BigScaryMonster
 Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter. HEllo guys. The Earth looks great from outa space. and the reception is awesome. luv ya. To those who dont know me, i know you. Mwaahhhhhaaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa (its an alien joke) Anyway for those who are curious (i know there isnt many) these are my... Favourite Earthling Books Harry Potter, Eragon (inheritance cycle), Gone series, R.L.Stine books, Percy Jackson , The Red Pyramid, The Lost Hero, Emily Windsnap, Witch and Wizard, Circle of Magic Not Favourite Earthling Books I absolutely hate TWIGHLIGHT books., and the movies too, they are CRAP Favourite Movies Vampires Suck, (twilight parody), Pirates of the Carribean, Barbie (i know im a little old for it but one can still dream) Winnie the Pooh Favourite TV shows Blues Clues, Prank Patrol, Merlin Vampire Diaries, Pretty Little Liars I am in love with percy jackson. move outa the way annebeth & rachel, HES MINE. although in the movies he is a zac effron lookalike. anyways gotta go my fish just drowned. IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsors! :D:D:D:D:D 11 Ways to use Harry Potter to Annoy a Twilight fan 1. Steal their copy of Twilight and replace it with one of your Harry Potter books in a Twilight dust jacket. 2. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because the Twilight movies got him after the Harry Potter movies were finished with him. 3. List other "hand-me-downs" from the books, like the last names of Black and Clearwater... 4. State that you think Edward would be hotter if he had a lightning scar on his forehead. 5. "Accidentally" call Edward, Sanguini. 6. Explain in detail how any wizard can possess all the gifts (seeing the future, reading minds, etc.), that a vampire would only have one of. 7. Whenever they mention Jacob Black, innocently ask if they meant Stubby Boardman. 8. Say that Bella and Filch would make a cute couple. 9. Flinch whenever they say "Edward" and tell them to say "You-Know-Who." 10. Whenever they describe the vampires of the Twilight series (sparkly skin, no fangs, etc.), contradict them, and tell them what "real" vampires, out of Harry Potter, are like. 11. Explain how Twilight werewolves are really Animagi, and ask whether they've registered with the Ministry. 1. Why is Billy Black driving? He's in a wheel chair. 2. Do you see Emmett in the cafeteria eating or is it just me? 3. Ever notice that when the Cullen's are in the cafeteria, Jasper always looks at Bella first? 4. Why do they all stand next to their 'significant' others? It's a bit weird. 5. How come Bella and Edward can't leave in the baseball scene because there is not enough time? What a lie. He could have raced her back home before the Nomads came. 6. Why is Edward in slow motion? ROFL. (In both movies, he's in slow mo. lol.) 7. People who haven't read the books (crazy right?) are probably wondering... "When the hell did Jasper get a power?" You can't just make a movie and expect people to understand. Nothing was explained. Not everyone has read the books. smacks the director 8. I wonder what people were thinking when they heard "La tua cantante" in the movie. If they haven't read the books, they were all kinds of confused. Nobody thought about that. 9. In the elevator scene, Bella and Alice are trying there hardest not to laugh. It's pretty darn funny. Actors aren't perfect, guys. 10. The Vampire in Italy who brings in the humans as a meal (Heidi?), she gets one tiny line and you barely even see her. Yet she was all over TV and magazines because she's in the movie. Hm...showing her for all of five seconds didn't leave me wanting more. I could have done without. 11. Well we all seen Bella punch a werewolf in New Moon and thats how "the bat comes out of the bag" lol... but that part doesn't happen until Eclipse (in the book) and she hits Jacob. It was one of my favorite parts and now it won't happen in the movie. 12. Don't know about you but I'm pretty sure Vampire's aren't supposed to change. How many scenes in Twilight can you make Jasper's hair differently? And then when New Moon came out, it was vene more bonkers. And now with the Eclipse trailer... have you seen his hair? (Somebody needs a new hair and make up team) ?I'm Team ANTI_EDWARD CULLEN If you do NOT like Edward Cullen and think he's ugly, copy this to your profile Funny Anti-twilight things: Sorry if you find them offensive but i find them pretty damn funny:) No, No, I won't kill the twilight fans, I would throw an Edward doll between them and watch them fight to the death! When people used to say, "Vampire" people thought of Dracula or Lestat. Now when people say 'Vampire', all people think is:"OMG! Edward Cullen!" I would like to LaPush every character of a cliff and stab them with Forks. Vampires don't sparkle in the sun, THEY BURN!!! 95% of teenagers would cry if they saw Edward cullen at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. I'm part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn yelling"DO A FLIP!" Want know what I don't get about all the crazed twilight girls who want to bang edward? In real life, men who sparkle are just not that into girls. Reading Twilight is like taking a Cruciatus Curse to the brain." "Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity...Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend" - Andrew Futral. This is so true it is not funny I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom,rainbowstrike, iKate, fangalicous08, Armygirl0604, BigScaryMonster How to reject a man Man: Where have you been all my life? This is a thing about racism that is SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wrong The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... I will not think about guys. I will not think about guys. I will not think abo- whoa! A hot guy! When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it. Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much. The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas... It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed." Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. Smile. It confuses people. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." "You say tomato...I say fuck you." Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow. If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable. Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will. Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some people are like slinkys. Completely useless, but fun to kick down the stairs. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Yeah! I love wearing straight jackets, too! I get to hug myself! Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing. It's funny till someone get's hurt, the it's freakin hilarious! I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Love me or hate me. Personally, I could care less. Promises mean everything, but once they're broken, "I'm sorry" means nothing. Joe: Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith... There is no shame in not knowing. The shame lies in not finding out. "You don't look well." He pronounced. "Indigestion." I replied. "From what?" "Reality." My imaginary friend thinks you have some real problems. I am getting sick and tired of slitting the throats of the people who say I'm a violent psychopath! OMG! The rain's wet! Life is a job. Death is the Lord's way of saying, "You're fired." Suicide is human's way of saying, "I quit." Immortality means, "I like my job." My thermometer is sick! Get the thermometer…oh wait… Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the first one. If your going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty. I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of the ninja's that hide in the dark. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be? The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. "I called your boyfriend gay and then he hit me with his purse." You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch. I'm not the girl your mom warned you about. Her imagination was never this good. If it weren't for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable! They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. I know. I've tried it. Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver. Beware the flying donkey, falling from the sky. You can choose the way you live my friend but not the way you die! Don't aggravate me, I'm running out of places to put the body's. Don't be so humble. Your not that great. You’re a good friend, but if the zombies come, I'm tripping you. Can't stand me? Then sit down. You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change, and things go wrong, but just remember: life goes on. What's this thing you call "normal"? Is it contagious? OMG! Don't touch me! I might catch your "normal"! For the millionth time! I can't go to Hell, they have a restraining order against me! I want a man that when I come running up to him with tears streaming down my face, the first thing he says is, "Baby, whose ass do I have to kick?" This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers. It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck. A day without sunshine is like... night. A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?" A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water! Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!! Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station... If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Scientist should be answering these questions If olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from? Random Useless Facts Earth is not round. It is an ellipse. WTF Sharks are the largest fish in the world. They do not have bones in their body. Their entire skeletal structure is actually made of cartilage (the same stuff that human ears and noses are made of). Thomas Edison did not invent the lightbulb. He bought the patent from Henry Woodward, a Canadian. (This is a true fact, isnt it ) Basketball, one of the “All-American” sports was actually invented by a Canadian. Chewing gum helps stimulate the brain and score better in tests. Apart from people with 100% African backgrounds we are all anywhere from 1-4% Neanderthal. This means in the span of time of after leaving Africa but before spreading over the globe our ancestors interbred between homo neanderthalis and cro magnons. Only two females in a tribe of 100 would have needed to have (for lack of a better word) “mixed” babies in order for this percentage to exist. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. (It was hilarious) Albert Einstein flunked Math. His Math teacher told him he was an idiot and would never amount to anything. (thomas Edison was basically the same) The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. The word alphabet comes from the first two Greek letters, alpha and beta. ( i never new that) Scrat (from Ice Age) gets his name due to the fact he is part squirrel and part rat. ( you have to be dumb not to know) The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries Up until the 11th century the word ‘she’ did not exist in the English language. The word used to describe a female was the same as ‘it’. ( Offensive) The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before. Ireland means “land of the Irish”. Scotland means ”land of the Scottish”. England means “land of the Angles”. The Angles were one of the two main Germanic tribes to take over after the fall of the Roman Empire (the other tribe being the Saxons). An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (dumb creatures) Owls can’t move their eyes. Their eyballs don’t have the muscles to move around. That’s why they move their heads so much. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in WW II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. (but i love elephants, how mean) An average healthy person has enough iron in their blood to make a whole nail. “Torchwood” is an anagram of “Doctor Who”. Having five fingers is a recessive trait. Having six is dominant. Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump." The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it. The Canadian 1 Dollar coin (aka the Loonie) was originally meant to have a fur trader on a canoe on the tails side. On the day of the mint the design was lost and they used the back-up, a loon, instead. Proof of alien life has been found on Mars. It’s not big, but it is multicellular. “Hello” was not used as a greeting until the telephone came in use. Before then the way to greet someone was “good day”. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why. (or they do know why, they are just not telling ud) Orcas, more commonly known as killer whales, are not whales. They’re dolphins. A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. Actual Labels Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."-(Beverages WOOO!!) Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" (Are you sure?) Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances." Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children." Dog food-"new and improved tasting", (who tests it?) Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yummy...) Sleeping pills-"Warning: may cause drowsiness" (Cause that's not the desired effect..) Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" (Why did I buy it again?) Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.) RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe." (Really?) Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." (Gasp!) Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping" (But thats the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regular soap" (And that would be how?) Some Swann frozen dinners-"Serving suggestion: Defrost" (But it's just a suggestion.) Tesco's dessert (printed on bottom of the box)-"Do not turn upside down" (Too late! you lose!) Marks and Spencer Bread pudding: "Warning: product may be hot after heating." (Wow, I would have never guessed!) Rowena iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't that save more time?) Boots children's cough medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinery." (We could do a lot to reduce construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year old off of fork lifts.) Korean kitchen knife: "Keep out of children." (NO dip) Christmas lights; "For indoor and outdoor use only." (As opposed to, you know, outer space.) Food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now I'm curious...) Sainsbury's peanuts:"Warning: may contain nuts." (But no peas?) American Airlines package of peanuts; "Instructions: open packet. Eat nuts." (Someone got paid big bucks to write this one...) Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands." (Ok, raise your hand if you've tried this.) This is a poem, its kinda sad :( so copy and paste and spread the word around My name is Jay, I am but three, My eyes are swollen, I cannot see, I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made my daddy so mad? I wish I were better, I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong, I can’t speak at all Or else im locked up all day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark, my folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get one whipping tonight. I just heard a car; my daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse, my name is called I press myself against the wall I try to hide from his evil eyes I’m so afraid now; I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping, calls me ugly words, He says its my fault that he suffers at work. He slaps and hits me and yells at me more, I finally get free and run to the door He’s already locked it and I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me against the hard wall I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream, but its now much to late His face has been twisted into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops and heads for the door While I lay there motionless brawled on the floor My name is Jay, I am but three, Tonight my daddy murdered me And you can help, sickens me top the soul, and if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness. Because you would have to be one heartless person to not be effected by this Poem and because you are effected, do something about it! So all I ask you to do is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE 10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL 10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks 9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies 8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly 7. Our magazines have horoscopes 6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around 5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm 4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month 3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have 2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket 1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D If you are hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you are against animal cruelty, (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, illegal dog fights, chimp slavery, etc.) copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night! :D) If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugarhigh, copy onto profile. If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. ( ive seen myself, its freaky) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. (WTF are they) If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict. Paste this in your profile if you have ever seen a ghost or something supernatural. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.(DIE PEOPLE DIE) If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you KNOW the voice in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. 99.8 of anime fans are obsessing over Naruto. If you are the last few of the clan who can think up three better animes than this, paste this on your profile. (alchemist, onepiece, darren shan ) If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction,copy and paste this into your profile. If you absolutely and without a doubt HATE and DESPISE flamers (or think they're stupid,among other insulting things)copy and paste! If you think that there should be a 'Report flame' button thing to report flamers,copy and paste! If you have ever walked into a room, and forgot what you were doing, then started walking away, and suddenly remembered, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, or were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. ALWAYS! If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you think that those stupid kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. Life is not about waiting out the storms. Its about learning to dance in the rain. If you agree, copy this to your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile. If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this to your profile. If you love to read, Copy and paste into your profile. If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both ... copy and paste this on you're profile. Many teens are involved in drugs, alcohol, and graffiti. Put this in your profile if you like bagels. If you have your own little world, copy this into your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile If you've ever walked into a wall that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you have ever had a song stuck in your head for more than three weeks, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you get way too excited for books to come out, copy this into your profile If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever created a copy-and-paste thing, copy THIS into your profile! If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy this into your profile If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love random copy and paste quotes, copy and paste this on your profile! If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer. If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever thrown something at a TV screen when you saw a character you despised, copy and paste this on your profile If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever wondered who made up all the 'copy & paste this into your profile' thingies, copy & paste this into your profile! If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you should be doing homework right now... copy and paste this into your profile. If you have no idea why someone started these copy and paste quotes...copy and paste this on you're profile profiwowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson:-) If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, (it's so fun! :-) ) copy this into your profile. If you love /stupid/funny/insperational or meaningful Quotes, copy this to your profile. If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile. If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile. I really do... If you think duck tape is a force of nature, copy this into your profile. If you are in love with meatball subs, copy this into you profile. If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile. If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. If you force your friends to read books you like, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a good vocabulary, but cannot spell to save your life, then copy and paste this. If you have EVER been so obsessed with a song you actually A.) dream about it, B.) sing it in school no matter who's listening OR C.) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy this in your profile. If you are someone who begs to differ from the crowd, copy this and paste it into your profile. If you like to randomly spout off a quote by some random person, copy this to your profile. If you only copy and paste stuff when you actually do the stuff it says, copy and paste this into your profile. If you were ever leaning against a door and it opened and you fell, copy and paste this to your profile. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're the type of person who'd get REALLY hyper and het up if you find one review on reader traffic. If you believe RACISM IS WRONg, copy and paste this onto your profile... If you are deeply against abortion and the killing of unborn children, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony... If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in your profile. If you like to copy and paste thing to your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If you don’t stand for anything, you don’t stand for anything!--George W. Bush Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' What's another word for thesaurus? Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Help, I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet! It's soo pretty! Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? You've learned!! Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Where did it go?? Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. The cops never find it as funny as you do. Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional Looking for the perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie. Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if its your last day You know you live in 2008 when . . . 1.) You accidently enter your password on a microwave 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of getting up and just pushing the button on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even know that you have the ability to do your job 7.) As you keep reading this list you keep nodding and smiling 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all of your friends 9.) You were to busy to notice #5 and #3 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5 and 3 12.) Now your thinking "I have to put this in my profile!" 13.) You put this in your profile because you fell for it and you know you did! 15 Things to do when you're in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when someone comes up yell, "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go" 7 Ways to scare your roommates 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you’re hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." This story is so sad. If it doesn't touch your heart at least a little, you must be made of stone. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me." "I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or i just deleted number two so you have to repost it What to do in a Elevator 1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker" 2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!" 3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly. 5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down. 7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 11) Meow occasionally. 12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?" 18) Say "Ding!" at each floor. 19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?" Ways to Annoy people at the cinema: Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses. Clap when the good guy gets killed. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. Yell out what is going to happen. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...) Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. Try to start a wave. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" Sing with the theme music. Bring and use your own air freshener. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!" Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat" Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes. Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end You know you live in 2010 when . . . 1.) You accidently enter your password on a microwave 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of getting up and just pushing the button on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even know that you have the ability to do your job 7.) As you keep reading this list you keep nodding and smiling 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all of your friends 9.) You were to busy to notice #5 and #3 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5 and 3 12.) Now your thinking "I have to put this in my profile!" 13.) You put this in your profile because you fell for it and you know you did! YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. Guitar Hero/Rock Band rule! You go to your dad for advice. Talk with food in your mouth. ( i talk underwater) Total:22 YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. You consider cheerleading a sport. Total: 4 This is sad, i am more like a boy when im a girl, i call a retest. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will give you their umbralle when it is raining FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this The six truths of life 1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue. 2. You just tried to do the above. 3. The first truth is a lie. 4. You're smiling now because you're realizing you're an idiot. 5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it. 6. There's still a stupid smile on your face 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (Don’t cheat--) 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you Love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are Down. 3. If you’re initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to Blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you Fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but The memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life Changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your Soul mate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do Anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... 9. If you choose... 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday! This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that apply to you! 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails 5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind. My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of 3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the 5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" 9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't 15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that 18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me." 20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more." 25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" The key to getting your mother to shut up!! IT'S BEEN SOLVED!! Here it is: Roses are red, Things Learned From Percy Jackson 1. When in doubt, find the dam snack bar-The Titans Curse Ways to know you are obsessed with PJO: When its thundering, you wonder what Zeus is mad about. you read all of Demigod Files the night it came out. You have read the preview of the last olympian at least five times. You think you are a demigod when you get a sunburn, you blame Apollo you have actually sworn on the river Styx you have tried to explain greek mythology to small children. you have corrected your social studies teacher during a unit on ancient greece. you blame Hermes when your computer crashes you will never go to Canada because you don't want to be eaten by Laistrygonians. you say things like " oh my gods" or "go to tartarus" You think you know who your olympian parent is. Let's flip a coin: Heads, Percy and I will be together. Tails, we'll flip again. If you're obsessed with PJO like me, copy this into your profile. YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS WHEN: The Percy Jackson pledge: ／l、 Yaaay Kitty!! This is Kitty. Please copy and paste Kitty into your (O.o ) This is Bunny. Help these inch-worms inch their way into everyone's profile! ~~~~~~~~~~ Copy this into your profile. / (\_/) PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE ╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this on your profile this is this cat this is is cat this is how cat this is to cat this is keep cat this is a cat this is retard cat this is busy cat this is for cat this is forty cat this is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on. k for the peeps who read my home page through- GET A LIFE. jk, i mean Luv ya 4 doin that. |
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