ok...

Let's see...

Here's some funny crap

"Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you."

"No body puts Baby in the corner"

"Don't fall for some one unless their willing to catch you"

"The pen is mightier than the sword."

"if you really love something set it free if it comes back than its yours, if it doesn't than it was never meant to be"

"Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap and can always be replaced"

"I don't need no money, fortune, or fame. I got all the riches baby, one man can claim"

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."

"There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed. Some forever, not for better, some have gone and some remain."

"Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?"

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime you just might find, you get what you need"

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone."

"Some people think hanging on makes us stronger but really its learning to let go"

"My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen,"

"Good friends will pick you up when your down, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh"

"Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry"

"Good friends will bail you out of jail, BEST FRIENDS will be sitting right there next to you going, 'Damn That was freakin awesome',"

"Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"

"Good friends will help you with your crack addiction, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you,"

"Good friends will help you move, BEST FRIENDS will help you move a dead body"

"Good friends will let you dance with your boyfriend, BEST FRIENDS will yell 'No She's Mine'"

"Good friends don't let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid things alone"

"Good friends will buy you lunch, BEST FRIENDS will eat yours."

"You don't know why he chopped off his hand! Maybe he had a callous on his finger. Don't judge people!"

"A best friend can look at you with a smile on your face and ask 'What's wrong?'"

"It takes a minute to like some one, an hour to have a crush, and a day to fall in love, but it takes a lifetime to forget!"

"Love is complicated, so I'll just support fictional love and fall in love with fictional characters. They'll never break my heart"

"I live in a world where unicorns eat rainbows and poop butterflies,"

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

"A true friend is someone who will still ride in a car with you no matter how many times you almost killed them"

"Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong?"

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."

"Join the Vampires we have Edward Cullen,"

"They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people."

"There is nothing to fear but fear itself"

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils"

"It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird"

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling"

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn beer"

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity"

"Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?"

"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking"

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids."

"Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?"

"I forgot to remember"

"I forgot to wake up"

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it but only you can feeli it"

"Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

"Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile"

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love"

"Everything here is eatible. I am eatible, but, that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies"

"It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it"

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one."

"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway"

"If you can read this, thank a teacher"

"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body."

"I am not a speed reader. I am a speed understander"

"A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen, is that you can take it to bed with you."

"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library"

"There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them"

"When I got my library card, that was when my life began"

"Children are made readers on the laps of their parents"

"Classic. A book which people praise and don't read"

"Suicide hotline...Please hold"

"Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel"

"Don't touch the red button"
"Ooh, what does this button do?

"So...you're a cannibal?"

"Do stairs go up or down"

When people say, 'I’m so tired it's not even funny' or 'my head hurts so much it's not even funny', why would it even be funny in the first place?"

"No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you."

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young"

"If you get caught looking just remeber he was looking back"

"A day without sunshine is like...you know...night"

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to"

"Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!"

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese"

"Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway."

"you say physco like it's a bad thing"

"I told your boyfriend he was gay, and he hit me with his PURSE"

"My friends are the kind of people who will spend hours trying to drown a fish" (and when I told my friend this quote her response was "But you can't drown a fish." enought said)

Brunette: I was listening to Eminem last night
Blonde: You were listening to candy?
(no offense meant to blondes.)

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but two lefts do"

"As I said before I never repeat myself"

"I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therfore I'm perfect"

"This is Bob, you can't see him but he thinks you have some serious problems. Right Bob?"

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those you want things to happen, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened"

Here's more

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

You Know You Live In 2008 When You...

1.)You accidentally enter you password on a microwave.
2.)You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.)As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you keep reading this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.)And you were to busy to notice number 5
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.)Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did!

You know you live in 2007 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace/Facebook.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You know you did.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you post this on profile.

If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it, post on profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy onto profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy onto profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

if you've ever walked into a wall b4 copy this into your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever spent hours just thinking about Twilight and alternate situations copy and past this on your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your prof

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like Sharpies, penguins, cookies, close friends, MSN, air plane glue, and the internet, copy this to your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since1900

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Cullen: Luckier than you since 2008

AV is Addicted to Vampires

LES is Love Edward Syndrome

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

WBWAVS is Wishing Bella Was A Vampire Syndrome

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when..

1) You have read both Twilight and New Moon at least 3 times.

2) You own both above mentioned books.

3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and
you want to see it anyway.

4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyer’s web site.

5) You have reread a lot of these pages.

6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.

7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.

8) At one point or another, you have had a screen name/username that says
something about Twilight or its characters.

9) You constantly count the days until Eclipse comes out.

10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a
missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read
them.

11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it,
because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".

12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight
is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.

13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story (and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.

14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk
about.

15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for
Eclipse to come out, you almost cried.(AN: this one kinda depends on when
you read the first two books, I guess!)

16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you
like best.

17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something
about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.

18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories,
you never get tired of it.

19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing
you read.

20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a
vampire.

21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.

22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.

23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people
who don't understand it just haven't read the book.

24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought
it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.

26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information

27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns

28). You're keeping track of all the "Eclipse Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean

29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website

30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series

31). Your screen saver reads "Eclipse: August 7, 2007"

32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition

33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it

34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books

35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them

36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines

37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die

38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care

39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 7th!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco

40). You're more excited about the release of Eclipse than anything to do with Harry Potter

41). When you found out that Breaking Dawn wasn't coming out until 2008, you have a mental breakdown

42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown

43). You noticed there is no number 25

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

XXX

If you think Mike should be run over by a bus copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that bus should also take out Eric copy and paste this into your profile

If you also think said bus should take out Jacob while it's at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

XXX

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

XXX

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am or later reading the Twilight books, copy and paste this onto your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your proflie.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a constant enemy, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever quoted Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw New Moon at the wall when Jane attacked Edward

ok. Ya there's a lot but it's funny