Hi. My name, is irrelevant. I am quintessentially British, minus the big teeth and weird accent that all American's assume we have that sounds vaguely like someone with a tampon stuck up their nose. So no, I don't sound like a cockney person with sinus problems, thanking you kindly.

One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them.

One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

Or, OR:

In the darkness, bang them.

Yep.