Hello,

my names Elizabeth though I really don't like that name so i can be called; lizzie, liz, lillie, lil, el or even betty though if you called me that i may have to kill you lol.

I love reading and like writing though i'm not very good at it, however i am exited to be having a go at it anyway. Please review me and give me al the bad points and good points (if any lol) of whatever i have written.

I like art and cooking and all those sorts of creative thingies. I also love swimming and tennis and enjoy all sorts of extreme sports such as scuba diving, abseiling, rock climbing, conoeing,paragliding etc

I am a air cadet and also attend girll guides thought i would really like to be a scout as well!

ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you spend a lot of time wishing Hogwarts existed, copy and paste this into your account.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile.

Copy and paste into your profile if you think Tonks and Remus should've lived.

The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!

Copy and paste into your profile if you actually HAVE hit someone with a dictionary

This is weird, but interesting! If you
can Raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too Can you raed
this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny
iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit
a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it
COPY AND PASTE ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT --

If you noticed that in Harry Potter Fred was saying about what he would do for his wedding but died, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think sweets are like magnets when they are sitting right next to you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have fanfiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think of ideas for a story and more than half the time they turn out rubbish, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate bullying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want wings and powers, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have/wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If your immature then paste this in your profile

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rymes. Crazy is when you hear the voice in your head. Crazy is when stare at the ceiling for three hours thinking of what to put in the next chapter of your fanfiction and then forget what book it's based on. Crazy is when you run into an inanimate object, then kicked it, and said "Stupid ...!", then, later on, you went back to whatever you kicked, and apoligized to it. Crazy is seeing lamas and camels on a farm in P.A. and nobody believing you. Crazy is when you check the sky to see whether the flock are up there from Maximum Ride. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you are against racism, copy this onto your profile. THE ONLY RACE IS HUMANITY!

If you LOVE reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want this dang war to end, copy and paste it into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a silent room over something that happened yesterday, copy and paste this into your profile.

You know you're a writer...

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine. (In my case, it's more like chicken and cows)
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you worship English 101.

The Rules of Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin

32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

35) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

36) I do not have an Edward Cullen Patronous

37) I will not lick Trevor

38) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey"

39) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

40) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

41) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

42) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

43) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

44) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbine students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

READ AND PUT IT ON YOUR PROFILE

In a dark room there is a girl with dark eyes and dark hair,

she's crouched in a corner, and her cheeks are slick with

tears...She decided today to end it...she couldn't take the

things people said and did, and so she decided to end it.

Her wrist is bleeding blood red tears...

stupid, fat and ugly, the names she was called running through her head...

she decided to end it...as you read this she's ending it...with death.

STOP BULLYING.

FAKE VS. REAL

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

A guy and a girl were speeding over 100km on a motorcyle.

Girl: Slow down!

Guy: No this is fun!

Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you. Now slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gave him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.

In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.

Two people were on it and only one survived.

The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.

Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.

If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile(almost? i can barly read the letters on my keybored!)

Put this on your page
If you like to laugh!

No one is afraid of heights, they are afraid of falling.
No one is afraid to play, they are afraid to lose.
No one is afraid of the dark, they are afraid of what's in it.
No one is afraid to say "I love you", they are afraid of the response

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

GRYFFINDOR:

[x] You’ve never done illegal drugs.
[x] You have a lot of friends. (sort of)
[x] You get along with everyone.
[x] You haven’t made fun of someone for at least two months.
[x] You love soccer.
[ ] You love baseball.
[x] You’re into writing and art.
[x] Favourite music genre is pop rock.
[x] You believe in "innocent until proven guilty" theory. (sometimes not though, depends on the person)
[x] One of your favourite colours is red or gold. (gold is sort of like yellow)
[x] Good grades at school.
[ ] One of the worst things you can do is lie.
[x] You plan on going to college/university.
TOTAL: 11

HUFFLEPUFF:
[x] You’re content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[ ] You like to follow trends.
[x] Politics suck.
[x] You love to swim.
[ ] Water polo is awesome.
[ ] Pink is one of your favourite colours.
[ ] Black is morbid & depressing.
[x] You’re an optimist.
[ ] You’re completely straight edged.
[x] You’re very emotional.
[ ] Rap, R&B, & hip-hop is your favourite music genre.
[ ] You don’t believe in going steady at a young age.
[ ] You’ve made fun of at least one person this week.
TOTAL: 6

RAVENCLAW:
[ ] You’re depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theatre & arts.
[ ] Sports suck.
[ ] You’re shy. (getting over that)
[x] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.
[ ] Hate is completely unneeded.
[ ] Indie is your favourite genre of music.
[x] Every once in awhile you have little anger outbursts.
[ ] Lying is sometimes okay.
[x] Blue is one of your favourite colours.
[ ] Serious is better than funny.
TOTAL:5

SLYTHERIN:
[x] There’s at least one person you hate.
[x] Basketball is a good sport.
[x] Football is amazing.
[x] Black is a cool colour.
[ ] You’ve lied about something serious.
[ ] You’re a very deep person.
[ ] You have considered suicide.
[x] Very loyal.
[ ] You like metal.
[x] They make school seem more important than it is.
[x] You’re scared to grow up. - I like being a kid :D
[ ] You’ve done drugs in the past month.
[ ] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[ ] You have trust issues.
[ ] Guilty until proven innocent.

TOTAL:7

House Gryffindor all the way!

This is a tribute to all who died fighting Tom Marvolo Riddle

To James and Lily,
Who died at the beginning,
To Remus and Dora,
Who will never know their son,
To Severus,
Who isn't actually all bad,

To Dumbledore,
Who was as human as Harry,
To Sirius,
who was punished for what he didn't do
To the hundreds that died needlessly,
To the many that died 'for the greater good',
To these brave souls I raise my glass,
May they forever Rest In Peace...

In Remembrance...

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor

without all the red and gold crap

...In Remembrance to Fred Weasley...

Who fought bravely to the very end

And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half

And will loyally await his soul mate and brother

with many jokes

he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby….

Who was more free and full of love

than any elf, and most humans

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

the last real Marauderer

who was not just a wonderful father

a incredible husband and brave hero

as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks.…

who died for ‘the greater good’

and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive

and scared the crap out of some kids too

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore.…

whose past and wisdom confused us

whose seeming betrayal shocked us

but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end..

despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey….

who we really didn’t know too well

but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war

so he must’ve done something good

besides stalking Harry

...In Remembrance of Lily Evans...

Who never knew her son

But who's sacrifice was the greatest

And love for her son was eternal

...In Remembrance of James Potter...

The father Harry never had

But was with him every time Quidditch played a part

And loved Lily unconditionally and forever

...In Remembrance of Sirius Black...

A true Marauder

With a frickin' awesome flying motorbike

And was murdered to save those he loved

…In Remembrance of Hedwig….

Harry's actual first friend

who lived and died soaring

Why did you have to die?

The Stairs
Tripped UP
Ever
Have
You
Page if
Your
On
Put This

Put this on your Profile.
If you Love Music
(o)

.••) .•) .•).•) .•)
(.• (.•(.•(.•(.•(.• Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, died, or is living with cancer

Please read-true story (not me)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is retard cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

What's your element?

Fire

You have a short temper
You often act on your emotions without thinking first
You are very competitive
You like to play with fire
You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all
You prefer warm weather over cold weather
You often lose control over yourself
You can be quite reckless
You sometimes hurt people without realizing it
People have often called you insane

5/10

Water

You have a calm, laid-back personality
You like to go to the beach
You rarely get angry
When you do get angry, you know how to control it
You think before you act.
You are good at breaking up fights.
You are a great swimmer.
You like the rain.
You can stay calm in stressful situations.
You are generous.

3/10

Earth

You are physically strong.
You have a close connection with nature.
You don't mind getting dirty.
You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
You could easily survive in the wild
You care about the environment.
You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.
You rarely get depressed.
You aren't afraid of anything.
You prefer to have a strict set of rules.

6/10

Air:

You have a free spirit.
You hate rules.
You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
You hate to be restrained.
You are independent.
You are quite intelligent.
You tend to be impatient.
You are easily distracted.
You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.
You wish you could fly.

10/10

I am Air, then Earth, then Fire and lastly Water. It's funny because in my primary school we were in houses of the elements and I was air :D x

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

To maintain a healthy level of insanity

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

"An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

"Pondering the meaning of life is a waste of your life. Who really cares?"

"The good die young, but us bitches live forever."

"Enunciate! Mark went on a lark, after dark, in Central Park." "Damn hope he's got a gun."

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