IMPORTANT NOTICE* Hey, everyone. I'm trying to write a story (not based off any books), but I don't have any ideas. If you have any, please send me an email at imhungry.paramore@gmail.com. Thanks, and please tell me your penname or real name so I can credit you with the idea.

Gender: Female

Real Name: Yeah, right

Status: Awesome as ever

Location: hiding in the cereal box (it smells like froot loops in here)

Age: Why the crap would you want to know, you stalker?! (it's 94million. yeah, i'm awesome like that)

Hair color: Dark brown, sometimes black with natural brown streaks

Eye color: Brown, sometimes hazel, a little green around the edges

Skin color: Tannish, kinda pale

Wing color: Black with blue streaks

Powers: Invisibility, teleportation, mind-reading, breathing underwater, and breathing fire and ice. (All of these powers come from my ninja-liness)

fav band: Paramore (that's kind why my thing is paramorerox24, duh)

fav book: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

fav movie: Inception

fav tv show: Mythbusters, Glee, and Tosh.0

fav animal: wolves, squirrels, phoenixes, hippogriffs, dragons, and chuirrels (chinchilla squirrels). (I have all of the above)

fav color: blue and black (the colors of the bruises on my shins)

fav food: steak (any other red meat also works)

fav song: playing god; for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimstic; emergency; blow; the harold song

least fav band: does Hannah Montana count?

least fav book: the year i turned sixteen (i got through ten pages before i got bored and chucked it at my brother)

least fav movie: sharkboy and lavagirl (i'd say twilight but it was funny)

least fav tv show: Hannah Montana, duh

least fav animal: do bugs count as animals?

least fav color: pink (Which is funny cuz i like P!nk the singer)

least fav food: brussel sprouts (vegetable, surprise, surprise)

least fav song: too many to count

My imaginary friend: Bob

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed

What High School Musical has Taught Us

1. If you wish to show your inability or dislike for dancing, it's perfectly reasonable to break out in a dance number.

2. College? It's not important, as long as you can hang out with your friends.

3. If your love is strong enough, fireworks will go off, and lanterns will fly away as you and your boyfriend kiss.

4. Playing sports is a hint that it's time to break into song.

5. Don't worry about being rude/mean because in the end things will work out for you.

6. School spirit is a must. Especially during the summer.

7. Your friends are not human and should always be addressed by the name of their school mascot.

8. Yes! You can paint your locker pink! Screw the school board.

9. You can be a chef, lifeguard, or golf assistant...no experience needed!

10. A guy can never wear too much bronzer.

11. Lakes are the equilivant of mirrors. They can show your reflection perfectly!

12. It is possible to memorize a 3 minute song over the course of 30 seconds...and sing it perfectly!

13. It doesn't matter that you're not a staff member... You can still attend any and all staff events.

14. The phrase 'more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match' is something that can be used in everyday conversation

15. There are two bells that get you out of school. The first one tells you to start singing and dancing, the second announces you should stop.

16. Even though its the last day of school, its okay to leave stuff in the locker for the summer.

17. If your family is 'saving pennies' for your college education and gives you a junky truck to drive because they 'can't afford anything else', it is normal for their kitchen to have expensive granite counter tops and a $7,000 fridge.

18. Pianos can float now. Go ahead, try it.

19. It's perfectly acceptable for a guy to wear girl's capris.

20. If you're upset, just run through a golf course, jumping and spinning, while singing 'Bet on it'...you won't fall at any point, and no one will stop and think 'what the flip?'.

21. You can send telepathic messages to your mom to tell her to pick you up just as you're finishing your breakup song with your boyfriend.

22. A resort can be highly successful when there are way more employees than guests.

23. 'And she stepped on the ball' is actually quite funny. You just need to put it into context.

24. One family can apparently control an entire city, including all educational institutions in the area.

25. It's good manners to refer to your mother as a 'backstabber'

26. Turkey imported from Maine is much better than any other turkey. In fact, it's fabulous...

27. Apparently, it is now possible to hire an entire high school to be the staff at an upscale country club.

28. Iced tea from England is blue

29. Water Bug is a really cute, funny, and romantic pet name. -gags- Gah, my god, Rowsely...

30. Being a teenage paparazzi at school and taking multiple pictures of the same two people is not weird or creepy in any way

31 .When your girlfriend tells you that your shoes don't match your tie, you must do a stupid looking surfer move to see if she's right, you can't just look down.

32. Take two small saucepan lids and bang them together. You'll find they make the exact same sound as a large GONG. Go on, have a go.

33. It IS possible to have any object in the world come in pink & engraved with your initials.

34. If you are the basketball star of your school, you can get yourself, as well as the rest of the school, summer jobs.

35. Lava Springs apparently had no employees, since they had to hire a whole new staff.

36. Don't change your friends, change your dreams.

37. 'What team?' 'Wildcats!''GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!' can fix any problem.

38. Basketball scholarships at the University of Albuquerque depend completely on your musical performance skills

39. Guitars and speaker equipment can be placed near a pool safely.

40.When you frolic with your girlfriend in the golf course, you get in trouble. When you frolic by yourself and sing, nothing happens, of course.

41. Of course you can wear makeup when you go to sleep and not wake up looking like a mutated beast.

Girl Comebacks!!!!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Today, all your dreams come true

Woman: So you'll finally commit suicide?

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS THAT SCARE ME:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On a PowerPuffGirls costume: Wearing of costume will not enable you to save the world (Challenge accepted)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

XXXXXXXXXXXX

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

16 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,"'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

16. When you are at the cash paying, ask: "Can I have fries with that?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

This is so funny! Language though.

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no freaking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

I'm that girl who cries without anyone seeing it.

I'm that girl who hurts herself without anyone knowing it.

I'm that girl who is smiles but is hurting inside.

I'm that girl who guides but doesn't know what's right.

I'm that girl who shines but doesn't glow in the dark.

I'm that girl who's kind but never feels the mark.

I'm that girl who'd fight for someone else's rights.

But I'm also that girl who can't sleep at night.

Outside I'm pretty, I'm glowing, I'm strong.

But inside, I'm hurting, knowing I don't belong.

I think of that weight that just hangs above me,

Dropping onto my shoulders ever so slowly.

I don't fight it, I don't struggle,

I just hold it up.

The force on my shoulders,

I'm begging it to stop.

But I just hold it together,

And keep the smile on my face.

Just hoping that one day,

Someone can take my place.

Help me take that burden off her shoulders,
Look past the barriers and help me get hold of her.
Take my hand and it'll weigh no more,
For us girls together, can be stronger than before.

9 out of 10 teenage girls suffer from peer pressure, verbal and/or physical abuse, and stereotyping. If you believe in the power of women and girls like us, and if you believe we can overcome this issue together hand in hand, post this onto your profile and add your name to the list: ColorTheSky, CrazyNerdyFangirl, Paramorerox24

I think most populars hate me.

I think a lot of people hate me.

Woot!

The Real RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT 'SONG TITLE' DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Have fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
21 Guns by Green Day (Hmmm. They're probably going to either run or watch me to make sure I don't commit suicide.)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Billionare by Travie McCoy (YES!!!!!!!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
That's What You Get by Paramore(um, I guess someone who doesn't break my heart)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Misery Business by Paramore (yeah. I like making people feel miserable, so OK!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Airplanes(um, idk…to wish on an airplane that looks like a shooting star?)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan(Sure, my motto is that no one understands me. Ok.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Gives You Hell by All American Rejects(if my friends think I give them hell now, they haven't seen anything yet.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore(well I am always living in a fairytale. But just to be clear there are no unicorns or rainbows in my fantasies. Usually fire.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day (Sure, I love being alone)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Wake Me Up When September Ends.(right, this problem is so boring I fell asleep)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Nothin' on You by B.O.B (not too weird, I guess)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Ignorance by Paramore (My life is a circle, a mean cycle)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Break Your Little Heart by All Time Low(sure…sounds like fun)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Only Exception(YES!)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Viva La Vida by Coldplay(Sure, why not?)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Time of Your Life by Green Day(um…yeah,I seriously hope I had the time of my life)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Remember the Name by Fort Minor(Yeah, I want everyone to remember my name)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Don't Stop Believing by Journey(okay, I'll keep believing)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Decode by Paramore(um…you'll have to decode it first)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha (yes,I want my crush's love)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
American Idiot by Green Day(ha! I knew it!)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Clocks by Coldplay(What?)

---

F

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!

Fav quotes

"Normal people scare me." -My friend Alex and me to someone who is more normal than we are.

"Vampire zombies are so dang cuddly and loveable." -Me to my friend.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."- Albert Einstein.

"I DON'T NEED THERAPY!"- me to my friends.

"Harry Potter is my best friend. He's the bestest!" -Me at the lunch table.

"I LOVE EMO HAIR. AND I DON'T FREAKING KNOW WHY!"- Me every time someone mentions Fang.

"I vill now destroy duh Snickuhs bahrs."- Gazzy in STWAOES

"ZOMG." -Nudge in MAX. Has anyone else wondered what the Z stood for? because I have.

"Goodbye, my love."- Fang in his letter to Max. That line cracks me up because it just screams EDWARD CULLEN. Next thing you know, Fang's going to start wearing body glitter. :P

"Fine. Somebody else can arrange to get the stupid goat knocked up." -Katniss in Catching Fire

"Hey, Finnick, come on in! We figured out how to make you pretty again!" -Katniss in Catching Fire

"Cows are yummerful little fuzzlumps" -me

"Chemicals are yummy"-me

"Rawr!"-me

"We may be dumb, but we're not stupid!"-me and my friend, Alex

"The chairs are not here to keep you comfortable, but to catch you when you guys are dancing around like idiots." -Hayley Williams (My favorite quote of all time. She said it at a concert that me and Puppybluie went to. HA!)

"You lost me at hello."

Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile, and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

When someone annoys you it take 47 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 4 to extend your arm and punch them!

Yeah, I'm unique, just like everyone else.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back, and demand apples!

I'm not crazy; you're just more sane than me.

I'm not crazy, your reality is just different than mine.

I take your reality and replace it with mine!

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

I did what they said and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated.

Stressed is Desserts backwards. : )

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

To attract men, wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

Show me someone who says they're perfect, and I'll show you a liar.

She's my best friend. Break her heart, and I'll break your face.

(Say to a boy) Yes I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a lot harder.

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

"The only thing to fear is FEAR ITSELF...and spiders."

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me in kick boxing.

At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well... basically... your house burned even faster.

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that." And made woman.

You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

We all smile in the same language.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I didn't slap you! I simply high-fived your face.

My door is always open, so feel free to leave.

Second place is the first loser.

There's a light at the end of every tunnel... let's just hope it's not a train.

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I'm in shape... Round is a shape.

I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.

Where's the good in goodbye?

I am a nobody, nobody's perfect, therefore, I'm perfect!

I'm on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

Our health teachers told us that, "1 out of 3 people who start smoke will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.

My mom keeps complaining that I never listen to her... or something like that.

Ifyoucanreadthisthenyouarewaytoosmartforyourowngood

If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light.

Intelligence has its limits; stupidity doesn't.

A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand.

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.

I'm not random you just can't think as fast as me. TACO CAKE! See? You were still processing taco when I said cake.

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you're up to.

"When Life gives you lemons... KEEP THEM!! Hey, Come on, they're free lemons! :D."

"Not me, not my problem."

"I remember when vampires were scary"

"If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?"

"I'm the kind of girl who yells at the movies when they don't follow the book 99.9 percent"

"Drink Coffee: Do stupid things faster and with more energy"

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, and tomorrow does not look good either.'

Cute but evil. Things even out.'

"If you hit me at 30mph, there's an 80% chance I'll live. Hit me at 40mph, and there's an 80% chance I'll die...Please stop trying to hit me."

I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day!

'Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What the heck am I doing,
Talking to you?"

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

God made me pretty,

What happened to you?

"Trying not to cough when you're in a room full of silent people

-SNEEZE- "Bless you." -SNEEZE- "Bless you." -SNEEZE- "DUDE?!"

I forgot your name, so I'm waiting for somebody to say it...

I get a text, get distracted, and forget to reply for hours...

Me:"Come here." Friend:"Why?" Me:"Just come here." Friend:"No, your gonna hit me."

-Phone falls behind bed- "Ah, I'll get it later..." -recieves text- "DANGIT!"

"No they can't come over, this house is a mess!" "Mom, they don't care..."

Why do they give us homework knowing there's distractions at home?

"Must be 3-7 sentences" Yeah, I'm only writing 3...

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and its gone.

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', whats the opposite of 'progress'?

Parents spend the first half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Who ever said 'nothing is impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door.

Procrastinate NOW!

The voices in my head tell me I need therapy.

The newscaster is the person who says “Good evening” and then tells you why its not.

I used to have super powers, but my therapist took them away.

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Your multiple personalities are freaking out my imaginary friend!

I wish my lawn was emo... then it could cut itself.

Strangers have the best candy.

You stare because I’m different... I stare because you're all the same.

Free hugs.

It takes 48 muslces to frown but only 14 to flip some one off.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

I believe that dragons unicorns and sporks do exist.

Behold the mighty...chihuahua?

When you look at the sky do you see a cloud or a dinosaur in a tutu?

I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

Snot is brain juice leaking out of your nose.

If you're really my friend, I'll probably make jabs at you. It's all in good fun. But don't confuse jabs with insults. Insults involve actual dislike.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

"All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies." (TOO FREAKING TRUE!)

"He who laughs last thinks slowest and he who laughs first doesn't get it."

If at first you do succeed, try not to look to astonished.

There are these two kids at a catholic school, and the boy is poking a girl with a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who created the universe?", and the girl screams at the boy, "GOD!" Then the teacher asks, "Who is the son of God?" The girl screams, "JESUS CHRIST!" "Very good!" the teacher says. "Now, what did the woman say to the man after the third time they did it?" and the girl screams at the boy, "Stick that in me one more time, and I will break it!"

I am convinced that my superpowers are locked inside of me, and can't be released until my mom makes me a superhero costume. for some strange reason, that doesn't seem to be on the list of high priorities for her!

If Procrastinators formed a club, would they ever meet?

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every-time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Silence is golden, duck-tape is silver.

Bad spelerz uv da world, untie!

Backstabbing is fun... the look on your face is priceless

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

Don't try to out-weird me-- I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.

Don't you look at me with that tone of voice.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

Shakespeare must have had a lot of one-night-stands because anyone who can make suicide romantic had to be a smooth talker.

Love can be so boring

Many a grandchild was spoiled because you simply cannot spank Grandpa.

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Ahh pure love (smiles wistfully) It makes me sick.

You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?

Fanfictions aren't everything... but they're right up there with oxygen.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

You say crazy like it's a bad thing...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

I snap crackle and pop rice krispies.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

Can I borrow your pen? I need to stab you in the eye.

Your year book picture still haunts me.

Workin' hard or hardly workin'?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

It's a wonder they haven't locked you up yet.

Who ever said that anything was possible has obviously never tried to ski through a revolving door...

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

You've gotta die in creative ways.

When in doubt, use brute force. When that doesn't work...RUN!!

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Never knock on Death's door... Ring the bell and run away... he hates that!

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

"One person couldn't have that many emotions! They'd explode!"-Ron from Harry Potter

"I suppose Mum didn't put a letter on your sweater because she thinks you're too smart to forget your name, but it's okay. We're not stupid. We know our names are Gred and Feorge."-George from Harry Potter.

"How do you feel, George?" "Saint-like." "What? Did that spell hit your brain?" "no, Fred. Saint-like. Holy? Get it, Fred? Holy!" Fred and George from Harry Potter after George gets his ear cut off.

Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

Don't worry about the world ending today, it's already tomorrow in Australia. Unless you're in Australia, then start worrying.

Never say 'bite me' to a vampire.

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize."

When you cut the onions, try not to win a Darwin Award.

Welcome to Loserville. Population: you.

"I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight!"

Never punch a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

Life isn't trying to pass me by; it's trying to run me over!

You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.

The extinction of the dinosaurs was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes!

An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

dinosaurs are just a lie fed to us by evil scientists to cover up the existence of Pokemon.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my freaking soda!"

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

If a parent/guardian ask, "What did you learn in school today?" Answer, "I learned how to survive it."

When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Say to them, "Well of course it is! Why the heck would I keep looking for it after I found it?"

While waiting at a bus stop, if someone ask you, "Has the bus come yet?" Reply, "If the bus had come, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?"

"Wannabe."

"You know, you might wanna be shuttin your face there."

Jade and stupid girl on Victorious

"What's with the disco?"

"I'm sorry I hit the wrong thing!"

"No! 15 years ago your mother gave birth to the wrong thing!"

- Jade and the Lights and sound guy on Victorious

Dog: Stop peeing in my porcelain drinking bowl!

No, I'm not perfect, and I don't pretend to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure you own hands are clean.

To My Haters:

I keep it real, and that's a promise.

I may be whatever you wanna call me, but I'm honest.

When I walk by, you stop and stare.

Well, keep looking, cuz I don't care.

I have my own life and style.

Not trying to please you or make you smile.

When it comes to competition, you're out.

So shut up and keep me outta your mouth.

---

Maximum Ride Quotes

"Rowr!" -Fang

"I choose you, Max" -Fang (This quote makes me laugh. Why? Because I keep picturing Fang throwing a Pokeball and Max popping out of it. Pokemon has ruined my mind.)

"I vill now destroy da snickahs bahrs!" -Gazzy

"I feel like pudding. Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy

"We were in a top-secret facility in the middle of Death Valley, officially called 'Freaking Nowhere' on any map, and yet he managed to produce marshmallows." -Max

"I had never, ever wanted to kill anyone more, not even last summer when Iggy had shredded my only, favorite pair of non-Goodwill pants to make a fuse long enough to detonate something from fifty feet away." -Max

"In the dictionary, next to the word stress, there is a picture of a midsize mutant stuck inside a dog crate, wondering if her destiny is to be killed or to save the world." -Max

"My favorite? The Institute for Realizing Your Pet's Inner Potential. Anyone who can explain that to me, please drop a line." -Max

"I don't know about the rest of you who have little voices, but something about mine made me feel compelled to listen to it." -Max

"We could make traps! Do sabotage! Bombs!" -Gazzy
"Bombs are good! I love bombs!" -Iggy

"Let's get out of here. A Ouija board just told me to save the world." -Max

"Why was the blind guy playing with matches, you ask? Because he's good at it." -Max

"Yeah, Camp Bummer. For wayward mutants." -Fang

"You know what I like about New York? It's full of New Yorkers who are freakier than us." -Gazzy

"How did they even know we were up here? Who looks up into a tree?" -Gazzy

"In this store, he'd exchanged his basic black ensemble for a slightly different basic black ensemble." -Max

"Gazzy looked from me to Fang to Iggy, clearly thinking that he was sunk now that I had obviously severed all ties with reality." -Max

"A chip like that is bad news. It might be NSA. I won't mess with it. Look, you stay away from me! Next thing, they'll be after me! I hate them! Hate them!" -The MIT Dropout Hacker Guy

"Note to self: stop punching inanimate objects." -Max

"Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could turn Mother Teresa into an ax murderer." -Max

"Yeah, this is what we needed. A staircase going down to the Dark Place." -Fang

"Just walk. Keep walking. Walk the walk." -Max

“We’d had one long, ugly day. Well, another long, ugly day in a whole series of long, ugly days. If I ever actually had a good day, I’d probably freak out.” -Max

“It was you or him. I’m glad you picked you.” –Fang

“Here. Have a dog.” –Max

“You... are... a... fridge... with... wings. We’re... freaking... ballet... dancers.” –Fang

“Boy, you just can’t kill people like you used to.” –Fang

“They were bad fliers. And in their minds, they weren’t all Kill the mutants, like they usually are. They were like, Remember to flap!” –Angel

“Accident.” –Max
“Accident? With what, a rabid bear?” –Paramedic
“Kind of.” –Max

“And how do you spell that?” –FBI investigator
“Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then Terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R.” -Gazzy

“Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren’t missionaries.” –FBI investigator
“No? Well, for God’s sake, don’t tell them. They’d be crushed. Thinking they’re doing the Lord’s work, and all.” –Max

did we want a dog? No. Did we need a dog? No. Did we have enough food and money to keep a dog? Wait for it...No.-Max

“Have you ever been to Colorado?” –FBI investigator
“Is that one of those square ones, in the middle?” –Max

"I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?" Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much. -Total and Max-MAX

Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. -Max-MAX

"What's your name?" "Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild." -Angel answering Steve-MAX

"I'm only a kid! I can't get married!" "You could in New Hampshire." -Max and Angel-MAX

“I wanted to grab the front of his shirt, throw him against the wall, get some answers. But I’m trying to outgrow that kind of thing.” –Max

“Can we see him?” –Iggy
“Ig, I hate to break this to you, but you’re blind.” –Max

“Of course, the prince gets his own bed all to himself.” –Max
“That’s right. The prince has a gaping side wound.” –Fang

“So, Fnick, can I change the channel? There’s a game on.” –Iggy
“Make yourself at home, Figgy.” –Fang

Max: "Will you quit that?"
Fang: "Quit what? Breathing?"
Max: "You know what."

Gasman: "What does that mean" (points to a sign that says Stay Off the Third Rail!)
Fang: "It means the third rail has seven hundred volts of direct current running through it. Touch it and you're human popcorn."

Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What've you been eating, rocks?"
Max: "Why, is your head missing some?"

Fang: "Can I interest you in a bit of raw desert rat?"
Nudge: "Oh, no!"
Fang: (pops into mouth, chews, and swallows loudly) "Can't get fresher."
Nudge: "Ugh!"

Dr. Martinez: "I take it you don't want me to call your parents?"
Max: "Um, no." Hello, lab? May I speak to a test tube, please

Max: “I’m okay now. Maybe it’s a stomach bug or something.” Yeah, the kind of stomach bug that causes brain cancer.

Max: “Sixty dollars?”
Fang: “He was a total jerk. Take him for all he’s got.”
Max: “You are evil. I like that.”

Fang: “Yes! Freaks rule.”

Mike: “Where’s your gear?”
Fang: “We don’t have any gear. Spooky, isn’t it?”

Random Person: “Is this a movie?”
Max: Nah – this is too original for Hollywood. They do sequels.

Dean: “Max, we want to help you. But you’ve got to help us to. Fair is fair.”
Max: “You’re kidding, right? Please tell me you have a stronger motive for me than ‘fair is fair’. Life isn’t fair, Dean. Nothing is fair, ever. Try ‘I need you to help me so I won’t rip out your spine and beat you with it.’ I might respond to that. Maybe.”

Iggy: “Max? Can I come in?”
Max: “No – I’m in a towel.”
Iggy: “I’m blind.”
Max: “No! You’re kidding! Are you sure?”

Max: “Something’s wrong with me, but I don’t know what.”
Fang: “You’ll be okay.”
Max: “How do you know?”
Fang: “Because I know everything, as I keep reminding you.”

The Gasman: (In Mr. Pruitt’s voice) “You ignorant little sah-vages. You malignant little fiends.” (Then in Max’s voice) “But sir, our parents are missionaries. Lying is the Tenth Commandment. They’re innocent of all wrongdoing. What’s a stink bomb?”
Iggy: “Is lying really the Tenth Commandment?”
Max: “No idea.”

Fang: “So I guess we just kiss the world good-bye.”
Max: “So funny. You’re quite the wit.”
Fang: “The ladies like it.”

Max: “Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!”
Fang: “But we’re grounded.”
(Stare at each other for a second and then burst out laughing.)

Fang: “Holy (insert a swear word of your choice here).”

Max: “Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?”
Fang: “Yeah.”
Max: “When?”
Fang: “Right away.”
Max: “How? We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?”
Fang: (grins) “She offered to cook breakfast.”

Max: “Lay off the freaking horn!”
Nudge: “Sorry, it’s just so much fun – it sounds like a party.”

Max: “We’ll be like cavemen, trying to weave clothes out of plant fibers. We’ll have nothing! Nothing! All because you and the kids want to kick back in a La-Z-Boy during the most important time in history!”
Fang: “So maybe we should sign you up for a weaving class. Get a jump on all those plant fibers.”
Max: “I hate you!”
Fang: “No you dooonnn’t!”

Iggy: “Look, just because Max isn’t here doesn’t mean all the rules have gone out the window. She left me in charge, and I’m gonna make sure to do everything she would –” (Tries to hold a straight face then cracks up)

Max: “What the heck are you doing?”
Fang: “Helping you change your mind.” (Leans in and kisses her)

Fang: “We’re going to pretend nothing’s going on? That’s stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open.”
Max: “Have you been watching Oprah again?”

Dr. Martinez: “Fang? Are you – like Max?”
Fang: “Nope. I’m the smart one.”

Max: “So, you have your price. Your soul for a cookie.”
Fang: (flips max off)

Fang: “You still want to do this? Bark once for yes.”

Max: “Fang?”
Fang: “Yeah. I’m here.”
Max: “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Fang: “Yeah, I got that.”
Max: “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Fang: “You’d be fine.”
Max: “No. I’d be totally unfine. Totally.”
Fang: “It’s okay. Just relax. Just… relax. Don’t try to talk.”
Max: “I don’t want my chip anymore. Actually, I never wanted that chip.”
Fang: “Okay, we’re taking it out.”
Max: “I just want you to hold my hand.”
Fang: “I am holding your hand.”
Max: “Oh, I knew that… Fang, don’t go anywhere.”
Fang: “I won’t. I’m here.”
Max: “Okay, I need you here. Don’t leave me.”
Fang: “I won’t.”
Max: “Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much.”
Fang: “Oh, jeez.”

Max: “What I said yesterday didn’t mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!”
Fang: “Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me. Pick a tree. I’ll go carve out initials in it.”

Fang: “There is one bright side to this.”
Max: “Yeah? What’s that?”
Fang: (grins) “You looove me.” (Holds arms out wide) “You love me this much.”

Jeb: “Any nausea? Headache?”
Max: “Yep. And it’s standing here talking to me.”

Jeb: “The truth is, Max, nothing is as it seems.”
Max: “Uh-huh. Is that what the aliens told you when you quit wearing your foil hat?”
Anne: “The truth is, Max, you’re at the School.”
Max: “No freaking duh. And uh, wait – let me guess – I’m some kind of bird-kid hybrid. And you captured me. And, and, I’m strapped to a hospital bed. I bet I even have wings. Am I right?”

Ter Borcht: “You haf a malfunctioning chip, you get debilitating headaches, and your leadership skills are sadly much less than ve had hoped for.”
Max: “And yet I could still kick your doughy Eurotrash butt from here to next Tuesday. So that’s something.”

Ter Borcht: “Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?”
Gazzy: “I have x-ray vision.” (looks at ter Borcht’s chest and then looks appalled)

Ter Borcht: “Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?”
Nudge: “You mean, like, besides the wings?”
Ter Borcht: “Yes. Besides de vings.”
Nudge: “Hmm. Besides de vings. Um… I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!”
Ter Borcht: “Hardly a special talent.”
Nudge: “Yeah? Let’s see you do it.”
Gazzy: (in ter Borcht’s voice) “I vill now eat nine Snickers bars, visout bahfing.”

Ter Borcht: “Does anysing on you vork properly?”
Iggy: “Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony.”

Ter Borcht: “You don’t speak much, do you?”
Fang: …
Ter Borcht: “Vhy do you let a girl be de leader?”
Fang: “She’s the tough one.”
Max: Dang right.
Ter Borcht: “Is dere anysing special about you?”
Fang: “Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.”

Max: “Now, let’s say they come get us.”
Iggy: “And, like, the halls are full of zebras.”
Gazzy: “And suddenly tons of bubbles everywhere.”
Nudge: “And then everyone starts eating beef jerky.”
Iggy: “Yeah, I’ll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent, so people are choking and gagging; and let’s throw beef jerky right into their eyes. Now that’s a plan!”

Ter Borcht: “It is time to eliminate you. You haf failed all de tests. You are not useful.”
Max: “No, but we’re dang cute.”

"I'm such a marshmallow!" -Total

BIRDSEED!! They gave us BIRDSEED!! --Nudge

South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas. You like llamas. --Max

Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips.' And potato chips were 'crisps.' And cookies were 'biscuits.' I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles? --Max

I LOVE MAXIMUM RIDE! If you haven't read it you should sometime :-) And just so all of you know- I CALL DIBS ON FANG!!! Ha! You losers! I win!

XXXXX

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, flyaway111, physics chick, CrazyNerdyFangirl, Paramorerox24

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If your part of the 7 percent that would ask the person "what was your first clue?" copy this onto your profile then add your name to the list:Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A, Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A.,Evil Genus of the C.O.C.A., Invador Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, BellaBookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Spottedlilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.for.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid Cliche, rainxface, maximumride24,FangsGirl24601, A Silenced Angel, UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND. CrazyNerdyFangirl, Paramorerox24

XXXXXXXX

Hey! It's time for an installment of My thoughts on...

Edward Cullen-Creepy.Stalker.Creepy.Sparkly.Creepy.Gay.Creepy.Ugly. Did I say creepy yet?

Robert Pattison-Look above at Edward Cullen

Justine (no, not a typo) Bieber-Look above at Robert Pattison. Also, go on Youtube and look up Off the Pill:Bieber Fever.

Fax-YES,YES,YES,YES,YES all the way. They are made for each other. Stupid Dylan. If I could stab him right now, I would. Then again, any other form of death would be good for him, as long as it's slow and painful.

Percabeth-OHMYGAWD, YES! They're awesome in the books! On Fanfiction, though...moving on!

I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish

I'm NOT FAT, so I MUST be anorexic

I'm a GOOD LIAR, so everything that comes out of my mouth MUST be a lie

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's butt

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREE HUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up

I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch

I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I'm WHITE and have BLACK FRIENDS, so I MUST be trying to be black

I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm AFRICAN AMERICAN, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be an idiot with a jock boyfriend

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek

I'm in ORCHESTRA, so I MUST be a dork

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid and stuck up

I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too

I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist

I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd

I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life

I TALK a lot, so I MUST be self-centered.

I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try

I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans

I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature

I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet

I have red hair, so I must be Irish

I am considered wierd, so I MUST be an outcast and a freak.

I am Irish, so I MUST have a temper

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm a NEGRO, so I MUST carry a gun
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat

I'm ATHEIST, so i MUST hate the world

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so i must steal stuff
I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so i MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I live in the south, so I must be a hillbilly with a hillbilly accent

I'm from MINNESOTA, so I MUST be a hockey head

Im WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE
Im ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE
'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality
I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist
I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a hippie/druggie
I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek
I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports
I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends
I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at housework.
I am not EMO, so I MUST be uncool
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird

I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene.
I am a HOUSEWIFE, so I MUST have no self respect
I consider myself 'NORMAL', so I MUST be boring

Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of. BOLD ones are me.

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╔═════════════════
: Tuяn Up Tнe Vσℓυмe :

.ılı.--Volume--.ılı.:

Min- - - - - - - - - - -●Max:

► Play ▌▌ Pause ■ Stop
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Oh, you don't like me? Hold on a sec* *Loading*
█ Attempting to give a crap
██ {ERROR}
█████ Failed

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For me crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in in a book. Crazy is when you yell at fictional book characters for doing stupid things or when you decide to hunt down fictional book characters and kill them for hurting other fictional book characters Crazy is when your mother has to pry books or manga or some sort of technologyfrom your fingertips and you start to sob. Crazy is when you just said something very serious then burst out laughing. Crazy is when you save up hundreds of dollars for college then blow it all at a candy store. Crazy is when you start laughing hysterically because of a sign on the computer that said DO NOT TURN OFF. Crazy is wen u brake ur leg wile getting a glass of water. Crazy is when you're trying to capitalize the c in crazy for 10 minutes when u realize the caps lock is still on and your holding the shift botton. Copy and Paste this onto your profile if you're crazy.

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This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line

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A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, Best Friend well go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he dumps you, Best Friend will call him and whisper "Seven days..."

A friend will help you up when you fall, Best Friend will laugh because she tripped me.

A friend helps you find you're prince charming; Best Friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend gives you there umbrella in the rain; Best Friend takes yours and runs away.

A friend helps you move, Best Friend helps you move the bodies

A friend well bail you out of jail, Best Friend is sitting next to you saying "That was Awesome!! Let’s do it again!!"

A friend knows a lot of things about you; Best Friend could right a very embarrassing biography of your live.

A friend will teach me how to drive; Best Friend will help me push the car in the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend will go to the concert with me; Best Friend will kidnap the band with me.

A friend will hide me from the cops; Best Friend is the reason there after me.

A friend will let me make a fool of myself in public, Best Friend is making a fool of herself next to me.

Friends Fade, Best Friends are forever.

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Funny Phobias:

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: The fear of long words (LOL)

Androphibia: The fear of males

Venustraphobia: The fear of beautiful woman

Thaasophobia: The fear of sitting

Sophophobia: The fear of learning

Scriptophobia: The fear of writing in public (weird)

Scolionophobia: The fear of school

Homophobia: The fear of gays

Phronemophobia: The fear of thinking (I feel bad for whoever has that)

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Stories:

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook."

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die without you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

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A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

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VIRGO - The Perfectionist ~ Dominant ~ (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
In relationships, very conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes
noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

SCORPIO -

The Intense One ~ Very Energetic ~ (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive.
Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic.
Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge.
EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit.
Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. courageous and assertive.
Tends to be physical and athletic.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators.
Very gullible.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge.
EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit.
Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. courageous and assertive.
Tends to be physical and athletic.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart ~ (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal.
Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside
and out. Eccentric personality.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox ~ (May 21 - June 20)
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense.
Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.

LEO - The Boss ~ (July 23 - Aug 22)
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Likes boundaries. Tend to take over everything.
Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leo's. Attractive.

CANCER - The Protector ~ (June 21 - July 22)
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

PISCES - The Dreamer ~ (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter ~ (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.

TAURUS - The Enduring One ~ (April 20 - May 20th)
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally.
Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One ~ (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Beautiful inside and out.

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What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
don't look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 years later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking?"

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Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

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WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.
36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if heshe did it.
42. Dress like the professor.
44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (Bold ones are me)

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails (...no comment...)
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property (Very close though. They threatened to throw me out)
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do. (I do that all the time.)
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it (Sometimes having family sucks...)
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone. (I do that to my brother at every single resturant we go to. Every. Single. One.)
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird.
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people (Hit my teacher in the back of the head once...good times. Good times.)
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

...wow...that's a lot...

XXXXXX

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

.mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Azmanig huh?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

What a guy means, when he says some stuff-
"You know how bad my memory is!”
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned…but I forgot your birthday."

“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.”
"I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

“Take a breath honey. You work too hard.
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"It‘s a guy thing"
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to do"
"I have no idea how it works."

"I cant find it."
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

XXXXXXXX

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.
2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.
3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel.
4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.
5. You claim you have wings. (Mine are black with white speckles!)
6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'.
7. You daydream about meeting the flock.
8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.
9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.
10. You study about birds.
11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal.
12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.
13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.
14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.
15. You are counting down the days for the next book.
16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight.
17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser.
18. You hate dog crates.
19. You think scientists are evil.
20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.
21. When you’re spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.
22. You've found a new respect for blind people.
23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.
24. You say 'U and A’ a lot.
25. You think you have a Voice like Max.
26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it.
27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR.
28. You know what 'Fax' is.
29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.
30. You claim to have brain attacks.
31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.
32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is.
33. You daydream of flying.
34. You love chocolate chip cookies.
35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.
36. If you want to become a writer because of MR
37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.
38. If you love Fan-fiction.
39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.
40. You want a talking dog.

XXXXXXX

Copy and Paste:

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever had the sudden desire to own a tazer, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you happen to still talk to your imaginary Friend and occasionally punch him/her because they are know it alls copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. (Don't you hate that?)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a song in your head but can’t remember what it was called copy and paste this to your profile. (...I hate that too...)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Read through the whole night once. I was completely drained the next day. I finished the book though.)

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. (Both. I think I'm more though. It's a close call.)

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have a teacher who doesn't know what the heck there doing and you hate them because they annoy you pastes this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Geez...I hope not. That would suck.)

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I villa now destroy de Snickers bars!' then copy this to your profile! (Good times...good times.)

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever started singing in a silent room copy this onto your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should confess their love for each other, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. (Guess what's next...)

If you have ever tripped up the stairs copy this into your profile. (Heck yes! I'm just that awesome.)

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. (Like, ten times at this point. Maybe more.)

If you have ever burnt precooked food, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you’ve ever been yelled by your parents for reading too much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever shouted a random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and pastes this to your profile.

90 of teens today would die if MySpace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

if you are procrastinating doing work that you really should be doing right now, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. (Don't ask.)

If you go through profiles like mad, looking at all of the copy/pasty-thingies, and copy/paste every single one that has a remote chance of being interesting, fill up your profile to the limit, and continue doing it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you are as bad a cook as Max, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile. (Nope, I'm just physic. Sarcasm, people. You've got to love it.)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you'll take first watch copy and paste this is in your profile. (inside Maximum Ride joke.)

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen going up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have made up a bunch of strange words that you use frequently, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you're reading this instead of doing something you really need to do, copy this into your profile.

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. (That hurt.)

If you have ever yelled at and/or slapped an inanimate object from anger, paste this on your profile. (That's what a pillow's for.)

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.

If you have any secrets, paste this on your profile.

If you are a girl, paste this on your profile.

If you think Justin Bieber and Edward Cullen belong together, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination or something to that effect, copy and paste this into your profile. (Mwahahaha!)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy pastes this to your profile if you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV.

Five fourths of people have trouble with fractions, if you're the part of the five fourths, say aye! or just copy into your profile, you chose.

Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

65 percent of teenagers would rather watch TV than read. If you are one of the 35 percent who would have their nose in a book, copy/paste this to your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good.

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattison (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a skyscraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit, eating popcorn screaming "DO A BACK FLIP YOU SPARKLY RETARD!" then copy and paste this on your status .

95 percent of teen girls would rush in a mob to every sperm bank if Robert Pattinson announced that he had donated sperm. Copy this to your profile if you would be part of the 5 percent holding a gun, watching the mob rush by, and picking off the weaklings

93% of teen girls would cry if Justina Bieber was about to jump off a skyscraper. 5% would sit down, eating popcorn. Copy and paste this into your profile if you'd be the 2% pushing him off.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

Five fourths of people have trouble with fractions, if you're the part of the five fourths, say aye! or just copy into your profile, you chose.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out
of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.
Never take your dad for granted, you have no idea what you are missing. Love him
and thank him while he's alive.
If you truly love your dad, post this to your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have a teacher who doesn't know what the heck there doing and you hate them because they annoy you paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever had the sudden desire to own a tazer, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you happen to still talk to your imaginary Friend and occasionally punch him/her because they are know it alls copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.