Let's see, I could tell you all about me, but, then i'd have to kill you.
That is if my bio doesn't bore you to death first, but for the brave, feel free to read on. However I should advise those with serious medical conditions to stop reading HERE. Alright, now that I have succesfully captured everyone's attention let the fun begin...

Name: You can call me Jen.

Age: Like I would really tell you, come on I'm not that stupid! Besides, I don't want my fanfiction to be based on my age. For now let's just say, I'm old enough to realize not everything is as it seems, and too young to really care.

Height: Alright, i'll give this one to you, i'm 5'5.

Eyes: F.Y.I.-They say that the eyes are the portal to ones soul. If this is true then my soul is emerald green with dark to mediun brown highlights.

Hair: Well, that's kind of hard to describe, I guess the best way to put it would be, that I have golden light brown hair. Contradictory, I know, but I guess you could say I have both blonde and brown hair.

Well, I think that's enough about me for the present, for those of you brave souls who are still with me in the land of the living I think that i'll end this bio off with two of my favorite poems by one of my favorite authors, Robert Frost, and some of my favorite quotes.

Poetry

1.)The Telephone

"When I was just as far as I could walk
From here today,
There was an hour
All still
When leaning with my head against a flower
I heard you talk.
Don't say I didn't, for I heard you say--
You spoke from that flower on the windowsill--
Do you remember what it was you said?"

"First tell me what it was you thought you heard."

"Having found the flower and driven a bee away,
I leaned my head,
And holding by the stalk,
I listened and I thought I caught the word--
What was it? Did you call me by my name?
Or did you say--
Someone said 'Come'--I heard it as I bowed."

"I may have thought as much, but not aloud."

"Well, so I came."

2.)THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

(By the way, I strongly reccommend his works, they're terriffic, and i'm not just saying that because he's one of my favorite authors.)

Quotes

“To feel you must be senseless,
To win, be defenceless.
To be saintly you must sin
And to finish you begin.”

From “First and Last” by Mary Moningrad,
an 18th Century witch

"People, some good, some bad, but in the long run we come out even." - Jan Hittle

"Many an ancient lord's last words have been, 'You can't kill me because I've got magic aaargh" - Terry Pratchett

"The guy of your dreams IS out there, he probably just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions."--?

"True friends stab you in the front."--?

"Winter is nature's way of saying 'Up yours'"--?

"DO NOT APPROACH DRAGON, for he thinks you are crunchy and good with ketchup."--?

"You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing."--?

"You know it's a bad day when you get out of bed and miss the floor"--?

Albert Einstein:
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who no longer pauses to wonder and stand in rapt awe, is as good as dead."

“Some men see things as they are and say why. I see things that never were and say why not?”

“A melancholily! Oh what foul knave
Could offer such treachery to thee?
Thy world shall be a realm of death
‘Til each petal hast wilted and born its blood
On that final grave.”

Melissa Moonbrave “Lost to Humanity.”

One SONG can spark a moment
One FLOWER can wake the dream
One TREE can start a forest
One BIRD can herald spring
One SMILE begins a friendship
One HANDCLASP lifts a soul
One STAR can guide a ship at sea
One WORD can frame the goal
One VOTE can change a nation
One SUNBEAM lights a room
One CANDLE wipes out darkness
One LAUGH will conquer gloom
One STEP must start each journey
One WORD must start a prayer
One HOPE will raise our spirits
One TOUCH can show you care
One VOICE can speak with wisdom
One HEART can know what is true
One LIFE can make a difference.
-Author unknown

“I won't forget today;
The sun is bright, the sky is blue, yeah.
I won't forget to pray.
Day is night, the world is new, yeah.
The pain will go away
In another year or two,
In a hundred years or two,
In a thousand years or two.”
- The Clarks

“Hey You”
"To err is human, to really screw things up requires a computer" - Anonymous

"So, who's the U-Boat Commander?" - Risky Business

"I am handicapped, I'm psychotic!" - Johnny Dangerously

"No, no, great shot. You hit the beach." - Caddyshack

"Looks like ol' Chuck's a wild tom cat on the prowl. Meeooooowwwww..." - Grumpy Old Men

When we were young the future was so bright,
The old neighborhood was so alive,
And every kid on the whole damn street
Was gonna make it big and not be beat
Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn,
The kids are grown up but their lives are worn
How can one little street swallow so many lives?

Cold as winter, strong as stone;
She faced the darkness all alone.
A silver goddess; a reflection.
A mirage; a recollection.
No return; no turning back.
The past is gone, the future, black.
Serpents gather in their nest,
And she stands above the rest.
Shadows hunt; she hunts the shadow.
The moon is risen, she stands below.
She views her world through the eyes of others.
Black and white; there are no colors,
As she looks down upon a shattered youth,
A shattered mirror shows a shattered truth.

“None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives.”
-Kathleen Norris, Hands Full of Living

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
-William Jennings Bryan

“It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate waiting them on this earth.”
-Joseph Conrad, Chance

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”
-William Shakespeare

"After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were.
After the second, you see things as they are not.
Finally, you see things as they really are, which is the most horrible thing in the world."
- Oscar Wilde.

'Hate the sin, but love the sinner?'"

“Those that have love and lost, never really lose, for long after the person we love has passed the love that brought us there remains.”
"I have opinions of my own- strong opinions- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush

"Half this game is 90% mental."
-Danny Ozark

"A bank is where they offer you an umbrella in fair wheather and ask for it back when it begins to rain."
-Robert Frost

"What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Clause? Claustraphobic!"
-Unknown

“I have lived through the war, and lost much. I know what’s worth the fight, and what is not.
Honor and courage are matters of the bone, and what a man will kill for, he will sometimes die for, too.
For the sake of love alone, would I walk through fire again.”
“Fiery Cross” Diana Gabaldon
Those are just a few of my quotes.
Rest Assured there are many more where they came from.
P.S.-If you like my works review me on fictionpress.com-(Jenkid11)!

Until next time, Your loveable, and delightfully sarcastic author,
~Jen~