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 Author has written 1 story for Ouran High School Host Club. Please read this: This is a true story. All schools have a class clown, someone that gets on everyones nerves and that no one likes. There was one of these boys in this one school. Nobody liked him at all. He had no friends, the teachers hated him for his disruptiveness, and the students found him annoying beyond belief. He never seemed to care. One day, he had finally stepped on his teachers last nerve. What the teacher did was make everyone in the class stand up and tell the boy something they didn't like about him. As each of the thirty students stood up and said something about him they didn't like, he only sat and didn't seem to mind. All of the students did it. That day, when school was out, the boy went home, grabbed his dads gun, and shot himself in the head. If you think that the teacher was to blame, and that what she did was morally wrong and completely shameful, copy and paste this into your profile. Then, if you would have been the one to stand up and say "I'm not going to do this" then add your username to the list. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. Mad Zia Magdalena kiry219 Lost your pen= No pen No pen= No notes No notes= No study No study= Fail Fail= No diploma No diploma= No work No work= No money No m No food No food= Skinny Skinny= Ugly Ugly= No love No love= No marriage No marriage= No children No children= Alone Al Depression Depression= sickness Sickness= Death Life Lesson= Don't lose your pen. You'll die. To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity... Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. Something to do when you want to annoy someone, is to throw a clothing item at them and yell "You're a free elf now, (Insert name of person you threw the clothing item at)!!!", then run away. XD DANCE As though no one is watching LOVE As though you have never been hurt before SING As though no one can hear you LIVE As though Heaven is on Earth Without humor, life sucks. 98% of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like cookies, and anime! If you had a laughing fit for absolutely no reason copy and paste this on your profile If you hear voices in you head, copy this to your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. (Dang fools, the lot of em! SHE WANTS TO KISS YOU DUMBUTT!) If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. (opps.) If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. (*whistle innocently*) If you know someone (Or more than one someone!) who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. If your weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar copy this into your profile. If your crazy and proud of it, copy this onto your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If there are times when you just want to annoy people for the heck of it... copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever seen a movie so many time you can quote it word for word, copy this to your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing at something in a book, copy this to your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever had a heart-to-heart conversation with a wall, copy and paste this in your profile. If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMIIII BEEEEEEAAAAARRRRSSSS! If you are really random put this on your profile. If you have answered a question by saying "Penguins" when penguins had NOTHING to do with what you were talking about, copy this into you're profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy this onto your profile! (Hee hee hee...) If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile. 30 of kids go to college. the other 70 either drop out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are on of the 30 that KNOW that your going to college put this on your profile. If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile. Most teenagers today complain about how fat they are. If you're happy with your body and don't flip out if you eat something with more than 200 calories, then post this in your profile. If you ever wished you could see the world, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! If you have an odd sort of love/hate realationship with your computer, C&P Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, C&P! If you've ever walked into a doorway you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this into your profile If you think the kids should just stop chasing Lucky and leave the stinkin' leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. (It's his marshmellow's!) If you think Fred should just let Barney have the stinkin' Coco Pebbles, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune (OOOOHHHH!) If you read multiple books at the same time copy and paste this into your profile If you ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered, copy this your profile. If you have ever spent more than six hours straight on the computer then copy and paste this into your profile, add your name to the list. PenginYasha, leafninja345435, Tsukiko The Librarian, Unluckykat13, The Crazy Evil Akatsuki Neko,Immortal A, Kimyou-kagome,Gaara's Teddy 666, BoogiepopShippuden, NekoDoodle, Forbiddensoul562, TryMotToOCry, Poog, Cat.Streaked.By.Rain,Mew Rika,Immortal-Puppet-Otaku, StellaMarris, Mad Zia Magdalen, kiry219 If you've ever busted a move or burst into song for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have weird friends, copy this into your profile. (I love my weirdos) If you ever fell off a chair backwards, copy and paste this If you have ever said the same thing more than one time in a row, put this in your profile. put this in your profile. If there are a million things that you could copy into your profile, copy this into your profile If you have ever completely forgotten what you were doing, put this in your profile. read the Stupidity: Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and 4 to reach out and slap someone. You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat. Some people say they are big readers. That they're so into books it's not funny. However the only way to tell is if they 1) Suddenly gasp when something exciting happens in the book. 2) Start talking to the book because that's not how they want the book to go. 3) Hurl the book across the room when one of their favorite characters dies. Copy and paste this if you are one of these people Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky and yell "Storms Suck" -You say psycho like it's a bad thing! -Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. -When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it -When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate -When life gives you lemons, throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes -When life gives you lemons, squirt them in life's eyes and run like you're being chased by demons -When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but don't offer life a discount -When life gives you lemons, claim that it is in fact an orange and tell everyone that life is stupid ... Throw them right back, 'cause really, who likes Lemons? ... Make grape juice, sit back, and watch the world wonder how. ... Squirt them in Life's eyes, then see how much Life like Lemons then! ... Alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!!!!!!! ... Chuck them at random people. ... Throw them right back, and tell Life to make its own dang lemonade!!! ... Squirt them in Life's eyes, then far, far away... -If at first you don't succeed, burn all the evidence that you tried -The only reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answer I accept -Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered, "Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?" -Cheese will rule do not deny the truth -Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong -All sane people who worked here quit -Everything is funny as long as it's happening to some one else -One by one penguins steal my sanity, but since when have I been sane -I've been given sugar. Please use this time to prepare for the end of the world -What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding -It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with contentious and angry women -A vase is basically a flower torture device; you rip it from its home, put it in a small container and watch it die slowly -I will temporarily rule the world, forever Quotes "What doesn't kill you, will most certainly try again." "Get ur mind out of the gutter? Dude, I AM the gutter!" "Stressed is desserts spelt backwards" "Hehehe...moo"- Kakashi (Naruto Abridged) "OMG! A giant rock!"- Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged) "Even a person using shuriken can lose to a master who throws but a tiny rock." Zetsu (Naruto (Shippuuden)) "Oh yeah, back when she was nice." -TJ (Recess: school's out) "Hey, Kakuzu, what do you mean 'unlike my partner'?!"- Hidan (Naruto (Shippuuden)) "You know, logic has a brother. His name is SHUT THE HELL UP!" -Kakashi (Naruto Abridged) "Anyway, we have the five villages: the drinking gourd, the dog crap, the squiggly lines, the three puddles and the- what the crap is our symbol. No, seriously- it doesn't even look like a leaf! It looks like a snail fell over and can't get up!"- Kakashi (Naruto Abridged) "Leave it to my friend- mister puffy pyjama pants!" -Haku (Naruto Abridged) "Who's that pokemon- it's Kakashi"- Sakura/Naruto (Naruto Abridged) (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!) "You're one hundred years too young for giving me orders" - Deidara (Naruto (Shippuuden)) "You may call me whatever you wish, but I'm taking your cake." - L (Death Note) "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" - Harvey Dent (The Dark Knight) "Some men don't want anything logical, some men just want to watch the world burn" - Alfred (The Dark Knight) "Unlikely adventures require unlikely tools"- Mr Magorium (Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium) "You can't spell slaughter without laughter." - Name of the Album of a Band "The only thing to fear is fear itself... and spiders." "You do not respect the funk...for that I will surely kill you." - Gaara (Naruto Abridged) "How many F's are in funk?" - Gaara (Naruto Abridged) "How are you doing? I'm fine...because I'm a potato!" - On some random Video Game I HEART THE WINKY FACE ;D Ron Stoppable: I mean, when Life gives you lemons... Drakken: I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LEMONS! - Series finale of Kim Possible Rubber Bands can and will hurt you. - Forever Fyre I have two brains in my head! Too bad neither one works right... - Fyre You put two geniuses together, you get some rocket that made it to the moon. You put two idiots together, and you get two idiots making up weird phrases. - Panakin and Forever Fyre Find a fruit and blame it for your problems. Then eat it. - Forever Fyre Yeah I'm a disorianted Whack-Job. You got a with problem that? - Panakin reading the correct version of this phrase Panakin: Do you think that I could be a famous actress? Fyre: Facinating, tell me more. Panakin: What are you going to get? Fyre: The number "I really don't wanna repeat it so I'll just have what she's having" special. Fyre: What's an orange food? Panakin: ...An orange? Fyre: Really, Sherlock? Fyre: I hear your dad screaming in the background and I think MY family's weird. I like my own little world. The temperature's great! - Forever Fyre Have a nice existance! Or don't...I really don't care at this point - Forever Fyre Ahhh, stupidity. - Fyre dying of laughter while watching TV (Good quotes. *A bit embarrassed*) Monk: I'm on the list. Security Guard: Name? Monk: Puff...Daddy. Pat Sajac: Why Do you have to whoosh? Edward Cullen: I like to Whooooosh Pat: Yes, but... Harry Potter: WAIT! I solved it! The Wizards Of Waverly Place! Pat: Still wrong, Harry. Jacob Black: I've got something to say Pat: Yes? Jacob: (Takes off shirt) That's it. Pat: Why would you take off your shirt for no reason? Jacob: Why would you? Pat: That makes no sense...(Realizes he has no shirt on) Where is my shirt? Gollum: And where's your Pants-ses-ses? Pat: (No pants) That's it! Magic student week is over! WHOOSH! - So Random (MADE THE EPISODE^) People said it was impossible to fly. I smile and show them an Airplane. People said it was impossible to see other people millions of miles away. I smile and show them a TV. People said it was impossible to walk through walls. I smile and show them a door. People said it was impossible to become invisable. I smile and show them a Camo Jacket. People said it was impossible to move things with your brain. I frown and tell them to shut up. (^Fyre wisdom, we are Superheroes!) Leanord: Just...don't mess with Sheldon, he's one lab explosion away from a super villan! Sheldon (Monotone): Mwa-ha-ha. - Big Bang Theory Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly. ~Arnold Edinborough (And I say the cat has nine lives) "NO I WILL NOT STAND UP! AND THE BANANA IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU! ARE YOU BLIND?!"~ Amy2421 MY FAVORITE QUOTES: God made Man, then said "I can do better.", and created Woman. Fly me to nowhere, it's better than somewhere, that's where i've been and nothing has changed.-OneRepublic, Mercy It's always darkest before dawn I have not failed, i have just found 1,000 ways that won't work.- Thomas Edison With great power, comes great need to take a nap.- Nico DiAngelo, The Last Olympian A genius is someone who shoots for something no one else can see, and hits it. Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back Shoot for the moon, 'cause if you miss, you'll land among the stars. It's not easy being green...- Kermit the Frog. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time-to-time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.- Miss Piggy. No day is so bad, that it can't be fixed with a nap.- Carrie Snow Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes. Every girl is a goddess- Fancesca Lia Block On the path between the houses of friends, grass does not grow.- Norwegian Proverb I can keep secrets. It's the girls i tell them to that can't keep a secret at all.- Brooke Vermillion Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!- Eleanor Roosevelt Dolphins. They think they're so cute. 'Oh, look at me, I'm a flippy little dolphin, let me flip for you'.- Chum in Finding Nemo Life is short. Buy the shoes.- Samantha Crouton I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.- Gilda Radner I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because i know i'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde- Dolly Parton The thing you hate about yourself tends to be the thing everyone likes about you.- Nicole Kidman Just because your family loves you, doesn't mean they understand you.- Francesca Shrapnel Bite the wax tadpole.- Coca-Cola Fear of a name only increases fear in the thing itself.- J.K. Rowling The only thing worse than a liar, is a bad liar.- Lucy Liu There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back! I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned. I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead. Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. I smile because I have no idea what's going on! One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there! When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs. If you can't convince them, confuse them. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. What happens if you get scared half to death... twice? Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous. I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember. Life isn't trying to pass me by, it's trying to run me over When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip 'n slide They say 'guns don't kill people, people kill people.' well, I think that the gun helps. you wouldn't kill too many people standing there yelling 'BANG!' Flying is simple: just throw yourself at the ground and miss When someone is getting on your nerves, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, but only 4 muscles are needed to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain Nobody's worth your tears, and the ones that are won't make you cry Everyday is a gift, that's why its called the present I have the answer in my head, I just haven't found it yet Life is not measured in the breaths we take but in the moments that take our breath away Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon Don't talk unless you can improve the silence I'm a nobody, nobody's perfect, therefore I'm perfect Stupidity killed the cat. curiosity got framed Some of the most wonderful, dazzling successes are going to happen to some of the most awful, undeserving people you know - people who are, in other words, not you Life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself Yup, I like quotes. You'll learn that soon, Young Padawan. ( LOL!!!!) If you want some darn icecream, copy this into your profile. (yeah, bring me some!) If you are addicted to fanfiction, copy this and put it into your profile. (eheheh MORE than addicted) If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. (Have you noticed?) If you have embarassing memories that make you want to smack yourself copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever fallen UP stairs, add this to your profile If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. No event is complete without theme music. If you have ever started humming/singing your own theme music, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. After over 50 years of scientific research, we found out the saying goes, "Girls rule and boys drool!" 99% of teen girls would absolutly FREAK if Miley Cyrus, Robert Pattinson, and Justin Bieber got kidnapped. Copy and paste this in your profile if you're one of the sane 1% who would be happily poking their captives with a spork, while threatening to save the teen girl population. (You know what that means lol) Hello. Welcome to the State Mental Hospital Phone Line. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up I don't want Prince Charming. I want the guy who probably got kicked out of the castle.The one who knows exactly what to say to me and always says everything he wants to.The one who'll sneak up behind me and grab my waist, because he knows I'll probably scream like a freak and try swatting him away.The one who I could spend a whole day arguing with.The one who doesn't mind when I'm in a mood, he'll just tease me even more and piss me off until I finally crack a smile.The guy who'd do anything to see me happy; who wouldn't mind holding my hand but would still randomly tackle me to the ground and tickle me.The type of guy who'd text me in the middle of the day just to remind me that he loved me.The one who would probably never bring me flowers, but who wouldn't mind dancing in the middle of the park and belting out a song for me.He wouldn't back down from a fight and would carry on arguing with me until we both end up laughing like idiots.A guy who would buy me a huge slab of my favourite chocolate everytime I moan about my weight. The one who would listen to my endless stories about my day, wishes and pointless ideas - who'd tease me but never laugh at my dreams.The one who would look at me and tell me that I have pretty eyes, or hug me when I'm too upset to talk.The guy who would act like a total weirdo infront of a crowd and make everyone laugh easily.The guy that isn't perfect, instead he'd be far from it.He'd be infuriating, cynical, temperamental and sometimes even moodier than me - But who would never take advantage of my love. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (I honestly don't want to know...) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Uhhhh, so you open it at the store???) On a bar of Dial soap: 'Directions: Use like regular soap.' (I am so confused.) On some Swanson frozen dinners: 'serving suggestion: defrost' (Nah. I'll just eat a steak frozen.) Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom): 'Do not turn upside down' (Oops. Bad timing there) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: 'Product will be hot after heating.' (Really, now?) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: 'Do not iron clothes on body.' (But, why?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.' (Well darn.) On Nytol sleep aid: 'warning: may cause drowsiness.' (Aw man. I don't wanna be drowsy! If I wanted to be tired I'd take a sleeping. . .neve rmind.) On most brands of Christmas lights: 'For indoor or outdoor use only.' (Oh, so I can't use it. . .on Mars, I guess?) On a Japanese food processor: 'Not to be used for the other use.' (Tell me more!) On Sainsbury peanuts:'Warning: contains nuts.' (NO WAY?) On an American Airlines pack of nuts: 'Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.' (Oh, thank goodness. I have always wondered how to use these things.) On a Coke bottle: Shake well before use (o_O) 10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL 10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks 9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies 8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly 7. Our magazines have horiscopes 6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around 5. Our friends say "hi" instead of punching us in the arm 4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month 3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have 2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket 1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing More reasons we rock: 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. (Hm. Uh... Never mind.) 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. 30. Can they bleed for a week and survive? YOU Know You are obsessed to anime when... 1. You own a shiny, metal object of doom. 2. You and your friends have anime nicknames. 3. You know your favorite character’s birthday; favorite color food and animal, blood type, and you cant even remember your sibling’s birthday. 4. You are in multiple animefan clubs (or own some!). 5. You almost die if you miss an episode of your favorite anime, or cant buy the newest manga. 6. Your friend shows you their manga collection and you drool all over there carpet. 7. You have dressed up as you favorite character on Halloween, or just for fun! 8. You have a picture of your favorite character in your wallet or purse. 9. You prefer guys with long silver hair and swords. 10. You write a story about your favorite character for English class. 11. You have pictures of anime all over you walls. 12. You have a dream in Japanese and you don’t even understand it. 13. You want to learn Japanese for no apparent reason, even though you have never been to Japan and probably never will. 14. Your knowledge of Japanese only extends to "hello" and "I will kill you". 15. You begin to learn Japanese through watching subs. 16. You use Japanese when in a conversation with any random person, and don’t realize you did until you see them looking at you funny. 17. You can't speak Japanese, can't understand Japanese yet you can sing along to the theme song of every anime movie you own. 18. You accidentally call a very unintelligent person Kuwabara by mistake. 19. You where a pink jewel around your neck and call it the shikon jewel. 20. You waste countless amounts of hair gel trying to that "goku" look. 21. (If you speak English) when English becomes your second language. 22. You name (or plan to name) your children after anime characters. 23. You buy shuriken or kunai. 24. You speak in subtitles. 25. You prefer anime over real life. 26. You begin to think that blue or pink is a natural hair color. 27. You continually buy and eat ramen, even if you don’t like it that much. (My sis loves it.) 28. You suddenly decide to study a random martial art. 29. You cosplay daily. 30. When you get a crush on an anime character. (giggle...) REMEMBER WHEN .. getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground? the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs? 'm 0 m' (was your hero) and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry? when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest? when - WAR- was a card game and life was simple and care free? remember when all you wanted to do WAS GROW UP? Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't Spanish and you just do that to annoy him. Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o, but you forgot your spoon, so you try to drink it through a straw. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrolable at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you’re crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends you're high, because you can't stop laughing when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when it is last day of school you scream and run around in circles. Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the move. Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world. Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane. Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the ground...it's pretty" Crazy is when you have a mental breaksown during lunch, because you’re stabbing an orange repeatedly with a fork while laughing hysterically and not caring who gives you weird looks. It’s also when you do weird stuff, just for the sake of getting weird looks. Crazy is when you yell at the characters on the T.V. screen for being IDIOTS! Copy/paste this on your profile, then add something crazy YOU have done to the list. -DORMITORY: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: GEORGE BUSH: ELECTION RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: MOTHER-IN-LAW: THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE Ah, marriage: Before marriage: Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Heck no, are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes! Girl: Darling! After marriage (read it backwards.) If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this onto your profile. If you are against animal testing, then shout it loud, dammit! If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear beating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc. then copy this into your profile! COPY AND PASTE THIS ON YOUR PAGE IF YOU ARE AGAINST ANY FORM OF VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!! (Or anyone) If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. f you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. Anime, video games, cartoons, comics, you na If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it to anyone, copy and paste this in your profile. If you often laugh maniacally when you're all by yourself, please copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever said that an anime character is sexy and you love them and you mean it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever considered going (and have gone) to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile. If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile. 5 Truths of Life. 1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue 2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it 3. The first truth is a lie 4. You're smiling right now because you know you fell for it... 5. You still have a stupid smile lingering on your face Now, if you fell for it (I KNOW you did), copy & paste this into your profile. Lady Gaga taught me its ok to be different. Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks. Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love. Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through. Taylor Swift taught me not every guy is going to treat me right. Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me. Music taught me how to live. BUT: Most importantly, Rebecca Black taught me the days of the week. -Fake friends never ask for food, true friends are the reason why you have no food. She’s emo? You’d cut too, if you’ve been through what she has. She’s anorexic? You’d be too, if everyone called you fat everyday. She’s a !@#$e (sorry, not allowed to say that word)? She made one mistake that cost her, her reputation. ... She’s a showoff? Her parents abused her, & she’s never heard of praise. She’s loud? She’s invisible at home, & she wants to be heard. She’s quiet? She’s afraid to speak, because she’s scared to get made fun of. She’s fat? She binges, because she misses her dead brother. She’s a geek? She wants to get into college, so she can support her poverty ridden family. She doesn’t wear abrecrombie? Her parents have been out of work for months, clothes aren’t her top priority if she can’t even afford food. She’s ugly? Tell me, what is the definition of beauty? Who are you to judge them? You know their name, not their story. If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever crashed into a wall while sugar high copy and paste this on your profile. I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me." "I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart (I cried) Ways to Annoy people at the cinema: -Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" -Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses. -Clap when the good guy gets killed. -During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" -Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" -Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. -Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. -Yell out what is going to happen. -Wear a cape and when it’s your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. -Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. -Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. -Use empty chairs next to u as catapults for candy. Aim at specific people behind you & see if you can hit anyone in the back row. -Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are. -Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. -Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. -Sit in the front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. -Every time a character's name is mentioned do the macarena. -Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. -Try to start a wave. -Become a bookie. -Take bets on who will die first. -Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. -Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" -Sing with the theme music. -Bring and use your own air freshener. -At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." -Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them the upper part of the screen so they can't be scraped off. -Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. -Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. -Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks u to turn off the light, yell, "Shh, trying to read!" -Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. -Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. -Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. -When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" -Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. -Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" -Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. -Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. -Get up frequently and leave the room while singing, "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat" -Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!” jump on the floor, and cover your head. -Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. -Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by them self. -Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. -Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room. -Bring a portable corn popper, pop your own popcorn. -Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" -Before the commercials start and people are just coming in, shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" -Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting, "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" -Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said. -Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. -Bring a pager or cell phone & set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. -Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes. -Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've seen, put your head into the room, & scream the ending. Warning: Some of these may get you banned & or make them think you're insane e clerk tells you. I finally found you mommy! And see what he does! Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't. this is this cat this is is cat this is how cat this is to cat this is keep cat this is a cat this is retard cat this is busy cat this is for cat this is forty cat this is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on. (Oops.) Rules For Hogwarts: - If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE! - Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar - I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month. - I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort - I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape - Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda - I am not to refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'. - The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. - If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 10 minutes, I shall assume that I am not allowed to use it. - It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. - "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. - Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey." - I am not allowed to paint the House Elves blue and call them smurfs - The Whomping Willow is not a Entwife with PMS - "I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!" - "So I was all like Avada Kadavra and he was all like. Dead." - Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret - No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. - Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in May...June...or July... - Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such. - I am not allowed to sing 'we're off to see the wizard' on the way to the headmaster's office - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group. - Especially not with kazoos. - The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable". - Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other house is forbidden. - There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man". ...Even if I do conjure him up. - Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow. - The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate. - Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge. - I will not write "Wizard" on my hat in sequins. - I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?" - I am not allowed to dress exactly like Snape and ask him to call me "mini me." - Snape does not want bleach, laundry detergent, or new underwear for his birthday or Christmas. - No combination of these is acceptable. - Murmuring “I see dead people… ” every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny. - Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom. - I am no longer allowed to sing my “own personal spy music” when I wander around the hallways. - I should not remark that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” when Snape gets angry. Ever. - If I become an animagus, I am not allowed to yell “MORPHIN’ TIME!” every time I change. - I cannot do this whenever anyone else changes either. - I must not shout "beam me up Scotty" before disapparating. - I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals (BWAHAHAHAHA!) HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001 When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- But then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day. Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty? I may be the dog, but who's the animal? If the story above affected you as much as it did me, please copy and paste this onto your own profile (I cried. Again.) I'm no physician, but there appears to be a dagger through my chest. When nothing in life is going right- go left, then drag people in the other direction. :) A mountain that eats people . . . I want one If I had no sense of humor then I would have committed suicide long ago This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. If at first you don't succeed . . . go back and reload the gun. Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives If two wrongs don't make a right, try three If it's stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid Shoot first, shoot later, shoot again, then when everyone's dead, try to ask a question or two If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough of it. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there are footprints on the moon Don't look at me with that tone of voice! It's a wonder they haven't locked you up yet Fiction is a lie and good fiction is the truth inside the lie You've gotta die in creative ways. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy. Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough. Push something hard enough and it will fall. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn't have been notified. Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there! People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. Don't underestimate me, pal. See this smile? It's not really a smile. It's a distraction so I can punch you in the face. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh becase you are all the same. When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. Heaven kicked me out. Hell was afraid I'd take over. Well, Here I am! Don't underestimate me, pal. See this smile? It's not really a smile. It's a distraction so I can punch you in the face. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh becase you are all the same. When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. Heaven kicked me out. Hell was afraid I'd take over. Well, Here I am! FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it? FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "You will die in seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumbass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DANG!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste! FRIENDS: Would read, and ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap FRIENDS: Will look at you like your crazy when you tell them your an alien from outer space. If you actually go around fanfiction reading these things, COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR PROFILE! A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this mundanely ridiculous fact, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.. If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer. MWAHAHAHA!!! If you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't fit the description of the non-existent word of 'normal', then put this into your profile right now!! If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever dreamed that you met anime/manga characters, copy this into your profile. If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile. (Nobody says "game over" to me!!) Post this on your profile if you have ever had a major fan girl moment. If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together and think that it will happen, copy and paste in your profile 92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it wasn't cool to breath anymore. Repost if your one if the 8 percent who would be laughing your butt off. 98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If odds are you have homework you forgot about or just don't feel like doing right now, copy and paste this into your profile. (Written by Kohroxmysox) If you've ever misspelled "the" on either your keyboard, or a paper, or both, copy and paste this into your profile. (Written by Kohroxmysox) If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY: COPY and PASTE this if you started giggling, laughing, nodding your head, thought this was hilarious, ect., while you read this! 1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 3. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD? 4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES? 5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE. 6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE. 7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?? 8. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP? 9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION? 10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM? 11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?" 12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT? 13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES? 14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK? 15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM? 16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED? 17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS? 18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT? 19. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD? 20. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. 21. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR? 22. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO? 23. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY? 24. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE? 25. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD LISP TO HAVE "S" IN IT? I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!" 1. YOUR REAL NAME: samantha 2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): samizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): red wolf 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (Middle name and current street name): anne eastwood 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (The first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name): stesaris 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favourite color, favorite drink): black pepper 7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of your siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): aenaarme 8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name): lee 9: YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one your pets) black ginny For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like me." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile (ALL) If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile! If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile. (My sister stares at me like I'm nuts.) If you have ever randomly said a line from a book/anime/fanfic while you were by yourself then busted out laughing, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are antisocial sometimes, copy and paste. If everyone aroung you listens to rap and hip hop and you're still rockin' out and headbangin', copy and paste this on your profile. You say BABY PINK You say ZAC EFRON If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! Did you know... HATE EMO? READ THIS: Isnt it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a a mini with a tshirt that barely covers anything? Isnt it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful? Isnt it funny that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone Are you laughing? Isnt it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity? Isnt it funny that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts? I'm not laughing Its so funny that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting. Isnt it funny that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart. HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OR LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS Keep on laughing Isnt it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE BRAVE ISNT GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WHORES AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISNT A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE ITS ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGING RUMORS just laugh, i dare you if you agree repost. SCREW THE EMO HATERS! What a Boyfriend SHOULD Do: When she walks away from you mad Follow her When she stares at your mouth Kiss her When she pushes you or hits you Grab her and don't let go When she starts yelling at you Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet Ask her what’s wrong When she ignores you Give her your attention When she pulls away Pull her back When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying Just hold her and don't say a word When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared Protect her When she lays her head on your shoulder Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steals your favorite hat Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesn't answer for a long time Reassure her that everything is okay When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up When she says that she likes you she really does more than you could understand When she grabs at your hands Hold hers and play with her fingers When she bumps into you bump into her back and make her laugh When she tells you a secre t keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes don't look away until she does When she misses you she's hurting inside When you break her heart the pain never really goes away When she says its over she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin she wants you to read it - Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 years later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- W hen she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's butt am I kicking?" When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him. The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.". You Know You're a Book Addict If (Bold those that apply): You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. You write fanfictions about the book. (DUH) You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it. (and don't they know it) You accidentally call everyone by the characters' names. Everything reminds you of the book. You quote random lines all the time. You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. You've got a book memorized. (well pretty much, minor details fade but I always remember the ending) You've read a book more than five times. You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (dudes, I can do this in HOURS not days, ask anyone who knows me well enough. READING IS MY LIFE! Other than anime.) You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (WHY!?!?!?!?) You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still human. You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character. Your idol is a character from a book. When you turn on a light you say "Lumos" When someone angers you look at them and say "Avada Kedvera!" Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, but Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy, that I love him very much, And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister, that she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, and please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this. But Mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could Please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, on that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, the time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true. And all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you." In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost, Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys dont want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They jus t have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree You Know You're a Book Addict If (Bold those that apply): You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. You write fanfictions about the book. (DUH) You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it. (and don't they know it) You accidentally call everyone by the characters' names. Everything reminds you of the book. You quote random lines all the time. You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. You've got a book memorized. (well pretty much, minor details fade but I always remember the ending) You've read a book more than five times. You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (dudes, I can do this in HOURS not days, ask anyone who knows me well enough. READING IS MY LIFE! Other than anime.) You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (WHY!?!?!?!?) You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still human. You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character. Your idol is a character from a book. When you turn on a light you say "Lumos" When someone angers you look at them and say "Avada Kedvera!" Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, but Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy, that I love him very much, And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister, that she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, and please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this. But Mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could Please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, on that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, the time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true. And all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you." In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost, Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys dont want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They jus t have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree |
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