Please read our very first story! Pretty Please with chocolate syrup, rainbow sprinkles and a cherry on top!!

The winners(Listing from first place to fifth place) of our poll are: Alex Winters, Arai Cade, Kurogasa Kururugi, Marilin Harris, and finally Kairi Angel.

Random Things you can read to kill time:

--The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

--The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

--One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

--A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to what?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On T-Rat (Military food):
Its not for Human Consumption, Animals and Military Use only... (Umnn yeah... isn't military also human)

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Sharpiequeen666, Contestshipper, uchihakiriko,beautifly-soul,DawnzNo1, 0x Emo Contestshipper x0, aqua-dragon28, CometCaster and GalaxyGirl

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy and past this to your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

96 percent of teenagers are obsessed with being normal and fitting in. If you are part of the 4 percent who say "Stuff you. I am who I am." then put this on your profile for the world to see

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If your favorite pairings are the ones that are rarely written, rarely thought of, hated or given a "WTF?!" by others, and you're PROUD of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Friends & Best Friends

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAM we really messed up

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number

BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.'
7. Finish all your scentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'
18. When leaving the zoo, starting running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'
19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.'

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Six Truths Of Life

1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it

3.The first truth is a lie

4. You're smiling now because you are an idiot

5. You soon will forward this on to another idiot

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face

Now send this to another idiot to fall for if you fell for it and I now you did.

You know you live in 2009 when...

1) You accidently enter your password into the microwave.

2) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3) The reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have a MySpace or screenname.

4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote than just press the buttons on the TV.

6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7) As you read this, you keep smiling and nodding to yourself.

8) As you read this, you think about sending it to all your friends.

9) And you were too busy to notice number 5 was missing.

10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12) Copy and paste this to your profile if you fell for it, and I know you did.

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

~NORMAL QUOTES. ~

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh harder.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile. (imagine what happens when i get more ^_^)

If you think up stories faster than you can write them and are too lazy to do that for most of them anyway, copy this to your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (5am)

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your friends can scare you by saying the word pink or cute wittle bunny rabbits copy this to your profile.

If you have ever annoyed people just for fun copy this to your profile.

If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile. (can you say paranoid?)

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone their not, copy and paste this into your profile.

EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this onto your profile

Too many teenagers have smoked or tried Marijuana, if you haven't, put this in your profile

If you want to see the world someday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you post this on profile.

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C., or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against racism COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

S.c.h.o.o.l: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives.

School for 12 years, College for 4 years, Work until you die.. Great.

Sometimes I wish I could be like the white crayon in the box. That way, no one would ever use me.

I don't smoke, there are cooler ways to die.

There is a "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, "us" in trust, and "if" in life.

And after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.

Oh so you can join the army when your 16, but you have to be 21 to drink?

If 2012 does begin to happen ..We'll just have Kanye interrupt it

And then God created Saturn ..and he liked it, so he put a ring on it.

People say you can't live without love.. I think oxygen is more important XD

The guy who discovered milk, what the hell was he doing with the cow?

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"

My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Perfect men are only fictional.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is man's way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

Smart is sexy.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies…

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Perfect men are only fictional.

Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Eggs and ham. A day's work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Never knock on Death's door... ring the bell and run away... he hates that.

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Someone's boring me. I think it's me.

Sorry I couldn't make it to church--I was busy practicing witchcraft.

Your face is like the sun--not because it is beautiful, but because I can only look at it for a minute.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot

Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.

God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.

For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Don’t play dumb with me, I'll always win.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.

There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.

I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. ..

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes..

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

STRESSED? You think I look stressed! I'm gonna KILL the next person who says I look stressed!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.

I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Things I'm not allowed to do in Ferryport Landing:

1. I will not tell Sabrina that the president of the United States is an Everafter

2. I will not quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail whenever I see King Arthur

3. It is not polite to ask Jake if he likes "older women"

4. I am not supposed to try and convince Daphne that Harry Potter is real

5. Mr. Canis is not a werewolf, and I should not compare him to Remus Lupin

6. Jokes about police officers being pigs aren't really funny

7. I will not, as a human, pretend to be a mime trapped inside a box while standing next to the magical barrier

8. Saying "I don't believe in fairies" will not make Puck or his minions die

9. I will not constantly mention living "happily ever after"

10. I will not talk about finding my Prince Charming, especially if said prince is within earshot

11. I will not throw beans on the ground and pretend that they were magic ones

12. I will not ask people to see their driver's licenses

13. Nottingham will not be amused if I forge a love letter from him to Heart

14. I will not sing songs from the movie Men in Tights whenever I see Robin Hood or his men

15. I will not steal from Baba Yaga and blame it on somebody else

16. I will not offer any "anti-aging" products to Everafters

17. It is not a good idea to cover walls with red handprints, even as a joke

18. I will not brag about all the places I've been recently

19. Pretending to discover magical items is not ok

20. I will not allow Rumpelstiltzkin to adopt children, nor will I hire him as a babysitter

21. I will not start rhyming random words to annoy Mirror

22. I will not give Elvis sausage, no matter what happens

23. I will not attempt a brain/heart transplant on the Scarecrow/Tin Man

24. I will not refer to Everafters by their real names in front of other people

25. I will not ask for autographs

26. I will not ask Everafters to refer me to their plastic surgeons

27. I am not allowed to negotiate a peace treaty with the Scarlet Hand

28. I will not use Mirror to do my hair and make-up in the morning

29. I will not ask known Scarlet Hand members to join a new organization called "The Blue Foot".

Bumper Stickers:

Any book worth banning is a book worth reading.

When it comes to thought, some people will stop at nothing.

If you can see this car, my cloaking device is broken.

My cat ate your fish.

I'm just driving this because the kids kept falling off the broom.

Jesus saves. Allah forgives. C'thulu thinks you'd make a good sandwich.

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

My other car is a BROOM!

HONK if you've never seen an Uzi shot out a car's back window.

Christianity: The belief that some Cosmic Jewish Zombie will make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so that he can remove an evil from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.

May the fetus you save be a Black Gay Wiccan Democrat.

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

Freya, goddess of Love and War: If you can't lay 'em, slay 'em!
Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

Politics is the most accurate word in our language, because "Poli" means "many", and "tics" means "blood sucking insects".

If "con" means "the opposite of", does Congress mean the opposite of progress?

If vegitarians only eat vegitables, what do humanitarians eat?

Power corrupts, and Absolute power is actually pretty neat.

-"I've got Black Magic, a hair trigger, and a short fuse. Bring it!"

-"Well, at least I shall die as I have lived. Completely surrounded by morons."

-"Stand back and don't let the magical backlash vaporize your internal liquids."

-"That's because your existence is wholly without merit. But I'll explain it anyway. Slowly."

-"You say I did wrong, but it always felt so right at the time..."
Black Mage of 8-bit Theatre

The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?'

'It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.'

'I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. . . . That can keep me awake for days..'

'Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.'

'Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?'

98 percent of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

Things to do in an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22)WHEN you get inside jump on everyone there.

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Aaron, Musa

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Aarizzle, Musizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Blue Lion, Purple Panther

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Daniel Oread, Amelia Oread

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom/dad's maiden/ gentleman(?) name): Reyaacia, Reymucia

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Yellow Sprite, Green Squirt

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom/dad's maiden(er gentleman?)name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Aylayma, Uymayaa

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Laura, SAME

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Rani, SAME

10. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fruit, and something that can go wrong) Apple Life, SAME

11. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (color, pirate accessory) Red Pegleg, SAME

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line. XD

That is how to keep a Retard busy.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice. Then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

And that, dear friends, is my signature on e-mail. No, you cannot steal it. No touching, no breaking, no looking. Ask my permission first. Or no cookies for you...

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

╔╗╔═╦╗ put this on your page
║╚╣║║╚╗ if you love to laugh
╚═╩═╩═╝

Be Against Abortion!
Month One
Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus’ arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this!

AARON

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies
You love jeans
Dogs are better than cats
It's hilarious when people get hurt
You've played with/against boys on a team
Shopping is torture
Sad movies suck
You own/ed an X-Box
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
You watch sports on TV
Gory movies are cool
You go to your dad for advice
You like going to high school football games
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards
Baggy pants are cool to wear
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
You love to go crazy and not care what people think
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth
Sleep with your socks on at night

Total: 22

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance. (CC: My MOM made me!!!)
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Total: 4(CC: Thank God!)

MUSA:

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

Total:8(GG: At least it's less then half.)

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Total:22

--If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

--If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

¶¶¶¶¶¶
_¶¶¶¶_¶¶¶¶11333¶¶
_¶¶1111¶¶¶¶_¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶_¶¶¶¶111133¶¶33¶¶
_¶¶¶¶111133¶¶¶¶_¶¶¶¶111111111¶¶¶¶¶_¶¶11111133¶¶¶¶§§¶¶
_¶¶¶¶¶3333§§§§¶¶1111111133333333¶¶¶¶¶1111133¶¶¶¶¶¶§§¶¶
_¶¶¶¶¶¶§§§§¶¶1111111133333333333333111133¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶§§¶¶
_¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶1111111333333333333333333333333¶¶¶¶¶¶§§¶¶
_¶¶¶¶11¶¶11111133333333333¶¶333333333333333¶¶¶¶§§¶¶
_¶¶¶1111¶¶1111113333¶¶¶¶333¶¶33333333333333333¶¶§§¶¶
_¶¶11¶¶¶¶¶¶11111133¶¶3333¶¶¶¶33¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶33333333333¶¶
_¶¶11¶¶¯¯¯¯¶¶11111133¶¶3333¶¶33¶¶¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¶¶3333333333¶¶
_¶¶1¶¶¯ððððððð¶¶111113333333¶¶¶¶ððððððððð𯯶¶33333333¶¶
_¶¶11¶¶ð𯯯¯ðððð¶¶11111133¶¶¶¶ð𯯯¯ððððððð𯯶¶3333333¶¶
_¶¶11¶¶ðð_ðððððð𶶶¶¶¶¶¶11¶¶ððð_ððððððð𯯶¶3333333§¶¶
_¶¶11¶¶ðððððððððððð¶¶11111111¶¶ððððððððððððð𯯶¶333333§§¶¶
_¶¶11¶¶ðððððððððððð¶¶11111111¶¶ððððððððððððð𯯶¶333333§§¶¶
_¶¶¶¶¶¶1111¶¶ðððððððð¶¶111111111111¶¶ðððððððððððð¶¶33333333§§¶¶
¶¶1111¶¶111111¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶1111111111111111¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶3333333333§§¶¶
¶¶11111¶¶11111111111111111¶¶¶¶¶¶111111113333333333333333333§§§¶¶
_¶¶33333331111111111111111¶¶¶¶¶¶11111111333333333333333333§§§§¶¶
_¶¶333¶¶331111111111111111¶¶¶¶11111133333333¶¶33333333§§§§§¶¶
_¶¶¶¶¶3333111111111111111111111133333333¶¶333333§§§§§§§§§¶¶
_¶¶¶333333311111111111111333333333333¶¶33§§§§¶¶§§§§§§¶¶
_¶¶333333333333333333333333333333333¶¶¶¶¶¶¶§§§§§§§¶¶
_¶¶3333333333333333333333333¶¶¶¶¶¶3§§§§§§§§§§§§¶¶
_¶¶¶¶33333333333333333333¶¶3333¶¶33§§§§§§§§§¶¶
_¶¶¶¶§§§33333333333333¶¶33§§§§§¶¶§§§§§§¶¶¶
_¶¶§§§§33333333333¶¶3§§§§§§¶¶§§¶¶¶¶_¶¶¶§§§§§¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶§§§§§§§¶¶
_¶¶3333§§§§§§§§¶¶_¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
_¶¶333333§§¶¶¶¶
_¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶

OMG it's an Igglybuff! I think... gah! It's adorable!!

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile! Do it I say! DO IT!

~Chinese Horoscope~

DO NOT CHEAT, OR IT WON'T WORK, AND YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN'T. TAKE 3 MINUTES TO TRY THIS. DO NOT READ AHEAD. IT'S WORTH IT...

1.Get pen & paper.

2.When choosing names, make sure they are REAL PEOPLE that you ACTUALLY KNOW.

3.Go w/ your FIRST INSTINCTS! (Very important for accurate results).

4.Scroll down ONE LINE AT A TIME. DON'T READ AHEAD

5.On a blank sheet of paper, write numbers 1-11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.

6.Next to NUMBERS 1 & 2, write down ANY 2 NUMBERS you want.

7.Next to NUMBERS 3 & 7, write down the names of TWO MEMBERS of the OPPOSITE SEX. (If gay, SAME SEX names)

8.Write down ANYONE'S NAME (friend or family) next to 4, 5, and 6. DON'T CHEAT.

9.Write down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11. 6. Finally, MAKE A WISH. Are you ready? ...

CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD, OR IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT.

HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME: The number of people that LIKE YOU is found in SPACE 2.

The person in SPACE 3 is the one YOU LOVE.

The person you LIKE but the relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7.

YOU CARE MOST about the person you put in SPACE 4 .

The person in SPACE 5 is the one that KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.

The person in SPACE 6 is YOUR LUCKY STAR.

The song in SPACE 8 matches w/ the person in SPACE 3.

The song in SPACE 9 is for the person in SPACE 7

The 10th SPACE tells you the MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND.

And 11 is the song telling you HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE. NUMBER ONE is your LUCKY NUMBER.

Repost this w/n AN HOUR of reading this. If you do, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.

Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Is that long??Well,hope you had a fun time reading this!!