Good Afternoon. I know why you're here. And I have to ask you, was it worth it? Was it worth finding some random story, clicking on the author's name and finding me? Maybe you enjoyed your few chuckles and decided that maybe you'd find out who wrote it, hm? Or maybe I decided I liked your work and you were wondering who would be brash and foolish enough to assume the alias of BeastieMaker?

I hope so. Because it's the last thing you'll ever do-AAAHH!

-trips, lands flat on face-

Crivens...oh well, real profile start!

Hello! I'm BeastieMaker, master of all those horrible little critters you see running around in the half-light at night. Or are those voles...? Hmm... anyway I'm a rogue comedy writer that sometimes goes out of genre. I'm also a comic artist as well as part time ninja and full time Overlord.

I have other occupations and titles, but to get them all into such a small space would take a carefully ordered list. Which I don't have time for.

Oh yes, as you may have noticed, I actually changed my name, any you may ask why I would do this. Well the short answer is that I'm a capricious person with a lack of stimulation.

The LONG answer is that I've had that old name since I was like, seven, when I was all angsty and thought I was deep and clever, which shows that EVERYONE goes through a stage like that. Admittedly I did mine a little early but hey, we can't all take forever to grow up.

So yeah, my friend was like: "Your name sucks and doesn't suit you at all. Change it." And I replied: "That's all very nice and well, but what shall I call myself?" And she said: "Well, you draw creepy monsters all the time right?" And I said: "Yeah, what of it?" And she said: "Then you shall be BeastieMaker."

Yeah. I'm pretty sure all badasses get their names like that. I bet Beowulf got his at a drunken frat party or something. Yeaaaaaaaaaaah...Shut up.

Hey HEY HEY! It looks like I got forgotten while I was out! Bugger that! What, it only takes half a year of being AFK and a spontaneous name change to get you guys off my tail? 'Cuz if that's all it takes then I ought to remember that next time I get in trouble.

...Also I know that I've been on haitus for a while...Sorry 'bout that, loyal readers. I've been off messing around on RP forums and stuff...So yeah. I hope to get a computer or something soon so's that I can write freely again, but no promises, eh?

And here's the 'ol profile, updated like everything else.

Name: Enigma or Swordfish (whichever you prefer)

Age: Old enough to know better, young enough not to care

Gender: Only a girl would rant this much

Orientation: Wouldn't you like to know?

Likes: Games, cats, cheese, philosophy, writing, reading, mind games, crack anime, crack fics, humor, blood, goats, sugar, video games, Patapon, the Wabbajack, Terry Prachett, Kururu, jelly, Demetri Martin, Dave the Barbarian and Lord Sheogorath

Dislikes: Idiots. Not stupid people, idiots. Stupidity can be solved with a book, the only cure for an idiot is a shotgun and a shovel. Oh, and math, I don't like math.

Writing Strengths: Go read one o' my stories, silly!

Writing Weaknesses: Procrastination and not plotting out the middle of a story!

So there! That's me in a nutshell. Also if you wanna see my art just go here:

Mmmm...yeah. It's not very good. I mostly draw demons and stuff. It's all really only for the laughs.

And here's a rather pointless list. It's actually more for my benefit than yours- it's a place where I stash my ideas lest I forget them, ahaha.

Meta Dee: Status -Debated Existance- Badass, knight, antihero and...leader of the Waddle Dee?! Yes, it's Meta, revealing his true form as the avenger of all of the Waddle Dees that Kirby's ever killed! Second thoughts on those extra helpings of Waddle Dee Sandwich anyone?

Why Fight?: Status: -Laziness- The saga continues LATER.

Kururu Gets a Krick in the Back: -I'll get around to it- Self explanatory plot, really. I should make this soon.

Another KuruXMois Story: Maybe I'll make it, maybe I won't. Someone requested a bath scene.

Payment: Status: -Workin' on it- Keroro has finally done it. He's ticked off Kururu, inventor, sadist and above all mad genius. Now Kururu will torment, mock and annoy the Keroro Platoon until he gets what he wants. But will stubborn Keroro ever give in?

Antihero: Status: -haitus'd- Dark Link, you know him as a villain, a copy and a mini boss. But he is far more than a copy, rather he is a hero from another land, a much darker land. After all, who says being Dark makes you evil?

The Wizard of Irk:-sporadic- A collaboration between me and Chokopoppo. GIR gets his circuitry messed up and winds up in a hallucinated Wizard of Oz thing. Mainly it's just me and Choko messing around, but it's FUNNY.

...I like these line things. :)

I'm pretty sure that there are people in this word that can sit down and write stories and chapter that go on for more than a couple thousand words.

I am well aware that I am not one of them.

Mort De Rite