Hey Edward

Hey... *looks up from piano keys and squints* do I know you?

It's me, the parking warden. I towed your car last Monday

Oh... oh wow. So I don't move out of the 12 Items or Less isle in the supermarket and THIS is how you react?! *stands up and throws hands in the air* you're crazy

Hmmph *wrings hands aggressively* I actually didn't want to have to see you today but it's just that you left this locket in the towing bay

takes locket from the warden’s hands and stares at it* ah... This takes me back... *looks back to the warden, giving her a twisted uncomfortable smile* how did you find me?

I looked inside the locket... my accountant tells me I have no sense of personal boundaries... anyway, there was this photo of a boy inside it and it had this nifty tracking device so I followed it and found him. Nice guy. What's his name? Shelton? Sholto? Anyway, I tried to give it to him, but he seemed to think it would be funny if I gave it to you myself and then he made me wear this ridiculous cat burglar mask? I just don't know what to make of that guy.

Yes... His name is Sholto... *walks away from the warden as she's talking and stands at the window, staring mournfully* he is a nice guy... a strange one though *looks back at the warden and shakes his head* you look awful. Take the mask off. Look where did you find Sholto? I have to see him!

Hey! Don't walk away from me while I'm talking! That information will cost you.

Hang on...

Shouldn't you be able to find him with that tracking device? Do you have some superhuman ability that makes you unable to read gps? Just what are you?

Just name your price Warden. Yes I am unfortunately unable to use gps devices or any searching device as i am unable to understand it. And I just refuse to go to the library and be taught how to use a smart phone. I REFUSE IT! Tell me where he is now

And what I am... is something that even the likes of you cannot handle

seething* who are you? You speak as though you are from another time. Are you in some kind of weird club? What is this? I've made my decision. I won't let you near Sholto. How did you even meet such an irritating person in the first place?!

his eyes snap up, dark and stormy* what I am is your worst nightmare warden! You haven't dealt with the likes of me! I am worse than every ticket evader you have EVER dealt with! *he rushes at the warden and stops, his eyes set to kill* I will kill you for speaking badly of my one true love!

Ehhhhh stop breathing at me your so cold

That's it. I've had it with you. Be gone. (At that moment a cacophony of bells is heard along with a high pitched 'hii yahh') *Alice cartwheels into the room* Heyyyy every one! What's up?!

Ahhhhhhhhgggg!!!!!!! Who are you?! What do you have to be so happy about?! stop kicking me I hate you! I didn't come here for this. I'm leaving!

the warden jumps out of the window and onto Sholto*

Alice tries to speak but is so overwhelmed with joy so she simply stares at the warden with big eyes and grins* *Edward shakes his head at the wardens drama muttering 'good riddens' as she jumps out the window

Wait... I feel him here

Edward swan dives out the window, landing gracefully* Sholto my love!! Are you okay? *throws warden off*

Ungh hey Edward *Sholto tries to look as attractive as he can as he tries to escape from underneath the limp but still breathing body of the warden* why dis she just fall out of the window? She's so unpredictable, when I met her last week she covered by herself in oil and tried to escape through the drain pipe.

I think I heard her say something about how she hates doors. Doors and traffic.

Oh she didn't fall. She threw herself out the window... very haphazardly may I add.

Im not surprised by the oil. A few weeks ago I had 13 items in the 12 items lane and she just lost it!

She's been cruising past my house on her tandem bike for the last two weeks waiting for me to come outside so she can spit on me but she's on it by herself so she's just wiggling all over the drive way

Omg Edward who is she? Should we help her up? She's groaning in a really annoying way I kind of want to just leave her

I think that's her tandem bike sticking upside down in those trees

I think she might have been trying to jump from the window and on to the bike

But it's about a hundred meters away I don't know how she thought she could do it

God just leave her. Don't want to touch her. Just leave her be for a moment. She's been in the Vietnam War or at least withheld parking rules at the base... she càn take it

I'm not surpised thar she missed the bike have you seen her eyes? One of them is very crooked

And how did she think she could grab the bike even if she DID get to it? She has a HOOK for a HAND!

Oh wow! I couldn't see it under her rain poncho.

I honestly don't know if she'll be ok she's just slithering on the ground and calling herself a mermaid

Stop it you'll hurt yourself!

the warden looks at Sholto and glares at him from beneath her cat burglar mask

"You'll never catch me!" Screeched the warden

We aren't trying to, we just want to help you

"Mmph blegh"