hi

you know it's a bad dub when...
1) The viewers are in more pain than the characters.
2) The character's voice can cause glass to shatter.
3) Your VCR/DVD player spits out the video/disk as a warning.
4) Your VCR eats the tape less than five minutes into the show.
5) You scream curses and threats at the casting director.
6) You would rather watch it raw...without color...in the lowest possible quality, than watch the dub.
7) The show actually gets cancelled from TV.
8) Strange accents begin mysteriously appearing from characters' mouths.
9) No matter what the dub sounds like, you KNOW there are no British schoolboys in Japan. Hong Kong maybe, but not Kyoto or Shinjuku. Or Persia for that matter.
10) They manage to turn the gay male into a girl.
11) It's still blatantly obvious that the so-called "girl" is really a guy.
12) Any non-standard couple becomes family.
13) Any engaged family members are no longer related...Or engaged.
14) The crossdresser actually sounds male.
15) Cute, fuzzy animals go from sounding cute and fuzzy to sounding like NY cab drivers.
16) Your TV refuses to un-mute itself.
17) The power conveniently dies EVERY time the show airs, provided it hasn't already been cancelled.
18) The character's mouth is moving, but no sound is coming out.
19) Likewise, the character is still talking, but their mouth isn't moving.
20) The leading girl is given a whiney, irritating voice.
21) All of the girls are given whiney, irritating voices.
22) Ah heck with it, ALL of the characters are given whiney, irritating voices.
23) Shoujo animes are "machoified."
24) It's a shoujo anime...You KNOW it's a shoujo anime... So why is the guy suddenly the leading character?
25) People wear swimsuits to bathe or take a shower.
26) The characters use phrases like, "I'll send you to another dimension" or "I'll destroy you."
27) The hero's famous 'last words' are "Your mother wears combat boots!"
28) There are random hops, skips, jumps, leaps, and bounds in a single conversation.
29) Episodes 1, 2, 3, and 4 are actually episodes 20, 7, 13, and 8.
30) The Chinese guy in the group suddenly sounds like every other character.
31) All-American names are given to clearly Japanese characters.
32) You need a translation for the dub.
33) You give up, mute the TV, and turn on the closed-captioning/subtitles.
34) You'd rather not watch it AT ALL than watch the dub.
35) The openings and endings are completely redone...Badly.
36) Random and rampant commercial breaks. Lots of them...Lots, I tell you, LOTS!
37) The previews are better than the actual episodes.
38) The show is now half as long as it used to be. Or shorter than that even.
39) "No da" is somehow translated into "Y'know."
40) The Hitokiri Battousai mysteriously develops Yoda's speech impediment.
41) You flee screaming from any piece of the English merchandise. Particularly if it talks.
42) You burst into tears upon seeing the first previews for your favorite show on American TV because you've witnessed what the station did to the other foreign programs it aired.
43) You refuse to eat or drink while watching it for fear of spewing across the room.
44) You twitch in pain, then scream corrections at anyone over 9 who DARES refer to the dubbed version as if it was the only one.
45) You bite your lip until it bleeds in order to keep from snapping at anyone under 9 who treats you like a moron for not using the dubbed information.
46) It lowers your IQ level every time you watch it.
47) On that thought, you can actually FEEL the brain cells imploding as you watch it.
48) The halfway decent characters become idiots and jerks.
49) The most irritating characters somehow manage to be even MORE so.
50) You can actually tell which stupid jokes were added in the dub.
51) Continuity? What is this strange word?
52) If they're going to change it the first and the fifth times, why can't they change it every time? Consistency, people.
53) You have yet to see any couple besides the main one show any reaction to each other.
54) For that matter, you know the main couple was in love in the original, why aren't they showing any affection?
55) You ask a loyal fan of the original version what the dub is like, only to receive in return a shudder, an evil hiss, and an onslaught of curses directed towards everyone involved in the dubbing process.
56) When you are reading reviews posted on a forum by fans of the dub, you realize that all of them only use words with five letters or less.
57) The original is bloody and angst-ridden, yet as soon as the first frame of the dub appears on the screen, you notice there isn't a drop of red ink ANYWHERE.
58) Your computer insists that there is no more memory capacity after you get through your alphabetized and categorized list of things wrong with the dub. And this time it's not just being a pain, it's right!
59) People outside of your little anime ring wonder why the conversation suddenly switches to sodium nitrate, nitroglycerin, TNT, and digital countdowns whenever the title of the dubbed version is brought up.
60) The biggest, baddest, coolest villain suddenly sports a name like "Dr. Creampuff."
61) Realizing after seeing, and especially hearing, your favorite villainess in the dub (that is, after you've regained consciousness) is a hyena who's just inhaled helium.
62) Somebody has (obviously) been cut in half, but they're still in one piece when they hit the ground.
63) The animation has been cut out...
64) Suddenly, boys are starting to sound like girls.
65) Likewise, girls are now sounding like boys.
66) ...to the point it disrupts the narrative flow/affects the plot.
67) People say everybody's names wrong.
68) Somebody looks scared and the voice is laughing.
69) They change names so badly that they dubbed the last name to the first name, and the first name is now the last name (-.-; )
70) They don't think it's right if a boy and a girl are no more than friends, so they make them cousins.
71) Your I.M. Buddy blocks you when you mention the dubbed name.
72) You read all my reasons, agreed with me, and stopped watching it all together.
73) You pray everyday that Linda Ballentine will lose her voice, permanently, thus saving Sailor Moon from killing her.
74) You give up and decided to move to Japan (and are currently taking language classes), and thereby spare yourself the pain of ever having to watch another bad English dub.
75) People can't understand why you shun the dub like the plague.
76) People know you only watch the Japanese version, and they ask you to explain why the two female cousins are acting like lesbians.
77) The fourth-grade female lead sounds like she should be in high school.
78) You watch the dub only to see any details in the animation you might've missed while reading the subtitles--while the thing's muted, of course.
79) Your roommate/little siblings can't understand why you're screaming and rolling on the floor in pain as s/he's watching the dub.