STUPID PRODUCT LABELS:

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping (Yeah, that's kind of hard to do, you know, use while sleeping).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside (How fun to be a shoplifter).

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap (I never would have guessed).

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost (Really? Amazingly ingenious).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down (Too late!).

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating (Fascinating. You learn something new every day. Like, the people who write this things are FREAKING MORONS!).

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body (Well, it would save time...).

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery (Ya we can really help stop those traffic accidents if we just get those toddlers to stop driving).

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness (I would hope so).

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children (Um. Okay...)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only (And my other options were...).

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use (Which would be...?).

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts (Oh wow. I didn't know that before).

On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts (Amazing. No one could ever do that without the help of the instructions on this packet. Great).

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands (I believe that was implied).

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly (So you don't want kids jumping off buildings, arms outstretched?).

I found this Hilarious ! _

SECRET MESSAGE (TRY TO READ IT)

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch sutdy at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you

can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht

slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that, copy it onto your profile

“Kill your enemies. Kill your friends’ enemies. Kill your friends.”

“You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder!”

“Sanity? Why would I want something as useless as that?”

“Violence is always the answer, and if it’s not solving all of your problems, you simpy aren’t using enough of it.”

“Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!”

“Don't hate yourself in the morning--sleep till noon.”

“You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?”

“Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?”

“We are not retreating… we are advancing in another direction.”

“I’m right ninety-seven percent of the time. Who cares about the other four percent?”

“They say ‘Guns don't kill people, people kill people.’ Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. That depends on whether you’re in a nursing home or not.”

“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

“Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!”

“Always forgive your enemies--Nothing annoys them more.”

“Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick.”

“There are three kinds of people in the world; people who can count; and people who can’t.”

“Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.”

“I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

“When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 2 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them."

“I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.”

“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”

"The light at the end of the tunnel is the train coming."

"Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head."

“Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

“Taste the rainbow--eat CRAYONS!!!"

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Forget scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.”

"If you wish on a falling star it might come true...unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth...then no wishes come true...unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth."

“It’s not dead till you poke it with a stick.”

“Dude. Calm down. It’s gym class.”

“Stop drop and roll doesn’t work in hell.”

“You can’t spell slaughter without laughter.”

“Would you like a side of epic with that fail?”

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.”

“Most people are only alive because it’s illegal to shoot them.”

“Some say the glass is half empty; some say the glass is half full. I say, “are you gonna drink that?”

“All people have the right to stupidity. Some abuse the privilege.”

“Do not drink and drive--you might spill the drink.”

“When life gives you lemons say “screw you” and go find an orange.”

“Never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

Most girls like pink

Most girls where eyeshadow and make-up

Most girls yell at rain

Most girls love guys who don't love them

Most girls be what other people want them to be

Most girls love to be hated, and hate to be loved

Most girls are selfish

Most girls are fake But. . .

Other girls like red

Other girls where nothing but their dirty clothes from yesterday

Other girls play in the rain

Other girls kick a guy when they don't love them

Other girls be themselves

Other girls laugh at being hated, and love to be loved

Other girls care for others before themselves

Other girls are real

Most girls think this is stupid and hate it, Other girls will love this and post it immediately

Fanfiction.net- When you cant sleep you stay up until 4:30 in the morning reading fanfictions and biting you had so you dont laugh.

Sayings and how I think they should go( a TLA original):

When life gives you lemons you make lemonade- When life gives you lemons you make lemonade, When life gives you water you make lemonade, When life gives you sugar you make lemonade, now if you don't have any of these things GO TO THE STUPID STORE AND BUY SOME BECAUSE I WANT A GLASS FRIKIN LEMONADE!!!!

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you- Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will leave deep emotional scars that only 0.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999991% of the adult population will ever manage to heal.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, as long as you perfect your aim because if you hit him right here on the head it will give him a concusion.

95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!!

If Justin Bieber shaved his head bald, 95% of girls would cry. Copy and paste this if you are the 5% running up and down the street screaming YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

98% of Girls would cry if Justin Bieber dissapeared off the face of the Earth. Post this on your page if you are one of the 2% that would run around the house screaming: "Yay! I'll never have to hear his irritating voice ever again!"

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a 6 story building. Copy and paste this if you'd be one of the 10 percent yelling jump bitch!

You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat. 97% of people would yell "STOP!" 2% of them would cheer, 1% of them would take the baseball bat and hit the kid then take the puppy to the Vet. Post this on you profile if you are that 1%... It isn't my fault that that boy died! I swear i wasn't trying to break his neck with the bat!

Some people say they are big readers. That they're so into books it's not funny. However the only way to tell is if they 1) Suddenly gasp when something exciting happens in the book. 2) Start talking to the book because that's not how they want the book to go. 3) Hurl the book across the room when one of their favorite characters dies. 4) When you find out when the next book is coming out, you pre-order it... Even if the release date is next year. Copy and paste this if you are one of these people

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, monkyluvr, Darth KenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster,EwanLuvr4Ever, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, JaneVolturi, LOSTSOULOFTHEUNDERWORLD, DarkAngel620, Dithinus, Glitterthorn, PinkFuzzBall, Eien no Akumu, COOKIEMONSTER0077, Angel.of.Guilt, Lucy Ashley from Fairy Tail, Naturesshadows, THE LOLLIPOP ASSASSIN, ArTyStoLe

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13. People call another Guy fat. No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight . People call an old man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.People call a women bald but they don't know she has cancer Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 95% of you won't do it

If you were killed today, Im sorry I wouldnt be able to come to your funeral because i'd be in jail for killing the person who did it.. copy and paste this to your profile if you're a REAL friend!!