Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

Fandoms: Homestuck, Legend of Zelda, Adventure Time, Pokemon, Fairy Tail, Yu-Gi-Oh, Tokyo Mew Mew, Night Vale, Hetalia, Kuroshitsuji, Warriors, livvykitty fics

Likes: Kittens, Anime, Video Games, Books, Night Vale Podcasts

Dislikes: Running out of books, anime, or Homestuck updates; The Gigapause

Favorite Authors: livvykitty, Mitspeiler, xXEmistuckXx

OTP: EmiJohn

Patron: Terezi

Zodiac: What is UP with the new zodiac? Oh well, it means I get to be Vriska.

I absolutely love The Sufferer. The thing that comes to my mind is how his religion applies to us as well. Rich or poor, strong or weak, the highest ruler to lowliest citizen, we are all the same. Nothing separates us, all were created equal and when it's all over that will be proven. In the end how much money you had, or how powerful you were doesn't matter. All that matters is what kind of a person you were.

That's why I effing love The Sufferer. He's a character that makes me think.

Also, thanks to livvykitty:

FRIENDS:Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried... just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: lunch buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart... but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Now, Emistuck (heheheheheh):

INSIDE JOKE TO-DO LIST!

1. Walk up to a random person and tell them to give your 'goddamn weed whacker' back!

2. When you see a kid in blue pj's yell at them 'DO THE WINDY THING!!'.

3. Randomly say 've' in-between most of your words.

5. Start drinking Faygo.

6. Thart talking with a lithp. Ith a lot funnier that way.

8. Pretend you have vision 8fold.

10. Push people down a flight of friendship stairs, then tell them you warned them about the stairs, bro.

11. Whenever skydiving (or jumping off a really high diving board or whatever) yell, "VODKAAAAAAAAAA!!!" on the way down.

12. End sentences with 'aru'.

13. On PJ day at your school (if it has one), wear blue PJs and run around yelling, "I'M DOING THE WINDY THING!!" while pretending to fly.

14. Buy a huge green portal so you can push a kid named Danny into it. (Ooh, danny phantom. Haven't seen that if forevs.)

15. YELL AT EVERYONE. LOUDLY AND OBNOXIOUSLY.

16. Say nothing but 've' while making lots of hand motions while talking to someone. Claim you're speaking Italian.

17. Wear 3D glasses ALL THE TIME.

18. Start saying, "WHAT NOW?" and cackling.

19. Find some French bread and whack people on the head with it while yelling, "BECOME FRENCH!" (This one is a joke between Pachimew and Pia. Don't ask.)

20. Whenever you say "I love you," to someone the same gender as you, immediately add "No homo" afterwards.

21. Start calling people by troll names; i.e., if you have a friend who's a Scorpio, call her Spiderbitch.

23. Make shipping charts. (I HAVE.)

24. Develop a weird laugh.

25. Drink/become paranoid about apple juice.

26. Try to become a ninja.

27. Start wearing shades EVERYWHERE.

30. Come to school wearing all black with a zodiac sign on the shirt. At first available opportunity, head to the bathroom, put on horns, and apply gray face paint. Cosplay for rest of day. (Somebody did this but she got in trouble and had to take it off. Her terezi was really good too...)

31. When your school has a dance, come to it in cosplay. Kick door open and yell, "WE'RE COMING IN MOTHERF*CKING COSPLAY, BITCHES!" (Must do this too.)

32. Have three cans of beans labeled 'Jumping beans', 'dancing beans', and 'kill your roommate beans'. Eat the jumping beans, then jump around the room. Eat the dancing beans, then dance around the room. Eat the kill your roommate beans as you smile creepily at your roommate.

37: Keep popcorn with you 24/7. Whenever your friends freak out or fight, calmly sit down and eat the popcorn, offering some to the bystanders nearby.

39: Start talking and thinking in the same fashion you roleplay in, it will make your school classes a LOT more fun.

40: Learn how to dance, then randomly spazz out dancing in public. When people ask what you're doing, tell them "I would tell you, but your unawesome brains would spontaneously implode from the awesomeness that is me!"

41: In early spring, or late fall, run out with your friends to a nearby lake and try to re-enact some of the scenes from Rise of The Guardians.

413: Whenever somebody acts extremely cold-hearted, say to them "Welcome to Hussietown, population: 413.". (The number was a reference in itself.)

44: Double numbers ARE magical.

45: Try to turn every number from 0 to 9 into some simple drawing, and then do the same with all the letters of the alphabet. Start using the drawings as a code for a secret language.

47: Play the Homestuck adventure game.

49: Convince everybody around you that you're a creepy stalker and stalk them, then a couple months later, wonder why everyone is scared of you.

51: Make young kids believe that the world will end in 2014, and the only way to survive is to play the Homestuck Adventure Game.

53: Say 'Gog' instead of God, 'Jegus' instead of Jesus, and add 'Troll' before a famous person's name, i.e., Troll Will Smith

54: Fake suicide attempts and say you were trying to go God Tier.

55: Whenever you get in trouble for something, say Vriska made you do it.

56: Go to a movie theater with gray, black, yellow, orange, (and maybe red) markers/paint. Draw on the posters so everyone looks like a troll. (MUST.)

57: Obsessively give every book, movie, cartoon, and comic a ridiculously long name.

58: RP as your Zodiac/Patron troll 24/7. NEVER BREAK CHARACTER. EVER. (H3H3. 1 4M.)

59: When someone asks about an object, say, "What (object)? I'm quite certain there has never been, and never will be, a/an (object) in this room!"

60: If anyone asks how you slept, tell them EVERY LAST DETAIL of whatever adventure you had on Prospit/Derse.

61: Dye your hair white and wear red contacts, and possibly get yourself some shades. Say that you're awesome/the coolkid.

612: If someone is being a huge troll, tell them "Welcome to Alternia, population: 612."

63: Ship your friends. (I already do)

64: When someone hands you a Betty Crocker product, immediately flip out, toss it in the air, and run away shrieking incoherently about the Batterwitch.

65. Run up to someone, throw a bucket at their head and yell "Now we're married!"

67. Jump onto your friends back and yell 'To Narnia!"

68. go in an elevator and hum softly. When someone asks you to stop, gasp "you can see me?" and run out on the next floor. this will creep them out so bad.

69. Laugh at the number I just typed.

70: If you're a homestuck, wonder why everyone is laughing at the sufferer's symbol.

71: Do the harlem shake in the middle of a public place and convince people that you are part of a flash mob that never showed up.

1. Have you ever read a (12)/(3) fic? Whats up with the numbers?

2. Do you think (11) is hot? It's a number... it can't be hot

3. What would happen if (12) got (8) pregnant? Uhhh...they would have number babies?

4. Can you recall any fics about (8)? No. Is eight like Vriska?

5. Would (6) and (8) make a good couple? I don't know! Maybe 7 and 8 are friends so 6 would be scared! Why is 6 afraid of 7..cause 7 8 9 kinda thing.

6. (9)/(8) or (12)/(5)? What? I'm bad enough in Algebra.

7. Is there any such thing as (9)/(1) fluff? I don't know! Why is everything numbers? Is this a fandom?

8. When was the last time you read a fic about (1) Never! Numbers don't get fan fics!

9. (6) and (7) are in a happy relationship How would you feel? What? I thought 6 was afraid of 7! What kind of twisted kismesis is this?

10. How would you feel if (4)/(9) were in a fight? I DON'T KNOW!

11. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours? GGAAHH! Why on Earth would I be related to a freakin number?

12. How would you react if you saw (8) and (10) in a closet together with a rubber ducky? I'd be pretty scared...what are inanimate objects doing with a duck?

13. How would you feel if (10) dissed you in the worst possible way ever? Numbers can't talk. Numbers cannot talk.

14. If you saw (3) and (5) in bed together, what would you do? no. i'm just no. I- I can't anymore. This doesn't make any sense! WHY ARE ALL THE NUMBERS HAVING BABIES?

Alright, my turn. (Questions above)

1. Cas

2. Me!

3. John

4. Tom Baker (heh)

5. Dave

6. Karkat

7. Nepeta

8. Vriska

9. God Tier Me!

10. David Tennant

11. Gamzee

12. Terezi

1. Nah. Wouldn't work.

2. No. HE CREEPS ME THE F* OUT!

3. Uh... Scourge Sisters, so... Incest? Incest baby?

4. Duh.

5. No. The'd bitch at each other all day. That fic would suck.

6. DAVEZI. PLEASE.

7. Heh... I'll make it...

8. A few weeks ago (and by weeks I mean minutes).

9. :33 Yeah! That'd work!

10. I would feel very sad because I have a fangirl crush on 4...

11. HELL. F*ING. YES.

12. I would join them! Patron and fangirl crush! WOOT! (and a rubber ducky! :D)

13. I would freaking CRY.

14. Hehehehehehehe... I'd film it for blackmail... later...

1. Karkat

2. Aradia

3. Equius

4. Sollux

5. Eridan

6. Feferi

7. Terezi

8. Vriska

9. Nepeta

10. Me! (because screw logic)

1) Eight walks into Ten's room while he/she is changing. What would happen?

Screw you, Serket. I did not bargain for this.

2) Three and Four are fighting, but then Six comes in and brings Three and Four together as a couple.

OH GOD.

Someone has probably made that fic already.

3) Five and Nine are talking when Seven runs in between yelling "I love (One)!"

Well, here’s how it’d go:

Eridan: Hey, uh, Nep, er… wwould you…

Nepeta: SHUT UP, AMPURRA!

Eridan: B-but Nep…

Terezi: I LOV3 K4RK4T!

Terezi: *flies away on Pyralspite*

Nepeta: (whispurrs) I knew it…

Eridan: Awwwwww…

4) Ten and Two are in the middle of a battle when seven comes flying through screaming, "Super (Seven's name)"

Aradia and I are talking about time paradoxes while Terezi pretends to be a superhero?

Sounds like the norm to me.

5) Ten kills Four, Four's last words?

F* Scorpios…

6) One, two, three, four, and five are fighting when Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, and Ten comes to watch. What happens?

Karkat is dumbfounded. Why are there so many… buckets?

Aradia and Equius are arguing, as usual.

Sollux and Eridan are STILL fighting, as usual, while Feferi is trying to break them up.

Terezi is watching Karkat. SHE’S the one behind it all!

Vriska is laughing at their pain.

Nepeta is trying to help “purr Karkitty”

Me? I’m waiting there, letting my fanfiction take form.

7) What would you do if Number 1 woke you up in the middle of the night?

Scream, probably, then get him back to his proper timeline.

8) Will numbers 5 and 6 ever kiss?

They probably won’t.

Unless Huss has something… planned.

9) Would 2 trust 5?

HAHA no.

Homestuck Truth or Dare: UPDATES WHENEVER!

UPDATE: I NEED MORE DARES! ;n;

Karkat's Manga Adventure: Hiatus because I need to finish Homestuck (aka "Hiatus until the Gigapause is over)

Hussie: Cause Apocalypse: BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! Wait for the Gigapause, my friend...

Quotes that apply to me in some way or manner:

Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.

I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Some people need a high five... in the face... with a chair.

It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up.

I don't obsess! I think intensely!

"Sir, we're surrounded!" "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

You know when you say "No offense', you're actually saying, 'I'm going to dis you now...I hope you don't mind.", right?

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.

Everyone is entitled to being stupid, but you just abuse the privilege.

We have a communication problem and I don't wanna talk about it.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

There's nothing wrong with arguing yourself. It's arguing with yourself and losing that's weird!

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary, from time to time, to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

I didn't fall for him, my best friend pushed me.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could, too, if you hit a bit harder.

If someone insults you, say 'How sweet, thanks for noticing' and walk away.

Don't believe me, eh? Well, the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

When life gives you lemons, make some AJ and leave them to wonder how the hell you did it.

Some Night Vale:

A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? A BASILISK.

And... CUE THE MANDATORY KANAYA!

The Surest Sign Of Intelligent Life Out There Is That None Of Them Has Ever Tried To Contact Us.

All right, time for some fun...

7 Ways to scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you're hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:

1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."

7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

9. "Damn, there go the lights again..."

10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"

12. "Ooooops!"

The human race is very stupid if they actually put these things on actual consumer labels:

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...?)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(And I am taking this...because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)

On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

Quick scripts for you guys:

Nepeta: Do I ever cross your mind?

Karkat: No

N: Do you like me?

K: No

N: Do you want me?

K: No

N: Would you cry if I left?

K: No

N: Would you live for me?

K: No

N: Would you do anything for me?

K: No

N: Choose-me or your life

K: My life

Nepeta runs away in shock and pain. Karkat runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Now, tell me that you anticipated that.

Girl: You are amazing.
Boy: Now, why's that?
Girl: Because you're the only thing that keeps me sane.
Boy: Really? Because you're the only thing that drives me crazy.

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rymes. Crazy is when you have a post-book comatose state after reading a book and then half an hour later are spouting off random quotes, character facts and character descriptions to people you know don't give a (inert swear word of choice).

If this is true I am crazy about tenfold.

Kids Are Smart

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No ma'am, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, ma'am. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

The world according to Rick Riordan:

Even cat goddesses like growling at birds. Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones. The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese. Children of rival gods can fall in love. No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels. Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream. Eating fruit bats is bad for your health. Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated. The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy. Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess. Jackal headed gods can be very attractive. Math teachers really are evil. Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...) It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena. Elvis was a magician. No, really. Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed. Boomerangs can cast spells. It's possible to gamble moonlight. Even the ferryman of the dead wants a pay raise. Rainbows have power. Fruit bats can be deadly. If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an uber-powerful god living inside you. Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.

Gryffindors...will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins...will push someone else off.

Hufflepuffs...will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws...will get hold of a flying carpet.

Sorry for the junk! Now, here's the real stuff: