Hello Minna-San, and welcome to my account!

Here are some of my favorite sayings:

I don't suffer from insanity , I enjoy every minute of it "

" Roses are red ,

Violets are blue ,

I thought I was ugly,

until I saw you "

l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Whoever said, "Everything's possible!" they never tried slamming a revolving door!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

"Stop lying! God can hear you! NO! I SAID STOP LYING!"

Female Comebacks (funny!)

Man: Have I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes that’s why I don't go there anymore

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mines.

Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?

Woman: Do not enter

Man I would go to the end of the world for you

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy

Woman: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing

Man: So what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to I

Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

When life give you lemons, shut up and eat your damn lemons

I was going to kill the ugliest person alive but then I thought I'd let your mom live one more day

Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.

There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get what’s coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.

They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" I don't think you'd kill many people

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

If you had a life you would stop talking about mine

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over.

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

Want to know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

God must love stupid people...he made so many

When life gives you lemons make grape juice, lay back, and let the world wonder how you did it.

Stop talking before you say something dumb. Oh no too late.

You go girl. And don't come back.

Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass!

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.

Roses are red

Violets are Blue

You're better off dead

Than to have me know you

Love me , Hate me but don't date me

go find true love and leave me alone

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

Those god-forsaken kids should just give that retarded rabbit some Trix .

Why do they a say a minigun is a Minigun if it is larger than the standard gun?

'Bitch, don’t mess with me cause I’m the biggest bitch you’ll ever see'

'Its an idiot and a bigger idiot and ME! oh wait I counted me twice

'I love you is eight letters...So is Bullshit'

'If you are a dog and your owner suggests you wear a sweater , suggest that he wears a tail

'Your so cute when your gay

'Those collectable dolls are just like you. They look at me with those ugly eyes too'

'Don’t hate me because I’m pretty, hate me because your boyfriend thinks so'

'We are so Hot we make Fire Stop, drop and roll'

'When you make fun of people, you make YOURSELF look bad'

'Men are kings, kings are rulers, Rulers are 30 cm tall. Feel tough now?'

Call me a bitch and I will show you one...

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone.

Bad girl, spit that out. You don

t know where it's been.

Don’t make people feel like shit just because you look like it.

Everyone is a moon, and has a side that he or she never shows to anyone else."

"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon."

They say curiosity killed the cat, but it was me.

A picture says a thousand words, but leaves a thousand more questions.

'I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore- I am perfect'

'Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That's what little girl's are made of; the hell with sugar and spice.'

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you kill me I’ll just come back and haunt you and if you get me exorcized I’ll see you in hell to torture you

In Order to get the handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

When the blind lead the blind, get out of the way.

I'm not littering... I'm donating to the earth.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium - my work here is done.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a fool.

"I thought of killing the sexiest person on earth, but then I realized, suicide isn't the way to go."

"Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an art."

call me weird, call me strange. Call me different. I won't change."

" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"

You

re Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Speak To Me

Your village called, their idiot is missing.

"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words."

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?"

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police"

"If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk."

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

He who laughs last didn't get it.
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Hi! I

You know why people think you

re bright before you talk? Because light travels faster than sound