Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
(don't cheat--)
THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
soulmate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.

You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

You shalt paste this in your profile.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

"Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mam saying you can still keep it.

Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

A good friend will bail you out of jail
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn, we messed up."
A good friend helps you when you fall. A true friend laughs at you and trips you again

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

Smart is sexy.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"

My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies…

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Perfect men are only fictional.

Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

(a lot of the quotes are from DarkAngel2007 She's aWeSoMe)

YE OLDE ANNOYING COPY/PASTE SECTION:

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good.

Amanda helped me come up with the idea for this one:

95 percent of American teen girls would rush in a mob to every sperm bank if Robert Pattinson announced that he had donated sperm. Copy this to your profile if you would be part of the 5 percent holding a gun, watching the mob rush by, and picking off the weaklings...

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.

You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings.You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

You shalt paste this in your profile.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight and Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, Nova Ride, IheartZacharyGoode

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

When I read Maximum Ride I wanted to kill Fang for not kissing Max sooner. I mean, COME ON!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to inanimate objects like they were people, and then tried to get others to do it too, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy & paste this into your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you complain that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you don't just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think Fang is Fangalicious, copy and paste this into your profile!

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you wish you were Max Ride just so you could make out with Fang, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have/wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love Fang from Maximum Ride and drool over him, even though you have never even seen him, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.

If you wish Max would stop running from Fang copy and paste this onto your profile.

You know its the 21st Century when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.

11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

If you have read all of this, I am impressed.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-... parking garage... yellow bunnies... blue m&m's... Aston Martin... random words...)

If Jeb should get his ass kicked by Max copy and paste this to your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile

I you want wings and powers (I hope you do) copy and paste this to your profile

If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball?

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don't hate yourself in the morning- sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with!

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Toes arent needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully.

95 percent of people are concerned with being popular. If you are part of the five percent who couldn't care less, copy this to your profile.(ME!!)

If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile. (Rain rocks!!)

If you still laugh you ass off rereading Maximum Ride, copy this to your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride(the movie) on the very first day it comes out... I'LL SEE YOU THERE!(oh and copy this to your profile.)

If you'll take the first watch, copy and paste this to you're profile. (if you don't get it, THEN READ MAXIMUM RIDE!)

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports in under two hours, copy this into your profile.

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If random songs just pop into your head at any given momet, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family ect.) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual instructions on consumer goods.

On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners: Serving Suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion.)

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well, duh, a bit late, huh?)

On Mark's & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (And you thought??...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those five-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (And I'm taking this... because?)

On most brands of Christmas tree lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to... what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody help me out on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On packet on Nobby's Peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. (Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)

(I don't blame the company on this one; I blame the parents) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On milk carton: Allergy warning: Contains milk. (Duh)

On match box: Warning: fire kills children.Complete with pic of a kid with his arm on fire. (And adults are fireproof are they?)

You know you lived in 2008 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that

has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Lunamione7, Sunshine0235, I-Wish-For-Wings, maximumcullenxxx, gypsyprincess94, Cluainn Fhada

A Poem by Max

White is the color of little bunnies with pink noses.
White is the color of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky.
White is the color of soft-serve ice cream in a cone.
White is the color of angel's wings and Angel's wings.
White is the color of brand-new ankle socks fresh out of the bag.
White is the color of crisp sheets in shmancy hotels.
White is the color of every last freaking, gol-danged thing you see for miles and miles if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel like if you see any more whiteness--Wonderbread, someone's underwear, teeth--you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City, muttering to yourself.

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.

Friend: Will help me learn to drive.
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away.
Best Friend: Won't let me go away.

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down.
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.

Friend: Will bail me out of jail.
Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "We fucked up, huh?"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me.
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me.

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs.".
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad".

Friend: Asks me for my number.
Best friend: Asks me for her number.

Friend: Hides me from the cops.
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in publi.c
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade.
Best Friends: Are FOREVER...

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1.

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2

People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4

When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?! Do people do this? Who and where are they? I'm Gonna Kick their asses!

5

When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7.

When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8

When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What the fuck can you do that's longer?

9

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Elmo knows where you live!

Oh so cute! Bunny!

Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination, and
come join the dark side, we've got cookies.

On the other hand, this is Kitty.

l
（ﾟ､７
lヽ
じしf,)ノ

Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.

Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's

brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

"F--ed up.
Insecure.
Neurotic.
Emotional.
Honestly, I'm FINE!"

I am not afraid of the dark,

I am afraid of what is lurking in it.

I am not afraid of heights,

I am afraid of falling.

I am not afraid of falling in love,

I am afraid of not being loved back

Dance

as though no one is watching you.

Love

as though you have never been hurt before.

Sing

as though no one can hear you.

Live

as though heaven is on earth

I'm Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old I Am Now

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

I'm the kinda girl...

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather act stupid than smart.

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for eating most of them.

I'm the kind of girl who in an awkward silence or someone says something awkward would laugh.

I'm the kind of girl who's not afraid to prank my friends.

I'm the kind of girl who would make my friends laugh by just being with them for a few minutes.

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to melt out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!! lol

O

Copy paste this if you heart exclaimation marks!!

FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR

1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"

3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

11) Meow occasionally.

12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

FUNNY STUFF FROM FAN FICTOION

Harry Potter

The Easter Bunny is NOT Jesus' animagus form

Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins.I should not test that.

I will not jump up and yell "VOLDERMORT, RUN!" in the middle of a D.A. meeting.

If Death Eaters attack Hogsmeade, I will not point at the Dark Mark and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin!”

0I will not hand out shirts that say “Potter 6, Voldemort 0.”

It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.

I will not tell Professor McGonagall about the great Muggle enhancer out there called botox.

b. I will not tell her that it would make those thin tight lips of hers into pouty bodacious things.

c. I will not tell her that Professor Dumbledore would particularly enjoy looking at those pouty bodacious things.

"To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

I will not put a paper sign on Firenze's back saying "Pony Rides: 3 Sickles.”

Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology."

House Pride

Welcome to Gryffindor. A Weasley has probably slept in your bed.

Gryffindor – (n.) – where dwell the brave at heart

Definition:

-Brave to the point of idiocy.-

-Where Snape really belongs.-

-Weasley dumping grounds.-

-Saving your arse more times than we can count.-

Gryffindor's Guide To Life:

Life is short. Break some rules. And some statutes, codes, and laws while you're at it.

Do or do not. There is no try.

Life without danger is a waste of oxygen. (See Slytherin)

Punch first, question later.

Whatever doesn’t kill you…will probably try again.

If you’re gonna get in trouble for hitting someone, you might as well do it hard.

Drug of choice: Adrenaline

I’m no braver than an ordinary man. I’m just braver five minutes longer.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

We don’t believe in miracles. We depend on them.

There are moments when everything goes well, but don’t be frightened.

Never tell us the odds.

Gryffindor Quotes:

I came, I saw, I kicked some ass.

There can’t be a crisis next week! My schedule’s already full.

If there’s anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now.

I’d rather be playing Quidditch.

No, it’s not easy. I just make it look that way.

You just got Gryffinpwned. :)

If Harry speaks and Umbridge does not hear him, is he still a liar?

Welcome to Ravenclaw. We’re too good for passwords.

Ravenclaw – (n.) – where those of wit and learning will always find their kind

Definition:

-Not geniuses. Just smarter than you.-

-Hermione should be here. I want a word with the Sorting Hat.-

Ravenclaw's Guide To Life:

The geeks shall inherit the earth.

A room without books is like a body without a soul.

There is something out there. Something stupid.

It’s not who you know, it’s whom you know.

Sarcasm is nature’s natural defense against stupidity.

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.

I think, therefore I’m dangerous.

Treat everyone the same until you find out they’re an idiot.

Gryffindors have more fun, but we remember it the next day.

Ravenclaw Quotes:

When Google can’t find something, it asks Ravenclaw for help.

In an average room, there 1242 objects a Ravenclaw can use to kill you…including the room itself.

“Geeks” and “nerds” do not exist. Those are just stereotypes made by people who can’t spell their own names.

I am not antisocial. I just can’t stand people.

I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request…means no.

We’re not emotionless. We love our textbooks very much.

You very well may “pwn” but at least I own you in proper English. Who’s a noob now?

I’m not opinionated, I’m just always right.

We’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

I’ve tried callous indifference, but arrogant confrontation is more fun.

It’s a real burden, being right so often.

No, we will not do your homework. …For free.

Don’t hate me because of my superior intellect and sarcastic attitude.

My neural pathways have become accustomed to your sensory input patterns.

I don’t have low self-esteem. I have low esteem for everyone else.

I’d explain it to you, but your mind would blow up.

I’m so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a word of what I’m saying.

I wouldn’t say you’re stupid. You are, but I wouldn’t say it.

Rack your brains. That should only take a couple of seconds.

I’d call you a genius, but I’m in the room.

Welcome to Hufflepuff. (Cedric was here!)

Hufflepuff – (n.) – where they are just and loyal

Definition:

-Hufflepuff: That’s some kind of pokemon, right?-

-A complete pussy.-

-The grouphug house.-

-‘Cause we’re…um…loyal.-

Hufflepuff's Guide To Life:

Smile and let it go.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Being underestimated isn’t always a bad thing.

If you can’t say anything nice…you’re probably hanging around the wrong people. (See Slytherin)

Speak your mind. Even if your voice shakes.

Save a tree. Wipe your arse with an owl.

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who lie alone at night with tears in their eyes and those who play hopscotch and sing in the corridors.

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Hufflepuff Quotes:

Jesus was a Hufflepuff!

We’re better than you. (Sorry.)

We aren’t wimps. We kill people with plants.

I can last two months on a good compliment.

Brace yourself, I’m going to hug you.

Sometimes I’m so sweet even I can’t stand it.

I’m like a bra. Close to your heart and there for support.

You think we’re cute? That’s nice.

We huff, we puff, and we blow you away.

I’m planning your death. But in a happy way. What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?

I only look sweet and innocent.

Well…we had Cedric.

Welcome to Slytherin. Now get out.

Slytherin – (n.) – those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends

Definition:

-Our blood is purer than yours.-

-You-Know-Who was here.-

-Filch is our cheerleader.-

Slytherin's Guide To Life:

Because ambition is everything.

Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character.

Real friends help you Incendio the bodies.

He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.

Mean and funny is still funny.

Ethics? Highly subjective and complete overrated.

A quitter never wins…and then gets to go home early.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Don’t be a hero. It’s not covered by the health plan.

Either find a way or make one.

We’re only wearing black until something darker comes along.

Slytherin Quotes:

The only person I have ever apologized to is my mother and that was court-ordered.

I’m sorry. I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.

Oh, look, just 2345854 more days until I start caring what you think.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.

I’m too tired to slap you. Bash your face up against my palm.

Don’t hate us because we’re beautiful. Hate us because we kick your ass at everything.

If you weren’t my friend I’d steal your shoes.

Excuse me, but I have minds to twist and values to warp.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.

Does your face hurt? ‘Cause it’s killing me.

Your mother is so ugly, it lowers her self-esteem.

I crashed a funeral today.

Of course we come from monkeys – just look at your mother.

What did I do to deserve all this? …Except all the sinning?

I was voted “Most likely to be seen on the news someday.”

That was a mean, low, sneaky, underhanded trick! And I’m quite pleased with myself.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Who are you and why should I care?

It matters not whether you win or lose. It matters whether I win or lose.

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I don’t intend to offend. I just offend with my intent.

I’m free of prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.

We used to care, but now we take a potion for that.

Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.

It might be dangerous. You can go first.

Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves.

My soul was removed to make room for all this sarcasm.

There is more awesomeness in my pinky than in your entire being.

Tony Soprano is my cousin. Pwned.

Blast house unity. Slytherins are the best.

A Gryffindor will jump off a cliff,

A Slytherin will push someone else off,

A Hufflepuff will call in five hundred others and they’ll carve a stairway,

And a Ravenclaw will get hold of a flying carpet.

What will you do?

I will not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Professor Snape's classroom.

I will not add a spoonful of sugar to each potion I make. Mary Poppins was not a brewer of potions.

Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the Whomping Willow is highly frowned upon.

b. I am also not allowed to tell them that the Whomping Willow is inaccurately named and is actually a wonderful spot for peaceful reading.

I will not tell Harry Potter that he is fictional and that everything he has worked for is nothing more than a couple of best selling novels and loads of bad fanfiction.
-101 Things Not To Do At Hogwarts by The Fat Chipmunk