On the twenty third of September, the year of our Lord, two thousand and seventeen, MotherofBulls and SaintDionysus thought it would be a good idea to get drunk and write as many tropes possible into a single fic. Lord help us. I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH. WE WERE DRUNK WHILE WRITING THIS. Total crack fic!

Concerned about his wife-to-be's mental health, Draco employs Blaise Zabini's assistance in helping Hermione choose the perfect wedding dress. With Albus Potter tagging alone for whatever reason, it's sure to be a boisterous, champagne-soaked experience with absolutely zero productivity. MISSING SCENES from AN INDEFINITE AMOUNT OF FOREVER and threequel to HOT FOR TEACHER!

The Weasleys find Harry and Ginny in bed together. Is this really what it looks like?

While at Grimmauld Place, Hermione Granger overhears a secret that rocks her entire world and changes her life forever. Her actions to try and save her life sends her down a path that will ultimately lead both her and her best friend, Harry Potter, to step into darkness. First part in the Darkness trilogy. Eventual Dark Hermione! and eventual Dark Harry!

a story about poor draco malfoy and his two true loves: harry potter, and his beloved green apple. and apparently how they formed a threesome with ron weasley? oh, and fyi: theo and blaise are the most coldhearted couple. ever. /crack!fic written for caesar's palace.

What would you to alleviate your boredom? Harry and Draco are willing to form a pretend romantic relationship to cause utter chaos throughout the castle. McGonagall can only count down the days until graduation. And of course, this wouldn't be a real fake relationship story if the two didn't fall in love along the way.

Sequel to "Hot for Teacher"! Draco and Hermione embark on the next adventure of their lives together. They swiftly find that falling in love might be simple, but relationships are tricky. Through their friendships, insecurities, and love for each other, they learn what it means to be someone's Forever.

Lance falls victim to a dark spirit that wants to steal his soul. The Paladins must go into Lance's soul to save him, uncovering truths about them all in the process. Time is of the essence before Lance is lost forever. Good thing they have such helpful soul guides. / "I think he's saying "hola,'" Hunk grinned. "You know, "hi" in Spanish. Hola, baby Lance," he greeted. "¡Ohwah!"

aka how the Gryffindor princess loses her patience He bugged her head to teach him how to drive her car. She thought giving a driving lesson would be a piece of cake. Is he a good driver or does he drive her nuts? written for Strictly Dramione Prank Fest April 2018

Hermione loses a bet to Draco and now has to let him take her on "the worst date in the history of the world." His words. Hermione is in for a night full of crappy pub food, a rented children's choir, and casual violence. But at some point in this rubbish heap of an evening, Hermione finds that there's more to Draco than she thought.

The rats of London are food for fleas spreading a new magical malady. When Hermione Granger gets bitten, Harry Potter has to ask Draco for help. A somewhat unfortunate take on the soulmate trope ONE SHOT.

He's to do what's expected of him. She's agreed to introduce him to eligible witches during the Ministry's five year celebration of the end of the war: A History of Magic. However, the course of true love never did run smooth. Fate has thrown a wrench in his mother's plans. Or did it?

Three-year-old Harry asks little Draco to marry him and they insist to anyone who will listen that they are indeed already married. SLASH pairing.

Draco is a single dad trying to raise a teenager. Little does he know that his son has a crush on his own childhood nemisis who has taken up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. Draco tries to juggle parenthood, awkward situations, and his own budding interest in Hermione Granger. WINNER Best Comedy, Summer 2017 Enchanted Awards.

Draco and Hermione have their own Valentine traditions. This year is no different. Or is it? Valentine drabble inspired by dhrfavorites prompt 'Valentine's traditions'. One-shot. This isn't pink clouds and fluff and happiness.

Harry and Draco come out to the whole school that they are together and one person doesn't react how they expected…

Harry receives a letter from a seven-year-old boy begging him for help fighting the monsters under his bed. The problem? The letter is fifteen years old, and the sender is none other than Draco Malfoy. DH slash, EWE. Complete.

Hermione wakes up in the wrong bed, with the wrong face, and with a husband that hates her.

An unusual response by Harry Potter to Draco Malfoy leaves Dumbledore amused, Minerva confused, and Severus bemused. "You're just jealous that Professor Snape likes me best!"

At the request of Dumbledore, Hermione Granger marries Draco Malfoy. COMPLETED

Wary of Harry and Draco's relationship, the Gryffindors want to test Draco. Little do they know...

A Potion's "accident" turns Harry into an eight year old, and Draco Malfoy intends to kidnap him. But Harry's a passive-aggressive, revenge-obsessed little bastard. Maybe Draco will wait on that whole Dark Lord thing. POVDraco, pretty AU.

Humorous letters to fanfiction writers focusing on what the characters would say in response to the clichés stories some fanfiction writers write. Canon universe and pairings, mostly. Drabble Fic. Suggestions are most welcome. R&R please!

Unable to resolve their differences in England, Minister Shacklebolt sends Aurors Potter and Malfoy to a beautiful Finnish resort in order to work out their issues. Or else.

What if Draco and Hermione, for a Muggle Studies assignment, read a fanfic? And what, just what, would happen if that fanfic was a Dramione? Rated T because I rate them all T. FINALLY FINISHED!

Bored Aurors find a way to amuse themselves. Written because I needed some pointless fluff and kissing in the rain. NO WARNINGS OMG!

A one-shot about Hermione Granger. "Just let me go. Please. They're waiting for me." She whispered. "Be free." He whispered. Warning: Suicide HGxDM

Why did Harry Potter nod in greeting to Draco Malfoy when he saw the man on the platform 19 years later? Ron and Hermione were clearly not on such terms with the man. What secret did the two men share from even their own families?

Now that Voldemort is dead, Harry and company are enjoying their last year of school by taking part in a timehonored Hogwarts tradition: the seventh year prank war. Edited and reposted. First brand new chapter now updated!

Harry awakens after a long sleep to find things terribly changed. He's not in an alternate universe... it just seems like it.

Harry and Draco find ways to keep the hate alive. Albus Severus and Scorpius approve. NextGen oneshot crackfic ahoy!

Draco Malfoy turns himself in after a very successful career as a Death Eater, then enlists Harry and Hermione to help him in a scheme to bring down the Dark Lord. DHr. A story of forgiveness.

Draco's new rule for his and Harry's Relationship. Oneshot Crazy bit of Fluff.

COMPLETE! Hermione is completely fed up with Malfoy and decides to make a list of ways to get rid of him. But what happens when most of her plans backfire and instead, ends up getting her very close to Draco each time? HGDM

Complete DHr & HG Sixth years at Hogwarts are now required to take a parenting class, what fun! Hermione, Draco, and Harry are paired up in which they'll trade off being children. Can they live through the class or will being a parent prove too hard?

Hermione knows that there only a few promises Draco can keep.

You humiliated me. I admit you played me very well. However, don't expect this to be the end. After a series of twists and turns, what will be the end of it all? FINISHED. NOTE: This story features Draco/Hermione, Ron/Pansy, and Girl!Blaise/Harry.

Our boys pass detention with this little game. It has some interesting results. Who wins or do they both? COMPLETE SLASH malemale relationship

Harry Potter was just an average kid. HD Complete

Short oneshot. Dialogue-only. Harry and Draco go baby shopping. Draco decides their baby needs a… bigger, more expensive toy. HxD. Mpreg

I know the title says read me, but, really, don't. It's not worth your time. I was possessed when i wrote this, and trust me, its not worth it. Why are you even reading the summary? Well, now you might as well read the rest...

To escape his father's wrath, Draco disguises himself...as a girl. This story is a STAND ALONE. I promise you won't regret it.