh

When i dont answer for a long time
reassure me that everything is okay

When i look at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When i say that i like you
I really do more than you could understand

When i bump into you
bump into me back and make me laugh

When i tell you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When i look at you in your eyes
dont look away until i do

When i miss you
i'm hurting inside

When you break my heart
the pain never really goes away

When i say its over
i still want you to be mine

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think

LADIES don't start fights,we FINISH them.

A good girl is a bad girl whos never gotten caught.

"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the heck alone.

Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man "Is this seat empty?"
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "Your place or mine?"
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "But I don't know your name."
Woman "That's in the phone book too."

Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man "I know how to please a woman."
Woman "Then please leave me alone."

Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I can tell that you want me."
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man "Your body is like a temple."
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?

If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer,GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY CHERRIOS.

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda"

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying,But at the same time funny, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile (mabye...)

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

Girls are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree

all girls copy and paste this to your page

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you20threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet alot of girls do too.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you X~love~X HATE him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you think that Twilight is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight is stupid, copy & paste this into your profile.

If you think Rap music stands for RETARDS ATTEMPTING POETRY, copy & paste.

All I want is a gorgeous, immortal, cold, silver Volvo owner that sparkles in the sunlight and bites me…is that too much to ask for? Yes, yes it is. THEY ARE HEARTLESS LEECHES!

Blondes may have more fun, but Edward prefers Brunettes!

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916!

Carlisle Cullen: Smexier Than You Since Sometime In The 1600s!!

If you think that disclaimers are the most annoying things EVER Copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD put this on your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile

If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy and paste this into your profile. maybe but jake's not a prep and he travels in pack…

98 percent of teenagers has or do smoke pot. (huh?) If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, and never will, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the Internet population has a MySpace. If you're part of the 2 percent who can resist stupid fads, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.),Phish Tacko (Marty McFly, Klaus Baudelaire, Alex P. Keaton) Sugary Snicket (Danny Phantom/Fenton in my early FFN days, Durza, Dexter Morgan, Sirrus) FanofSnicket (Klaus Bauldalaire!!), MissVioletBaudelaire13(Peter Pevensi from Narnia!!) Alex-Frain (Hermionie Granger :S, Bella Swan, Violet Baudelaire), FreakyLilBrownEyedGirl (Jacob Black, Emmett Cullen -because who doesn't love buff dudes?), MidnightEmberMisery (Dimitri Belikov, Adrian Ivashkov, Jacob Black)

This is a true story:

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless piece of s!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)

I want child abuse to stop! and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile Thank you toflamin. guitarist for posting this in your profile and for letting others read it.

My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked in the closet
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid
I'm wishing to cry
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door
He's already locked it
And I wish to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken
"I'm sorry!" I scream
But its much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Sarah
I am but three
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me

CHILD ABUSE...MAKE IT STOP!! Please, be aware that child abuse happens everyday, and it isn't just physical, it's emotional too, and sometimes that hurts more than a beating from your parents. Physical abuse scars you on the outside and that pain will go away, but emotional abuse scars you on the inside and the pain of being called worthless never goes away. So please, help stop the abuse.

95 percent of teenagers care about popularity. If you like pretzels, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a fan of Jacob Black, save a dog, adopt a werewolf

• FOR TEAM JACOB ONLY Jacob Black: 108.9°F of pure hotness. ~Unknown

• My friend texted me once and asked, "What does IDK mean?" So, I replied with, "I don't know." She texted back, "OMG! Nobody knows!" ~Unknown

• Love is when you're offered a date with the hottest guy in the history of forever, but choose the sweetest. ~Unknown

• If you love someone with all your might, you'll fall head over heals just for the sake of them. If someone loves YOU will all their might, they'll pick you back up and hand you a band-aid. ~Unknown

• Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. ~James Dean

• A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. ~Coco Chanel

• Don't worry about the world ending today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles Schulz

• All you need is love. But, a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. ~Charles Schulz

• Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much. ~Helen Keller

• And they lived happily ever after. ~Varied

• Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~Gandhi

• Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. ~Muhammad Ali

• Dancing is like dreaming with your feet. ~Constanze

• Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude. ~Ralph Marston

• Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with the way we live, what is happening. ~Coco Chanel

• I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying. ~Michael Jordan

• I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship. ~Louisa May Alcott

• In doing something, do it with love or don't do it at all. ~Mahatma Gandhi

• In the cookies of life, friends are the chocolate chips. ~Unknown

• It isn't hard to be good time to time in sports. What is tough, is being good every day. ~Willie Mays

• Just living isn't enough… One must have freedom, sunshine, and a little flower. ~Hans Christian Anderson

• Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can. ~Danny Kaye

• Life is the art of drawing without an eraser. ~John William Gardner

• My friends have told the story of my life. ~Helen Keller

• One shoe can change your life. ~Cinderella

• Peace begins with a smile. ~Mother Theresa

• Sports do not build character. They reveal it. ~John Wooden

• Sports is the toy department of human life. ~Howard Cosell

• Team guts always beat individual greatness. ~Bob Zuppke

• The doors of wisdom are never shut. ~Benjamin Franklin

• The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

• The only way to have a friend is to be one. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

• There is nothing on this earth to be prized than true friendship. ~Saint Thomas Aquinas

• We are all worms. But I do believe that I am a glow-worm. ~Sir Winston Churchill

• Where words fail, music speaks. ~Hand Christian Anderson

• Wherever you go, go with all your heart. ~Confucious

• Winners never quit and quitters never win. ~Vince Lombardi

• You must do something to make the world more beautiful. ~Miss Rumphius

• Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.

• LADIES don't start fights,we FINISH them.

• A good girl is a bad girl whos never gotten caught.

• "Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."

• Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

• Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the heck alone.

1o R34S0NS T0 L0VE J4C08 BL4CK

10. He didn't leave.
9. He fights for the girl he loves.
8. He has a pulse.
7. He has a sense of humor.
6. He isn't a bloodsucker.
5. He isn't icy cold.
4. He is a good friend.
3. He doesn't give up easily.
2. He runs around half-naked all the time.
1. He looks freakin' hot without a shirt on. :D

Don't save a wolf. SAVE TAYLOR!

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

If you can’t appreciate Edward Cullen, please leave the vicinity.

If you plan to name your kids Alice, Jasper, Edward, Bella, Rosalie, or Emmett copy and paste this into your profile.

If when you have a girl, you'd consider naming her Isabella, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a boy, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile!

Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name: Moonstar of FireClan, Flamestar211, Firestar's Gal, Poppyleaf, vampirechick321, Topaz Eyes Sing My Lullaby,cullendrive, MidnightEmberMisery

- I'm the kind of person who laughs at a joke three times. Once when it's said, once when it's explained to me, once five minutes later when I finally get it.

If you like stuff that you are too young for AND stuff you are too old for, copy this to your profile

If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're covered in condensation, copy this to your profile.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, Living in Dreams, Twilighter4Evr (and some of Twilighter4Evr's friends)

Ten things to see before you die

1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.

2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.

3. Homer say something intelligent.

4. Taxes disappear.

5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.

6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children.

7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.

8. Wrestling people forget their moves.

9. The coyote catch the road runner.

10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing.

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If whenever you see a sliver Volvo you run down the street screaming, "EDWARD!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are always trying to tell you to shut up but you dont, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you to stop you talking about a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

My night in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid a--.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you

People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual. FEAR ME!

"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE."

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

"We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."-Unknown

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." --Unknown

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook

“You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” - Unknown

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"

"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again

"Here's a toast -- To those who challenge us to mind games, but forget to bring their equipment!"-

find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Smile. It confuses people.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

The world is cruel... get used to it!

Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!!

A day without sunshine is like... night.

A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"

A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiney?

Behold the mighty...chihuahua?

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thnaks for embracing it.

she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town.
she said that she wanted to stay up all night & drink- he gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated pepsi & said ‘drink up’
she said that she wanted to shoot herself- he gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger & aimed it at her face.
she said that she wanted to cut herself up- he took a polaroid of her, handed it to her along w. scissors & had her cut it up.
she said that she wanted to see her blood- he took her to get her earz pierced.
she said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep- he had her watch a sad romantic movie before bed.
she said that she wanted to be alone- he gave her a nametag that sad "my name is: ALONE."
she said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always; he asked when he wasnt.

"It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone."

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate."

"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?"

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the w's.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life. (Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen, Jacob Black, Dimitri Belikov, Stephan Salvatore, Damon Salvatore, Christian Ozera, Adrian Ivashkov)

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.

~19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity~
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Drugs".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go"

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know, copy and paste this into your profile.

~98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile~

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you are part of the small percentage of people in this world that still have honor and morals copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wondered how Demyx got into the Organization, copy and paste this in your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, put this in your pro.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

I solemnly swear that anyone who flames my stories will get a flame back. FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! BEAT OUT THE FLAMES! If you agree (or hate flamers), copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, why aren't two mooses meese, or if two foots are feet, why arn't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, but I'm just random!(but I'm crayzee too) If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you LOVE sleep, copy and past this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you like sugar as much as I do, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like ice cream as much as I do, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy and paste this into your profile already!!

If you think that I'm making you think too much, copy and paste this to your profile.

Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy and paste this message and my symbol for equality to your profile.

If you wanna travel when you get older, copy and paste this into your profile!

No one's perfect. If you know and like that your not perfect, copy and paste this to your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. the other 70 either drop out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are on of the 30 that KNOW that your going to college put this on your profile.

If you think Organization XIII are the best bad guys EVER, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love someone who doesn't exist to pieces put this on your profile.
If you have ever bawled over your favorite character dying in a movie, video game, or book, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you're one of those people that are reading my profile right now and you're not just aimlessly scanning over it, post this in your profile.
If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this on your profile
If you'v been on the computer for hours on end reading multiple fanfictions copy and paste this on your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems (only to my close friends)

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?

Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"?

Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room?

If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If con is the opposite of pro is Congress the opposite of progress?

Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?

~19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity~
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Drugs".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go"

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

ONLY IN AMERICA...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures

Controversial Issues:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage.

╔╦╦╦╗Post this
╠╬╬╬╣Chocolate bar
╠╬╬╬╣On your page
╠╬╬╬╣if you are a
╚╩╩╩╝† Mello fan †

-Death Note Quiz-

1. Who are your favourite Death Note characters?

L, Near, Mello, Matt

2. Name your favourite Death Note pairings.

L/Near, Matt/Mello, Matt/Near, Mello/Near

3. Are you a Yaoi Death Note fan or a Hentai Death Note fan?

YAOI

4. Ever cosplayed Death Note characters?

No, but I will in less than a week! As L! On L's Bday!

5. List your collection of Death Note junk and merchandise, if any:

Currently, sadly, none. But that will change soon.

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Death Note character?

Near! or L!

7. Near/Matt or Mello/Near?

Near/Matt

8. Light/Misa or L/Misa?

Light/Misa

9. Do you think Matt's death was fair?

No! I don't really think anyone's death was fair except Misa and Light.

10. Why do you think Mello helped Near out in the end?

Beacaue he wuvs him lol.

11. Do you support Kira's theory in making the world better by using the Death Note and killing off the bad people?

No.

12. Your favourite Wammy kid?

Near.

13. Are you Pro-Kira or Anti-Kira?

Anti-Kira.

14. Have you seen all Death Note episodes so far?

No :(

15. Have you read all the chapters so far?

No :(

16. Do you believe Misa has ADD?

Probably

17. Sub or Dub?

Dub

18. Pro-Misa or Anti-Misa?

Anti-Misa

19. Lidner = Near's side or Mello's?

Near

20. Do you even know who BB is?

Duh

21. L = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd?

Sexy

22. Which character would be the best cross dresser?

Mello

23. Mikami = Weird or Awesome?

Idk

24. Which character would be the best OOC?

Near

25. Do you like Death Note fanfics?

Yes

26. Do you write Death Note fanfics?

Yes

27. Do you like lemons?

Yes

28. Do your parents know about the Death Note characters?

sorta

29. Have you watched the Death Note Abridged Series?

Not yet

30. Have you seen The Death Note fanflashes?

Yes

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Death Note?

No. I was hooked by others

32. Have you ever been drawing Death Note in school and has someone recognized it?

I cannot draw, but if I could probably noone but my friends would recognize it.

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Death Note and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?'

No

34. Has Death Note affected your school life and grades?

No

35. Are you broke thanks to Death Note?

I will be

36. Do you want to own a Death Note?

I'm buying one soon

37. Do you wish the series had ended differently?

Yes! Only the people I hated should've died

38. Do you draw Death Note fanart?

No

39. Is Mello still sexy, even though half his face is covered with his scar?

Of course

40. Do you have a Death Note OC?

Yes

41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Death Note has taken over your life?

Just a little... or a lot

-The Big Death Note Fan Survey-

Who is your favorite male character and why?

L or Near

Who is your favorite female character and why?

None. They all suck

Who is your favorite Shinigami (God of Death) and why?

Ryuk

Do you believe "Light Yagami" used the Death Note for good or bad?

Bad.

Do you wish the Death Note could really exist?

Kinda if the people existed too- except Light and Misa

Which Death Note looked better, "Light's" or "Misa's"?

Light's

Do you believe that Shinigami and Death Notes really exist?

Maybe...

Are you for or against Kira and why?

AGAINST! He got all the hot guys killed

Which is the best looking Shinigami?

Ryuk

Which is the worst looking Shinigami?

Rem

How did you feel when "Gelus" sacrificed his own life to save Misa?

Why he so stupid?!?!?!?!

Would you trade half of your remaining lifespan for the Shinigami Eyes?

No

What would you do if you saw a Shinigami, would you be scared or stay calm?

I guess we'll see if it ever happens

-General-

Have you watched the Death Note Anime and Movies?

Somewhat

What did you enjoy the most, the Anime, Books or Movies?

The movies. Especially when L goes ''Bang!''

Have you read all 13 books of Death Note including the Novel?

No. Read the novel and some of the manga

Do you think they found the right Japanese actors/actresses for the movies to portray the Death Note Characters?

Yes

Who is your favorite Japanese actor/actress in the Death Note movies?

Kenichi Matsuyama

Who do you think is the most Intelligent, "Light" or "L"?

L duh

The most funniest character?

L

The most well dressed character?

Near... He rocks his pjs

The best in the Kira Investigation Team?

L

The most worst character?

Misa... skank

-Name twelve of your favorite Death Note characters in any order-

1) BB

2) L

3) Near

4) Matt

5) Mello

6) Sayu Yagami

7) Naomi Misora

8) Ryuk

9) Light

10) Watari

11) Rem

12) Misa

-1) Have you read a five/ten fic before?

Um... no

2) Do you think three is hot? How hot?

YESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Super hot!

3) What would happen if six got one pregnant?

They'd has some s'plainin' to do

4) Do you recall any good fics about nine?

No.

5) Would seven and two make a good couple?

No.

6) Four/eight or four/nine?

Matt/Light

7) What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?

I'd cry.

8) Make a summary of at least twenty words for a two/six fic.

Meh

9) Is there such a thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?

No.

10) Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.

No.

11) What kind of plot would you use for a three/eleven fic?

None

12) Does anyone on your friends list read number seven het? What about nine slash?

No. Yes.

13) If you wrote a songfic about number nine, what song would you chose?

I would never write a songfic about him in the first place.

14) If you wrote a two/three/six fic, what would the warning be?

Probably M... shamefully.

15) What pick-up line might eight use on five?

''Got any apples?"

16) Challenge: Write a drabblefic for ten/eight.

No!

17) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Ew!

18) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

A plot of extreme pervertedness

19) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?

No.

20) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Maybe...

21) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

No.

22) Would you write Two/Four/Five?

Yesh!

23) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

24) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Umm... Yesterday

25) What is Six's super-secret kink?

I have no idea

26) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?

No.

27) If Three and Seven get together, who tops?

Near...

28) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Two." What title would you give this fic?

Light's A Skank

29) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

EW! I'd feel like vomiting.