Hi.my name is Miranda, I am tall,blond hair blue eyes i have glasses. two little brothers. i live in alaska. I love books.. paramore and flyleaf are so cool. I love the word cool. do not sassy me i will kill you mwhahahaha;

I LOVE all types of music!!!!!!!!!

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off! by-by

If you wish you could go to a vampire academy like Rose and Lissa and meet a guy like Dimitri, put this on your profile.

If you cried like a baby through the last chapters of Shadow Kiss because you thought Dimitri was dead, post this on your profile.

If you are so angry at the freaking Strigoi for turning Dimitri and taking him away from Rose, post this.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the hell of it then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile.

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile!!

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy this onto your profile

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your... well you know what comes next.

If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes about twilight, copy this into your profile

If you are in love with a fictional characted copy this to your profile

I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am

the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter (or Twilight), who can express herself better with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

~PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, Shadows.Dance, mad-dog-13,twilighternproud, RoseredBlood, LellyLunya, way-2-obsessed-with-vamps, WildChildBornGood~ Dimiksgirl123

Girls Need To Realize: WRITTEN BY A GUY! :)

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls, OR TEXTS, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.
That it can't wait till the morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.
Let us pay for you! Dont 'feel bad', we enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you'.
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for who you are and not what you are.
Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. Or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful' I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand I'm not saying I wouldn't like it either... ;- )
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!
Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect!
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and say 'I love you'...and actually mean it.
Give the nice guys a chance.

Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think it's cute.

I have two brother.

I have two dogs.

I fight with my parents EVERY DAY!!!

I love to read.

I love music.

I'm quiet.

I'm in 11th grade.

I have an obsession with Vampire Academy.

I heard Country music.

I think Twilight was better before the movies.

I get pissed off rather easily.

I overreact about EVERYTHING.

I love to fight with people about random things like about whether or not corn is a something you eat at supper or lunch. Or even who has the best pizza.

I love fan fiction.

I love Dimitri Belikov.

I can't sleep more than 4 hours without waking up. (that really sucks!)

I want to be like Rose Hathaway.

I want a boyfriend like Dimitri belikov.

I love watching Vampire Diaries, ICarly, Sonny With A Chance,

I love the books Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breakind Dawn, Vampire Academy, Frostbite, Shadow Kissed, Blood Promise, Spirit Bound, The Host, The vampire Diaries (all the books), The Hunger Games etc...

I hate the movies Twilight and New Moon.

I love the movie Eclipse.

I think Robert Patinson is HOT! (but Dimitri Belikov is hotter!!!)

I have a crush on the following:

-Dimitri Belikov.
-Christian Ozera.
-Adrian Ivashkov.
-Edward Cullen.
-Emmet Cullen.
-Jasper Cullen.
-Carlisle Cullen

Things PMS Stands For:

* Pass My Shutgun

* Psychotic Mood Swing

* Perpetual Munching Spree

* Puffy Mid-Section

* People Make me Sick

* Probide Me with Sweets

* Pardon My Sobbing

* Pimples May Surface

* Pass My Sweats

* Pissy Mood Syndrome

* Poor Men Suck

* Pack My Stuff

* Potential Murder Suspect

A teacher asks his students to punctuate this sentence:
"A woman without her man is nothing."
The men all write, "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women all write, "A woman! Without her, man is nothing."

PUNCTUATION IS POWERFUL!

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
TWILIGHT FANS: say OME! (OH MY EDWARD!)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings.
TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!
TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or I'll get James to kill you.

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula.
TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires.

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell EDWARD SAVE ME!!!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms.
TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation.
TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON.

NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile.
TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there profile.

Quotes From Vampire Academy:

"Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time.” -Rose.
"This is my time, Hathaway. I'm leading today's session.” -Mason.
"Oh yeah?" I retorted. "Huh. Well, I guess this is a good time to think about me naked, then.” -Rose.
"It's always a good a time to think about you naked," -Eddie, Vampire Academy.

"What? I just had my ass handed to me." -Rose, Vampire Academy.

"Are you lost, little girl? The elementary school's over on west campus." -Rose.
"Don't you ever touch me again. You screw with me, I'll screw you right back." -Mia.
Oh man, what an opening that was. -Rose, Vampire Academy.

"I love pity parties. I wish I'd bought the hats." -Christian, Vampire Academy.

"Don't worry, I won't bite. At least not in the way you're afraid of." -Christian, Vampire Academy.

He laughed, and I was pretty sure it was AT me and not WITH me. -Rose, Vampire Academy.

"I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays." -Rose, Vampire Academy.

"Screw you." -Rose.
"Are you offering?" -Ralf.
"From what I've heard, there isn't much to screw." -Rose.
"Wow, you have changed. Last I remebered you weren't too picky about who you got naked with." -Ralf.
"And the last I remember, the only people you ever saw naked were on the internet." -Rose, Vampire Acadeny.

"The Battle cry sort of gave you away. Try not to yell next time." -Dimitri, Vampire Academy.

"We all have to do things we don't like. That's life." -Christian.
"What are you? An after school special?" -Rose, Vampire Academy.

"If you weren't so sphycotic, you'd be fun to hang around." -Christian.
"Funny, I feel that way about you too." -Rose, Vampire Academy.

And than suddenly he was there, charging down the hallway like death in a cowboy duster. -Rose, Vampire Academy.

"The only thing better than imagining Dimitri carrying me in his arms was imagining him shirtless while carrying me in his arms." -Rose, Vampire Academy.

"Oh, man. Who pissed you off?" -Mason, Frostbite.

Good God, Men everywhere. -Rose, Frostbite.

"I need to get off the resort's property. They got Mia to use compulsion on the guards. I need you to do the same thing. I know you've practiced it." -Rose.
"I have. But...well...I'm not very good at it. And doing it on dhampirs is nearly impossible. Liss is a hundred times better than me. Or probably any Moroi." -Christian.
"I know. But I don't want her to get in trouble." -Rose.
"But you don't mind if I do?" -Christian.
"Not really." -Rose, Frostbite.

"You never looked so good Rose." -Christian, Frostbite.

“I can’t wait until this show gets on the road. You and me are going to have so much fun, Rose. Picking out curtains, doing each other’s hair, telling ghost stories…” -Christian, Shadow Kiss.

"You did not just say that. I have the feeling were on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other." -Christian.
"I already have a nickname for you, but I'll get n trouble if I say it in class." -Rose, Shadow Kiss.

"Really good. I think you have a promising future as a house wife while Lissa works and makes millions of dollars." -Rose.
"Funny that's exactly my dream." -Christian, Shadow Kiss.

"Great-Aunt. And I'm her favorite great nephew. Well I'm her only great nephew, but that's not important. I'd still be her favorite," -Adrian, Shadow Kiss.

"Oh my God. A kind word from Rose Hathaway, I can die a happy man." -Adrian.
"What are you saying that I'm normally an ungrateful bitch." silence "Hey! Not cool." -Rose, Shadow Kiss.

"Then stop bitching and try again." -Rose.
"Hey no advice ghost girl." -Adrian, Shadow Kiss.

"What do you think, little dhampir? I was pretty badass with that plant, wasn't I? Of course it would have been more badass if I'd, I dunno, helped an amputee grow a limb back. Or maybe separated Siamese twins. But that'll come with more practice." -Adrian.
"If you want some advice-which I'm sure you don't-you guys should lay off on the magic. Christian still thinks your moving in on Lissa." -Rose.
"What? Doesn't he know that my heart belongs to you?" -Adrian.
"It dose not. And no, he's still worried about it, despite what I've told him." -Rose.
"You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him feel better." -Adrian.
"If you touch me, I'll provide you with the oppritunity to see if you can heal your self. Then we'd see how badass you really are." -Rose.
"Aw you'd never hurt me. My face is too pretty." -Adrian, Shadow Kiss.

"I'm not jealous I'm just-" -Christian.
"-feeling insecure over the fact that your girlfriend is spending a lot of time with a rich and reasonably cute guy. Or, as we like to call it, jealous." -Rose, Shadow Kiss.

"Even I make mistakes. I know it's hard to believe-kind of surprises me myself-but I guess it has to happen. It's probably some kind of karmic way to balance out the universe. Otherwise it wouldn't be fair one person so full of awesomeness." -Rose, Shadow Kiss.

"Don't worry, little dhampir. You might be surrounded by clouds, but you'll always be like sunshine to me." -Adrian, Shadow Kiss.

"My cigarettes and I are going outside. At least they show me respect." -Adrian, Shadow Kiss.

"And I thought the whole point of my education was that violence is the answer." -Rose, Shadow Kiss.

"Oh man I didn't know you could kick into crazy mode even in dreams." -Rose, Shadow Kiss.

"Are you insane?" Who was I kidding of course he was. -Rose, Shadow Kiss.

"No," Dimitri interupted gently. "It won't happen to you. You're strong. You're so... so strong. It's why I love you." -Dimitri, Shadow Kiss.

"I did it because I love you," I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And really, it was. -Rose, Shadow Kiss.

I was sure he was going bring up some zen life lesson, but instead, he kissed me. -Rose, Shadow Kiss.

"You’re about to face down Strigoi, and my mother’s the one you’re scared of?" -Rose.
"She’s a forced to be reckoned with. Where do you think you got it from?" -Dimitri.
"It’s a wonder you bother with me then." -Rose.
"You’re worth it, believe me." -Dimitri, Shadow Kiss.

No one had ever called me unnatural before, except for the time I put ketchup on a taco. -Rose, Blood Promise.

I'd said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass. -Rose, Blood Promise.

"I'll always love you." -Rose.
"That's what I was supposed to say..." -Dimitri, Blood Promise.

"Are you kidding? He's arrogant, sarcastic, likes to intimidate people, and" – oh. Okay. Maybe she had a point. -Rose, Blood Promise.

"Oh God," I said. "I'm Zmey's daughter. Zmey Junior. Zmeyette, even." -Rose.
"What on Earth are you talking about?" -Janine, Blood Promise.

"Out of all the people who would attempt to rescue me I would never expected you two..." -Victor, Spirit Bound.

This is it, a small voice inside her head whispered. This is where I die. -Lissa, Spirit Bound.

"Because I need you to be bait for Rose." -Dimitri, Spirit Bound.

"Eternity will be lonely without you..." -Dimitri, Spirit Bound.

"There is no us, I already told you that." -Dimitri.
"And you know I'm not a very good listener." -Rose, Spirit Bound.

There's nothing more between you and me. -Dimitri, Spirit Bound.

I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has. -Dimitri, Spirit Bound.

She wasn't Alone, I was with her all night. -Adrian, Spirit Bound.

Dont touch her, Stay back, They arent going to lying a hand on you. -Dimitri, Spirit Bound

What's one of your favourite quotes of the stories?

"What's your name?"
"What?" I asked, squinting at the light.
"Your name." I reconized Dr. Olendzki peering over me.
"You know my name."
"I want you to tell me."
"Rose. Rose Hathaway."
"Do you know your birthday?"
"Of course I do. Why are you asking me such stupid things? Did you lose my records?"
Dr. Olendzki gave an exasperated sigh and walked off, taking the annoying light with her. "I think she's fine."

Or

"Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time."

What is your favourite Lissa and Rose moment?

The end of Shadow Kiss when Rose is going to leave but Lissa tries to stop her.

What was your favourite adventure/battle?

Rose fighting Dimitri at the fild experience.

Which book cover was your favourite?

Frostbite.

Are these books among your favourite books of all?

They are my favorite book.

This or That?

Vampire Academy or Frostbite?

Vampire Academy.

Frostbite or Shadow Kiss?

Shadow Kissed.

Shadow Kiss or Vampire Academy?

Shadow Kissed.

Blood Promise or Spirit Bound?

They both piss me off but I'll have to say that Spirit Bound.

Who do you want to see with Rose most: Adrian or Dimitri?

Dimitri.

Who do you like more:

Rose or Dimitri?

Both.

Rose or Adrian?

Rose.

Rose or Lissa?

Rose.

Lissa or Adrian?

Lissa.

Rose or Mia?

Rose.

Christian or Lissa?

Both.

Christian or Dimitri?

Dimitri.

Stan or Kirova?

No one. They both piss me off.

Kirova or Alberta?

Alberta.

Adrian or Christian?

Christian.

Janine Hathaway or Tasha Ozera?

Janine Hathaway.

Lissa or Mia?

Lissa.

Eddie or Mason?

Eddie.

Anna or Vladmir?

Anna.

Adrian or Mason?

Adrian.

Eddie or Christian?

Christian.

Eddie or Adrian?

Adrian.

Dimitri or Adrian?

Dimitri!!!

Mia or Jill?

Can't decide. Both.

Rose or Lissa?

Rose.

Spirit or Fire?

Can't Decide. Both are so cool!

Whos the better villian: Blond strigoi (Nathan) or Victor?

Nathan.

Moroi or Dhampir?

Dhampir, of course!

He gave her 12 roses,

11 real and one fake,

and said,

"I'll love you until the last rose dies."

If you want child abuse to STOP, copy and paste this into your profile:

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile.

My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall.

I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door.

He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.

Try Not To Cry:

Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did
What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight As',
I even got the gold!

But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said goodbye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go,
But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun,
He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny,
Got the gun from his older brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy;
That I love him very much,
And please tell Chris; my boyfriend;
That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister;
That she is the only now,
And tell my dear sweet Grandmother;
I'll be waiting for her now,

And tell my wonderful friends;
That they always were the best,
Mommy, I'm not the first,
I'm no better then the rest.

Mommy, tell my teachers;
I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this,
And please don't let this pass.

Mommy, why'd it have to be me?
No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others,
Mommy, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy, tell the doctors;
I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor,
Trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying,
With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy, please remember,
I'm in heaven with the rest.

Mommy, I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack,
Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I'm not coming back.

I wanted to go to college,
I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy;
On that trip to the new zoo.

I wanted to get married,
I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress,
Mommy, I wanted to live.

But Mommy, I'm must go now,
The time is getting late,
Mommy tell my boyfriend,
I'm sorry, but I had to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have,
I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all I wanted to say is,
"Mommy, I love you"

--In Memory Of The School Shootings--
If this poem touched you in any way, please pass it
on. And even if it didn't, pass it on just for the
memory of the innocent children

Dimitri + Rose!

Rose: Do I ever cross your mind?
Dimitri: No

Rose: Do you like me?
Dimitri: No

Rose: Do you want me?
Dimitri: No

Rose: Would you cry if I left?
Dimitri: No

Rose: Would you live for me?
Dimitri: No

Rose: Would you do anything for me?
Dimitri: No

Rose: Choose--me or your life
Dimitri: My life

Rose runs away in shock and pain and Dimitri runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

-If you wish you could go to St. Vladimir's Academy like Rose and Lissa and meet a guy like Dimitri, put this on your profile.

-If you are so angry at the freaking strigoi for turning Dimitri and taking him away from Rose, post this.

-If vampires are real, post it.

-If you have read every vampire book you can get your little hands on, post it up!

-If you support the ‘Rose somehow SAVING and NOT KILLING Dimitri’ club, copy this.

-If you cried like a baby through the last chapters of shadow kiss because you thought Dimitri was dead, post this on your profile. (Although I was sure he would turn Strigoi, I still cried like a baby)

-If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

-If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile.

-If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes about vampire academy, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever read a 700 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you think being weird is cooler than being cool. Copy & Paste this into ur profile

-If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile.

-If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

-If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

-If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile!!

-If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy this onto your profile.

-If you think that Vampire Academy is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your... well you know what comes next.

-If you are in love with a fictional characted copy this to your profile.

-If you are the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have an obsession with Vampire Academy, copy this into your profile.

-If you have an obsession with Fan Fiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have an obsession with reading fan fictions about Vampire academy copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile.

-If you've ever read ALL night, copy this into you profile.

-If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

-If you have WAY too much things to do on your hands and you're on fanfiction.net instead of doing them, copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

-98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.

-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

-93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

-If you're the kinda person who walks into a chair and apologizes, copy this onto your profile.

-If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

-92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

-65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 who read more than you watch TV then copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

-Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

-If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (What girl doesn't like Chocolate?)

-If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

-If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying,But at the same time funny, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

-Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

-Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.

-Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

-If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile.

-98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

-Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

-If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

-If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile.

-If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apperent reason, copy this to your profile.

-Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

-If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile.

-There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

-You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.

-If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

-Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

-If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

-If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Harry Potter, Twilight, Vampire Academy, Hush Hush, The Immortals, The Hunger Games, etc), copy and paste this into your profile!

-If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you like fire and fireworks and explosions and things that go boom, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever wanted an inanimate object to go die copy and paste this into your profile.

-Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

-If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your dhampir boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.

-If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If when you're angry most of your vocabulary consists of 'Fuck', 'Shit', 'Motherfucker' or any other colorful words your twisted mind can come up with, post it to your profile.

-If you have inside jokes... with yourself... copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you love to sit at your computer all day, doing timewasting things, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you spend 10 hours on Fanfiction each day, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you think Jacob should just stay a friend and have a happy ending copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If whenever you see or hear the brand "Volvo" you freak out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you truly believe there is an Edward Cullen (his name doesn't have to be Edward Cullen) out there for you, put this on your profile.

-If you enjoy reading the and copying the "copy and pastes" from other people's profiles to your own, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you are a computer addict, copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS

-If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If your profile is (somewhat) long, copy this to make it longer.

-"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

-If you have a thing for pasting things on your profile, paste this on your profile

-If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.

-If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

-If you have ever yelled at and/or slapped an inanimate object from anger, paste this on your profile.

-If you have a profile, paste this on your profile

-If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

-If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

-"HELP I'VE FALLEN AND...hey nice carpet!!"
If you found that amusing, paste it into your profile

-If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

-If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile.

-Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

-If you are in love with any of the Cullens (men or women) then copy and paste this into your profile.

-If your on Team Edward copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

-Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

-If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

-If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy this into your profile.

-If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

-If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you think Edward Cullen can be an arrogant jerk but also a gentleman ... AT THE SAME TIME! Copy and paste this on your profile. (Really weird that he CAN do that!)

-If Dimitri Belikov is the hottest guy on earth, copy this into your profile.

-If Edward Cullen is the hottest vampire on earth, copy this into your profile.

READ VAMPIRE ACADEMY OR I'LL PROVOKE THE STRIGOI AND BLAME YOU!

Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.

Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken...

I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what someone would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Tell the truth and run.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Don't mess with me I've got a stick and I have nowhere to put it!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do? kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

I walk in the rain,
So no one sees me crying.

You say Romeo and Juliet,
I say Dimka and Rose
You say Werewolves,
I say Vampires
You say you're creepy,
I say I know! :)

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell, I WANT DEMITRI BELIKOV!!

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

There is no I in team but the is an I in PIE and there is an PIE in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Come to the dark side. We have DIMITRI!

YOU CALL ME A BITCH. A BITCH IS A FEMALE DOG,DOG BARK, BARK IS ON TREES, TREES ARE IN NATURE AND NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL SO THANKE FOR THE COMPLIMENT:P

“I am sick of people having a near deathexperienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!”

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought.

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

My prince doesn't wear shiny armour.
My prince doesn't sparkle either.
My prince is death in a cowboy duster. ;)

Sometimes you just have to smile and walk away...hold your tears in and pretend you are okay.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you?"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you."

"If at first you don't success, redefine success."

F.I.N.A.L.S-Fuck, I never actually learned this shit.

"Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge."

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

"It's just AMAZING! You're completely wrong again!"

"Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!"

That which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast.

"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."

I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit)

"Bravo. You really know how to make an ass out of yourself."

"One night I was lying awake when I asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' Then a voice answered 'this is going to take more then one night.'"

"If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic."

"You, off my planet."

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’ll wager it’s hard to pronounce.”

"Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous."

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

If you die, I'll kill you!

A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Don't steal, the government hates competition.

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.

"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"

"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge".

"I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary."

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.

"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect!"

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

homework is killing trees, stop the madness!

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."

Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.

"I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet."

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said ... Alright... you're ugly too!

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.

Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!

We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.

How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot of his/her head!

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into school.

Evil beware, we have waffles.

"Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius, or a creep?" "You're a creepy genius."

"Did you study for today's test?" "You bet. Ask me anything you want about history-" "Uh, that's great, but the test is in math."

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

What doesn't kill you, only puts you in the hospital for a few weeks!

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.

I'm gonna survive even if it kills me.

If first you don’t succeed… maybe losing is your style.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Make yourself at home ...clean my kitchen.

The silent ones are always the deadliest.

I’ll be dead before I die.

Stupid words! Where are they when you need them?!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

You say Pink
I say Black
You say Hollister
I say Hot Topic
You say Jonas Brothers
I say Fall Out Boy
You say prep
I say me myself and i
You say Hannah Montanna
I say Evanesence
You say Superman
I say Edward Cullen
You say I'm a freak
I say Thanks.

I don't run on COFFEE...I run on MUSIC

You wanna be Romeo and Juliet? Okay then. You and your boyfriend can go commit suicide together.

Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem! Don't do it!!!

If your not living on the edge, your taking up too much space!

Don’t mess with me, I know kung-fu, karate and 47 other dangerous words.

She's got him falling head over heels for her and I can't even get him to stumble...

Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine.
Why do I have tears in my eyes today
when he was NEVER mine?

If You Really Love Something Set It Free.
If It Comes Back It's Yours, If Not It Wasn't Meant To Be.

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away...

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.

"I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed a train.
To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.
To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.

You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

I got kicked out of the bookshop once for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section.

If vodka was water and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up. But vodka's not water and I'm not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the fuck up.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

6 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH CHILDREN AND WHY THEY ARE CONSIDERED DIABOLICAL

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

"They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, sheasked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the sink. She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of whitehair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Whyare some of your hairs white, Momma?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said, Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

6. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Five Resons Why Bella's an Idiot:

1. She jumped off a cliff and didn't die.

2. She didn't kill Jacob for imprinting on Nessie.

3. What regular person uses the word irrevocably?

4. She can't win an argument with Edward unless its about sex.

5. She's a freaking spaz. (Yep)

Repost if you agree to at least three statements.