Dr. Who Quotes

The Doctor: Legs! I've still got legs. [kisses one of them.] Good. Arms, hands. Ooh, fingers. Lots of fingers. Ears? Yes. Eyes: two. Nose... eh, I've had worse. Chin - blimey! Hair...[notes length.] I'm a girl! [checks Adam's apple.] No! No! I'm not a girl! [pulls a lock of his hair in front of his eyes and looks at it, agitated] And still not ginger! There's something else. Something... important, I'm... [taps head.] I'm-I'm..

The Doctor: [climbs out of TARDIS, dramatic music, bewildered young Amy stares at him] Can I have an apple? All I can think about... apples! I love apples. Maybe I'm having a craving! That's new. Never had cravings before. [climbs up sitting at the threshold of the TARDIS and looking down into it] Whoo! Look at that!

Amelia: Are you all right?

The Doctor: Just had a fall, all the way down there right to the library. Hell of a climb back up.

Amelia: You're soaking wet.

The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.

Amelia: You said you were in the library.

The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.

Amy: It came because it couldn't stand to watch your children cry. What if you were really old, and really kind and alone? Your whole race dead, no future. What couldn't you do then? If you were that old, and that kind, and the very last of your kind... you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry.

River Song: Use the stabilizers!

The Doctor: It doesn't have stabilizers!

River Song: The blue switches!

The Doctor: The blue ones don't do anything, they're just... blue!

River Song: Yes they're blue: they're the blue stabilizers! [presses the button and the TARDIS indeed stabilizes] See?

The Doctor: Yeah? Well, it's boring now, isn't it? They're boring-ers! They're blue... boring-ers!

Amy: Doctor, how come she can fly the TARDIS?

The Doctor: You call that flying the TARDIS? [scoffs] Ha!

River Song: Okay, I've mapped the probability vectors, done a foldback on the temporal isometery, charted the ship to its destination and... [presses a button, the TARDIS chimes]parked us right alongside.

The Doctor: Parked us? But we haven't landed!

River Song: Of course we've landed; I just landed her.

The Doctor: But it didn't make the noise.

River Song: What noise?

The Doctor: You know, the... [does an impression of the TARDIS materialisation sound]

River Song: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.

The Doctor: Yes, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

The Doctor: Amy Pond, you are magnificent, and I'm sorry.

Amy: It's okay, I understand. You've got to leave me.

The Doctor: Oh no, I'm not leaving you, never! I'm sorry about this! [bites her hand[Amy yelps and grabs her hand]

The Doctor: There, see? Not stone, now run!

Amy: You bit me!

The Doctor: Yeah, and you're alive.

Amy: Oh, I've got a mark, look at my hand!

The Doctor: And you're alive! Did I mention?

Amy: Blimey, your teeth, have you got space teeth?!

The Doctor: Yeah, alive, that's all I'm saying!

The Doctor: [aiming gun at the ceiling] Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap.

Angel Bob: And what would that be, sir?

The Doctor: Me. [fires]

Amy Pond: It made me think about what I want. Who I want. You know what I mean?

The Doctor: Yeah. [beat] No.

Amy Pond: About who [cocks head toward him] I want.

The Doctor: Oh right, yes... No, still not getting it.

Amy Pond: Doctor... in a word, in one very simple word even you can understand— [goes in to kiss him]

The Doctor: [Stumbling off the bed, avoiding the kiss] You're getting married in the morning!

Amy Pond: Well the morning's a long time away, what are we going to do then?

The Doctor: Amy, listen to me. I am 907 years old; do you understand what that means?

Amy Pond: It's been a while?

The Doctor: Yea—No, no, no! I'm 907, and look at me! I don't get older, I just change; you get older, I don't. And this can't ever work.

Amy Pond: Aw, you are sweet, Doctor, but I really wasn't suggesting anything quite so... long term. [kisses him against the TARDIS]

The Doctor: [pushes her back] But you're human! You're Amy! You're getting married in the morning— [realizing] In the morning. It's you. It's all about you, it's always been about you.

Amy: Hold that thought. [Goes and lays on the bed seductively]

The Doctor: Amy Pond. Mad, impossible Amy Pond, I don't know how I didn't realize, but possibly the most important thing in the universe is that I get you sorted out right now.

Amy Pond: That's what I've been trying to tell you!

The Doctor: This is bad, I don't like this. [kicks console and yells] Never use force, you just embarass yourself. Unless you're cross, in which case, always use force!

Amy: Shall I run and get the manual?

The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova.

Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why?

The Doctor: Because I disagreed with it! Now stop talking to me when I'm cross!

The Doctor: I told you trust nothing we see hear or feel. Look around you, examine everything. Look for all the details that don't ring true.

Rory: Okay, well, we're in a spaceship that's bigger on the inside than the outside.

Amy: With a bow tie-wearing alien.

Rory: So maybe what [does air quotes] "rings true" isn't so simple.

The Doctor: Valid point.

The Doctor: [reading sign] "Restricted access, no unauthorized personnel." Hmmm... [opens lock with sonic screwdriver]

Amy:That's breaking and entering!

The Doctor: What did I break? Sonic-ing and entering, totally different.

Vincent:Hold my hand, Doctor. Try to see what I see. We're so lucky we're still alive to see this beautiful world. Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there! Lighter blue. [the starscape slowly transforms into The Starry Night] And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the winds swirling through the air. And there shining, burning, bursting through, the stars! Can you see how they roll their light? Everywhere we look, complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes.

Doctor:I’ve seen many things, my friend, but you’re right: nothing quite as wonderful as the things you see.

The Doctor: The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.

The Doctor: [about what is in the Pandorica] There was a goblin, or a trickster... Or a warrior... A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.

Amy:How did it end up in there?

The Doctor:You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.

River: [to Amy]I hate good wizards in fairy tales; they always turn out to be him.

The Doctor Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe! But, bad news everyone, [Doctor jumps up from inside Stonehenge] 'cause guess who! Ha! Listen, you lot! You're all whizzing about. It's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I—AM—TALKING! [The ships stop instantly] Now the question of the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?" Answer: I do. Next question: Who's coming to take it from me? [Pause] Come on! Look at me! No plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn! Oh, and something else I don't have: anything to lose! So! If you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceships with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you and then, and then... do the smart thing: Let somebody else try first. [The battleships all flee to a much higher orbit[The Doctor turns to Rory] The Doctor: That should keep them squabbling for half an hour.

The Doctor: [to Rory]Why do you have to be so... human?

Rory:Because right now I'm not.

The Doctor: [to the sleeping Amelia] Funny. Thought that if you could hear me, I could hang on somehow. Silly me... Silly old Doctor... when you wake up, you'll have a Mum and Dad. And you won't remember me. Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. That's okay; we're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one. Cos it was, you know. It was the best. A daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well, borrowed it; I was always gonna take it back. Oh, that box, Amy. You'll dream about that box. It'll never leave you. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient. And the bluest blue ever. And the times we had. Woulda had. Never had. In your dreams they'll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond. And the days that never came. [hears rumbling] The cracks are closing. But they can't close properly 'til I'm on the other side. I don't belong here any more. I think I'll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love Rory. Bye-bye, Pond.

The Doctor: Sorry, do you have a name?

Idris: Seven hundred years and finally he asks.

The Doctor: But what do I call you?

Idris: I think you call me... Sexy?

The Doctor: [embarassed] Only when we're alone.

Idris: We are alone.

The Doctor: Oh. Come on, then, Sexy.

Idris: You're like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom. And you never read the instructions.

The Doctor: I always read the instructions!

Idris: There's a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say?

The Doctor: That's not instructions.

Idris: There's an instruction at the bottom. What does it say?

The Doctor: "Pull to open."

Idris: Yes, and what do you do?

The Doctor: I push!

Idris: Every single time, seven hundred years. Police box doors open out the way.

The Doctor: I think I have earned the right to open my front doors any way I want.

Idris: Your front doors? Do you have any idea how childish that sounds?

The Doctor: You are not my mother.

Idris: You are not my child.

The Doctor: You know, since we're talking with mouths, not really an opportunity that comes along very often, I just wanna say, you know, you have never been very reliable.

Idris: And you have?

The Doctor: You didn't always take me where I wanted to go.

Idris: No, but I always took you where you needed to go.

Idris: You ever wonder why I chose you all those years ago?

The Doctor: I chose you. You were unlocked.

Idris: Of course I was. I wanted to see the universe so I stole a Time Lord and I ran away. And you were the only one mad enough.

The Doctor: Uh, Amy, this is, well, she's my TARDIS. Except she's a woman. She's a woman and she's the TARDIS.

Amy: She's the TARDIS?

The Doctor: And she's a woman. She's a woman and she's the TARDIS.

Amy: Did you wish really hard?

The Doctor: Shut up, not like that.

Idris: Hello. I'm... Sexy.

The Doctor: Oh, still shut up.

Doctor [To House, as Idris dies and releases the TARDIS essence]: I think you should be very, very careful about what you let back into this control room. You took her from her home. But now she’s back in the box again and she’s free! Oh, look at my girl, look at her go! Bigger on the inside! You see, House? That’s your problem. Size of a planet, but inside you’re just so small! Finish him off, girl.

Jimmy: This is insane. We're fighting ourselves.

The Doctor: Yes, it's insane. And it's about to get even more insanerer. Is that a word? Show yourself! Right now!

Amy: Doctor! We are trapped in here and Rory's out there with them. Hello! We can't get to the TARDIS and we can't even leave the island.

[A voice identical to the Doctor's is heard from across the room]

"The Doctor's" voice: Correct in every respect, Pond. It's frightening. Unexpected. Frankly, a total utter splattering mess on the carpet.

[The voice is revealed to be the Ganger copy of the Doctor - identically clothed, with the same voice, but with the gelid, half-finished face of the recently-formed Flesh]

The Doctor (Ganger): But I am certain — one hundred percent certain — that we can work this out. Trust me. [straightens his bow tie] I'm the Doctor.

The Doctor (?): We both contain the knowledge of over 900 years of memory. And it's apparent we both wear the same bow-tie, which is cool.

The Doctor (Ganger?): Because bow-ties are...

The Doctor (?): ...and always will be.

The Doctor [having tricked Amy and others into believing he is the Ganger version: Interesting. You definitely feel more affection for him than me.

Amy: No, no — but you're fine and everything, but he's The Doctor — no offense: being almost the Doctor is pretty damn impressive.

The Doctor: Being "almost the Doctor" is like being no Doctor at all.

Amy: Don't overreact!

The Doctor: You might as well call me Smith

Cleaves: You can't let him go. Are you crazy?

The Doctor (?): Am I crazy, Doctor?

The Doctor (Ganger?): Well, you did once plug your brain into the core of an entire planet just to hold its orbit and win a bet.

River Song: My old fella didn't see that, did he? He gets ever so cross.

Rory Williams: What kind of doctor are you, anyway?

River: Archaeology. [shoots the Silent sneaking up behind her]Love a tomb.

[At some point in the past, in the English court, Cavaliers storm into a palace room, led by the King]

The King: [roars] Where is the Doctor?

[There is a woman in the room, in a palatial gown, presumably the Queen. There is also an all-but-complete painting on an easel, featuring a naked Doctor surrounded by clouds, painted in a style similar to a Botticelli cherub. The King and the Cavaliers stare at the woman, and then downwards to the hem of her skirts. The Doctor, evidently still naked, peeks his head out from under the hem]

The Doctor: Y'know, this isn't nearly as bad as it looks.

[Cut to the present day - Amy and Rory in their house]

Amy: [reading from a history book] At the personal intervention of the King, the unnamed Doctor was incarcerated without trial in the tower of London.

Rory: OK, but it doesn't have to be him.

Amy: According to contemporary accounts, two nights later, a magical sphere some twenty feet across was seen floating away from the tower, bearing the mysterious Doctor aloft.

Rory: [resigned] OK, it's him.

Amy: There's more...

[Cut to the past again. A different time. A man is crawling through a cramped crawlspace]

Man: Doctor? What do you see?

The Doctor: [poking his head in from the room above the crawlspace, and looking at the man upside down] Is the Commandant's Office painted a sort of green color with a big flag on the wall?

[the sound of alarms and guards shouting is heard]

The Doctor: I think the answer's probably "Yes."

The Doctor: I'm being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point in having you all?

The Doctor: Fellas, the guns, really? I just walked into the highest security office in the United States and parked a big blue box on the rug. You think you can just shoot me

[The Doctor falls down Kazran's chimney, swiftly rolling out of the fireplace and getting up, dusting himself off]

The Doctor: Ah! Yes! Blimey, sorry! Christmas Eve on a rooftop, saw a chimney, my whole brain just went... "What the hell!"

The Doctor: Oooh!! A big flashy lighty thing. I love big flashy lighty things. Big flashy lighty things have got me written all over them. Well, not actually, but give me time. And a crayon.

The Doctor: Hi, I'm the Doctor. I'm your new babysitter!

Young Kazran: Where's Mrs. Mantebarney?

The Doctor: Oh, you'll never guess, clever ol' Mrs. Manters! She only went and won the lottery!

Old Kazran: [watching on a projector] There isn't any lottery!

Young Kazran: There isn't any lottery.

The Doctor: I know! What a woman!

Young Kazran: If you're my new babysitter, why are you climbing in the window?

The Doctor: Because if I was climbing out of the window, I'd be going in the wrong direction. Pay attention.

The Doctor: Right, so what are we gonna do? Eat crisps and talk about girls? I've never done that, but I bet it's easy. Girls, yeah? [gestures excitedly]

Young Kazran: Are you really a babysitter?

The Doctor: I think you'll find that I'm universally recognized as a mature and responsible adult. [shows him the psychic paper]

Young Kazran: ...It's just a lot of wavy lines.

The Doctor: [looks at the paper] ...Yeah, it shorted out. Finally, a lie too big. Okay, no, not really a babysitter, but this Christmas Eve, you don't want a real one. You want me.

Young Kazran: Why? What's so special about you?

The Doctor: Have you ever seen Mary Poppins?

Young Kazran: No.

The Doctor: Good, because that comparison would have been rubbish.

The Doctor and Doctor-Ganger: Hello. Sorry.
The Doctor/Ganger: But we had to establish...
The Doctor: ...a few ground rules. For later. Protocol.
The Doctor-Ganger: Protocol? Very posh.
The Doctor: Protocol between us. Otherwise...
The Doctor-Ganger: ...it gets horribly embarrassing.
The Doctor: Potentially confusing.
Amy: Well, I'm glad you solved the problem of confusing.
The Doctor-Ganger: That's not helpful.
The Doctor: She's very good at sarcasm

Amy: Come on, okay, how can--how can you both be real?
The Doctor-Ganger: Well, because... we are. I'm the Doctor.
The Doctor: Yeah, and so am I. We both contain the knowledge of over 900 years of memory. And it's apparent we both wear the same bow-tie, which is cool.
The Doctor-Ganger: Because bow-ties are...
The Doctor: ...and always will be

Amy: Hang on.
Cleaves: You can't let him go. Are you crazy?
The Doctor-Ganger: Am I crazy, Doctor?
The Doctor: Well, you did once plug your brain into the core of an entire planet just to hold its orbit and win a bet.

Jimmy: It'll never hold up.
The Doctor: If you have a better plan, I'm all ears. In fact, if you have a better plan, I'll take you to a planet where everyone is all ears

The Doctor-Ganger: Ha! Hello. Adam, I'm the Doctor. Well, I'm the Doctor, or Smith. It's complicated and boring. Anyway, who cares? It is your birthday.
Adam: Yay!
The Doctor-Ganger: Yay! Now, have you been getting up very early and jumping on the bed?
Adam: Yes, really high.
The Doctor-Ganger: I expect chocolate for breakfast. If you don't feel sick by mid-morning, you're not doing it right

[The Doctor falls down Kazran's chimney, swiftly rolling out of the fireplace and getting up, dusting himself off]The Doctor: Ah! Yes! Blimey, sorry! Christmas Eve on a rooftop, saw a chimney, my whole brain just went... "What the hell!"

The Doctor: Oooh!! A big flashy lighty thing. I love big flashy lighty things. Big flashy lighty things have got me written all over them. Well, not actually, but give me time. And a crayon.

The Doctor: Hi, I'm the Doctor. I'm your new babysitter!Young Kazran: Where's Mrs. Mantebarney?The Doctor: Oh, you'll never guess, clever ol' Mrs. Manters! She only went and won the lottery!Old Kazran: [watching on a projector] There isn't any lottery!Young Kazran: There isn't any lottery.The Doctor: I know! What a woman!Young Kazran: If you're my new babysitter, why are you climbing in the window?The Doctor: Because if I was climbing out of the window, I'd be going in the wrong direction. Pay attention.

The Doctor: Right, so what are we gonna do? Eat crisps and talk about girls? I've never done that, but I bet it's easy. Girls, yeah? [gestures excitedly]Young Kazran: Are you really a babysitter?The Doctor: I think you'll find that I'm universally recognized as a mature and responsible adult. [shows him the psychic paper]Young Kazran: ...It's just a lot of wavy lines.The Doctor: [looks at the paper] ...Yeah, it shorted out. Finally, a lie too big. Okay, no, not really a babysitter, but this Christmas Eve, you don't want a real one. You want me.Young Kazran: Why? What's so special about you?The Doctor: Have you ever seen Mary Poppins?Young Kazran: No.The Doctor: Good, because that comparison would have been rubbish.

Controversial Issues:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing

Gay marriage:
1) Being gay is not natural. People always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Briteny Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we coul d never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... --
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

MODERN FAMILY QUOTES

Jay: I'm gonna go get a beer, beer, beer before I punch you in the head, head, head

Mitchell: I know I'm not the handiest guy, but I'm still a man and I want to be able to look out into my yard and say, 'There's a little bit of me in that princess castle

Claire: You're grounded for four weeks!
Haley: Why don't you just double it and make it 10?
Alex: Do you not see how much you need to study?!?

Jay: Was that before or after you were delivered to my door in a squad car wearing nothing but your underwear and a police hat.

Claire: I hate it when you do that. You never heard of Troga? You never tried octopus? You never did this amazing thing I just discovered yesterday but I pretend like I've done my whole life?

Gloria: That doesn't make any sense! Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? Doggy-dog world is a beautiful world filled with little poh-pees.

Gloria: He scared the baby cheeses out of me!

Gloria: A bruja is a witch! A gar-golll is a gar-golll.

Gloria: Oh, here we go, because in Colombia we trip over goats and we kill people in the street! Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!

Jay [to Glorida: I don't get how one dog keeps you awake when you grew up sleeping through cockfights and revolutions.

... AND THIS IS ALL YOU'LL GET ABOUT ME

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with jerks who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Thing

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!" Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake." Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

If you have ever pushed a door that clearly said PULL, copy this into your profile.

If you aren't ashamed to state that you believe in God and Jesus, copy this into your profile.

If you are a dog lover, copy and paste this into your profile!!!

Ever Wonder:

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?

When she walks away from you mad, follow her When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong When she ignore's you, Give her your attention When she pull's away, Pull her back When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared, Protect her When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does When she misses you, she's hurting inside When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her Call her before you sleep and after you wake up Treat her like she's all that matters to you. Tease her and let her tease you back Stay up all night with her when she's sick Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid Give her the world Let her wear your clothes When she's bored and sad, hang out with her Let her know she's important Kiss her in the pouring rain When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is: "Who's butt am I kicking babe?" If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Text you.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when you’re bored

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.