What do you do when your biological clock is ticking? Uh? You hit up your best friend's brother for 'donations'. Crazy little drabble fic with all the usual suspects. Edward/Bella-A/H-Humor-Lemons. All the fun stuff!

*TAKEN DOWN. MANY APOLOGIES.* Dear Diary, When he left, I became numb. Safe in a bubble of denial and bitterness. Now, he's back, and I've agreed to be his co-star in a new Broadway play. Obviously, if there were a Nation of Stupid People, I would be their Queen. A/H

As the President of the United States, Edward Cullen finds it difficult to meet women. So his brother secretly employs the services of an escort agency to help fulfill certain presidential needs. OOC AU

AH/AU ExB Lemon. Mid-Semester, Senior Year. Bella is escaping Arizona and starting over in Washington. An unexpected hook-up at a party in Port Angeles turns into obsession. What happens when desire becomes too much to control? Rated S for Snarling.

Bella's ready to bust out of her shell in college with roomie Alice. She meets the dazzling but rakish Edward, but is warned of his less than angelic ways. Will B/A be just another notch in the belt for J/E, or will they teach the boys a lesson or two?