I have deleted Goodbye Forever, Cream Cheese, Alvarna Legend, Love Story. Forgive me for those who loved those stories, but I do felt it was appropriate, considering that I am planning to have a fresh start in writing. When I read all those stories I have previously deleted, I could not help but feel how childish, amateurish and immature I was a long time ago. I do not want to be reminded of that part of myself, as I deemed it trivial and unnecessary in real life. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

But if you really want those stories to be published in this website once more, you can PM me and tell me which story you want me to publish. However, I WILL make some changes because, as I have said before, I want to make a fresh start. Publishing the deleted stories in their original copy is not synonymous to me having a fresh start. But don't worry, they will be much, much better than the old. That, I can assure you.

One of the few things I've noticed in FFN about the writers and one thing I've tried to avoid in my writing is the use of curse words, especially with Japan as the setting of the fic. Don't get me wrong, I personally don't think there's anything wrong with using curse words in writing, but when author's use too much of it, the characters starts to feel too... American for me. It's fine if the characters are from America for America is quite liberal about things, but for Asians, especially the Japanese, Chinese and Koreans, they tend to conform to social norms and good manners rigidly. They might slip up or break away from time to time, but they would usually get back on the previous path they were in. The same goes with cursing. They would curse, but not too often to the point where it becomes a habit.

I would know because I live in Asia myself, and I've had a lot of Chinese and Japanese friends. They stick to status quo almost religiously, and deny or block away anything that doesn't fit in their regime. Granted, they've become more open minded, but nevertheless they still stick to manners and decorum. So to have Japanese characters say things like, "F@cking shit man, I'm not doing this crap anymore" is already something I've considered OOC, when you take Asian social cultures into account. The only kind of exception to this rule I could think of is when the characters are of Asian heritage, but grew up in a western country.

One reviewer have stated that they felt my writing was too Victorian, too much like 20th century literature. But that is how I write because I want to represent Asian cultures and manners properly. So if you guys think that my writing feels a bit out dated or formal, well, now you know my reason. I hope this clears a few things about my writing style.

A FUJOSHI’S RANT

Okay, I know I’m basically asking for it right now but I really can’t stand holding it in after all this time. Here we go, and let’s make a majority of the shoujo fans hate me more than they already do.

Since I’m ranting about shoujo mangas, I don’t need to tell everybody that there are going to be spoilers, right? You should be able to get the message.

Now, I love shoujo manga. I love it ever since I was a little kid, but as I grew up, I kept on finding annoying and recurring themes in shoujo mangas that not only pissed me off but made me feel like, ‘F@ck this, I’m not reading this anymore.’ What, you may ask, is the problem?

The heroines. I swear, the HEROINES.

I know that most mangaka who specializes in shoujo love to make generic, cookie cutter heroines; ones who are very cheerful, stubborn, slightly temperamental and very cute. But frankly, it’s not working for me. The more ‘good’ the mangaka makes them out to be, the more Mary Sue I find them. And this takes a good chunk of entertainment I may find when reading shoujo or watching shoujo anime. If they are not of the attributes I’ve stated, then they are either doormat-y or just too tsundere for me to actually enjoy.

One example I find in one shoujo anime (Yes, I’m audacious enough to actually give EXAMPLES. I guess flamers and haters will be hot on my trail after this) is Yui Komori from Diabolik Lovers. I like her character design (it’s very cute), and I also like her seiyuu but her character? No. Just no. Come on, girl. You have a house full of hot, abusive, wife-beating, bishie vampires just EAGER to suck your blood dry, and instead of running the hell away from that place, you stay?! WHY? Why damnit? And why are you taking all the abuse they kept throwing at you, girl? You could die there! But since she’s too stupid to realize danger, she’s all ‘OH EM GEE!!! HOT BISHIE VAMPS! LET ME PICK MY WIFEBEATER!111!!’ –Sigh- And fangirls justify all the sh!t the guys kept heaping on the poor girl trough some Freudian Excuse in the form of a sad backstory. Oh BOO HOO HOO, listen. Having a sad, angsty backstory does give some form of justification to their personalities, but not all of their actions, especially when said abuse in the first place is unwarranted.

Misao from Black Bird also suffers being a doormat and being a girl with no sense of safety. You know that you are a delicious meal to demons and yokai. You know that you could be eaten or assaulted anytime you went out of the house unprotected. But instead, she just freely goes around, without any form of protection against them (at least, not before Kyo’s appearance and her other suitors) and expects to be SAFE at the end of the day? Really? Dear sensei, why do you make her character this way? I really can’t feel sympathetic towards her with all the demons and yokais out to eat and rape her, not when she’s practically ASKING FOR IT.

Then there’s Misa Amane from Death Note. Oh, Misa. Boy, Misa. Don’t even get me started on her. Yuuki Kuran from Vampire Knight too. She’s okay, still slightly annoying but after her transformation into a pureblood, it finally snapped in me. No. Absolutely no, Yuki. Heck, I liked Rima, Luka and Yori over Yuki a million times over. At least those girls aren’t cruel or idiotic enough.

Though there are some that gets better. Mikan Sakura from Gakuen Alice, Sakura Haruno from Naruto (though Naruto isn’t shoujo to begin with), and Orihime Inoue from Bleach (another non shoujo manga, but eh never mind) are some. To me, all of them starts as being annoying; Mikan was too loud and too dense to the point of being plain stupid, Sakura was far too annoying with her fangirling over Sasuke and treating Naruto like crap, and Orihime was too much of a timid girl to the point of being doormat-y. But as the series progresses, we see them have some form of character development, usually good ones. Mikan no longer relies and screams so much over Hotaru and Natsume and actually became quite the plucky main character. Sakura was really great after FINALLY getting over her obsession of Sasuke (so I was really disappointed when the two of them get hitched. No offense, SasuSaku fans, but I can’t see Sasuke EVER getting romantically involved with someone. If he ever had a partner he would gladly spend the rest of his life with, it’s most probably Naruto, in both romantic and platonic light [though that could just be my fujoshi side talking XD]. Seeing them both suddenly all over each other didn’t do well for me, it just wasn’t believable to think that Sasuke suddenly developed romantic feelings for her. The only logical reasoning I could think of was Sakura is the only one suitable enough for Sasuke to resurrect his clan, for she’s arguably the most powerful kunoichi by the end of the series. But, really, Sasuke should just be left alone. I just can’t see him in a romantic relationship with anybody. Sasuke is not meant for romantic character developments.) Orihime was amazing after the arc in which Aizen was defeated.

Some shoujo manga protagonist who are also noteworthy are Kyoko Mogami from Skip Beat, Misaki Ayuzawa from Kaichou wa Maid Sama, Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran High School Host Club, Princess Sakura from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, Sakura Kinomoto from Cardcaptor Sakura and Isuzu Sentou from Amagi Brilliant Park. They are very good leads, one with good character development and steady, relatable personality. Personally, I like these types of protagonist, ones which are slightly flawed but still strive for the best with their own abilities without mostly relying on anyone to pick up the slack whenever they fail. I really, really like them.

Non-shoujo manga protagonist who are my favourite are Saber (King Arthur) of Fate/Stay Night, Erza Scarlet from Fairy Tail, Chitanda Eru from Hyouka, Kagura from Gintama, Mikasa Ackerman from Shingeki no Kyojin, Mirai Kuriyama from Kyoukai no Kanata and Saya Otonashi from Blood. They kick ass, I swear, they make guys look like a bunch of total pansies.

But even with good female protagonist, sometimes it still can’t defeat my male OTPs. Ahahaha. My guilty pleasures as of now are (the order shows no importance):

L x Light Yagami from Death Note (the famous hand cuffed duo! They have more chemistry together than Light with Misa could ever have)

Kurogane x Fai/Fay from TRC (when you’re willing to give your blood and spend the rest of your life with that person, it had to be love)

Shizuka Doumeki x Kimihiro Watanuki from xxxholic (not only did they share blood, they also shared their eyesight! Really, what more evidence do you want?)

Suzaku Kururugi x Lelouch Lamperouge a.k.a. Lelouch vi Brittania from Code Geass (that scene at the end of Zero Requiem. Ugh, so much tension, I just can’t. And the tension is always there throughout the entire series)

Mikaela Hyakuya x Yuu Hyakuya from Owari no Seraph (Ohh, the amount of chemistry and subtext between those two, and it’s not even a BL manga)

Toshiro Hijikata x Gintoki Sakata from Gintama (I swear Sunrise, what’s with all the ship tease between these two? It’s as if you WANT people to ship them both)

Tobio Kageyama x Shouyo Hinata from Haikyuu!! (Best…sports pair…ever)

Sephiroth x Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII (The dialogues between these two are pure gold, really)

Frau x Teito Klein from 07-Ghost (Frau to Teito: 'I like your soul so I wouldn’t mind dying by your hands if I had to.' Hmmm… Then, there’s the promise collar to think of..)

Yuri Shibuya x Wolfram von Bielefeld from Kyo Kara Maoh! (They could have dissolved their engagement ages ago, but they didn’t. Hmm….)

Kaito Shion x Len Kagamine from Vocaloid (Damn, that song ‘Haitoku no Kioku’ really did the trick for me)

Toshiki Kai x Aichi Sendou from Cardfight! Vanguard (Mates, eh Kai? Real subtle there…)

Raven a.k.a. Raymond x Lucius from Fire Emblem Elibe: Blazing Sword (Lots of housewife references here)

Any Ships in Free! Iwatobi Swim Club except with females (Anything is possible there, there’s a lot of subtext and feels going on between the male characters and barely anything with the female characters)

Now, just because I ship a lot of male characters together doesn’t mean I think Het is Eww. Far from it. I still love my shoujo manga such as Hibi Choucho, Kaichou wa Maid Sama, Rosario x Vampire, To-Love Ru, Ao Haru Ride, Skip Beat, just to name a few. But when it’s hard to find good, believable romance plots with a nice female lead, it’s really not surprising that I turn to the BL community. At least they have plenty of quality stories, BELIEVABLE and REALISTIC ones in fact (well, as believable and realistic as homosexual relationships go anyway) as compared with shoujo manga community, where the stories are so stereotypical they make my eyes go sleepy because of the cliché-ness.

So, to shoujo manga mangakas, please do a better job next time. Otherwise, I’ll have to resort to reading and writing fanfictions to satisfy my shoujo fantasies.

Wait… I’m already doing that.

Ah, oh well. Might as well continue with it. The shoujo manga community isn’t going to change simply because of this ridiculous rant of mine anyway.