Mmm.. I am not very good at making profiles so I guess I just need to describe myself and such eh? Lets see..

Name: Not gonna tell you Sorry. (sorry I have paranoid personality disorder and hey what’s the internet for if not anonymity?)

Gender: Male (Yes I am male, and yes I enjoy yaoi.. I am the somewhat rare yaoi-fanboy)

Age: 20 (;-; i'm an old man now)

Favorite Bands: Pink Floyd, Placebo, Muse, Voltaire, No Mind (Some random British 'garage band' I found accidentally, I really love the guys voice), and.. other then that I like songs, I don’t really like bands.

Favorite Movies: Donny Darko, The Chumscrubber, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, A Scanner Darkly, and Pink Floyd - The Wall. (I like 'mind-fuck' movies so sue me)

Hobbies: Reading, Writing, Drawing, Psychology, Engineering, Programming (I was a professional programmer for a while but I got bored of it.), Sculpting, Painting, Procrastinating (Really annoying habit I need to break), and Sleeping.

Things I Need To Do:

Draw Fanart (I really can't think of any better way to thank an author for writing a very good fic than to draw fanart for their fics, of course my procrastination skills come with excuses, my scanner is on the fritz, well.. I need to install it.. but no one needs to know that's why it isnt working!)

Write My Damn Fic (I procrastinate way too much, I have this detailed outline and a partially written first chapter just sitting here on my harddrive and yet I avoid it like the plague.)

Likes:

Crazy People!! (I just love insane people they always make me smile.)

Manipulating people (I like messing with peoples perspectives what can I say?)

Writing Theories (I don't know why but I have always liked trying to explain the illogical.)

Solving Problems (Like logical deduction.)

Rambling ('nuff said.. When I get passionate about something I have to explain every tiny detail, I don't know why but I do.)

Dislikes:

Stupid People (Look you can be as arrogant and narcissistic as you want so long as you have a brain.. Wow stupid people actually coveres more then I thought.)

People who lack common sense (more like extremely rare sense, I mean it in my opinion someone with common sense is worth ten times their weight in gold.)

Extremists of any kind (Although.. they are fun as hell to mess with.)

People who try to turn gay guys straight (We like men, deal with it.)

Racists, and Sexists (It goes both ways. Minorities can be just as racist as non-minorities. Women can be just as sexist as men. I personally do not tolerate this from either side. Look you cant ask for protection from racism or sexism and then turn around and spew it out yourself, either everyone is allowed to be racist/sexist or no one is. Everyone is equal, no one diserves revenge for something their ancestors wen't through, I mean really look at history both sides went through the same thing at some point in time, and dont say 'oh but it was on such a different scale' of course it was on a fucking different scale there where huge population differences, you have to go with population percentages not the actual numbers of people. I mean if you put 100 people in one room 50 people suffer, and 10 people in another room and 5 people suffers its still a 1/2 ratio in both rooms. I would love to go through and list an example for every single arguement on both sides but this is already turning into a rant.)

Most other things.. (As you can tell if I where to go into detail this would be several hundred pages long. So I just put what has been bugging me most lately.)

Pointless Rants:

I guess I will use the bit of psychology I understand to explain why I think things that I do. Oh and yes I compare people to dogs quite alot, because lets face it our behavioral development is so damn similiar to that of dog training.

I would assume in a warrior society such as the ninja world of Naruto, bisexuality would not be discouraged, I mean it only stands to reason that a Soldier would fight harder and more efficiently if they had a lover or lovers in the immediate vicinity to defend. Now I acknowledge exclusive homosexuality may be strongly discouraged as it could jeopardize bloodlines, however I believe exclusive heterosexuality would also be discouraged especially in times of war, a pregnant konoichi would be far less capable of combat, for obvious reasons. Now I can also see the need to produce as many children of specific bloodlines as possible after or during a war, in which I would assume civilian surrogate mothers would be employed for this task, I do not think they would just have their warriors mate with the villagers and in some cases I think it may be quite impossible, I would not put sterilization or castration past interrogators in which case the soldier would be sexually incapable, now before we jump down the “oh they are useless to their bloodline” path we must consider this; technically one can reproduce without any reproductive organs, when a fertile egg has its nucleus removed it can be replaced with the nucleus of a blood cell thus changing that half of the parental equation, an egg may also be impregnated by artificial sperm which is also made from a blood cell so the bloodline may be continued through this method, I would not put this level of genetic technology past the Ninja’s in the world of Naruto, Technically the real world already has this level of technology however it is banned in most civilized nations due to various religious beliefs. With this point put forth sexuality may be completely irrelevant heterosexuality would not be necessary for reproduction merely convenient, in fact Ninja breeding may be done similar to how we breed dogs, in an attempt to encourage specific traits in future generations ‘donor parents’ may be selected, the child would then be given to a clan of said ‘donor parents’ to help with the development of said traits. If this where the case sexual intercourse would be merely recreational, or a method in which to build comradeship therefore no, one path would be the “correct path” when it comes to sexuality.

I think Naruto is gay, why you might ask; Simple a persons development is very similar to that of training a dog, we associate certain things with bad and certain things with good such as a dog would associate bad behavior with getting smacked with a newspaper, and good behavior with being rewarded with a treat. The reason many psychologists try to pin homosexuality solely on an abusive, or neglectful mother is because the child will associate females with pain. Now for Naruto he grew up being completely shunned and abused by the villager’s right? Well the only ones who treated him as human where male, so it only stands to reason that he would make the association of females = bad, males = good. Even later on in the series for the most part females where abusive and neglectful towards him for whatever reasons. A lifetime of hurt cannot be erased so easily, associations made as such would be nearly impossible to counteract.

I also think Sasuke is either gay or completely asexual; again this has to do with associations. When having somewhat throw themselves at you constantly you tend to develop an extreme annoyance with anyone even slightly similar to them, therefore the entire female population constantly throwing themselves at Sasuke would develop into an association of females = extreme annoyance, males = lesser annoyance. We also cannot completely throw out his unhealthy obsession with his brother. Having males on the mind at all times with the final outcome being pleasure cannot have absolutely no affect on the subjects personality.

Why the hell is Hinata the only character who is safe from bashing? I think a series of Hinata bashing fics should come out soon to make up for lost time. I am starting to hate Hinata because of how she is always safe and always "liked" in every fic, she is never the person the reader hates.

I find M-Pregs theoretically possible, as recently transplanting womb’s have been successful (therefore through magic, genetic mutation, or extensive surgery an M-Preg is possible), it is even possible for certain species to be capable of fulfilling the roles of both genders, (however in this case there would not be two genders as there would be no need for such a thing therefore removing the whole concept of M-Preg), what I don’t understand about M-Pregs is the resulting child almost always being female, it’s highly improbable, the reason gender is random in a heterosexual couple is the fact that all eggs produced by a female carry an X chromosome if the sperm produced by the male contains an X chromosome the resulting child will be female, if the sperm contains a Y chromosome the child will be male. Though not always the case an egg derived from male DNA is almost definitely going to contain a Y chromosome. (By removing the nucleus from an egg cell and replacing the nucleus with the DNA from a male blood, bone marrow, stem cell, the egg would then operate in the same manner as before except containing the genetic information of the male DNA donor, instead of the female who produced the cell.) After this is done it wouldn’t really matter what chromosome the sperm used contains, if fertilization is successful and the fertilized egg contains YY chromosomes it is highly that development till conception may occur, an XY chromosome is male. The chance of female offspring from two male parents has a genetic probability of about 3. (The male body contains about 6 cells of XX decent, divide that by 2 as the sperm has a 50/50 chance of containing male or female genetic information, and the result is about 3 probability of female offspring.) And actually the likelihood of a true female offspring is even less, it is more likely that the resulting child will contain an XXY (hermaphrodite) genetic structure, and purely physiologically speaking a hermaphrodite is male as they contain testicles and not ovaries, however these testicles are little more than dead weight in most cases as their bodies tend to be immune to testosterone and not all hermaphrodites actually have any external male organs, its probable that several happily married heterosexual couples are actually homosexual by technicality because the ‘wife’ is physiologically male. (XYX does not exist, and XYY would be male.)

Okay I am done with my little rant for now, and my comments may seem a little… weird… but hey you try writing something like this while extremely intoxicated.

Favorite Yaoi Pairings:

SasuNaru (Sasuke is attracted to power, something that Naruto has even if Sasuke does not want to acknowledge it. Sasuke was the first and so far only person to recognize Naruto and when I say this I mean without it being out of pity, sense of duty, trying to replace someone else, or fear. This pairing is by far the most logical I can think of, I do not think however that Naruto would go all ‘Super-Uke’ just because he is together with Sasuke, Naruto has that rebellious spirit that would prevent him from completely submitting. However Sasuke has a dominating and manipulative personality, where as Naruto is more likely to compromise so I think that the outcome would be Sasuke = Seme, Naruto = Uke.)

NaruGaa (Though I don't find it incredibly likely I can see the potential for a relationship, and I would think that Gaara would be submissive towards the one who beat him.)

NaruNaru (Oh come on everyone knows if you could do Kage Bunshin no Jutsu you would be screwing yourself, or at least Naruto would, he seems vain enough. I mean really Kage Bunshin+Hengen would be like the ultimate form of masturbation.)

ShinoNaru (I know its not supported by the Cannon at all, but I really think it would make a funny couple, I mean don't you think they would balance eachother out? Naruto is abnoxious and Shino is too quite... Actually if we go by "naruhina" logic the recent episode in which Shino sulks because Naruto didn't remember him could be considered Cannon support.)

NaruHaku (Okay, this is really just because I have never seen a NaruHaku fic that didnt have gender changing, I want to see a NaruHaku yaoi for once!)

KakaIru (I really don’t think this pairing makes much sense, I mean Kakashi is rather condescending and rude to Iruka. But this pairing does make rather good filler, and makes for humorous comments and excuses for Kakashi)

Uh… at the moment I cant think of any other pairings that belong in this category I will update it later.

Favorite Hetero Pairings:

LeeHina (Lets face it Hinata has an extreme princess complex, and Lee is the only one I can see who would be a good match for her, While I believe opposites attract I also believe that their must be compatibility. Lee has energy and an outgoing personality but he is also fiercely loyal and protective which is what Hinata wants and needs.)

NaruTema (Temari is the only female I can see Naruto with, she is strong, and understands the Jinchuriki. having one for a brother makes her the most accepting towards Naruto’s plight. She has a strong will that I think would be good for Naruto)

GaaAnko (A blood drunk serial killer and a sadist whats not to love?)

KankaroTenTen (Based only off of their fighting style, they both only use weapons.)

IbikiAnko (Sorry I just think that makes the perfect sadomasochistic pairing. XD)

KibaSaku (I think this makes a good personality match, but I do accept it is completely unsupported by the cannon.)

Most Hated Yaoi Pairings:

ItaSasu (Okay incest really disgusts me, the only time I tolerate this pairing is when its done for drama such as Sasuke is raped by Itachi. I really don’t like this pairing when it’s consensual.)

KankaroGaara (Same as above.)

OroNaru (Again I can only see this as being non-consensual and done solely for drama. I really don’t see Naruto going off and getting molested by a sadistic pedophile of his own free will.)

Most Hated Hetero Pairings:

NaruHina (Ugh don’t even get me started on one-sided prepubescent crushes. Not only do I think their personalities are incompatible, I really don’t see Naruto going from not even noticing someone to blushing and fidgeting whenever that person is near. I am also sick and tired of people using Naruto’s fight with Neji as backup for Naruto returning the affection, he did the same damn thing for Lee, Gaara, Sasuke, Tsunade, and Sakura so by that logic, Naruto must be a slut.)

SasuSaku (Okay really how the hell would this happen? Do you really think Sasuke is gonna go from finding Sakura annoying and pathetic to wanting to play tonsil hockey with her? No, I don’t see that happening either, because lets face it Sakura is annoying and pathetic that is what defines her.)

SasuxAnyone (Really I can't see Sasuke with any female, in my opinion he's either Gay or A-Sexual, the only possible female I can see him pairing with would be one who is disinterested, such a character has yet to show themselves.)

NejiHina (Same thing as ItaSasu, I don’t see this pairing happening unless it’s in a non-consensual situation.)

NaruTsunade (Okay Eww… the only way I see this working is in a time-travel fic.)

AnyonexSaku (Sakura can die a virgin for all I care, or be “what’s known as a practice girl” to quote Family Guy… lol I am just kidding, I just don’t see her with Sasuke or Naruto. Kiba maybe…)

My stance on Yuri Pairings:

I do not enjoy Yuri as it is my exact opposite, I have no problems with lesbians in fact one of my best friends is a lesbian, however due to our sexualities being polar opposites we have a little rule in which you never bring up your sex life as it is bound to make the other uncomfortable. Having said this I have no problems with fic's containing Yuri Pairings I will however skip all citrus involving said Yuri couples.

Stories:

These are stories I plan to either start writing or have already started.

Untitled:

What is evil? Does evil exist? No it can’t exist, all evil is the result of trying to do good. The victorious of history decide what is good and evil, failing to realize that there are those who still remember.

Warnings: Character Bashing, Verbal/Emotional Abuse, Death, Physical Abuse, and uhh... I think thats it so far, I honestly have like 3 chapters done I just cant get the damn first chapter finished because of reasons I mention in "Notes", I wish I could just skip the first chapter but its absolutely vital plot building.

Pairings: SasuNaru, Arashi(fem!Kyuubi), ObitoKaka, a good chance of KakaIru, and some others but they arnt really set in stone.

(Kyuubi is only sorta female... You will understand after the first chapter, if I ever can get past my damn laziness.)

(I know 'Arashi's name is really Minato but I really dislike that name it just doesnt roll of the tongue very well.)

Rating: Probably M because I don’t want to be restricted to a lesser rating, I may deem it necessary to place extreme language, extreme gore/violence, or a lime/lemon..

Status: Started.. (I keep running into this huge problem when writing, I have accurately named this problem.. MIDTERMS!)

Notes: I swear I have started this, but I am stuck, I have the beginning and end of the first chapter written and its already at about 15k words, I really suck at focusing on heterosexual couples but I have to write this as it is sets up vital plot for later on. I also have the outlines written for about 10 other chapters, its all hanging on that damn heterosexual romance, bleagh why does it have to be so boring? I suppose I should just barrel through it with bland stereotypical romance so I can get on with the damn story, the next five chapters will be so much more fun to write.

Plots I Like:

Evil Main Characters (I love demonic/dark characters I just think they are so adorable.. 'Sitting there laughing manically while plotting our doom.' Lets Face it evil characters tend to be hot, you cant deny that.. This all goes back to my loving insane people, I think its that look in their eye..)

Character Bashing (For some reason when I am depressed or just had a bad day, Character Bashing always gives me back my smile. Not that I have anything against the characters I just think its funny as hell, I just sit there snickering uncontrollably. =D)

Suicide Fic's (I don't know why, but I like letting books, television, and fic's control my emotions.. I usually finish off a suicide fic with a character bashing fic to bring myself to neutral.)

AU Fantasy Fic's (I don't really like fic's based in the real modern world, mostly because when I am reading I am trying to escape reality, a fantasy AU is always nice because they usually use some new angles to keep the story interesting, they arn't limited to what was in the series.)

Lemons (I don’t really get off on them I just find them incredibly funny, especially because more often then not the lemon authors have no clue about male anatomy let alone the sensations of being penetrated or penetrating, in many cases I understand the use of overly poetic analogies when referring to intercourse because they make the act seem so much more intimate and beautiful, describing how sex is hot, sweaty, messy, occasionally dirty ‘if you don’t know, don’t ask’, these descriptions just… doesn’t do it for most people.)

Plots I Hate:

Unexplained gender changes (Look I absolutely hate when people make a Female Naruto fic. I don’t see any reason behind chopping off Naruto’s Man bits, I mean do you honestly think it’s going to attract SasuNaru fans? This is just a pathetic attempt to make a Yaoi while trying to pretend to be heterosexual. And as for Female Haku’s, just because someone looks girly doesn’t mean they are required to be female, I know plenty of guys that look girlier than most girls, and plenty of girls that look manlier than most men, does that mean I should force them to go have their gender changed? No that doesn’t.)

Unexplained or Rushed Super-Character fic’s (Everyone must work for power, handing it to them on a silver platter would only be asking for accidents to happen. Now I don’t mind super-character fic’s especially when it is explained. But things like “oh Naruto was born merged with the knowledge and power of the Kyuubi now he is gonna save the world and everyone will love him because he’s the epitome of awesome.” Just piss me off.)

Pointless Crossovers (Cannons can be merged or transferred almost seamlessly so why have “Oh my god a portal just opened up now millions of random characters are jumping through”? I mean really put some thought into crossovers.)

Prepubescent Relationships (Little kids are not gonna want to play tonsil hockey with one another I mean come on this is the time of their lives when boys think girls have ‘cooties’. Really they are not going to have sexual attractions to one another, one-sided crushes are one thing but relationships are a completely different thing.)

Overly Important OC's (Look I like original characters but they have to believable I mean I hate the "Oh I/My Character teleported to the world of whatever, and suddenly all the real series characters want to throw their personalities out the window so they can be my perfect mate." if anything OC's should only be in relationships with other OC's or minor characters, I can understand a one-sided crush or a "just for fun 'friends-with-benefits'". An OC can easily be a main character just don't make them overshadow the real series characters unless of course its like the future an the real series characters are long dead. Like this one I read where it was Naruto's grandchildren or something like that, I don't quite remember it was quite a while ago.)

Random M-Pregs (Impregnating a male character does not save a fic, when the plot is rapidly deteriorating its best to either end it or go on hiatus. I stop reading fic's the moment I detect the use of M-Preg in an attempt to salvage lost plot. I really do not mind M-Pregs and I find them perfectly acceptable in many fic's but they should never be used to save a fic as it is just annoying.)