Hi I'm new

Just signed up recently in fact so any and all advice on how to write a story would be the absolute best thing ... PLEASE

NOTE I'm one of those people who's best ideas come when bouncing them of other peoples ideas

[ON MY KNEES BEGGING]

That being said any and all ideas on what you think will happen in my stories or what you would have done instead i would love to have as i go along

[ON MY KNEES BEGGING AND GIVING YOU PUPPY DOG EYES]

I don't mind comments on how my writing sucked [so long as they say what I could do to fix it]

I don't mind people saying how they would have writing it less dialog more dialog how they thought it should of gone [all comments wanted]

I love it when people point out any missed spelling and grammar mistakes

I encourage this in fact as it will help me get better in my writing. Also if i got a name or any piece of info wrong concerning characters [NOT MY OC's] let me know if I've got it wrong so as i can correct it

NOTE I will let you know in my authors notes [at the start of each chapter/stories] if i will manipulate info on characters to my benefit and the benefit of my stories

[ON MY KNEES BEGGING AND GIVING YOU PUPPY DOG EYES AND WHIMPERING]

This is a true story

A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your Kindness will be rewarded.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

"They hurt her"

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't re-post this saying "they hurt her" then Carmen will get you,either from a sewer,the toilet,the shower,or when you go to sleep,you'll wake up in the sewer,in the dark,then Carmen will come and kill you

So, let me get this straight...Kelsey Grammer can end a 15 year marriage over the phone, Larry King can be on divorce #9, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage, Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with EVERYONE. Yet, the idea of same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage? Really? Re-post to your page if you are proud to support equal rights

This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this! Cause, I could read this passage perfectly.

I actually found this endearing.

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Girls Don't Realize These Things.

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

"This pact is meant to hold together the remaining fans of Dragon Ball/Z/GT. Whether you like the FUNimation dub or the Ocean dub, whether you like the Manga or the Anime, whether you say 'Saiyan' or 'Saiyajin', we must stand strong and united, for we are the last of our dying race. And all those who are true fans, post this up on your page, forever proclaiming your Dragon Ball heritage. Be proud, for you are a true Saiyan!"

Honorary Member of The Book of Log.

Position: Log Worshiper

If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile

Possible Book of Log Positions:

Log Worshiper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapters) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still recommended.

Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is ineligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five saplings.

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten saplings.

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant twenty-five saplings.

If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.

and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'

-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'

-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.

you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'

-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'

-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.

-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'

-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

now I have Just found that there are some serious A-holes out there to day seriously who leaves a message so foul that someone who is a wonderful writer almost decided to delete all their stories off their profile

that writer is such a strong person that they decided to not let these things get to them at the last minute and not delete their stories

re-post this if you think flamers such as they should just keep their opinions to them selves if they can't say anything nice or use constructive criticisms with out hurting any body to that point

DanceOfTheCrystalRose1993

valid points about Harry Potter Characters (copied from the profile of Jessiikaa15)

Albus Dumbledore: I see Dumbledore as a highly manipulative bastard. In cannon, he set Harry up 'Like a pig for slaughter' as Snape said, he could have saved so many lives if he was honest but instead he wanted Harry on a certain path and ruined many lives. He also had a hand in creating 'Voldemort', he saw was Tom Riddle was like and where he grew up and instead of helping the boy, who at the time was only 11, he held him in suspicion and allowed him to be sent back to the hated and dreaded orphanage every year. Dumbledore had a responsibility, as headmaster, to protect and aid all students that passed through his halls and he fails horrendously.

We see the Philosophers Stone, a priceless magical artifact which is practically a myth, be brought in and hidden in a school for its protection because someone wants to steal it. Nicolas Flammel has had the stone for centuries and this is the first time its been threatened? I think not some how, but yet we see it in the first book and film, then three 11 yr old's not only find out whats hidden on the 3rd floor but also manage to get down there to save the stone when their claims are ignored. These are children that two have only just found out about the wizarding world, they pass through tasks that just happen to play to their strengths? I smell a test! And where is the great Albus Dumbledore during this, he had a letter from the ministry and leaves knowing he had a priceless magical artifact in his school, but not only that, Dumbledore is a master legilimence and he didn't realise the Darkest wizard of the century was just chillin' on the back of one of his teachers head? Then when it's all over he swoops in and saves the day making him seem like a hero when really he should have prevented the entire situation.

Second year was a joke.

He knew who the heir of Slytherin was and he had suspicions on what he had created but he did nothing. Plus he has all the portraits reporting to him but none of them or himself noticed Ginny writing messages on the walls or acting at all suspiciously? Again he leaves the school knowing Lucius Malfoy would have done anything to get rid of him and leaves a riddled clue for Harry, allowing a 12 year old child to go down and face a basilisk. 3rd year makes me angry. He is chief warlock, he could have gotten Sirius a trial, he was the head of the wizard court and was considered the greatest wizard in the world, people would listen to him but he just sent 13 year olds back in time to complete an near impossible mission.

The whole goblet incident was stupid. Harry didn't enter willingly so how can he be in a magically binding contract? Being only 14 he should have been offered more help with the tasks but he was left as the school turned his back on him. And how is it that Dumbledore doesn't notice one of his 'dearest friends' isnt actually the man he believes him to be, Mad eye Moody was really Barty Crouch in polyjuice but the great Albus Dumbledore is oblivious as ever, then at the end of the year instead of demanding veritaserum or a peincieve he allows the minister to say Harry is lying with leads to the 5th year.

Some many things were wrong with this that its almost impossible to put in to words. Leaving Harry in the dark was one of the stupidest things he could have done and then with the hearing which could have been solved again with a few drops of veritaserum but no, Dumbledore swoops in and gets Harry off and leaves the teen on his own. Then Umbridge in the school where Harry was subjected to slander and a blood quill, but nothing was done. Then he takes the rap for the DA because the stupid toad didn't teach them anything and leaves the school in her hands. He makes Harry take occlumency with someone who openly hates him, he doesn't tell Harry what the connection is just sticks him with Snape and then when the whole DoM indecent happened he dumps the prophecy on Harry not half an hour after he lost one of the only people that could be considered family.

6th year he didn't actually teach Harry anything that could help him, he could of actually told the boy how to destroy the horcrux's, where they were and what was going on but he decides that Harry should be kept in the dark and allows the teen to watch as someone he hates kills his mentor on the astronomy tower. The final year, somehow even beyond the grave Dumbledore is still manipulating peoples lives, he sets up Harry's departure from the Dursley's through Snape and tells Snape what to do even as he is only a portrait. He told Snape that he had to tell Harry that he needed to die and appeared in limbo to congratulate Harry 'you brave wonderful man', even in death he doesn't explain anything to Harry.

Overall I don't like Dumbledore.

Rant over.

Harry Potter: I believe Harry is one of the most complex characters in the entire series. I think that his upbringing had a much bigger effect on him than even he realised, and that it changed a lot of things that could have been. From as far back as he could remember, he had been told that he is nothing but an unwanted freak, he's been locked up in a small cupboard and made to work for meagre offerings while he watches his cousin be adored and spoiled. Everything bad that happened to the Dursleys was somehow Harry's fault, and I think, in an effort to somehow fit in with the image his 'family' was trying to create out of him, it repressed his personality. He was severely starved of affection, emotionally stunted and hyper-aware of exactly how unwanted he was. He had been made to feel like a burden from the minute he lived at the Dursleys and I think their treatment of him made him almost conditioned to certain behaviors.

When the time came for all of the strange things that had been happening to him to be explained, it was like another layer of rules that had been added to him. Hagrid came to a boy who was craving simple acceptance and gave him exactly what he wanted, and then preached that Albus Dumbledore was this great man and Slytherins were evil, Harry, at the time, was only eleven, and had been conditioned to listen to adults, so of course he was going to listen. But at the same time, he knows that this is a chance for him to be different, he is free from his relatives constraints and grabs it with two hands. And you can see how much he hated his relatives because he follows the first person to be decent to him in to an unknown place without question. When he gets to the wizarding world, he has suddenly gone from pariah to hero within literal minutes and he is woefully unprepared to deal with exactly what that entails, and it doesn't help that for his entire memory he had been forced to stay in the shadows, to hide to keep himself safe, and now he is thrust in to the spotlight and has thousands of people's expectations thrown upon him without any warning whatsoever.

His meeting with Draco Malfoy could have gone better, Harry should have been briefed on the basics of the wizarding world, or at least Hogwarts, before stepping foot in Diagon Alley. However, it also didn't help that Malfoy reminded Harry of someone who had helped make his life miserable. Harry's first year was a bit of a joke, Snape was a fool to treat Harry like he did because Harry has never been like James, and it would have been impossible for him to be. James was privileged and an only child, brought up loved by his parents, confident, rich and always popular, something Harry never was. I do understand why Harry went after the stone, though. Finally, after 10 years of misery, he had something to hold on to, something that he wanted to keep and he wasn't about to let it all go to someone who had taken his parents from him no matter what. Second year was a laugh, Harry had only been in the wizarding world for a year and he was expected to know that speaking to snakes was bad?

I hate the fact that people took his name and made so many assumptions about him, to the point where he didn't even know how to act himself. He was pushed and pulled in so many different directions that it was actually dizzying. He had to rely on himself for so long that when he found it ridiculously difficult to place trust in others, and then, when he did, he found himself back where he started; alone. His wish to be accepted, to have someone for himself is practically thrown at us when we see Sirius enter on third year, Harry has only known of this escaped criminal for 8 months and has only know he was not guilty of what he was put in prison for, I.E the betrayal of Harry's own parents and the murder of 12 muggles, for half an hour and he is willing to drop everything and move in with him. Forth year, despite everything, Harry survived. He got through something that 7th years struggled on, he was forced to compete in this deadly competition, and yes he was given help but he was 14, and Barty Crouch Jr didn't make it easy for him.

He was forced to participate and watch in a ritual to ressurect the man who killed his parents and has repeatedly tried to kill him, the man who, ultimately, forced him in to a like of servitude and abuse at the hands of his relatives and then tried to kill him again. And still he survived. He was cut off from the world he was grown to love for nearly an entire summer after watching someone die and seeing Voldemort be reborn, he was left alone to defend himself when he was attacked and NO one is there for him, everyone is treating him like a child but at the same time they expect him to be this figurehead for the light. There is also the huge smear campaign that the ministry has against him and everyone just allowed that to happen, no one steps up and makes Harry take truth serum or takes his memories, they just call him a liar and throw him under the bus. And yet Harry still survives. He deals with Umbridge, the ministry, the Dark Lord, teaching others how to defend themselves, occlumency, Dumbledore ignoring me and THEN Sirius dies before his eyes.

Sirius' death is something that could have been prevented with Dumbledore simply being honest with Harry. Instead, the person who accepted Harry wholeheartedly is ripped away prematurely. And mere hours after he's witnessed the death of his godfather and his friends be attacked, Dumbledore then dumps the prophecy on him and gives him some shitty excuse for not telling him. It's despicable, but Harry shows how strong he is because he carries on, he continues to fight despite everything he has suffered. Sixth year he is back to being hero, but the war is growing and Harry has a monumental pressure on him, he now knows that he is the ONLY person who can stop Voldemort and he feels like it's impossible but yet he doesn't give up and he does not run. Dumbledore, the man Harry has seen as a mentor, is then killed in front of him, and, even though he has repeatedly told the order and the headmaster that he KNOWS Draco Malfoy is up to something they ignore him.

They ignore someone who, despite spectacular odds, has never been wrong about someone. He knew someone was after the stone; they were. He knew Hagrid didn't open the Chamber and believed it to be with Moaning Murtle; it was. He tried to tell the world that the Dark Lord had returned; he had. Then in sixth year he told them all, even his friends, that Malfoy was up to something and they brushed him aside like it was nothing. And they paid the price. But still, Snape killed Dumbledore and the old man leaves Harry with an impossible task, he hasn't told Harry how to destroy the Horcruxes and he leaves the world believing that Snape killed him maliciously. Harry takes on this mission, his only help are two people who are his age, and they are alone. Yet he continues, he fights through impossible, collects the Horcruxes even though he knows the war is raging on. He fights all of his instincts to go and actively fight, knowing this is the only way to finally get rid of the Dark Lord. He believes that after he has collected all these items he will only have the man himself to take down, he can finally see a future, only for it to be brutally crushed as Snape dies.

He's show the memories of a man that he believed hated him to find out that he wasn't what he seemed, but the most crushing thing is that a man he looked up to, a man he believed cared for him was raising him for the sole purpose to die at the right time. Harry, who is 17 years old, has just found out that there is no future for him, there is no happy ending for him, that the only way for the world to be rid of evil if for him to die. Not only does he have to die, he has to be killed by the very man he has been fighting to destroy.

But yet he doesn’t run, he doesn’t cry or scream at the injustice, he doesn’t even share this terrible burden. No, he gets up and he walks to his own death. The sheer amount of will power, the amount of raw bravery that Harry has is phenomenal. Unprecedented. He, despite knowing he is going to die, that he is going to be killed, stands and faces Voldemort, he looks him in the eye and lets himself be murdered. Obviously we know it doesn’t work, however, Harry walked in to the forest believing that he was going to die. That amount of courage is commendable. When Harry gets up again and the battle restarts, and I prefer the book version of this, he goes directly the Voldemort, protecting others on the way. Harry, in what may be his finest moment, taunts Voldemort in front of everyone, he stands up and faces him, he taunts and mocks him and then ultimately beats him in a fight of wills.

Yet there are things I don’t understand about him. He is powerful, he had performed incredible feats, and yet he is made out to be mediocre at times, and I hate it. He stood up to Voldemort at 11, fought and killed a 1000 year old basilisk at 12 and survived the bite, drove of over 100 dementors with one spell, that many fully qualified witches and wizards cannot cast, at 13, participated and won a tournament that people have died in, escaped a duel with the most powerful and feared Dark Lord in over a century, defied the ministry and Umbridge repeatedly, taught numerous other people how to defend themselves actively and then fought and aided in the capture of the inner circle death eaters at 15, battled death eaters again at 16, broke in to the ministry while a wanted fugitive, broke in to gringotts and successfully stole from a high security vault and then rode out on a dragon, broke in to Hogwarts while it was being run by Death eaters, and then defeated Voldemort. All of these things illustrate that Harry is powerful, a lot more so than the average person, and I don’t like the fact that he is sometimes made out to be heavily reliant on others. He’s a survivor, he has always been a survivor, and has shown that, if needed, he can make it on his own.

Harry Potter is a brave, honest, and ridiculously strong person. He is a completely unique individual, he has his flaws and he knows it, but he also has his strengths. And unlike others, he does not gloat, brag or exploit them for himself. Harry is an incredibly selfless, sometimes too selfless, but over all a good person. He had the option to turn out exactly like Voldemort, he had the upbringing to do so and yet he didn’t. That is a flaw I have found in his written character. I love Harry, I do, and when I personally write him I take many of his qualities because they deserve to be highlighted. However, you cannot have someone who has been abused, broken down and shunned suddenly become the embodiment of a good and light; it just doesn’t work. As I said, he’s a survivor, he’s been made to survive with nothing, and been made to look after himself, he shouldn’t have suddenly gave a crap about all these people that never gave a damn about him. J.K wrote HP in a very black and white world, and Harry was the white. He did go against all odds, but I suppose that’s what made Harry, Harry, he did things that no one else would. What no one else could!

There is no one like Harry Potter.

Molly Weasley: is a cow. She shows clear favourites with her children and smothers them. She is totally unfair to the twins and is always comparing them to their older siblings, its no wonder Ron has a sever complex!

Ginny Weasley: I don't really like her. Well, it's more of how she was portrayed really. I feel that it was an extremely wasted opportunity when it came to her character, but what I hate the most is paring her with Harry. That is not, in any way, a reasonable match. I cannot fault her for being a fan girl, she would have grown up in the wizarding world where Harry Potter was a household name, and children were told stories about him from a young age. She cannot be blamed for that. However, when she grew up and got over the fact that Harry was just a person then she was ok. I think that there could have been a lot more to her, book Ginny was a lot better than film Ginny for sure, but, for someone like Harry, I don't think she is the right match. Especially given the fact that Harry doesn't like the attention and she was one of his biggest fans. I don't know, Ginny was very one dimensional.

Sirius Black: Sirius has had a hard life, we know about his time in Hogwarts and we know the basics of his home life, but we don't know details. It's obvious that his parents, especially his mother, hated him and that had a big effect on him. He ran away when he was 16 showing that it got to a stage that he could no longer handle and I think that affected him more than he ever let on.

Sirius rebelled against everything his parents wanted him to be, and that, I think, is why Severus got the brunt of Sirius' attacks. Severus Snape was everything Sirius was supposed to be, a love for the dark arts, in Slytherin, and therefore everything he hated. I'm not excusing Sirius' behaviour, it was wrong and he showed himself to be the Black that he hated when he continuously attacked someone with a careless disregard that originally had done nothing to him. But, he was hurting and he took it out on the wrong person.

When James and Lily died I think that was what finally broke Sirius, he had 4 friends that he trusted with his life, which to him, with the family his had, was a big deal, and he found out that one of them betrayed them and the other, the one he was closest to, was dead. When he tracked Peter down, it was never more apparent that the Black madness had touched him, he had lost everything so he laughed so he didn't cry.
Azkaban did him no favours and he didn't help himself, but he should have been given a trial and I think, if he had been raising Harry with Moony then he would have healed, something, I believe, he never did. And with that, he never fully grew up. He took to many risks simply because he didn't truly know the consequences and that, unfortunately, resulted in his death.

I think Sirius had much more hidden to what he let the world see, I think it was one of the worst think J.K did when she killed of Sirius.

Remus Lupin: I have two opinions of Remus. On the one hand he is the one of the biggest cowards imaginable. He was turned in to a werewolf at a young age, but he gained three friends that broke the law to support him every month in his time of need. He got through school and went against his nature to fight for the light, which is extremely brave, however, when Lily and James fell, instead of sticking around and trying to work what had happened he fled. He left one of his best friends, one that risked everything for him and fled, even if he didn't know that it wasn't Sirius who betrayed the Potter's, he didn't stick around to see him be sentenced or see Pettigrew get the send off a supposed hero desevered.

He just ran.

And, adding to that, another of his best friends, and his wife, had just been murdered and he completely disregards their child without so much as a thought, hiding behind the excuse of him being a werewolf. When he returned, he didn't engage Harry in reminders of his parents, he didn't connect with his best friend's son and he didn't even tell Dumbledore about Sirius being an animagus to protect Harry because he was too afraid. Later on, after the war broke out, he was back fighting for the light and he finally gave in to Tonks, but what disgusts me the most, and I completely agree with Harry on this, is when he tried to abandon his unborn child. No matter what, he should have stuck it out, he helped create that baby and it was his responsibility, his duty, to look after that child with everything he had. I also think he was foolish to go in to battle when he had a newborn child, he should have hid and been there for his child, instead, he left him to grow up an orphan and that is not fair; no matter the circumstanced.

On the other hand, Remus Lupin was one of the strongest men alive. He survived being bitten by a werewolf at a young age and he went through numerous transformations with no support and nothing to help ease his suffering. He made to Hogwarts and, despite the fact he was forced, every month, to go through an excruciating process of his entire body changing in to something completely different and, worst of all, having no control of his actions, he still managed to get consistent high grades throughout his schooling. Then, he followed his three closest friends to fight for the light, going against his very nature, turning down offered of freedom and acceptance, something he desperately wished for to stick to his beliefs and his friends. He tried to follow the law and got shunned, but still he continued to fight for the good of the world, and for the people that looked upon him as if he was scum without a thought. He was extremely brave to continue throughout the circumstances, and when it didn't look to get any worse, Remus suffered three tragic blows in an instant.

First, Lily and James were murdered, then he believed that Sirius betrayed them all to the lure of the dark, something he had been denying his entire life, and then Peter was dead at the hands of Sirius. He lost everything. Those who meant everything to him, those who accepted him unconditionally were ripped away within a week and still he survived, yes he disappeared, but he got on with his life and soldiered on. He returned to the wizarding world when Sirius escaped and he had his entire beliefs shaken when he came face to face with the one he believed took everything from him, only to find out that Sirius was innocent, that his best friend never betrayed him and remained true even after all these years. Pettigrew escaped leaving him helpless to help Sirius, but he continued to try his best. Through all of this he was still forced to transform in to a mindless beast, and he had been made to do it alone for so many years when he shouldn't have been that way. Then, in in '95, the best friend he had only just go back was ripped away from him before his eyes, Sirius was killed leaving him alone in the world again.

And yet he continued to fight. He kept at the war effort and actively participated, despite everything that had happened. He found someone who accepted him and fell in love with Tonks, and in an effort to protect her and his son he tried to leave, knowing that he was endangering her for just being with her. And, while it was overtly wrong, he was well meaning and he tried to do what he believed best. Then, during the final battle, he was forced to leave his son to try and defeat the 'evil' and finds his wife in battle, only for her to be struck down and soon to follow her. Remus Lupin went down fighting, he went down as a strong man, a man who went against all odds and lived. No matter how hard it became, no matter how many times it seemed that it was impossible to overcome the next hurdle, he continued to fight. And for that he has my respect.

Draco Malfoy: Draco is the epitome of spoilt pureblood prince that believes everything should be laid out before him simply because he is a Malfoy. He acts like he has no thoughts that came from his own head, everything is something his father said and when he doesn't get what he wants he threatens anyone with his father. There are so many things that are wrong with how Draco is and how he acts, but he had never had a good example to go by, because Lucius was more interested in his image and his money than teaching his son the correct way to behave.

But, on the other hand, when the time came, Draco did stand up for what was right. He didn't do it in an obvious way and he didn't necessary stand up and fight, but he didn't give Harry away when he knew exactly who it was even when he was promised everything would go back to how it was when Voldemort wasn't displeased with the Malfoys and, in the film, it couldn't have been more obvious that Draco didn't want to go over to the Dark Side again. Only the fact that his mother, one of the people I believe he cared deeply about, asked him too, and in the film all of the Malfoys fled.
I've never been able to make up my mind on Draco. Whenever I write him in I usually change it up, sometimes he's good and sometimes he's bad, more often than not I make his good.

Fred and George Weasley: I personally believe that killing of Fred was the worst thing J.K did, even outstripping the death of Sirius and Remus!! Like I said in my rant about Molly, she's so smothering and she's completely awful to the twins about their chosen career path and in the then they end up being more successful than any other Weasley before them! Harry seemed to be the only one who saw the twins as individuals instead of Fred and George and in turn they saw Harry for Harry and not Harry Potter. I love them.

Severus Snape: I'm a bit iffy on Snape, sometimes I love him but sometimes I hate him. I write him good and bad because I can never decide which I prefer. Snape, deep down, was a good man. Yes, the Marauders were cruel to him, but I don't believe they made him the way he was, that I think was a mixture of many things and perhaps the Marauders played a part. Granted, Lily marrying his tormentor is enough to have anyone pissed off, and all the other factors in his life such as his nasty childhood, the Dark Lord, Dumbledore and the war itself is not an excuse for how he treated Harry. Yes he was a triple spy and he had very little room to breathe, but how he behaved and acted with Harry is just wrong. The way Snape grew up he should have known that there was something wrong with Harry, he knew James Potter since he was 11 years old and there is very little, minus appearance, that Harry actually shares with his father. Snape was blinded by a face which had been dead for ten years and it clouded his judgement and his thoughts, he worked as a spy, he is one of, if not, the best at noticing things that others didn't; he had to or he would be dead. But he was so blinded by hatred and envy that he failed to see a child struggling in a new world and that is inexcusable.

Oh, I know he was a total badass, and I wish he hadn't died so he could have made peace with his demons, but I do not think that, if he got there, that Lily would be too pleased with how he treated her only son; the one she died to protect.

Tom Riddle is amazing. I do not care what anyone says! I freaking LOVE Tom Riddle!! Like, he is, I think, my all time favourite character because he practically has it all. He's intelligent, beyond that, he's charismatic, charming, smooth, cool, dark and extremely extremely hot! Everything just seemed to come effortlessly to him, he could do anything and he did. He grew up in hell, he was hated and scorned because he was different and he didn't let that stop him, he made himself better, stronger and more powerful than those who treated him like shit.

I know he was evil and I know he was monstrous, but I cannot help but admire his will power to keep going no matter what stood in his way. I believe that if he had not lost his rational mind, which created Voldemort, he would have won the war without a doubt. If he could run and rule an army of such masses when he was insane, then when he was sane it wouldn't have been a problem. As to the fact that Dumbledore was the only one he ever feared - I believe that that is complete crap. I believe that Riddle was wary of Dumbledore because the headmaster knew more about him than anyone else and knew where he come from, he also knew that Dumbledore was powerful and could block him if he wanted to so he became extremely cautious around the old man. He became Voldemort when he lost his mind and I think a large part of that was down to the Horcruxes. Seeping himself in dark magic was one thing, but it wasn't enough to send him as insane as he was (take the Black family for example, one of the, if not the, darkest magical families in the wizarding world and while some of them were slightly insane, they never completely lost it - I'm of the opinion that Bellatrax was just a sadist.)

So I think with all the dark magic, so many horcruxes and living as a disembodied spirit for 13 years sent him over the edge to what we know as Voldemort (4th year). Voldemort was weak. Not magically so, but in worth. He was nothing more than an animal driven by the need to control everything but he couldn't control himself. Voldemort did not deserve the title of Dark Lord, he deserved to be bested by Harry because it was of his own arrogance that he lost, where Voldemort did not deserve it, Tom Marvolo Riddle was a true Dark Lord.

Bellatrix Lestrange: I can't help but love Bellatrix. She was one of the most loyal characters in the entire book. She may have followed the 'wrong' side and she may have took it to the extremes, but she never ever ever had any doubts about what she stood for and who she was loyal too. Even in the very end when it was apparent Voldemort was going to lose, she stuck with him and she was the last of his remaining forced to fall showing that she was also incredibly powerful and skilled despite her insanity. I hate that she killed Sirius, but at the same time it was war and they were on opposite sides and if he was in her place Sirius would have probably did the same. The attack on Neville's parents, while it was completely horrendous, there was also a reason behind it and because of that I can’t fault her for it. She was followed her Lords orders, once again showing her loyalty, and as Neville was the other child of the prophecy and Bella was Voldemort's most devoted and loyal it was only right that she be sent after him. And I expect that, if they had not been caught when they did, they would have finished the job. They were also searching for their Lord who had mysteriously disappeared. I cannot help but respect her too. Simply because she and the others involved in the attack stood up and faced prison for their cause and even when she was sentenced to life in Azkaban Bella still stood in front of the ministry and showed her faith and complete belief in her Lord and that is something to be commended even if her loyalty and beliefs were in the 'wrong' side.

Barty Crouch Jr: Barty reminds me of Malfoy in the respect that he always sought after his father's approval. Crouch Sr never paid enough attention to his son, and to Barty it seemed as if nothing he did was ever good enough. Though his mother loved him dearly, it was his father that Crouch wanted to impress and it showed in the fact he got 12 OWLs. He joined the Death Eaters because the Dark Lord showed interest in his intelligence and Barty switched his need to impress from his father to Voldemort, becoming obsessed with pleasing his new master, who he saw as a replacement father figure. One he believed was much more superior to his own father. Barty was ridiculously intelligent, as well has highly cunning and extremely observant, so much so, he was able to masquerade as Alistor Moody for nearly a year under Dumbledore's very nose. Thus showing his ability to work with anything. His hatred for his father grew with the neglect the man showed him in his youth and I think, when his father controlled him for ten years with the Imperius curse, it blinded him usual quick mind as his need to reunite with Voldemort became priority. His loyalty to the Dark Lord is easily matched to that of Bellatrix Lestrange and, like her, I cannot fault him, because he never doubted. The only time he seemed to waver was when faced with the Dementors and he pleaded with his father to see reason, but I believe that wasn't a show of wavering loyalty, but something that would enable him to continue looking for his fallen Lord. I believe, if he had not been kissed, Barty would have been the last to fall with Bella in the final battle. I truly enjoy Barty's character, and I was very disappointed to see him removed so quickly from the series.

Luna Lovegood: I love Luna, there is something about her uniqueness that just draws me in. She's just so... fresh! She has no normal restraints and lives completely in her own way, she is one of the very few people that literally could not give any less of a crap what others think of her and it is freakin' brilliant.
But, I also think that the creatures are a defence or a coping mechanism after her mother's death.

Luna is one of those people who are hard to read, but she is still one of my favourites! She is just an awesome character that is so under rated.

Ron Weasley: Ron to me can be seen in two different lights. One where he was loyal to Harry in the end, even as his jealousy got in the way and he left, he always came back. He was strong, loyal, clever and a damn good friend.
On the other hand, he was a jealous prat that left his friend in his time of need and Harry was a mug to take him back to easily, granted in DH Ron did save his life so it was acceptable, but in 4th year it wasn't.

Minerva McGonagall: I've always had questions about McGonagall. Over the years, she has seen a lot, she has seen generations lost to war and face two wars herself and she came out of both alive. She was strong, independent, powerful and respected. She is a woman who was staunch in her beliefs, but I was disappointed when she let Harry down in two of the most crucial points in his life. She should have stuck by her instincts when it came to Harry's placement with the Dursleys, she shouldn't have blindly followed Dumbledore's word when she knew that Harry would not be well cared for, and I think that is a mistake she will have to make up for for the rest of her life. The second time was with Umbridge. She didn't even hear Harry out, her student, the son of two of her favourite students, was being tortured by a teacher and she didn't take the time to find out. Harry was left alone to deal with mass criticism, mental attacks, threats from the Dark Lord and then he was shunted in school when he needed someone to help him desperately. I truly believe McGonagall is a good person, but there have been points where I wish she would have simply listened.

Dolores Umbridge: Simply put... I hate her. Nothing less. She is my most hated character in the entire series, the fact that we never find out if she dies or not was the worst thing because I was praying for a horrible, painful, humiliating death. I do not even think I can explain how much I HATE that woman and every time I see the actress in another film I'm forcefully reminded of Umbridge and I have to sit there and grit my teeth. I think, because she was supposed to be on the 'good' side, like she was from the ministry, the place where its supposed to be the good of the people which made her character a whole lot worse. She was vile. She's one of the worst type of people, she would smile as she killed you and then justify in a way that no one would dispute. I can find no redeeming qualities to her whatsoever!!

Hermione Granger: Hermione is a difficult one for me because sometimes I hate her and sometimes I love her. I perfectly understand that the Trio wouldn't be anywhere without her, but sometimes I feel that she also holds them back. With her constant need to know everything and be the best at everything she forces people in to her shadow which then makes them act negatively towards her. We see in 6th year that she hated the fact that Harry became better at potions than her and her belief that books are infallible is nothing more than an annoyance. However, I kinda admire her because despite the fact that she was a muggleborn; she kicked ass!

Neville Longbottom: I feel for Neville because of his grandmother and her overbearing nature, she forced the image of Frank Longbottom on to him and it was only when Harry stepped up and told Neville he could be a powerful wizard did he come in to his own. I did like what he became and when he took out the snake, despite me being a massive lover of everything dark, I couldn't help but be like YES GO NEVILLE!! I don't know if he could have been the chosen one however, Neville, while becoming an amazing wizard, couldn't have faced what Harry faced simply because of his upbringing. His grandmother stunted him too much.

Vernon Dursley: Vernon is one of those characters that embodies the word scum. Like Umbridge, I have no love for him, but unlike Umbridge, I can sort of understand his behaviour. He is not a blood relative to Harry, and he married in to the strangeness that comes with magic, and I can understand that fear causes people to act in irrational ways. However, his behaviour was truly reprehensible and, in no way, excusable.

Petunia Dursley: There is absolutely nothing that can excuse her behavior in reguards to her nephew. She knew all about magic, and yes, she was jealous, and yes, she feared something she would never understand, but that is not an acceptable reason to treat Harry as she had done. She, quite frankly, abused her nephew in the worst possible way, she tore him down for something that she knew about and he had no control over, she punished him for things that she expected to happen and took her resentment and bitterness out on an innocent child. A child that had did nothing to her or her family, accept become an orphan. What makes it worse is if the positions were reversed, Lily would have looked after Dudley as if he was her own and thought nothing of it, simply because it was her sister's child. And what makes it worse is that she didn't have to take Harry in, she took him in with for the promise of protection, when he would have been better of elsewhere. She is the worst possible example of a human, and she reminds me of the muggle version of Umbridge.

Dudley Dursley: Dudley is a product of the environment he was brought up in. I can't hate Dudley because he has never known anything else. From the day he was born he had been spoilt, and then when Harry arrived he has only saw his parents treat his cousin with nothing but contempt, disgust and disregard. His father was a bully, and encouraged his son to be the same. Dudley was encouraged and praised for treating Harry like dirt so it became second nature to him. The thing I liked about Dudley was that he grew up and he saw that his parents were wrong, he knew that his behaviour was not acceptable and, though it was too late, he did still try to rectify it. After Harry saved his life he opened his eyes to the real world, and when he said to Harry 'I don't think you are a waste of space' I felt unually pleased, because it showed that people can change. I like to think that Dudley grew out of his father's bullying ways, settled down and made a decent life for himself.

So yeah that's my a few of my HP thoughts!

100 Rules of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
"Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE (Found on BlackSaint's Profile)

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

FOUND THIS READING COMMENTS ON YOUTUBE

20 Things i'm gonna do before i die... 1) Look at see through glass and when someone is on the other side shout "OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!" 2) Bring a big chair into the elevator facing away from the door and when someone walks in, dramatically turn and say 'we've been expecting you.' 3) Walk up to someone, hand them a potato, look them in the eyes and deadpan 'with great power, comes great responsibility.' Walk away. 4) Call someone to tell them you can't talk right now. 5) Point at someone and shout "You're one of them!" Run and pretend to trip. Crawl away slowly. 6) Buy a donut and complain that there's a hole in it. 7) Put Mayonnaise in a bowl, freeze it, and tell your friend it's ice cream. 8) Put up a "Lost Dog" poster with a picture of a cat on it. 9) In a public toilet, pass a note under the door next to you saying, "They're onto us. We need to go." 10) Walk up to a random person and say, "Wow! You've changed, I still have your picture from five years ago." And hold up a picture of potato. 11) Call McDonalds asking for directions to Burger King. 12) Order a pizza 5 minutes before New Years, and when it comes, yell, "I ORDERED THIS THING A YEAR AGO! 13) Bring a desk on an elevator. When people try to get on ask if they have an appointment. 14) Go to an electronic store with a banana and say that you want to upgrade to an apple. 15) Call Pizza Hut and ask for the phone number to Domino's. 16) Hide a walk talkie in a bush and scare people that walk by. 17) Get on a crowded elevator with a bag in your hands, sigh and say "darn my snake got loose again". 18) When someone asks you if you know what time it is, say yes and walk away. 19) Dress up as a duck and throw bread at people and say,"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?!! HUH?!!!! 20) Go to a pet shop, point at an employee, and shout "I WANT THAT ONE MOMMY!!!"