barnypurpledragon10
 NAME: Bernadette GENDER: girl( hence the name bernadette.) huh hence, thats a funny word; hence hehe hence... sorry, i get distracted easily! I'm in yr 8, i'm a random and i have way randomer friends than me. I live in Sydney, Australia. and now, introducing some of the random stuff i find on this site that i personally think is either a) funny, b) sad, and/or c) totally true. Some people wish anime characters or powers were real, if you want them to be real add your name to the list:Edward-Elric-in-red/Allen-Walker-in-black, KaoruBC101z, dejiko001,babi-anime91, PinkBlossomRedBerserk, InvisibleHearts,faithnmanga3, barnypurpledragon10, If you think that Zuko is WAY hotter than Aang, copy this into your profile If you have ever suffered from "A.W.S." (Avatar Wait Syndrome...every day! Sob!) If you still support Kataang and haven't reverted to the dark side (Zutara) yet (despite bribes of cookies). If you've ever walked into a window or glass door (it's invisible, gosh! That streak-free window cleaner works too well!). If you ever wished to be able to bend (Avatar Powers...wicked awesum-ola!). If you are so obsessed with Avatar that it is NOT even funny anymore. Copy and paste this into your profile if you think Zutara makes no sense. AT ALL. Copy and paste this into your profile if you think Zuko would've changed sides a whole lot earlier if someone had just bothered to give him a hug. Copy and paste this into your profile if you think the Waterbenders ARE the best benders. Copy and paste this into your profile if you think Zuko is good at impressions. 90% OF TEEN WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN IF JUSTIN BEIBER WAS STANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE TOWER READY TO JUMP.COPY AND PASTE THIS IF YOUR ONE OF THE 10% OF PEOPLE WHO WOULD BRING OUT A LAWN CHAIR AND POPCORN AND SCREAM "DIE BITCH!!" ಠ_ಠ If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you ever ran into a parked car, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think about Avatar practically 24/7. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile. 93 percent of teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the seven percent that would ask, "What was your first clue?", copy and past this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Ivander Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Alice001, HeartOfAgony, VampiressE12B, down.with.jacob., bibliocrazed, funsizedevil, RosemarieH, Separate Entity, Scarlet.Wings.Cullen.Winchester, Little Daphamir, happylandfill, Angel Words, barnypurpledragon10. For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I like Meat so I must be a WEREWOLF. WHETHER IT BE BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!..copy and paste this into your profile if you agree. If you have finally come to the realization that NCIS is the ultimate crime show in the history of the world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are weired, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. If you have finally come to the realization that NCIS is the ultimate crime show in the history of the world, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person (or not) copy this into your profile. If you fall up the stairs not down them, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book or tv show and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. (All the time. With Ashley from SoN.) if youve ever copied something onto your profile, copy this onto your profile If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. if you are totally in love with ice cream, copy this on your profile. If you like pie, copy and paste this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Orlando Bloom told them it was uncool to breathe, copy this into your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing you butt off. If you haven't died yet, copy this into your profile. (please define "died") If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile. A man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... If you have ever burst out laughing from something that happened YESTERDAY, copy this into your profile. if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile. If you love Supernatural, copy this onto your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If you think rock, paper, scissors solves everything then put this in you’re profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile. If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree all girls copy and paste Kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted If you have actually considered getting an Impala for your first car, copy this to your profile. If you are addicted to Supernatural, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever written something, loved it, but then next time you read it you hate it and completely rip it apart and completely rewrote it, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you are one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tried to hi-five some body and it has taken over 10 tries to actually slap their hand copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have music in your soul copy and paste htis into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless,yet you do it anyways,copy and paste this into your profile. 65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading,if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV and are proud of it,copy and paste this into your profile. If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else,copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obbsesed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart snd sing it no matter how of key you are,copy and paste this into your profile. If it totally pisses you off when people say being gay is gross than copy and paste this into your profile If you are bored and like to write stuff,copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning,copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Writer's Block sucks,copy and paste this into your profile. Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this fact, copy and paste this into your profile. 99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted. If you are a member of the 0.5 percent that think you're above such double-crossing fads, paste this in your profile and continue making your friends the good ol' fashioned way. If you're one of those people that are reading my profile right now and you're not just aimlessly scanning over it, post this in your profile If you go on FanFiction.net everyday, copy and paste this into your profile If you don't have a problem with Homosexuality copy this into your profile If you would take a bullet for your best friend, put this in your profile. (I'd take a bullet for anyone of my friends!) If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. Oh Them? Yeah I'd Lie For Them, Cry For Them, Take a bullet, & Straight Up Die For Them because they're my best friends. If this sounds like you, Copy and Paste it to your profile If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head . Pass it on... If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever been bored out of your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. I love it when someone says something is the new black. Then I punch them in the face and say, 'like that?' If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or If you have a totally insaine friend who wants to dystroy the Earth, post this on ur page! YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (well im the only one who can answer my questions.) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (well no one else has the patience to listen.) When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean taking out someone's liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffeine You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. If you can go on a sugar buzz without even eating sugar, again, join the club and copy and paste this to your profile. If you hunt through people's profiles to find copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think life would be dull and dreary without technology, copy and paste this into your profile If you have an author you highly respect, copy and paste this into your profile and add their name to the list: Dewdrop13, Umbreon Mastah, Mind Seeker, MindSeeker/Ivyna J. Spyder/Netbug009, Angelwords/ Sun-Shine99 How To Annoy People At An Amusement Park Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatly if they would like their picture taken. Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line. Every time you pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind you in line. Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it. Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let you off. Speak in Spanish, or pretend you're deaf and start making rapid hand movements. Start talking about shaving your excess body hair in line while everyone around you is silent. Find someone and tell them you're lost. Use your best acting skills. Go up to the boy band wanna-be group and pretend to be really excited and ask for their autographs, reassuring them that they're gonna make it big soon. Take an Alka-Seltzer tablet and begin to have spasmatic movements in your body while foaming at the mouth at the very top of the tallest ride. Begin to cry when they start the merry-go-round and have them stop it because you're too scared to go all the way. Start talking loudly about the last time you got stuck upside-down on this ride, scaring everyone in line around you. Ask someone that looks like they're in a hurry for directions. Complain about how dirty the seat is, and demand they clean it off. Walk up to anyone in the park, and say "Hi, my name is your name" and offer a handshake. Ask ANYONE for their autograph. Advertise for a theme park...one you're not at. Whisper right in someone's ear, "I know what you did last summer." Comment how good you look in every picture of you on a ride. Make fun of everyone else in every set of pictures taken during the rides. Go up to every character walking around and give them a big hug and call them your "hero." Ride every water ride and inform everybody with you that you can't swim and everyone's gonna drown. This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it? Re-post this if you truly believe in God, and even if you don't. I like cheese. I think the sky should be pink. How come we drive on parkways, but park on driveways? Or why are apartments called 'apartments' when they're all stuck together? Lemonade tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have the most RANDOM dreams, copy this. Things to do on an elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. [omg I laughed my eyes out when I read this. I'm totaslly going to try this!!!] 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have a weird/insane friend/brother (especially the psychotic ones) and you love his/her weirdness/insanity, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If Justin Bieber was about to jump off a cliff, 97% of girls would be crying their eyes out and screaming "DONT DO IT!!!" But I would be a part of the other 3% that would be screaming and jumping on the couch with excitement with a bowl of popcorn at hand saying "JUMP JUMP JUMP!!!" Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are that 3%. (I just thought this was funny!) Things to do When Bored in a Store 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" I wouldn't do most of these things, but it was very funny! If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile. If you ever fell off a chair back wards copy this into your profile If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! Friends: FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!' FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'it’s because your gay isn't it?' FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!! "Try Not To Cry"- Seriously, if your eyes don't at least get a little misty when you read this you have a problem. Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" So, Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry and remember how blessed they truly are, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry" 2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are... it ok to cry REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" Boys are like slinkies; practically useless, and yet it is SO amusing to watch them fall down the stairs!! Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up. Excuse me. Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it... My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. I don't obsess! I think intensely. If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out. I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as me MOO... I'm a fish Silence is Golden, Ducktape is Silver Guns don't kill people, People with mustaches do Love isn't about joy, its about endurance Life pushes us down, the only thing we can do is get back up and try again Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.- Oscar Wilde Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’. Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever. Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while. Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her. Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’. Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy … disagrees. Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand. Ron Weasley … is very afraid. Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much. Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat. Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out. George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry. Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter. James Potter … doesn’t believe her. Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’. Sirius Black … killed by drapery. Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences. Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane. Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush. Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’. Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence. Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff. Slytherins … will push someone else off. Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase. Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost then copy and paste this in your profile If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..." If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head... Copy and paste this on your profile. My name Kelly I am only three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Kelly I am only three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. copy and paste this on your profile if you hate child abuse If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP sign. If you've ever seen an adult use slang and it freaked you out. A.D.D. You have Attention Deficit Dis--um, hello!? Are you even reading this anymore? Yoo-hoo!? Hey! Look at this...shiny object...you like that right? That's right...Look at the--hey! Stop that! Look, your nose is on your FACE, you can't *chase it*. It doesn't work that way...oh forget it. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. SO TRUE!!!!! If you have ever fallen up the stairs, put this in your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit over nothing at all, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. Pick up lines comebacks... add to it Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you like to constantly update your Fanfiction profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, copy this into your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you hate girly-girls, or people who think that they are everything, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste into your profile. If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile. If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile. THINGS I CANNOT DO AT HOGWARTS (unfortunately...) 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms 2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class 4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss 5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar 7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy 8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" 9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches 11) I will no replace Professor Lockhart's shampoo with super glue. 12) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!" 13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor 15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental 16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" 17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bamf!" everytime I apparate. 20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand. 23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice. 25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. 26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force". 28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. 29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library. 30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. 31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore". 32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a 34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause. 35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord. 36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. 37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it. 38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. 39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class. 41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets". 43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. 44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. 45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly. 46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “ 47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death. 48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord. 49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny. 50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient. 51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists. 52.)I may not have a private army. 53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate. 54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy. 55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west. 56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either. 57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me. 58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors. 60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose. 61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. 62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them. 63.) - Especially not all of them at once. 64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts." 65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos." 66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'. 67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter. 68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'. 69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'. 70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters. 71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort. 72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms. 73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either. 74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins. 75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing. 77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'. 78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. 79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. 80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles. 81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin". 83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape. 84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it. 85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume. 86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes. 87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. 88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron. 89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times. 90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it. 91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade 92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry 93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall 94.) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 95.) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 96.) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it. 97.) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 98.) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 99.) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day." 100.) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 101.)I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 102.) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 103.) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously. 104.) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 105.) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 106.) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” 107.) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. 108.) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”. 109.) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmacy exams. 110.) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts. 111.) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation. 112.) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such. 113.) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit. 114.) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room. 115.) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow. 116.) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks. 117.) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks. 118.) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. 119.) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a muggle car. 120.) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine. 121.) When fighting deatheaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”. 122.) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become. 123.) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can not interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be. 124.) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S. 125.) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha. 126.) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 127.) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. if anyone actually read all that, id say you are out right freaking crazy! or deeply disturbed. O.o any thanks for visiting my profile! come again soon! goodbye now, goodbye... goodbye* shooing motion* oh for heavens sake! go already! XD |
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