HELLO!!!!! I'm Da Mao-Blackjack!!! XD

Age: Very young

Location: My little world :D

Favourite game: Poptropica and BRIDGE

Favourite song: YG FAMILY SONGS xDDDDD (and others... :P)

Favourite book: Too many to name but a couple of very good ones are Thomasina, Omen of the stars: Night whispers, Savvy, Being impossible, Time Riders, Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend, The Knife of never letting go, erm erm...

Favourite movie: A lot Like Harry potter, Despicable mee, Death note :D, Step Up movies (the dance scenes at least) and DARK KNIGHT RISES!

Favourite things to do: Slack, slack, listen to music, read a couple of chapters, watch videos and basically slack :DD

Favourite authors (you probably can see down there but to make it easier I'll mention them here):

Queen of the pens (The abyss, The silver warrior) MUST READ

Prin Pardus (Tigerstar's redemption, Journey to redemption, Snatched: the story of snowkit) MUST READ

Unknown soldier shadow (Sidestep, Dissipate, Sunrise: My version, Mistaken, Spiral) MUST READ

Blazingstar of Thunderclan ( Best Friends forever, Almost)

Oinkk }

blackjack19 } I'm trying to read up on Percy Jackson, both of you, happy?

Things to do in an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask, "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY, "Ding!" at each floor.

8) SAY, "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg, how's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the other passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.

Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

My mother taught me...

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going with me."
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
6. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
18. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"
19. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.
"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more."
25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

This is this cat.

This is is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is a cat.

This is retard cat.

This is busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

This is seconds cat.

Now read the third word in each line. XD