Beth: Hello and welcome to my pink, fluffy world with sprinkles on the top.
Nossira: Ooh they can read this? *Claps hands keenly* Wow! Hello people! Hello!
Beth: Shut up. This is meant to be about me!
Nossira: Helloooo!!!
Chiaminto: Nossira, calm yourself *swipes at Nossira*
Nossira: Get off of me before I start biting!
Beth: I'm going to count to three...
El Nombré: Count! To three? I can teach you how to count to three!
Beth: Thanks, El Nombré mate, but I can do that already. 1, 2-
Nossira: Eleven?
Beth: Eleven! Not Eleven! Eleven haunts me *runs around like a loon*. Ahem. Anyway, no, Nossira, not eleven, three! Threeee, can you say that?
Nossira: Don't patronise me, or I'll bite you.
Chiaminto: She will, you know.
Grawp: The probability of that happening is about two thirds.
Beth: Hey! Since when could you talk?
Grawp: Oh, Beth, my dear, a lot has changed since your last profile.
Beth: *nods* indeed it has.
Nossira: Freaks. Let's go and do something dangerous, El Nombré.
Yzma: Something dangerous, you say? What about carrying out an assassination for me? I want to dispose of a certain Emperor.
Kuzco: He, like you could ever kill me! Get out of here, old lady, before I call my guards on you! Oh Guards!
Guards: We were in the middle of something!
Kuzco: *Groans* Oh what was it this time?
Guards: Watercolour challenge!
Kuzco: Please. Someone. Help.
Nossira: I'll get'um! *Kills guards*.
Yzma: Ok. Can you kill Kuzco too?
Nossira: Only if you turn me into a llama *flutters lashes*.
Harry Potter: That can be arranged.
Beth: Where the hell did you come from?
Harry Potter: *strokes chin* if I told you, I'd have to kill you.
Nossira: Yay!

Beth: Anyway. Here's my profile. I'm sixteen, English, female (obviously) and I hardly ever write fanfiction. In fact I've only just started. Look at me 'long' list of stories below *points*. On fictionpress I'm faerie-gumdrops, which is where some of the characters above *points again* come from. Erm. I like reviews (doesn't everyone?)and I return them. I have a wierd sense of humour, and i plan to take over the world with it some day.

check out 'Taking Back the Crown' by fantasmagorical - it's a joint story written by a few people on FP - I just wrote chappie one and am exhausted! It's at http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1711591
Please Please Please come join my group! It hasn't really got a set theme or anything, so just come to chat, post stories, pictures, polls, whatever.
The adress is:
If it doesn't let you join just email me at zorrille@aol.com and I'll invite you - unless of course I'm at school, then my address will be 99oconem@christs-hospital.org.uk - just try both.

The Best Emperor's New Groove Quotes!!!

Pacha
Ok so this is mainly a Kuzco quote - but Pacha says nothing interesting!

Pacha: Uh Oh
Kuzco: Let me guess, we're about to go over a huge waterfall
Pacha: Yup
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likley
Kuzco: Bring it on

Kuzco

Kuzco: Llama face!

Kuzco: Ooh look at me and my bad self - I snatched you right out of the air - ooh I'm a crumbling canyon wall and I'm going to take you down with me - well not today pal! Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh uh huh uh huh!

Kuzco: Yay I'm a llama again - oh wait

Kuzco: Ok maybe I'm new to this whole recuing thing but this - to me - might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?

Kuzco: I don't know about you but I'm kinda getting all funned out.

Kuzco: I'm so happy!

Kuzco: When I give the word, your little town thingy will be bye bye. Bye bye!

Kronk

Kronk: That's one more for exotic bird bingo! I am loving this!

Kuzco: Do I smell burning?
Kronk: My spinach puffs! (rushes off)
Kuzco: So. He seems nice.
Yzma: He is
Kuzco: He's what in his late twenties?
Yzma: I'm not sure.
Kronk: Saved them!
Yzma & Kuzco: Very good Kronk, great job-
Kronk: Watch it - they're still hot.

Kronk: Oh the poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?

Shoulder Angel: You're not just gonna let his die are you?
Kronk: My shoulder angel!
Shoulder Devil: Don't listen to that guy, he's trying to lead you down the path of riteousness - I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks!
Shoulder Angel: Oh come off it
Shoulder Devil: You come off it
Shoulder Angel: You
Shoulder Devil: You
Shoulder Angel: You
Shoulder Devil: You infinity
Shoulder Angel: Grr.
Shoulder Devil: Listen up big guy, I got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Reason number one - look at that guy! He's got that sissy stringy music thing-
Shoulder Angel: We've been through this, it's a harp, and you know it.
Shoulder Devil: Yeah that's a harp, and that's a dress.
Shoulder Angel: Robe!
Shoulder Devil: Reason number two - look what I can do!
Kronk: But wait what's that gotta do with-
Shoulder Angel: No no, he's got a point.
There you go.

Here is a little play thing. Most of the characters are from my stories, apart from Maria, Little Juan, Mama and El Nombre who are from Numbertime - a program that teaches lil kids to count. Wow I am so mature.

El Nombre and the Evil Hannah-Demon (none of the characters in my story - but it's got me in it! and it's based (sadly) on a true story)

Magical Beth Fairy: Oh yummy yum. I am looking forward to school lunch ever so much!

Stomach: Rumble.

Magical Beth Fairy : You said it, my friend. Look! The Queue is short! We will get there first!

Stomach (happily): Rumble!

Narrator: But alas. It was not to be, for the Evil Hannah Demon, evilest thing alive in the world of CH, slipped in front of the magical wonderful, perfect-in-every-way Beth fairy.

Magical Beth Fairy: Alas! It is the Evil Hannah Demon!

Evil Hannah Demon: Yes! 'Tis I! Mwahaha! I will get in front of the queue!

Narrator: And so the Evil Hannah Demon did. The Magical Beth fairy thought very hard, and her best imaginary friends popped up on her shoulder.

Little Juan: Oh no! It is the Evil Hannah Demon! What are we to do?

Maria: I don't know, little Juan, but I bet I know someone who does!

All: El Nombré!

Narrator: And so the whole lunch queue burst into the El Nombré theme tune, and did a fabulous dance routine. El Nombré swung down on his magical rope from nowhere - and twisted his ankle.

El Nombré: shit.

Magical Beth Fairy: Alas, with El Nombré wounded, we do not stand a chance! Ecce! The Evil Hannah Demon is nearing the front of the queue!

Maria: Oh no! What are we to do!

Magical Beth Fairy: I don't know!

Little Juan: I have an idea! Why do you not run to the front of the queue, magical wonderful Beth fairy who is perfect in every way?

Evil Hannah Demon: What!?!? You cannot run! You are so fit, sporty and speedy that I won't stand a chance.

Magical Beth Fairy (knowingly): I know. I know.

Narrator: And so the Magical Beth Fairy began to walk very fast. In a few seconds she was ahead of the Hannah Demon. As she walked past, she uttered a jubilant cry.

Magical Beth Fairy: Haha!

Little Juan: Hey, beautiful, magical, wonderful Beth fairy, look at the floor!

Narrator: But Alas it was too late! Before the absolutely-perfect-in-every-way Beth fairy knew it, she had slipped on a wet puddle, and was on the floor, showing her pants to the whole world of CH.

Magical Beth fairy: Crap.

Stomach: Rumble.

Magical Beth fairy: Shut up, you.

Evil Hannah Demon: Mwahahaha! Look at you, Magical Beth Fairy! You are showing the world your pants and you have made a fool out of yourself! Not even El Nombré could help you!

Magical Beth Fairy (knowingly): Ah, but Evil Hannah Demon, I have won the war. Although I have made a complete idiot out of myself, this will go down in history as the day I, the perfect Magical Beth Fairy, defied you! I am the hero of the world, I tell you, the hero!

Narrator: And it was so. No one ever forgot the Magical Beth Fairy's fall, and it was established as a wonderful legend throughout the land of CH. It just goes to show what you can do if you listen to Maria, Little Juan, El Nombré and, most importantly of all, stomach.

Beth: Yup. It's true - minus El Nombré etc of course *cough cough*. Probs the most embarrassing moment of my life - but i can laugh at myself *laughs and points at self* mwahaha!

The invisible CD player brings out the violins and the credits go in slow motion. Just like after Madge died in Neighbours
...