My Chemical Romance 2001-forever.

New Jersey legends.

hey ya'll, i'm emma and i'm a 20 year old loser from portland, just tryin' to finish undergrad and become a screenwriter

1/20/18

woo so did everyone survive last year?

it's funny re-reading these bio updates on here, like god, the second-hand embarrassment is... a lot, but like, ya know character growth... i'm keeping them up because they're like, silly weird diary updates and it's kinda fun to look back on who i was or trying to be, it's wild.

and those playlists? so basic, oh my goddd.

anyways i goes i'm just here with another update, not that anyone reads these but like, future me in like a year lmao... i'm in my second year of undergrad, spring sem and i'm in some pretty awesome classes like screenwriting (where in which i'm writing a gay high school drama featuring dracula's twink goth son, van helsing's jock babe son, vlogging, and an apocalypse that takes place during senior prom a la buffy style) and my gender and education class. i'm still very involved in the lgbt group on campus, it's been an honest to god godsend, and i spend my time watching true crime documentaries, trying not to kill my roommate, and daydreaming about writing again hmmm.

um, some like fanfic update stuff, i haven't written shit so i'm not gonna sit here and write well-intended lies to myself, but i'd like to try writing again... who knows maybe it'll help to get all those creative juices flowing... but fandom taste wise, let's see...

i'd love to continue to write percabeth but i just don't know if i'll actually pull that off, but probably? god who knows... um, i'm still a total slut for buffy and that wonderful gang of lesbians (tara, willow, faith, anya, cordelia, the whole gang ya know)... i still love my son scott mccall but i doubt i'll be writing any teen wolf anytime soon... i LOVE dirk gently and all of the characters and pairing are just so good, but dirk/todd and amanda/farah are my babies... i'm still a massive star trek ho aka i would die for spirk... i think that's pretty much it, there's a lot of other fandoms i dabble in of course, but like let's be real those have always been the Best.

i hope ya'll have been not just surviving but thriving and feel free to hmu on my still active tumblrs, ghostemo (the main) and yesterdya (fandom) ttyl x

3/20/16

its been a while since i last updated this and honestly you all can thank teen wolf lmao I've like powered through the entire series in like the last month and have flung myself head first into teen wolf fandom bullshit and declared myself a card carrying member of the scott mccall defense squad--honestly i just love my brown bi son so much and the fandom shits on him so much and my god the fucking shit he dealt with in this last season w/ him *spoilers* dying and then having everyone be like "well, that sucks scott lmao but its time to put on ur alpha pants and fix everyone else's problems bc no one has time to let you actually rest or heal or come to terms w the fact that u were just brutally murdered" and then fuck boy stilinski over here blaming scott for his dad getting hurt while scott was FUCKING DEAD and then that "you'll heal line" ????? i'm ready to throw down--and mama mccall running off to help the sheriff instead of staying w her son who just DIED and leaving him to faint due to lack of blood loss???? she would honeslt never

basically when is isaac coming back so he and kira can just love and take care of my son, or fuck maybe have isaac come back and have him take kira and scott away from beacon hills and let everyone else deal w their own problems -- they should take lydia w them too tho -- and malia -- and MASON

So yeah it's probs the last thing u guys wanna hear is me flinging my lifeless corpse into scott mccall's smile aka the sun but i'm working on pjo stuff i promise and as a fun little plot twist i've been rewriting KLSR that's right u heard me um the only issue is that i can't get FF to actually upload my writing so i've been making plans about just switching over to ao3 as a new account and just posting the new stuff and rewrites there -- if i can find a way to post to this website still i'll keep things updated but ngl i spend most of my time browsing ao3 anyways

i'll keep u guys posted on the final decision on that

xx

12/20/15

Whoo boy o boy are u guys lucky !!!!!! So i'm !!!!finally!!!! on winter break and i'm super pumped, i've been doing more pintrest-y stuff which is a good time and i finally got around to reading that nummy little chapter sneak peak for uncle rick's new series toa and honestly all i care about is my soft son, percy. Yes, you heard me, my ever faithful readers, i've sunk back into pjo hell faster than i thought was possible im a mess. i've spent the past two days filling up my side tumblr blog with all kinds of pjo goodness--mainly me crying over dark!percy slytherin!percy and piper/annabeth/reyna all being goddesses. i'm weak, weak i say!!!

the only problem with my useless corpse being flung back into the world of demigods is the fact that i was like, balls deep in dcmk world with all kinds of plans and dreams and now all i can think about is writing pjo???? like, since most of my readers are pjo fans it works out for you guys but like im so... i dunno because i have plans and i really wanna write these stories and do more pjo...

anyways, i dunno when i'll deal with sofm, i will, but i just have a mighty need for some gay pjo times

(i also just started season 8 of the x files and im a little confused)

12/12/15

Pintrest !! Hey so while i'm working on my writing (stuff for PJO, stuff for BTVS and stuff for DCMK) i started up a pintrest account. why is this significant you ask? well, i used to have an account, full of dumb diy things and future wedding bullshit and i was into for a week before all the white moms took it over yada yada yada however i started up again, this time building character/tv show aesthetics. So if ya'll like to check em out, i have a lot, ones about characters from PJO, Harry Potter, Buffy, DCMK and a bunch of other stuff my user name is emmalew182pdx under e lew anyways check it out of you want !!

(also in case if anyone was wondering, i'm about half way through season 7 of the x files)

11/22/15

Y I K E S ! So do i suck or fukking what? My god, have I lost track of time, so guess here's a quick recap on my senior year so far:

-dyed my hair teal

-spends pretty much all my spare time trying to watch all of the x files (including the movies) by Jan. 24 (I've just started season 5, yea 5 seasons in three months, I'm pretty proud ngl)

-I drink copious amounts of hot coco (and if it's my Theory of Knowledge class, TOK, you better believe that shit is spiked w/ peppermint schnapps. god i'm an alcoholic)

-I'm now an alcoholic cheers!

-I'm Bernie Sanders AF

-my grandma is funding my first tattoo so that's p rad

And that's pretty much been my senior year so far. Writing wise, I just haven't had much time, I've got a few ideas buzzing around but I just haven't had the time (school, the x files, work, all that good, time consuming stuff) or the energy but as my writing teacher keeps telling us: " you can't just wait around for inspiration to hit--you have to force yourself to write and write and write some more" and I'm working on that. But I plan to continue with my WS rewrite, I've got this senior year PJO fic I'm going to write even if it kills me called Once More With Feeling and this Jasico fic that would be fun to write. I also really wanna write some BTVS stuff I have two ideas, one about Human!AU Angel dating both Spike and Buffy in secret and they meet and find out and it's all kinds of weird, awkward romantic comedy and another about Buffy and the other Slayers on a roller derby team w extra Spuffy goodness.

So yeah, hopefully I'll be getting my ass in gear this break (two more days, baby!) and I can have updates, plans and a first chapter or two up and ready to go. That's the goal. Wish me luck!

7/28/15

I passed my driving test today and tomorrow I will be going out of the country for two weeks without my phone, laptop, or wifi so, all stories and writing is on hold, sorry guys, I meant to have Secrets of the Moon chapter 3 up before but I fell behind in schedule, I'll definitely try and have it up sometime mid/late august, along with a few other things, hopefully (look for some ShinKai from DC/MK and post Jurassic World PTSD family fun!)

(6/13/15)

Just a warning, i'm deleting lots of stories and when my rewritten stories are ready, i'll post them seperately

(6/12/15)

SUMMER TIME BABY i've finally finished my junior year of high school halle-freakin-lujah! let me tell you, it was not easy getting through it with my grades intact. IB lit gave me a run for my money for fucking sure but in the end i managed a B! (which is a 68% and above--yeah). The goals this summer include rereading the Harry Potter series, start a band, watch every high school movie ever with the bestie (tho this goal extends through my senior year, deadline is the last day) and of course WRITE WRITE WRITE

So my plan is to rewrite Whispering Secrets and possibly Kisses Like Summer Rain and maaaaayyyyyyybe Siren Lake (though i wouldn't rewrite that one, just continue--or actually who knows anymore?????) while i try to get my writing juices flowing, honestly writing fanfic was so much easier when i was only in one fandom hardcore and a few others when i was bored, now I'm in so many and there's so many stories i wanna write for stuff like TVD, Buffy, Harry Potter, Once, and like the Teen Titans??? The Avengers???? ya busy busy

But i figure that the only way I'm gonna actually start writing is not by sudden lack of writers block but by forcing myself to write and write some more

I can't promise ANYTHING but like, harass me guys, honestly i'll probably never come back without motivation and motivation is something I've been lacking since freshman year tbh. (please be kind in your harassment though--i won't write out of spite if you're dicks, u rotten kids, u)

message me on tumblr @ ghostemo . tumblr . com or message me here its up to you

OH AND CHECK OUT THE FIC REC PAGE ON yesterdya . tumblr . com it's coming along quite nicely and has a very broad scope of fandoms so if you like the stuff i listed above, PJO (duh), the hunger games, the breakfast club, the x files, twin peaks, and other oddities hmu

i'm trying ya'll, don't keep ur fingers crossed but feel free to come bug me and shit

AND FEEL FREE TO COME GIVE IDEAS TOO GUYS you never know what just might spark the writing bug ;)

ideas for my currently written stories, stories you'd want to see me write (that is if they fall under my fandoms/ships/characters lmao), or just little prompts

u guys r too real for putting up with my crap when i haven't updated shit in like 70 years #yikes

the real mvps

love, your wayward fanfic author

(5/14/15)

do i suck or what??? the urge to write is strong, but if anything is going to get written/posted it will probs be over the summer--and even then don't get ur hopes up, man, i've got so much going on, missions trips, college visits, concerts, driving classes, sat prep classes, ect.

!!!!!!!!BLURRYFACE!!!!!!!

(12/23/14)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE!! ! hahah so remember my list of "FICS THAT WILL BE" ??? Well that crashed and burned and the only ones I might pick up again are the two PJO ones (I know exciting) a different TVD, possibly a OUAT, and a BTVS (Spuffy baby)--and maybe maybe a Everthorne but eh, I've really got to stop making promises I can't keep. Anyways... I love you guys and I'm making a New Years Resolution to actually do SOMETHING because I need to write again guys and I really miss it and I look forward to reconnecting with old readers and meeting new ones!

Have a great Holiday season and break and stay safe guys!

(11/10/14)

Just because I keep getting asked this... here is a list of my favorites of favorites otps (in no order and always growing lmao):

(8/16/14)

Is Aug 16 Percy's birthday? or is it the 18th? God I'm a horrible fan.. anyways, this little update is just to say, hey, i'm back from my trip and to share a little playlist i made with you guys, because i love making playlists and i hope you guys like it!

i'm in lesbians with you:

angels // the xx

wasted daylight // stars

laughter lines // bastille

sweater weather // the neighborhood

fallingforyou // the 1975

just like heaven // the cure

i will follow you into the dark // death cab for cutie

if you like it or not // the brobecks

505 // arctic monkeys

summertime // my chemical romance

when you were young // the killers

no one's gonna love you // band of horses

rivers and roads // the head and the heart

i wanna be yours // arctic monkeys

stuck on you // new politics

such great heights // iron and wine

only in dreams // weezer

peach // the front bottoms

i don't mind // defeater

love at first sight // the brobecks

first day of my life // bright eyes

the end of all things // panic! at the disco

(7/31/14)

Another profile update in the same month??? Jesus H. Christ if only these were fics... am I right? Hahaha ah yeah we can all hate me later. But here I am with quite the update, but first and foremost the very exciting Fanfic Rec website is finally back on track--it's not as good nor are there as many fics but I'm working on that BUT THE POINT IS is that it's back and it doesn't make me want to cry anymore so huzzah!!

Secondly, drum roll please!!!

I'm giving you the official (sort of) list of fics-to-be here on thnkxfrthmmrs fanction account. Yes you heard me, actual fics. Not just floating ideas that piss me off and hundreds and hundreds of Chapter 1s. AND HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!

(Fandom: TVD): Currently Untitled:

SUM: Elena is once again the new girl, but there's no real glamor when you're the boring version of your twin sister. OR Elena deals with shadows, rumors, boys who smoke, boys who are vegan, and girls who will rip you to pieces on a good day. And then there's Katherine.

(Fandom: PJO): It Is The East, And You Are The Sun:

SUM: Nico finally has a chance at landing the lead in the spring play, Romeo and Juliet... and coming to terms with the fact that his best friend will never love him back. Jason has to direct the show while juggling a distant girlfriend, sports, parents, academics... and apparently his sexuality.

(Fandom: OUAT): Currently Untitled:

SUM: Emma is ready for her senior year, ready to move on from Neal and his cheating ass, ready to party, taste a little freedom and booze, hang with friends, reinvent herself and maybe get to know Graham Humbert a little better--at least his dick anyways. That is until the new guy with the fucking cute accent shows up.

(Fandom: TVD): Forever Halloween

: SUM: After the death of Elena's best friend: her mother, she decides: fuck it. She packs a bag full of clothes and cash and steals away into the next, catching the first train she can. It's that act of rebellion, that train ride through the US that will change her life.

(Fandom: PJO): Whispering Secrets

: SUM: 110 years ago the great prophecy was given. 115 years ago a favored son of Poseidon was born. 100 years ago he disappeared. Now 100 years later a new generation is getting ready to fight. But when a new camper shows up, everyone is left wondering, who is he? (REWRITE SUCKAS)

SO MANY HIGH SCHOOL COMING OF AGE STORIES WHO'S SURPRISED BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN'T BE!!

But seriously, the reason this is the (sort of) official list is because A) Not all the stories even have names, uh hello?? and B) Because I'm really feeling a Everthorne/Hunger Games story, but I don't know what it's going to be about, so I'll get on that later. Another part of this is any one-shots and stuff can and probably will happen, but they're not FIC fics ya know?

Anyways... this is my gift to you guys, actual things are actually happening. It's actually cray. Actually.

So I'm out of town without my laptop or my phone or wifi for the next two weeks, so don't expect this shit before school starts. I mean it's possible, but let's keep our expectations low shall we? I mean it is me we're talking about, so don't hold your breath for anything sooner.

Adios my dears, see you never.

(7/16/14)

Normally i don't update this early, but... my fucking fanfic-rec page I was all excited about? Yeah that? It fucking crashed and disappeared and now I have to start ALL over, collecting urls and fics, redoing hours and hours of work and I'm so fucking angry right now ugh. So on the off chance you actually see this and get all excited, you're gonna have to wait because I lost it all and I have to start over completely and I hate everything.

I'll let you guys know when it's back up.

Ugh.

(7/14/14)

Eeeeeeppp! Sorry I've basically abandoned you guys! I've been writing hella lots and then deleting even more. It's a sick and vicious cycle I'll tell you, and it's fucking kicking my ass. Ugh. BUT I've got big plans (ha, like that ever turns out well for me) for this Vampire Diaries story (Delena of course!) and I'm really feeling like rewriting Whispering Secrets so be on the lookout for that!! Again, not much in the form of PJO on the brain currently, lots of TVD and OUAT and maybe a little OITNB... Piper and Alex anyone?? That's where my writing direction is atm but my biggest issue is actually writing and updating and not just plotting and thinking and then taking a nap and forgetting. I suck.

Oh! If you guys go onto my fandom blog (yesterdya.tumblr.com) and click the little link that says FANFIC REC, you will be led to this beautifully organized, personally by moi, page filled with all my favorite fan fictions. It's fantastic. It's always being updated with new stuff and it's hella easy to search. Just type in the fandom or the ship you're looking for (check with my keywords to see if that's actually a fandom/ship I have fics on though. Yikes.) into the little search bar and BAM! all the fics that fall under the catagory of PERCABETH or PJO or TVD will show up! If you're looking for angst fics, just type in angst and WHAM! All the angst fics pop up! Looking for smut? Hell yeah I got you covered (there are some seriously delicious smut fics, thanks to the TVD fandom, hot damn). Looking for Vampire AUs? High school AUs? College AUs? Coffee Shop AUs? Teacher/Student? Bruh. I got you covered. Just type that shit in and enjoy all that comes up. It's brilliant and I love adding new stuff all the time. Another super great thing if you can't decide on a fic? Just type in FAV and look at all of my absolute favorite fanfics that pop up! Go crazy!

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!! You want a one shot? Or maybe a super long fic that's, you know, actually COMPLETE??? Dude. Bruh. Dude. I got you. It's fucking amazing and I'm really excited about it :) FUCK I'll even just give you guys the link!

Just copy and paste that sucker and get all access to all of the fics worth reading ;)

I'll also take suggestions! Have a fic that's not on the list? Just send it my way and if it so pleases me, I'll put it up, it's that easy!

Just call this number here: 1-800-Emma's-Fucking-Fic-Rec-Hallelujah and get your shipping free! FOREVER!!!!!!!

(4/5/14)

I still have no idea why i thought it would be a good idea to update you all on the status of my zits. Oh well. Updating here again, because I actually have something important to say. So i've been doing some thinking and I may or may not want to try and rewrite all of Whispering Secrets. Why? Because I reread it. And it's awful. But that story is SUPER important to me, it's my baby and it's still the first (and only) fic I've finished (even if there's an unfinished sequel). And if I were to, you know fix it, I'd be seriously rewriting it. Like the whole Twilight bit. That was a huge mistake. (Percy would still obviously be a werewolf). I'd fix up loopholes and other sloppy plot points. I'd actually add some depth to Ian (who will still be a piece of shit, but not some superficial middle school villain, no thanks). I'd fix the horrible things I did to Annabeth, Christ I fucked up her character so bad I want to cry. But this all depends on whether or not I actually do this and God and you all know how fickle my writing habits are. (God I'm sorry about it, really, it pisses me off more than you'll actually know, i have over 100 fics started on my computer that i trashed and gave up on and some of them were really fun and great and you guys would've loved them and i hate everything).

But onto other, less fic news and more of an update on my life...The fucking Vampire Diaries man. I have no idea what's going on anymore, but all I know is that Damon is my king and Delena better be fucking endgame or I don't even know what the point of this show is anymore tbh. Seriously though, did you guys watch the last episode? My baby Damon was fucking brilliant. Ugh I can't with him, I love him too much. But even more importantly BRAND NEW is having their first Portland show since they've been a band this summer and I'm going and I want to cry and then the day after the show I'm going to see PANIC! AT THE DISCO and I'll cry some more. I'm also going to see YOU ME AT SIX at the end of the month and WARPED TOUR is coming and I'll get to see BOWLING FOR SOUP and THE MAINE and REAL FRIENDS and NECK DEEP and a bunch of other pop punk bands I love. (Laughing) And the day before that my cousins and I are driving up to Seattle to see KISS and DEF LEPPARD. So yeah man concerts. Gotta love em. If only I could see ARCTIC MONKEYS and go to the FALL OUT BOY/PARAMORE/NEW POLITICS tour. Can't win them all I guess.

Bug me on tumblr, I love it when you guys do, it's great.

(1/21/14)

There's a large zit on my chin, I've been constantly switching between The Civil Wars, Arctic Monkeys, and the Frozen soundtrack to keep my head clear and full of ideas. I've read a book by Rainbow Rowell who has made me smile and enjoy an actual book for the first time in a long, aching while. Finished it tonight actually. Lovely thing. I have the highest marks in English than any of my other classes, discussing the meaning behind Shakespeare and comparing leader types and the flaws in humanity that is apparent in Jack and Ralph and Lord of the Flies. I'm playing a gig on saturday and Once Upon a Time has captured my full attention, sorry Percy, but I can't seem to write anything worthwhile. In the mean time, Thalia will be making a huge appearance in future writings, taking the spotlight for once, in terms of PJO. I'm on post limit as we speak (an hour and 15 minutes to go). I need a cigarette. I need to kiss someone. I need you guys to bug me on tumblr (trust me--it's the only way of communicating with me anymore) (yesterdya.tumblr.com). Siren Lake is in limbo. So is my new Jasico story. And several Captain Swan bits. I just need to write. And I need coffee. And I need to study for my chemistry and psych finals tomorrow. But I'm not. I'm laying here. On my computer. Updating my FF profile like you guys read this. While trying to get writing juices flowing.

I'm really tired and lonely.

Expect angst and smut.

(9/28/13)

EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THUS FAR IS ON HIATUS.I'm really sorry guys, but as of right now I need a new start on writing, a clean slate. I just... I need a change of scenery because the fact is, these stories are holding me down (not that they're THAT bad), but these are stories that I started when I was starting middle school, and now I'm in the middle of high school. My mentality has changed, who I am as a person has changed, who I am as an author has changed. I need to start over with my writing, to write stories that make me feel good NOW, stories that get me excited and pumped and ready to write and unfortunately I have an obligation to these stories that has made it so so so hard for me to write anything. I need to be able not to worry about these stories, so for the time being, they are all on hiatus.

However a few of the really recently posted ones might be updated, like once a year, whoops. Like Maybe We'll Make it After All, I'll probably update every once and a while, but don't get your hopes up, kids. I love you all and I hope you stick around for the second generation of my FanFiction account.

And what a better way to start off then, a new name?

Maybe We'll Make It After All Playlist:

1. Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

2. Asleep by The Smiths

3. Scene Two- Rodger Rabbit by Sleeping With Sirens

4. You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds by Mayday Parade (yes that is the real song title. Long, I know.)

5. Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park

6. Superman (It's Not Easy) by Five For Fighting

7. Angels by The xx

8. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

9. Bones (Acoustic) by Young Guns

10. Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade

11. I Can Wait Forever by Simple Plan

12. I Go To The Barn Because I Like the by Band of Horses (no, I didn't cut off the song title, that's how it ends. Don't ask me, I didn't write it)

13. When We Die by Bowling For Soup

14. All I Want by Kodaline

15. Thunder by Boys Like Girls

16. If It Means A Lot to You by A Day To Remember

17. Last Summer by Lostprophets

18. Miss Atomic Bomb by The Killers

19. Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's

20. Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey

21. Roads Untravelled by Linkin Park

22. Maybe We'll Make It After All by Stages and Steroes

23. I'm Lost Without You by blink-123

24. Crash by You Me At Six

25. Summertime by My Chemical Romance

26. How To Save A Life by The Fray

27. Adam's Song by blink-182

28. Goodnight Moon by Go Radio

29. Always by Panic At The Disco

30. Cancer by My Chemical Romance

31. 100 Suns by Thirty Seconds To Mars

32. Everything Will Be Alright by The Killers

33. Degausser by Brand New

34. Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy

35. Daydreaming by Paramore

36. Good Riddance by Green Day

37. Breathe by Angels and Airwaves

38. Jesus Christ by Brand New

39. There is a Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths

If you need someone, if you're lost, you need advice, a shoulder to cry on don't hesitate to contact me. PM or email, really, please do, I'd love to help you. Email is: emmalovesvanillanMCR@gmail.com

Because your life is important to me, to MCR, and to the MCR-my, if you are feeling suicidal:

SUICIDE HOTLINE (US, sorry): 1-800-273-8255. Talk to someone please.

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone I could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive, I won't know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
Cause my bright is to slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared, and I swear I'll try to nail you back up

So, do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try?

I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
Tongue tied to a hating factory

But we all got wood and nails
Your tortured (and hanging) factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
Your tortured (and hanging) factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

Jesus Christ by Brand New.

mess with me on tumblr: ghostemo.tumblr.com (personal) or yesterdya.tumblr.com (fandom/fanfics)

xo

emma