Full stop. The end. Whatever. You don't need to know about me, cuz I'm just another human on planet earth. You should give my stories a try, however.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

The Things That Make You Worry About Human Intelligence:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (But wouldn't it be cold?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (Why not? Can I try it?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (No, really?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (So I can't use them in different dimensions? Aw, nuts!)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for any other use." (I gotta admit, I'm really curious now...)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (NEWSFLASH!!!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no, we get real fake bacon.)

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (You'll find that in 'Eating American Airline Packets of Nuts for Dummies' page 1)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Aw, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Genitals . . . ? When did this happen?!?!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion . . .)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (Yeah, cuz I'm gonna tell my 5-year-old to hold my knife for me while I run to the store...)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.