Hello people of the world! Thanks for stopping by!

sentences for life:

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (and we all know who I'm talking about)

No one is perfect...well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, twenty-eight to smile, but hey, it only takes four to reach out and to punch someone.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Boys are like slinkys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. How do you feel now?

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you’re up too.

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch, but not too bright.

A wise man once said,"I don't know, go ask the women!"

Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

When in doubt, make up words!

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Out of my mind ... Back in five minutes.

I find the phrase "Good Morning" an oxymoron.

I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my . . . Well I’ll be damned. I'm a sugar bowl.

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes . . . but we love them anyways.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor"—a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless Fun!

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

friends and best friends:

Friends: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
Best Friends: Will go up and ask him, "it's because you're gay isn't it?"

Friends: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
Best Friends: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

Friends: Help you up when you fall.
Best Friends: Keep walking while saying "Walk much, dumb ass?"

Friends: Help you find your prince.
Best Friends: Kidnap him and bring him to you.

Friends: Will ask you why you are crying.
Best Friends: Will know why you are crying without having to ask.

Friends: Will offer you something to drink.
Best Friends: Will spill it on you.

Friends: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
Best Friends: Throw you a tampon and push you in.

Friends: Give you their umbrella in the rain.
Best Friends: Take yours and say, "Run, beep, run."

Friends: Will help you move.
Best Friends: Will help move the bodies.

Friends: Will bail you out of jail.
Best Friends: Would be in the cell next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

Friends: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
Best Friends: Help themselves and are the reason your pantry has been wiped clean.

Friends: Would pick you up from jail.
Best Friends: Would be with you saying, "Damn we messed up."

Friends: Have never seen you cry.
Best Friends: Know every detail behind the emotional breakdowns and laugh with you when you aren't down anymore.

Friends: Tell you that you look nice.
Best Friends: Tell you that you look like a hooker's apprentice, and then help you lace up your boots.

Friends: Forgive you.
Best Friends: Hold a fake grudge against you, until you agree to let them play dolly with you.

Friends: Annoy you.
Best Friends: Tell you to shut up, and then laugh and annoy you some more.

Friends: Will say goodbye and hang up when they are out of things to say.
Best Friends: Will refuse to hang up, and will stay on the line just breathing.

Friends: Laugh with you.
Best Friends: Laugh at you... with you.

Friends: Ask you to write down your number.
Best Friends: Have you on speed dial.

Friends: Borrow your stuff and give it back after a few days.
Best Friends: Lose your stuff and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."

Friends: Only know a few things about you.
Best Friends: Could write a very embarrassing biography on you life's story...

Friends: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
Best Friends: Help you kick said crowd's ass that left you.

Friends: Have to be told not to tell anyone.
Best Friends: Pull the invisible lock and key for their mouth out before you are done telling them.

Friends: Know few secrets about you.
Best Friends: Know every single skeleton in your closet by name, and could blackmail you for eternity.

Friends: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you have had enough.
Best Friends: Will watch you stumble all over the place and say "Girl, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste."

Friends: Would try to put out the fire in your house.
Best Friends: Would be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen.

Friends: Will pick you up when you are down.
Best Friends: Push you back down and laugh.

Friends: Have to ask why you are crying.
Best Friends: Have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

Friends: Will say you can do better.
Best Friends: Will call him up and say, "You have seven days to live... have a nice week."

Friends: Call you your name or a simple nickname.
Best Friends: Call you 'Mi amor' and pretends to cheat on you, and then comes back to you.

Friends: Will send you to rehab.
Best Friends: Are there with you.

Friends: Will teach you how to drive.
Best Friends: Help you push the car into the lake so you can collect insurence.

Friends: Will hide you from the cops.
Best Friends: Are the reason they are after you.

Friends: Won't let you make a fool of yourself in public.
Best Friends: Is making a fool of herself next to you.

Friends: Like you.
Best Friends: Love you.

Friends: Are only temporary.
Best Friends: Are for life.