NOVEMBER 8th, 2012

My name is Jake, though it's not actually my real name. (It's Dimitri).

I really love writing, playing Minecraft (and a shit load of other video games), hanging out with my friends, playing games WITH my friends, and reading. That's why I joined the FanFic community, to share my stories with everyone.

I already have a ton of stories that I already made, but expect a lot more fresh content soon! (Plus, a lot of the stories I made aren't really for minors and have some profanity so I'd probably edit those anyway).

I have so much more that I'd love to share but I'm too excited now to tell ya. Bye!

--Dimitri Roslavik/Jake Ro

DECEMBER 3rd, 2012

Well hi! I'm currently working on a new story called "MCCTF-Ninja's Recognition". Basically it's about a class that errbody gets pissed off about getting killed by because it's so OP and awesome. Basically it's disowned for being awesome. But 3 players decide to join one lone ninja on a journey together for redemption after accusations of betrayal. First chapter will be uploaded in little pieces so please don't get mad that the first chapter isn't finished yet. I'll tell you when it is, don't worry :)

--Dimitri Roslavik/ Jake Ro

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be Goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. Story of my life, I hear it from EVERYONE!

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, so I MUST be a wussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over-controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over-controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a kilt.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. Because I want to be a pediatrician!

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT; I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall, blond, blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I'm FRENCH so I must have tasted SNAILS and FROG LEGS and liked it!

I'm a PACIFIST so I MUST be a peace-loving hippy thong.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED!!!

Update 3:

Currently working as Intel Officer for IW. Any Ice Warriors PM me for requests and I'll try to gather as much intel as possible. ICE WARRIORS ONLY. MUST VERIFY USERNAME AND BE A PART OF ICE WARRIOR ARMY.

Well. Now that that is out of the way, here's the scoop on what I've been up to so far:

-Reading an awesome story called "Hunting a Dream" by Walkman355 [READ IT NAO IF YOU LIKE L4D]

-Working on a whole new Frigmentaeli story

-Gathering intel for IW Army

-Working on school-work.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienal, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, The-Good-Die-Alone, Daughter of a Renegade, Littlewhisker, Snowdancer56, MoonAquaAngel, warriorfreak, jasminesolo, Protector of Canon2, (this goes for all of us) TheThroppSistersandCompany, muffinlover101, AmaraBellaGirl, Little Christian, BML1997, aleixia1012, Wazzella, Bellykid5, Rohoblance18

My Boy Side:

You love hoodies. I like hoodie jackets. Does that count?

You love jeans. I prefer Khakis.

Dogs are better than cats. FUCK CATS #DOGLOVER4LIFE

It's hilarious when people get hurt. Honestly, it depends on who is getting hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team. Of course I have, my whole soccer team is just boys.

Shopping is torture. Especially when my mum makes me buy new shoes when my shoes are perfectly fine.

Sad movies suck. If somebody even brings up The Pokemon movie I will cry my eyes out.

You own/ed an X-Box My games are where I get a lot of my inspiration.

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. I was fucking ADDICTED to Hot Wheels!

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. I'm not even gonna lie.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. Yes, yes, and no.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. God I fucking hated Power Rangers.

You watch sports on TV. Uh no.

Gory movies are cool. You mean like A-Team, Scream, Saw, The Expendables 2 and pretty much every Horror movie? Yeah, you bet your ass they're cool.

You go to your dad for advice. Yeah a lot of times.

You own like a trillion baseball caps. Nope.

You like going to high school football games. I hate going to games. They are TOO FUCKING LOUD.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. Naw.

Baggy pants are cool to wear. NO. STOP. NO SAGGING!

It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. Sleepovers aren't fun.

Green, black, red, blue or silver is one of your favorite colors. Black or Red.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think. Random Jock Asshole:"Lol you're so weird why do you wear Khakis and Polos to school every day nerd" Me: "FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT!"

Sports are fun. Soccer is my one and only true love.

Talk with food in your mouth. I do it without even knowing and I get so embarassed.

Total: Medic Voice: I HAVE NO IDEA!

Your Girl Side:

You wear lip gloss/stick. WAT

You love to shop. NO

You wear eyeliner. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I DO THAT

You wear the color pink. PINK IS FOR MEN IT'S FABULOUS

Go to your mom for advice. Probably the same that I go to my dad for advice.

You consider cheerleading as a sport. As long as you'll admit that NASCAR Is a sport.

You hate wearing the color black. I don't hate it but I like wearing tan kahkis and blue polos better.

You like hanging out at the mall. What, so I can spend 5 hours looking at stuff that I know I can't afford to buy?

You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. Nope.

You like wearing jewelry. It's a waste of money just to put a diamond around your neck.

Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe. Oh yeah girlfriend, I just love wearing skirts -.-

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. What server is this shopping you speak of?

You don't like the movie Star Wars. LIKE HELL I DON'T

You were/are in to gymnastics/dance? I went to YMCA for my birthday and did nothing but jump into a pool of soft fluffy dice cubes.

It takes you around/more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make up. Listen, okay, I don't do make-up, but I'm so tired in the morning that I usually spend like 30 minutes in the shower just because my brain is not functional in the morning and I am incapable of basic motor functions.

You smile a lot more than you should. I almost never smile unless something is funny.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. Why would I have 10 pairs of shoes?

You care about what you look like. LOL FUCK YOU I WEAR WHAT I WANT

You like wearing dresses when you can. Oh my god girlfriend dresses are like totally amazing and awesome -/-

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. I use deodorant after I shower and after gym and that's about it.

You love the movies. Well, I like going there with my family but we almost never go anymore.

Used to play with dolls as a little kid. THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES ;_;

Like putting make up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. Uhm.. no?

Like being the star of everything. THE SPOTLIGHT IS TOO BRIGHT FOR MY LIKING.