ONLY AWESOME PEOPLE WOULD GET IT:

dear algebra,don't ask me to find your X,she's never comming back.and don't ask Y

dear math,stop trying to ask me to solve your problems,i have problems of my own

Please

Stop

Learning

Everything

'Silence is golden. duct tape is silver'

'Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good'

'Police pulls over a speeding car ;
COP: I’ve been waiting for you all day.
DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could'

'Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”'

'If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out'

'Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?'

'You: Do you want a piece of my mind?!
Me: Oh no, I couldn’t take the last piece.'

'When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

'Your birth cirtificate is an apology from the condom factory'

'Attempting to give a damn…
Unable to give a damn…
Stopping…
Process failed!
[Damn not given]'

'Question: Do you know who I am????
Answer: No, Why? Have you forgotten?'

'You: Go to Hell!
Me: See you there.'

'Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…'

'You: “Why are you here?”
Me: “Well… Heaven didn’t want me,
And hells afraid I’ll take over.”'

'Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”'

'Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow'

'I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.'

'Cashier: Hi can I help you?
Me: No I just stood in line for 10 minutes to say hi.'

'hate is a special kind of love that you give to the people you do not like'

'it is better to rule in fear than not to rule at all'

'*Bitchy girl accidentally spills something on you on purpose*

Bitchy girl: oh I'm so sorry it was an accident

Me: Yea, an accident. Like you '

'Aw don't think so hard. Wouldn't wanna burst that lonely brain cell you have'

Imagine living like a king someday... A single night without the ghosts in the walls...

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

Her name was Auroura

She was only five

This is what happened

When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk

Her mom was an addict

Her parents kept her

Locked in an attic

Her only friend was a little toy bear

It was old and worn out

And had patches of hair

She always talked to it

When no one's around

She lays there and hugs it

Not a peep of sound

Until her parents unlock the door

Some more and more pain

She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg

A scar on her face

Why would she be In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear

And softly cry's

She loves her parents

But they want her to die

She sits in the corner

Quiet but thinking," God, why?

Why is My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life

For a sad little kid

She'd get beaten and beaten

For anything she did

Then one night

Her mom came home high

The poor child was hit and slapped

As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly

Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy

One that she made

She thrust the blade

Right in her chest,

" You deserve to die

You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out

Leaving the girl slowly dying

She grabbed her bear

And again started crying

Police showed up

At the small little house

They quickly barged in

Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly

Opened a door

To find the sad little girl

Lying on the floor

It must have been bad

To go through so much harm

But at least she died

With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies!
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guy!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life
7. Money Money Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?8. We can do whatever we want

9. Does there have to be a reason? The dark side is fun! -Flails arms-

If you think Edward Cullen is nothing more than a gay sparkly vampire, copy and paste this onto your profile.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Most of the time...when you're crying, nobody notices your tears

Most of the time...when you're worried, nobody feels your pain

Most of the time...when you're happy, nobody sees your smile

But when you fart just one time...

Hush, little sister
Please don't cry
I wish I could be there
To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms
Bloodied and bruised
That's strange, little sister
Mine were like that too

I know you scream
When Daddy's there
Hush, little sister
I know you're scared

I can see the way
He's hurting you
I'm sorry, little sister
He did that to me too

I know that people
Ignore what's going on at home
That makes me angry, little sister
You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister
You wanna know why I'm not there?
It's a sad story, little sister
But people should care

You see, little sister
One day Daddy got high
You were asleep in your crib
So you didn't hear my cry

He screamed at me
And smashed my head against the door
While you slept, little sister
I died on the floor

You know, little sister
I don't think that I would have died
If someone had only bothered
To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister
Daddy's coming home
Quick, get into bed
You don't want him to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister
He's in a bad mood
Run while you can

Uh oh little sister
He's lifting his belt
Scream while you can, little sister
Call for help

Hush little sister
You don't need to cry
No one can hurt you
You're in my arms tonight.

--Unknown.

Copy and paste this on your profile if you hate child abuse